Thread: Would You Accept a Murderer?

Random Hypothetical:

If a loved one (spouse/sibling/parent/child/etc) confessed to you that they'd murdered someone, or even multiple people, would you accept or reject them?


What kind of conditions would affect your response? Would it matter why or who they killed?

We'll presume that the murder isn't recent and therefore it's not a concern over being caught by the police. They just felt guilty about holding it from you so they decided to confess.

If you feel like your religion/culture is relevant, please include that.

If they killed someone for a good reason, then I would probably accept them. However, if they were a serial killer, or just killed on a random impulse, then I would probably not accept them.

I would never reject them. I believe all that is harmful comes from either lack of knowledge, fear, or mental issues. Calling it evil I consider as well the consequence of either lack of knowledge, fear, or mental issue!

How would I react, that I don't know for sure, it depends on absolutely every factor of the situation. But I know I wouldn't turn my back on the person I loved couple of minutes before.

Originally Posted by Luanne

I would never reject them. I believe all that is harmful comes from either lack of knowledge, fear, or mental issues. Calling it evil I consider as well the consequence of either lack of knowledge, fear, or mental issue!

It's good that so many people consider it "evil". That puts such a bad stigma on people who murder that it prevents a lot of murder from happening. Society should passionately reject people who murder. The rejection serves a great purpose.

There are some people I will love no matter what, but that does not mean they will be my friends no matter what. I can't be friends with somebody who ever murdered without just cause. That does not mean I would completely not care about them, though.

I can say there is only one person I think I would not reject if they murdered without a cause. For others it depends on the circumstances of the murder, excluding murder for self defense, that I would accept.

We seems to praise soldiers. They are murderers. Same with politicians, although its more indirect.

Originally Posted by Universal Mind

It's good that so many people consider it "evil". That puts such a bad stigma on people who murder that it prevents a lot of murder from happening.

It's good that murder is considered 'bad'. But the word 'evil' and the often religious, excessive meaning behind it, has the complete opposite effect than what you're saying. And I'm not just talking about murders. Because it is 'evil' there is no point in providing help and education. Because it is 'evil' our anger toward the 'evil person' grows and all we think about is revenge. Because it is 'evil' we don't want any good to that person, cause they don't deserve it! It's excessive, it is wrong and it puts, like you said, a bad stigma. But it seems we have different views on what that particular bad stigma does.

There are some people I will love no matter what, but that does not mean they will be my friends no matter what. I can't be friends with somebody who ever murdered without just cause. That does not mean I would completely not care about them, though.

I agree on this. I don't know whether I would be able to stay close friends with that certain person. All I know, I wouldn't turn my back on them, I would try to understand (not to approve) why they did it, and I certainly wouldn't consider them 'evil'.

And the question of just cause is so complex, especially considering we would be extremely emotional and shaken in that situation, it could easily mess our rational thinking.

Originally Posted by Vampyre

Random Hypothetical:

If a loved one (spouse/sibling/parent/child/etc) confessed to you that they'd murdered someone, or even multiple people, would you accept or reject them?


What kind of conditions would affect your response? Would it matter why or who they killed?

We'll presume that the murder isn't recent and therefore it's not a concern over being caught by the police. They just felt guilty about holding it from you so they decided to confess.

If you feel like your religion/culture is relevant, please include that.

Of course everything is relative, and every situation has its conditions.

It would matter to me why they killed that person, most importantly. Was it self-defense, or something more self-centered? Would I accept a murderer who killed someone in cold blood over something like jealousy, status, or unwarranted impulse? No. I couldn't say that I would, unless there was some sort of rationale for it. I expect competent adults to be aware of themselves enough to know when it is or when it isn't acceptable to take another person's life. If it's a crime of opportunity (rather than necessity), I couldn't see myself accepting that person, because any level of trust would go out the window.

what exactly is meant by "accept" here? to be clear..

Originally Posted by rottingteeth

what exactly is meant by "accept" here? to be clear..

I'm not sure what other term to use. It's basically comparing the reaction of abandonment/rejection/disownment to the lack of such a reaction. Like if you just carried on as normal, not really treating them significantly different. Another way to think of it is whether or not you would testify against them.

This question came to my mind a while ago, and after watching the first two seasons of Dexter it made me think of it again. So I decided to see what others think.


To expand on the original question, here are a few scenarios to consider:

Would you accept...
1. A person who killed a thief that stole from you?
2. A wife who killed her abusive husband?
3. A former soldier suffering severe PTSD who killed someone thinking it was an enemy?
4. A serial killer with an addiction to murder?
5. A starved prisoner who killed an innocent for food?
6. Someone who murdered a rapist? A child rapist?

Would it matter if they were a loved one or a stranger?
What if the person they killed was a loved one?

Originally Posted by Vampyre

I'm not sure what other term to use. It's basically comparing the reaction of abandonment/rejection/disownment to the lack of such a reaction. Like if you just carried on as normal, not really treating them significantly different. Another way to think of it is whether or not you would testify against them.

This question came to my mind a while ago, and after watching the first two seasons of Dexter it made me think of it again. So I decided to see what others think.


To expand on the original question, here are a few scenarios to consider:

Would you accept...
1. A person who killed a thief that stole from you? Yes
2. A wife who killed her abusive husband?Yes
3. A former soldier suffering severe PTSD who killed someone thinking it was an enemy?Yes
4. A serial killer with an addiction to murder?No
5. A starved prisoner who killed an innocent for food?No
6. Someone who murdered a rapist? A child rapist?Hell yes

Would it matter if they were a loved one or a stranger?Maybe
What if the person they killed was a loved one?Fry them

Originally Posted by Vampyre

I'm not sure what other term to use. It's basically comparing the reaction of abandonment/rejection/disownment to the lack of such a reaction. Like if you just carried on as normal, not really treating them significantly different. Another way to think of it is whether or not you would testify against them.

I would be indifferent in any case. If someone I cared about was murdered, I'd accept it and move on. and whether or not you testify against a murderer or whether or not you accept/forgive them is different.

I accept all murderers of every kind because I don't believe in free will. no one has a choice in what they do, ever. everything everyone does is determined by previous conditions. like a domino effect.

killers kill because of a genetic defect, psychological trauma, or a mix of both (nature/nurture). knowing that, I can't possibly see them as monsters. in fact, I believe they are no less of a victim than the people they kill. they are victims of circumstance.

having said all of that, I don't believe that murderers should go unpunished. of course it all depends on the details of each individual case, but for the most part people who kill should be locked up. and I don't care if it's a stranger, my best friend or my own mother, if I felt it was right, I'd testify against them.

regardless of the severity of the crime, they are already forgiven. if I couldn't do it, if not by me, then by god.

(ftr...I'm not religious.)