The Quitter Phenomenon

**Aeolar** · 06-28-2012 04:30 AM

Have you ever found yourself getting really good at a hobby or skill, sport or activity, when suddenly you've forgotten all about it, only to remember it a few months later? Personally I've seen this happen time and time again, not only with dreaming, which is one of my biggest peeves, but with friends, good habits, etc.

For example: About six months ago I was getting very integrated into lucid dreaming and the lucid dreaming community. I had even reached the point where I was having daily lucid dreams, even several in one night. For about a month this progressed, and I was thoroughly pleased with my progress. Suddenly one night I had terrible recall, a few fragments at most. But I wouldn't let that discourage me, I thought that morning. As the day progressed various events rose in my life: a major school project, friends calling and asking me to go to parties, family issues, the list goes on. Basically everything that could divert me from my task, was trying its hardest to. And it worked!
This post is the first time I've gotten on dreamviews since, and although I've been recording my dreams, they've seriously deteriorated; back at square one if you will.

Now what I suggest is not just an awareness towards this phenomenon, but an urge toward a clarification of what this phenomenon is, how to anticipate and prevent it, or at worst how to quickly pick yourself back up from the ashes and start where you left off.

I've seen again and again people who spontaneously *leave*, whether be it here on DV's or a long time friend.

Put your thoughts, ideas, and stories here!

**smurfman** · 06-28-2012 05:45 AM

THis happens to me with almost all of my hobbies. I start out super motivated and it slowly declines until i just give up. Id say this is the third or fourth crack ive had at lucid dreaming. I would also like to know how to prevent this.

**RebelSeven** · 06-28-2012 05:55 AM

It is normal human nature to be passionate about something one day, and little better than apathetic the next. The only way to truly avoid this is to not just be successful at a task, but to love it.

When you REALLY want to do something, you don't simply drift away from it.

**Aeolar** · 06-28-2012 09:38 AM

Is that true in all cases though? I feel like all the people who come home and sit down at the television for 4 hours a day to watch some lame sitcom before going to bed and restarting their day don't REALLY want to do that, of course there are exceptions but you get my general meaning.

So the question you have to ask yourself is whether or not you truly enjoy this particular activity, and whether you are passionate enough to evoke emotion within yourself.

Hmm.

**dutchraptor** · 06-28-2012 02:08 PM

A great way of encouraging yourself is to write down your feeling on it, or have a deep talk with someone else about it.

**Phion** · 06-28-2012 03:03 PM

McDonald's hash browns are the cure.

**greenhavoc** · 06-28-2012 06:54 PM

When you REALLY want to do something, you don't simply drift away from it.

This is very true.

**Arra** · 06-28-2012 07:34 PM

Originally Posted by RebelSeven

It is normal human nature to be passionate about something one day, and little better than apathetic the next. The only way to truly avoid this is to not just be successful at a task, but to love it.

When you REALLY want to do something, you don't simply drift away from it.

I hope that isn't true. Because if it is, there is nothing that I really want to do.

I doubt it's true though, for me at least. I've felt passionate excitement for things that I don't think could be topped. But eventually it will go away, especially if it's an intellectual activity, due to laziness.

It's very sad. It reminds me of love actually.

**Singularity125** · 06-29-2012 01:02 AM

I hear you, Dianeva. I'm much the same way. The only things that actually get finished have external deadlines set on them... any personal projects inevitably get abandoned. Heck, I don't even beat the vast majority of the games that I own. Super ADD, there.

Inevitably I'll come back to them with renewed vigor, but if it was any sort of real skill I'll be basically starting from square one. And then of course I'll lose motivation again. It's a rather vicious cycle that has happened with all sorts of things, including lucid dreaming.

**Aeolar** · 06-29-2012 04:02 AM

^^^^ THAT'S WHAT I MEAN!

But why Singularity? Why do you think this happens?

(Socrates help me now!)

**RareCola** · 06-29-2012 04:02 AM

I call it the plateau affect. Whenever you're learning new skills you're climbing a ladder until some day you just reach this "plateau" where no matter what you do you're just stuck at your current level. It's during this time so many people lose motivation and after the plateau instead of continuing the climb, they fall back down.

**tsiouz** · 07-01-2012 10:13 PM

Originally Posted by RebelSeven

It is normal human nature to be passionate about something one day, and little better than apathetic the next. The only way to truly avoid this is to not just be successful at a task, but to love it.

When you REALLY want to do something, you don't simply drift away from it.

Well sort of.
What you're experience is called inability to finish a circle or a task.
Propably is caused because a part of you is creating sabotage in you or you're picking something you don't really like in the first place only to find yourself abandon it.

If you wanna solve this problem do the simple exercise.
Let's say you don't like to put in order your clothes in your cupboard.
Every day as the same hour no matter what take all the clothes out of the cupboard and put them back in order again.
After some months if id becomes a routine occupy yourself with something else.

This exercise has the aim to make the person able to finish a circle of exercises something i suspect you're not able to.