Purity and Virginity in Modern Society

[no-Name]

Does virginity mean anything to non-Christians? Should virginity mean anything to non-Christians? I mean, obviously sleeping around wouldn't help a relationship; but should we value someone who's never had sex over someone who has? Obviously it's partially personal preference, but how about if we're only choosing to preserve our genitals because of dogma and our surroundings? That's pretty bad, I would say. [21:25] <InvisibleWoman> externally, that depends on where you live. internally, that's for you to decide. [21:25] <+no-Name> well derp internally [21:25] <+no-Name> but are we only deciding internally before of dogma/our surroundings? [21:25] <+no-Name> in which case: that's bad [21:26] <InvisibleWoman> well, tabula rasa or not tabula rasa [21:27] <InvisibleWoman> if no, then you can't help but have a cultural impression [21:28] <+no-Name> tabula rasa is silly and overly generalizes everything [21:28] <+no-Name> but I agree with most of it, so What's the value of virginity?

[Tara]

I am non-religious. I do not value non-virgins over virgins or vice versa. I do not value my virginity specifically, but I know I will value my first time as I value any first experience, whether good or bad. The loss of my virginity will mold me as any experience does and for that, it is valued. It is an important step in my life. I feel that virginity/losing your virginity is a highly subjective experience that does not have any absolute value or non-value, but rather it is relative to ones own thoughts on the subject. It's up to you how to react to the situation prior to, during, and after it happens. Everything in life is an experience, everything we perceive with our senses. It's up to us how we're going to interpret everything and how we're going to allow it to mold our mind.

[no-Name]

agh still not getting my point off Should the world care whether or not someone is a virgin? Should it be expected of someone to be a virgin in a relationship? I guess I'm trying to ask less about the personal value of virginity, and more of the cultural value. still a fine answer, you

[InvisibleWoman]

[22:34] <InvisibleWoman> lol my text really dont helps u [22:35] <+TheUnknown> no-Name: depends on who you ask and where you ask it [22:36] <Forsaken> like the value of some wierd old stamp or something, the value is in the eye of the beholder look at the bible. then look at this: look at the idea of virginity, dogmatically. then look at this: so like thur's historical mesage that be told, and thar be many ways to interpret it. it shud be easy to, but peopl are too easy (oops). the reeson we even has this question is cuz peopl has forget <i>how</i> to interpret.

[Tara]

Thanks. Should the world care whether or not someone is a virgin? Should it be expected of someone to be a virgin in a relationship? No and no. Simple as that. It's unfortunate that people do care and that it is expected, at least by some (mostly religious folk, surprise, surprise). It's unfortunate that someones genuinely good qualities can be completely clouded by their virginity/lack thereof. And it's unfortunate that said sexual activity can affect your chances of being in a relationship. The world, especially the west, is incredibly obsessed with sex whether it be that we love it or hate it. It's hard for some to find middle ground. Either you have to be a virgin or if you are a virgin, you're ridiculed. If you've had too much sex, you're a slut. We need to take some of the stress off of the world of virginity and focus more on judging people based on their richest qualities, or lack there of. I have a lot more trouble speaking for the majority than I do speaking for myself. :x

[Universal Mind]

A person who is not ready to deal with a pregnancy is not ready to have sex. Virginity avoids pregnancy. Virgins also don't have sexually transmitted diseases. That is what is good about it. Beyond that, virginity is nothing special.

[cygnus]

A person who is not ready to deal with a pregnancy is not ready to have sex. Virginity avoids pregnancy. Virgins also don't have sexually transmitted diseases. That is what is good about it. Beyond that, virginity is nothing special. you took the words out of my mouth. although i really would hate being a virgin, i'm terrified of getting a girl pregnant and i currently live in an area with a high rate of STDs among younger people. if it were easier to prevent the risks i don't think virginity would be as significant. you'd think that this would be the case by now, but i guess you have to be cautious without holding yourself back altogether.

[kookyinc]

you took the words out of my mouth. although i really would hate being a virgin, i'm terrified of getting a girl pregnant and i currently live in an area with a high rate of STDs among younger people. if it were easier to prevent the risks i don't think virginity would be as significant. you'd think that this would be the case by now, but i guess you have to be cautious without holding yourself back altogether. I concur. In my magic fantasy world where abortions are easy and loved by society because... Spoiler for Tasteless Joke!: ... fetuses make delicious appetizers at Friendly's! ... and where STDs require a day off from work before they go away, I think virginity would be far less significant for people who think like me. However, many people nowadays seem to think that being a virgin means being pure and wonderful if age < 25. Of course, society seems to find virginity sad if 25 ≤ age < 40, and suicidally (hyperbole) depressing if 40 ≤ age. Where was I? Oh right, to non-believers, I think virginity should be taken as "chance of STDs is unlikely in this person" and not too much else. If the person is swinging with 13 different people a week, I'd consider it somewhat of an indication of said person's character, but generally I would not get out my shun stick if someone were like, "O yeah I'm not a virgin."

