Girl from the past won't stop visiting my dreams

**Fris** · 09-08-2015 09:17 PM

To begin with, I became friends with this girl in the 1st grade of Elementary School. We were in the same class. That's about 13 (or something) years ago. We were not that close friends in the beginning, but she ended up being my first girlfriend ever, in 5th grade I think.
It didn't last too long, as one would expect at that age, but we still were friends.

In the Junior High School our friendship got much closer. We were still in the same class, we talked all the time, laughed all the time and were doing all crazy things together. For three years we had that special friendship going on, until we started in High School and studied different things and never saw eachother anymore. Since then we haven't talked nearly as much as we used to. Now it's almost three years since we went our own paths, and we never see eachother more. She doesn't live very far from me, but our ways seem to never cross (except when we hit the clubs, but I wouldn't count that since we don't get much time to talk).

For as long as I have kept a dream diary, about 2 years, I have dreamt about her almost every single night. Lately it's been crazy, she shows up every night, sometimes even in more than one dream per night.
I was always sexually attracted to her, and she later admitted that she liked me aswell in High School, but now she has a boyfriend. I've been wanting to tell her about these dreams, but it seems like I never get a good chance.
Earlier when I dreamt about her, we usually got very intimate, sometimes we even had sex.
Nowadays it seems like she just is there, almost watching over me. Sometimes she's very vulnerable, and I have to take care of her, other times we just hang and do friend-stuff, aaand other times she just is there, somewhere.

I can get lucid a few times every month if I want, and I've been wanting to question her in the lucid state, but when I do get lucid, that thought has never crossed my mind. Honestly I am a bit afraid of asking her why she appears so often, but I guess I just have to do it soon, because I can't get my mind on other things in waking life anymore.

I haven't told anyone about this yet, and that's why I writing it here now, just to get it out. I think it's healthy to get it out, and I would appreciate any thoughts from any one of you. Either tips on what to do in waking life, or in the dream state.

Cheers

**sisyphus** · 09-08-2015 11:24 PM

I appreciated your honest self-introspection, so thank you for sharing. It is good to write about it and it is good to get it out. In that vein, if you don't already, it can be a great benefit to keep a private journal to share your thoughts in. So that you can explore and release thoughts and work on untying some of the knots in your mind. Or just to track the more mundane happenings of everyday life.

As for this girl, it seems to me that perhaps she has become a larger symbol of relationships and femininity in your mind. So you might consider that some of your feelings directed toward her are actually directed toward your concepts of intimacy and partnership in general. Exploring that angle may help to dislodge her as the only symbol and invite a more rounded interaction with women in dreams.

**Fris** · 09-09-2015 09:34 PM

Thank you! Yeah, I didn't think that she could be a symbol for anything other than lost love or regret.
You could be on to something here! It makes sense actually, I don't know why I would be dreaming so much about her if it wasn't anything like that.

Anyway, I have decided that I will ask her the next time I see her in a dream. Hopefully she will give me a real and thorough answer that I can truly understand. I haven't had any real, deep conversations with DC's in a LD before. I've tried speaking to my higher Self though, but I haven't got any faithful answers, as it seems I'm not ready for any of the truth.