Hi Minigirl!
Those are all good questions. To have a lucid dream, there are two main techniques. One, when you realize you are dreaming when having a regular dream (DILD), and the other one, when you fall asleep concsiously, so you enter a dream while aware (WILD).
Main areas that will help you attaining lucidity are keeping a dream journal, practicing daytime awareness, reality checks and mantras.
Please start with this Beginners guide. It will give you and idea about the basics.
More tutorials are in DV Wiki.. Once you decide on your induction technique, read up about it in more detail. Generally, DILD is recommended as a good technique to start with, since WILD is more technical.
Happy dreams
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