[Catbus]

A person who is not ready to deal with a pregnancy is not ready to have sex. Virginity avoids pregnancy. I think that's looking at things in a worst-case scenario sense. Of course nothing is foolproof, but there are many safe-sex practices that can be used to enjoy sex responsibly. I guess responsibility is the largest factor to having safe sex, in my mind. Virgins also don't have sexually transmitted diseases. That's not true at all. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36572428 Sorry for the OT, n-N. Should the world care whether or not someone is a virgin? I do not think so. Virginity doesn't inherently give a person wisdom or enlightenment, so I see no reason why they should be viewed in a light more positive than that of a non-virgin. Should it be expected of someone to be a virgin in a relationship? I guess this takes the issue from a cultural level down to a personal level. In my opinion, I don't care.

[Universal Mind]

I think that's looking at things in a worst-case scenario sense. Of course nothing is foolproof, but there are many safe-sex practices that can be used to enjoy sex responsibly. I guess responsibility is the largest factor to having safe sex, in my mind. Relying on any kind of birth control is always risky. I know of pregnancies that happened because the condom broke, the pill didn't work, the woman went a day without taking the pill, pulling out on time wasn't enough, etc. I also know of women who pulled dirty tricks to get pregnant on purpose. It's a serious game. That's not true at all. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36572428 I'm talking about diseases that are transmitted to a virgin sexually. Hepatitis C can be transmitted sexually, but in other ways also. I wouldn't say a heroin addict who got Hepatitis C by sharing needles has an STD.

[slayer]

I am non-Christian. I do value virginity. I would prefer to date a virgin rather than a non-virgin. However, that's not saying I wouldn't date a non-virgin. I certainly wouldn't avoid someone just because they're not a virgin, and if they're my friend and wanted to date me, I probably would date them. However I would prefer that they are a virgin because I believe taking one's virginity of someone you absolutely love means a lot. I don't know if I'm coming off as a bad person or not, but it's hard for me to explain my thoughts on virginity.

[juroara]

What happens if we ask the opposite question? Should virgins be frowned on in society for their lack of sexual experience? And is this double standard (especially on guys) helping anyone? After all, not too long ago a guy on this forum was complaining that he graduated high-school as a virgin, and felt that this was a bad social stigma. Then some other guys on this forum confessed that they didn't lose their virginity until well after their college years. Why should it matter to anyone other than yourself? Sex is personal. Always has been always will be. Why should you feel ashamed to want to experience the pleasure of sex? Like wise, why should anyone feel ashamed for wanting to wait for the right person and the right time, instead of just doing it for the sake of satisfying societal expectation of normal? While it's always been normal for women to say "I want to wait", why should we pass any different judgment on a guy who also wants to wait for that special someone. Btw, it's always been my understanding that virginity originally meant purity - plain and simple purity. This had nothing to do with whether or not a person has had sex, but rather that there was a purity in everything they do. In other words they don't have base sex just because they're horny - they make love. It's been my understanding that over time, thanks to homophobic priests, that virginity would mean something that was anti-sex.

[C-Fonz]

Virginity avoids pregnancy. What about that girl...I think her name was Mary? Abstinence is 99.9% effective.

[ArcanumNoctis]

The value of virginity is what you place upon it. The world doesn't really give a fuck. No pun intended. Almost all my friends knew I was a virgin when I was. The fact that I was a virgin, they respected and were almost envious. I actually treasured it for a very very long time. I am not religious in the slightest. It wasn't religious dogma that wanted me to keep my virginity. It was the value I placed on myself, which I still place on myself. I came to the thought, we don't live forever, which the experience at thirty would most likely be vastly different than an experience at twenty. Life is all about experiences, so why skip them? Ahh yes, then I found out I was a Casanova. Ironically, my nickname is Little Casanova. No, I don't go sleeping around, but I'm very good, which I prefer one mate. My values are still exactly the same, which the sex is just icing on the cake in this experience we call life.

[tkdyo]

as UM said. The value of virginity is not taking the risk of pregnancy or STDs. I think this is the true original reason why religions put a high value on virginity, the pregnancy part that is.

