Hi there my friend
You said that you practice dream recall, own a DJ and do an RC every time, So I don't see any problem with that.

While 3 years later I have no results...
Correct me if I'm wrong, based on this 3 things(recall, DJ, RC), I predict that you're using either DILD or MILD. Why not try a different approach my friend? Why not do a WILD instead? Doing WILD lets you enter the dream world manually while DILD/MILDs are actually random. If you are interested, try reading DV's official WILD Tutorial or King Yoshi's WILD Tutorial.

"destabilized" and I was literally tossed from sleep back into my bed.
It's pretty common to be destabilized especially when you're not focused in your dream. I suggest you read the Dream Stabilization and Clarity Tutorial. The main thing here is being connected with the dream itself. When you're in a dream, be focused and aware of the dreamscape. Feel the dream wind, taste you dream saliva or hear the chirping of the dream birds. Just be CONNECTED. Feel free to ask if you've got questions. Hope this helps