Before I became interested in dreams, I had the very same problem that you have. Im a huge believer in the fact that your mind associates your environment with a particular behavior or state. For example, if you tend to lay/sit on your bed while reading, listening to music, or talking on the phone, your mind will tend to associate your bed with your waking activities rather than sleep.
One major thing that helped me is using my bed ONLY when I'm ready for sleep. This helps your mind put itself in a "ready for sleep" mindset the minute you lay on your bed. Your could even take this a step further by trying to only be in laying position at bedtime for a while. I used to do a lot of things laying down that I could easily do standing up, but after a while a standing becomes related to activity or thought and laying down becomes related to rest or sleeping.
Some other tips:
1. ONLY lay down to bed when both your body and mind is tired! I know a lot of people that have the same problem you do, and its because they tend to try to sleep before they're ready (they think they need such-and-such amount of time each night, when really it can vary from person to person and day to day).
2. Pick a CD that is utterly relaxing to you (not too exciting or stimulating, but not too sad or boring either--someone on DV suggested Boards of Canada which is one of my sleep-CD's as well, along with Team Sleep and Broken Social Scene). It should be something that helps you clear your mind, rather than something that puts you in a specific mood--other than relaxation. Instrumentals are perfect because they don't give you lyrics to think about. Use a CD of your choice when you go to bed for a while (to start off with a month is enough time to get you accustomed to it). After some time, this music will contribute to your sleep mindset as well, in the same way.Then you can change the CD if you want, and it will have the same effect.
3. Some also say that certain smells help, since smell is the strongest sense tied to memory. For a while I burned one specific scent of incense as I fell alseep (I don't recommend candles because they're more fire-hazardous, and aren't healthy for your lungs/nasal passages to burn all night--incense burns out on its own and there is less residue in their smoke). Pick a scent you like, and MAKE SURE you have a holder that catches the ashes well. Light the incense about 15-20min. before going to bed for about a month, like the music. It should be a scent that is neutral, like Sandalwood, Chamomile or Musk (fruity/flowery scents tend to be too stimulating). Looking into aromatherapy might help you to pick one thats right for you.
3. Run through your thoughts about the day throught the day, or an hour or so BEFORE you go to bed. Think of everything you did, and what you will do tomorrow, etc. before you lay down to sleep. This helps get excess thoughts out of your system before the sleep mindset sets in.
4. Repeating thoughts helps too, as you mentioned. (I usually repeat things like "I will have good lucidity tonite" or "I will do such-and-such kind of reality check" or "I will remember my dream when I wake up and write it down"--it helps to be specific). But one method I've found that works better for a dream-mindset is to focus on stillness. I try to move as little as possible when trying to sleep, and focus on the stillness of my body. Sometimes I try to visually "feel" the stillness starting at my toes, and very slowly making its way up my body. By the time the stillness gets to my chest or neck, I'm drifting into sleep.
I really hope this helps you. It took me a long time to get over the same problem you had, and I couldn't LD until I got over it. But all I know is that these tips helped me, in fact this very morning I had my first lucid since joining DV (and you've already had a WILD, so you're ahead of me)!
Happy dreaming!

PS>> If you or anyone else would like more suggestions for sleep music, PM me! I love music and dreaming, and I have my own set of sleeptime-mixCD's that have helped me and some other dreamers.
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