[Samael]

There's also the effective ownership and subjugation of women. Just saying. Should the world care whether or not someone is a virgin? Should it be expected of someone to be a virgin in a relationship? No, and no. And why? Virginity avoids pregnancy. Virgins also don't have sexually transmitted diseases. Lesbians avoid pregnancy. Lesbians have the lowest rates of STIs out of any sexually active group. Therefore, everyone should be a lesbian.

[tkdyo]

Lesbians avoid pregnancy. Lesbians have the lowest rates of STIs out of any sexually active group. Therefore, everyone should be a lesbian. seconded. wait...

[Invader]

Here's a new twist: Cultures that are experiencing rapid population increases should value virginity. Cultures that are experiencing population declines should not value virginity. It can be used as a tool for maintaining stable populations, get it?!

[no-Name]

Here's a new twist: Cultures that are experiencing rapid population increases should value virginity. Cultures that are experiencing population declines should not value virginity. It can be used as a tool for maintaining stable populations, get it?! Humans are robots! Brilliant Also, thank you everyone for your responses. Very helpful. I pretty much got what I wanted out of this thread, so I just have one two more questions; in your perfect world, what would society's perception of sex and virginity be? How would your perfect world react to the idea of today's values of sex? Thank you and goodnight~

[dajo]

A person who is not ready to deal with a pregnancy is not ready to have sex. That's some statement. Some people may never be ready. And of course a sixteen year old, an eighteen year old or a twenty-something in college wouldn't be ready or able to sustain a living for a small family nor should have to, we have ascended the middle ages. And sure as hell not all people having sex want to have children - granted contraception isn't 100%, but it can be pretty damn close, if you're doing it right. Or by ready to deal with a pregnancy do you mean also ready to deal with something like an abortion or adoption? Or did you mean biologically deal with it, because then I guess I'd agree Does virginity mean anything to non-Christians? Should virginity mean anything to non-Christians? It never meant much to me. It was amazing to lose ones virginity with a loved one together, but it wouldn't have been neccessary. Wether someone chooses to be a virgin or chooses to have sex every weekend, neither is going to get any moral judgement out of me, I think it doesn't matter and is both perfectly acceptable. But regarding the cultural level: Should the world care whether or not someone is a virgin? Should it be expected of someone to be a virgin in a relationship? of course not and of course not.

[Universal Mind]

That's some statement. Some people may never be ready. Sadly, some people will never be ready. And of course a sixteen year old, an eighteen year old or a twenty-something in college wouldn't be ready or able to sustain a living for a small family nor should have to, we have ascended the middle ages. And sure as hell not all people having sex want to have children - granted contraception isn't 100%, but it can be pretty damn close, if you're doing it right. Did you see my examples of things that went wrong with people I know? Those were just a few. I am not somebody who is out to forbid sex among those who are not ready for sex, but the truth is that a lot of people are not ready. A lot of them don't understand the magnitude of what they have been doing until they have a baby on the way. Or by ready to deal with a pregnancy do you mean also ready to deal with something like an abortion or adoption? Or did you mean biologically deal with it, because then I guess I'd agree I was talking in general. All of the things you mentioned are extremely difficult for a lot of people, and abortion and adoption are difficult for pretty much anybody. Remember also that the man doesn't have as much power in those situations. He doesn't get to decide on abortion if the mother doesn't want it, and he doesn't get to decide on adoption or raising the baby himself if the woman chooses an abortion. How many teenagers are ready to play this game?

[Philosopher8659]

Does virginity mean anything to non-Christians? Should virginity mean anything to non-Christians? I mean, obviously sleeping around wouldn't help a relationship; but should we value someone who's never had sex over someone who has? Obviously it's partially personal preference, but how about if we're only choosing to preserve our genitals because of dogma and our surroundings? That's pretty bad, I would say. Can a blind man choose which color a thing is that would match yet another? What you have said is that you are completely unaware of any standard by which human action is to be measured by. Now, is not the real sadness? That sadness is not over just your pecker, but over every decision of your life. That is not only sad, but tragic.

[Universal Mind]

Can a blind man choose which color a thing is that would match yet another? What you have said is that you are completely unaware of any standard by which human action is to be measured by. Now, is not the real sadness? That sadness is not over just your pecker, but over every decision of your life. That is not only sad, but tragic. Please be more vague.

[Philosopher8659]

If you cannot understand something simple, I am afraid you cannot understand anything beyond it.

[Samael]

Ah yes, the Argument by Prestigious Jargon. I just looked this up on google so I would appear to know what I'm talking about. Maybe I should use a thesaurus to replace every word in this post until it's entirely unreadable. Philosopher is secretly Stephanie Meyer, you know.