Physical affection differences

[Yulei]

When I started attending school my classmate caught my attention. I always noticed him the most out of all of my classmates and wanted his recognition the most. However I don't think it was a crush or that I've had feelings for him, but it was rather me seeing him as an intellectual equal and only recognizing him. I didn't see him again from when I turned 15 years old, but often heard of him. I didn't have any strong feelings about him leaving, but he always remained a somewhat more memorable person from my school-years. I didn't feel true jealously when he started dating and expressing romantic interest in other girls. I toyed with thoughts of wanting him to be interested in me slightly, but didn't have a real desire for him to pursue me or to get close to him. I don't think I have supressed romantic feelings for him or had at any point of my life, or that I am in denial of it. However he is the only person I dreamed about having romantic or perhaps more like affectionate interactions with. Never to the point of a kiss, but often about him initiating physical contact towards me, I was never the one to initiate it ,though. In my dreams I also often notice his presence strongly when he is present among other people I know and my attention is on him in these cases. I can see those as the things I wanted from him in real life. I wanted his attention and interest, but I believe in a friendly way. What's interesting is that these kind of dreams persisted through the 6 years after I never saw him again, appearing in the time periods when I'm not concerned with some issue in my life, albeit I am quite sure I lost the interest I used to have in him. I did see him from afar a few times and had no reaction. I suspect that it may be related to the insolved self-esteem and image issues I was conscious of in school-as in the environment he was around in too. Now I have fallen in love with a woman with whom I am separated by a great distance with. Today I dreamed that we hung out - the first time I have such a dream or a dream about her really, though I have had strong feelings for her for awhile. She was wearing dark reddish brown clothes - something she would wear. Then after awhile of roaming around, the scene changed. She was wearing a pale pink sweater (warmer than the weather would require her to and also uncharacteristic clothes for her)and brought me a basket of oranges (lately I am eating and craving oranges though). I took one orange from the basket, pressed it to my mouth or cheek area-it was too soft, probably rotten. I hugged her, not sure whether overwhelmed by her gesture or just waiting for the chance to do it, since I often fantasize about being able to hug her. She didn't mind it, though wasn't too into it as well. Is there more meaning and significance to the difference in how I initiate physical contact with her in my dreams, while with the boy it's him that initiates ( and I'm unresponsive. It's nice when he does it. I like and appreciate the warmth or human affection, but don't find it more desirable with him than anyone else). Also do you think there could be any other reasons for why he is such a common figure in my dreams, that aren't my unsolved issues and him representing the environment of my past like I think it is ?

[ghuntington]

Hi, My take on dreams is quite different than many others. I will babble on for a bit about why we use people in our dreams like your old classmate and your new lover. I've found in my own dreams and that of many others who I've assisted, that we use emotions and/or emotional events to help us recall a dream. Then, we have events within these dreams that don't literally interpret well. This causes us to then try to puzzle out the dream. I've found in my own dreams and that of others that we may use people we know for several different purposes. They may be themselves, a symbol of our masculine or feminine, an aspect of ourselves or a teacher. To give you an example, my wife is often in my dreams. Sometimes she's herself but mostly she's a symbol of my feminine. So if you're still with me here, how is a person to know who's who in a dream zoo? The answer is by learning to listen to ourselves and being able to connect with our higher self. That's what meditation can give a person. About a year and a half ago, I felt compelled to put up on the internet what I have learnt about my dreams. If you go to * Link Removed * you'll see a dream discussion paper, 10 things I've learnt from my dreams, a story about the multiverse we live in, a rich resource section, a page devoted to different meditation techniques et al. You can also check me out via a number of interpretations I've done here. If I've intrigued you, then you can let me know via this post or, send me an email to [email protected] and I'll happily assist you with a dream interpretation. With kind regards, Guy