Thread: To LD or not to LD?

Hi

So I've been diagnosed with paranoid skizofrenia and I've had these nightmares ever since. I don't think you can understand how awful it is if you're not crazy like I am but maybe you can help anyway.
Basically I'm very afraid of losing control over my body and having my soul dragged to hell or being stuck in a dream forever. I know in my rational mind that this is impossible and I have shaken a lot of the fear but it still remains.
The nightmares generally involve sleep paralysis and false awakenings and I'm semi lucid. I'll try to wake up but I'll just have a false awakening like 7 times before I finaly do wake up.
They propably don't sound that scary to you but they're made scary because of my diagnosis.
One example goes like this:
I'm laying in my bed, I wake up in sleep paralysis (inside the dream), I try to move but it doesn't work at first but I manage to wake up (I think) but I'm really in a new dream. In this dream same thing happens and I get more afraid and suddenly my bed starts lifting up towards the ceiling. So there I am floating right under the ceiling and I manage to wake up again. Just kidding I'm in a new dream and I'm even more scared. This time I see a demon's leg sticking out from under the bed. I still can't move. (This is also something I'm very afraid of, to actually see demons and stuff, because I'm afraid my illness will escalate) I manage to have yet another false awakening. This time I'm in a soccer field and I'm having a discussion with a jog about something that doesn't matter. I'm happy that the nightmare is over but then I see the demon leg again and I'm pretty fucking scared at this point cause I realize I'm still in the dream and I'm afraid I'll never wake up. I hear a defening high pitch scream and I wake up screaming in yet another false awakening though this time I wake up for real after a little while of sleep paralysis.
A bunch more stuff happened but this is the gist of it.

Now the question is: Should I lucid dream or not?
I have this urge after I wake up that I want to have made it into a lucid dream since I was already semi lucid. But I'm afraid I'll have even worse nightmares (trust me there's some pretty dark shit in my head, this is just the stuff that I can explain, it get's much, much worse, which I've also had nightmares about). I'm also afraid I won't be able to enjoy the lucid dream cause I'd be afraid of not waking up even if the dream was good.
On the other hand it could be kinda therapeutic to beat that fear I suppose and I have a personality that wants to face things head on rather than running away but I'm not sure this is wise in this scenario, I've read that LD'ing is ill adviced for people with mental illness. Maybe I should just learn to wake myself up more reliably. Propably by learning to remember to take deep breaths instead of thinking about waking up cause that'll just give me a false awakening.

What do you think I should do? I really wanna have good enjoyable lucid dreams. I even think it could help my illness if I managed to conquer it. But if not it would propably be pretty traumatizing.