Had to do some searching, but I found some!

DC to another DC: "She has sex with her boyfriend, then masturbates, then has sex with the other girl." (Non LD)

DC to me: "How we gonna do it?!" (Randomly trying to have sex with me in school in a non LD)

Me: "These carrots are for all of us dumbass!" (NLD)

DC to me: "That girl is annoying the piss out of me. Whichever one of you guys gets rid of her, I'll have sex with you."(NLD)

DC to me: "The only way to stop us is to destroy that indestructible net!"(LD)

Me: "This is a dream!"
DC: "No it's not."
Me: "Really? Watch me make this ball go through my hand!" *Grab ball on table, fail to make it go through hand* (LD)

My friend to the judge at Heaven's entrance: "Man why we gotta do this shit?"
*His quote is then put on a plaque on a wall nearby* (NLD)

DC to DC: "What was that?"
Other DC: "A lesbian kiss" (NLD)

One of my personal favorites:
Me on phone: Hello?
Brother: Where the hell are you?!
Me: Doing endurance exercises at Lauren's house.
Brother: I'm coming over to kick your ass!
(NLD)

Me: *Starts flying away*
DC: Whoa!
DC: That guy is flying!
DC: How's he doing that?! (LD)