Thread: Effeminate vs Homosexual

Originally Posted by complete newb

effeminate is effectively a nice way of saying 'camp'.

:S or it's a more accurate way of identifying what we're talking about without the implication that it's a show or an act. Using terms like 'camp' or 'fey' further confuses the matter because some people do exagerrate or impersonate effeminate traits to fit in certain social sets, such as the gay and 'metrosexual' party scene, whereas others just find it the most natural way to express themselves.

i'm inclined to agree with taosaur- i have quite a few gay or bi friends (i myself am hetrosexual) and i've noticed that i do tend to act more effeminate (in speech and action) when around them. -just adapting to the current enviroment i suppose..

Soslskye posted a video from '83 with an example of how people define themselves beingn similar to defining a hold in a large red piece of wood.

Essentially it's a round, red, wooden vaccuum. You can't describe a hole without describing its environment.

I wouldn't describe myself as gay or metrosexual. My orientation is aimed at women, my lifestyle is based on a collection of shit I like to do, essentially, so its pretty heterosexual, too. I don't feel like I'm putting up a masculine front, this is me and my life style, I simply omit many feminine aspects of my personality from other people.

I own too many posters to put on my wall, some of them are very spiritual, some of them are trippy, some of them are about bands, and some of them are naked women. When I moved back here for college. Automatically, part of my lifestyle is going to be omitted just because there's not enough room. Obviously, when putting posters up I'm going to put up what I think other people will like because I've already seen them all. Primarily it'll be to set a comfortable atmosphere, so some buddha posters remain but for the most part I fill my walls with trippy, bands and naked women.

I'm not hiding my intense interest in spirituality from my friends, it's there I just dont put it in their faces. There's nothing effiminate for me to hide, just nothing to express it with. I don't feel out of place with a bunch of guys doing some badass, retarded guy-shit and getting fucked up. That's my favorite part about being a guy. I just also have taste, an appreciation of beauty and very strong feelings that I'm touch with (I don't talk about them, though)

I honestly don't feel like I'm living a lie, maybe because I gave up on fitting in. I'm not going to assess my qualities and decide what type of person I am. Honestly, I'm not gay, I'm not straight, I'm not a man or a woman, not masculine or feminine, not half and half. I'm over it, I'm over confining myself into a definition. I'm over these fucking lists people come up with in order to designate the parameter at which certain things are able to join a category of things.

Like life, for instance. Fuck the laws of life, a virus doesn't follow all of them but its alive. A scientist might say, "Well a virus isn't alive if it doesn't follow these traits."

A real scientist would say, "We have to change the traits you deuche!"

you guys have honestly never met effeminate men who were straight? you gotta be kidding me. you don't have to look very far to find effeminate men who are straight, just turn on the tele.

turn to a home improvement network - watch some interior design show. you might think every guy on the show designing someones home is utterly and positively gay!!

then you are going to be surprised when they happily introduce their wives and many children on the show! shocking, I know.

the average male in the west is conditioned to act a certain way - like a meat-head. you are also conditioned into thinking that females are more attracted to a guy who acts like a meat-head than a guy who isn't afraid to be a little more emotional.



sorry, but thats not true either

I've always been of the opinion that the trait is notably common among homosexuals because they notice how often it appears in other gays and just general adapt to it, consciously or subconsciously, to sort of 'fit in' or appear as they think many people expect them too. Sometimes it just fails to 'take hold' for whatever reason, other times the person has too strong of a personality for it to take hold.

Compared to how 'hidden' some homosexual men are up until the time they come out, some might just enjoy being able to be out there and flamboyant, however the hell they want to act to counteract the previous years of being withdrawn.

Of course at some point it had to become a 'popular trait' and I really can't explain any of that stuff. This is, of course, all just how I've always viewed it and thus my opinion. Take it as you will.

I agree with alot of these posts, you don't have to be gay to be feminine. People assume that acting like a woman means you are attracted to men as women are...That's like saying a girl acting masculine likes girls..its just FALSE.

Orientation and personality have nothing to do with each other, Its just another stereotype, I have known very masculine and tough gay/bi guys, and really sissy straight guys, and really tough masculine girls...and guess what they were straight.

Anyone who thinks being feminine as a guy makes you like men, they are dead wrong.

But really though, society is so backwards, Men have to act like men...but Women can act like a tough girl (masculine) and its okay..but when men act feminine its "wrong"

Double standard anyone?

I say live your life, if your feminine like me...go show it!
If your uber-masculine...show it too!

Be proud of who you are.