How to stop re-calling memory/dream?

**xhayatox** · 02-09-2013 04:56 AM

I have a problem. I had my first nightmare a few days ago, and the memory of the dream/nightmare no longer bothers me or scares me, but the problem is, I thought about the dream so much in the last 48 hours, that I think my brain has now made it a habit to recall the dream. Whenever I'm doing something that distracts me, I don't think about the dream. But as soon as I am alone with my thoughts, my brain starts re-calling it and reminding me of the dream. I feel like, with memories, they often fade by themselves, and then you no longer recall them anymore because they aren't important to you, but this particular memory/dream, I feel like I'm trying to suppress it, more than I am trying to forget it. Any idea how I can stop this newly-formed habit of recalling this dream and reminding myself of it? It was my first nightmare, like I said. It doesn't scare me to think about it anymore, or bother me. But I keep recalling the dream in my head as a habit and reminding myself of it. Any idea how can I move on and stop obsessively/compulsively bringing it up in my memory?

**gab** · 02-09-2013 05:03 AM

I know exactly what you mean. It will pass in a few days.

What I do when I get a thought I don't want to have - I snap myself out of it and force myself to recall something pleasant. A cool movie, making a plan for next day, daydream about something. Then I keep that thought in my head until it takes off on its own.

On occasion, I tell myslef "That's stupid, why would you be doing that to yourself. Stop it". Sometimes it works. Good luck

**SaxtonHale** · 02-09-2013 05:06 AM

I have had dreams like that as well. While I haven't had any nightmares that were that powerful, I have had dreams that were that lasting and burned in. I found that trying to find as many metaphors and meanings in your dream and trying to apply them to your every day life is a good way to get around the feeling that you're constantly thinking about it, because when i started doing that I was able to change my habits much more quickly. because of how often I thought of the dream, I would constantly think about how I wanted to change a part of my life; for me, it was how little exercise I was getting, but it could be anything.

**xhayatox** · 02-09-2013 05:35 AM

Originally Posted by SaxtonHale

I have had dreams like that as well. While I haven't had any nightmares that were that powerful, I have had dreams that were that lasting and burned in. I found that trying to find as many metaphors and meanings in your dream and trying to apply them to your every day life is a good way to get around the feeling that you're constantly thinking about it, because when i started doing that I was able to change my habits much more quickly. because of how often I thought of the dream, I would constantly think about how I wanted to change a part of my life; for me, it was how little exercise I was getting, but it could be anything.

Ah, so you know the feeling right? Basically I had this "nightmare" about three nights ago. And over these last three days, I find myself waking up, and immediately reminding myself of the dream. Like upon waking up, my brain goes, "hey remember this dream?" and then I have to push the memory to the back of my mind to try and avoid thinking about it. But I just want the memory to fade. I just want to stop giving it attention. Why am I so strung up on it? I don't care about it anymore. The dream happened. It's over. It ended. It holds no significance to me. It's not important, and I don't fear it any longer. Yet, I've thought about it so much and I keep recalling it that I feel like I can't think normally anymore. What if I did like, some serious brain-damage to my mind or something? I feel that's a bit absurd to say, but I'm just wishing that I never had this dream in the first place. Now I can't forget the damn memory and move on from it. I want to feel like myself again. I just want to wake up and carry on with my day, and not have to bring this dream up time and time again. It's just unnecessary. I'm just stressing myself out by doing this. How do I just let go and stop caring? I just need to move on.

**Darkmatters** · 02-09-2013 06:01 AM

Here's an article about how memory works - this is fascinating and rather surprising stuff: The Forgetting Pill Erases Painful Memories Forever | Wired Magazine | Wired.com

Basically what it says is that every time you rmember something your brain actually re-creates the memory, and that you can change it by recalling it over and over a little differently each time. There were experiments with having people recall painful memories while they were blissed out on some kind of drugs making them feel relaxed and pleasant - this seems to help a good deal. I figure it's worth a try anyway. Not with drugs, but you could just get yourself feeling really good (I leave the details up to you) and then re-remember it. Change the whole thing and tell it to people several times - or turn it into a funny version of itself. Remember it that way ten times and I'll bet the original memory becomes so diffuse you won't be bothered by it anymore.

Or of course by the same token, re-dream it and change the details (if you're able to become lucid when you want to). That will probably be far more effective - I used to redream some of my dreams later the same night and it made me forget the original.

**xhayatox** · 02-09-2013 06:11 AM

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Here's an article about how memory works - this is fascinating and rather surprising stuff: The Forgetting Pill Erases Painful Memories Forever | Wired Magazine | Wired.com

Basically what it says is that every time you rmember something your brain actually re-creates the memory, and that you can change it by recalling it over and over a little differently each time. There were experiments with having people recall painful memories while they were blissed out on some kind of drugs making them feel relaxed and pleasant - this seems to help a good deal. I figure it's worth a try anyway. Not with drugs, but you could just get yourself feeling really good (I leave the details up to you) and then re-remember it. Change the whole thing and tell it to people several times - or turn it into a funny version of itself. Remember it that way ten times and I'll bet the original memory becomes so diffuse you won't be bothered by it anymore.

Or of course by the same token, re-dream it and change the details (if you're able to become lucid when you want to). That will probably be far more effective - I used to redream some of my dreams later the same night and it made me forget the original.

But the thing is, I'm not bothered by it now at all. The dream does not bother me, nor frighten me. The effects are gone. I have nothing to fear. The problem is the habit that I've created over the last few days. I've recalled the memory so much that my brain feels the need to recall it now or remind myself about it. I just need a way to reverse the habit and stop making my brain bring this memory up over and over. I just want to be able to have normal thoughts again.

**Darkmatters** · 02-09-2013 06:14 AM

Oh ok, that shouldn't be too hard. Just get real busy doing lots of stuff - don't give yourself time to think about it. Engage yourself in something very different from what you normally do that requires all your attention. IDK, start playing a new video game or something really engrossing.

**xhayatox** · 02-09-2013 06:16 AM

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Oh ok, that shouldn't be too hard. Just get real busy doing lots of stuff - don't give yourself time to think about it. Engage yourself in something very different from what you normally do that requires all your attention. IDK, start playing a new video game or something really engrossing.

I try. Once I'm engaged I stop thinking about it. Then once my mind is free, it starts drifting around and brings up the memory again. I don't want to recall the dream anymore because it's a waste of time and thought, yet for some reason I keep reminding myself of it by habit and it's just so annoying at this point.