Thread: Does this make me a lesbian?

Well put Oneironaut, well put.

Originally Posted by Dreaming Naturally

This post may be in the wrong place, but I didn't know where else to put it. If I had lucid sex with a girl, does that make me a lesbian or bisexual? I have only had relationships with men in real life. It sort of disturbs me because this has happened to me on a number of occasions.

I have heard that when you dream of having sex with the same sex and you are not truely that way... that you feel a loss of relationship with a female or that you are being troubled from a lost feeling that your mother has not fufilled for you. You may want a female friendship and do not have a close bond with anyone that you truely can connect to. Not in a lesbian way at all, just a closeness that you need in your life right now.

Originally Posted by Oneironaut

It doesn't mean that you like doing it in real life. But, it might imply that - if you wouldn't have the restraint of a logical, waking-world mind constantly feeding you with awareness of the consequences if you actually beat the shit out of people for what you believed is something they deserved to get beat down for - you would feel justified in doing it.

To bring that to light is to merely acknowledge the possible implication - not to say that having the dream actually means it.

So then. I dream, and therefore I...may be?

Some psychologists claim deep down inside everyone is bisexual. After all, everyone does have a female and male side. And maybe you could have been a woman or a man in a past life, so yeah it all doesn't really matter that much which gender you have and which gender you go for because earth is overpopulated anyway.

Originally Posted by neika

I have heard that when you dream of having sex with the same sex and you are not truely that way... that you feel a loss of relationship with a female or that you are being troubled from a lost feeling that your mother has not fufilled for you. You may want a female friendship and do not have a close bond with anyone that you truely can connect to. Not in a lesbian way at all, just a closeness that you need in your life right now.

Indeed, you could even dream about having sex with a rock. Doesn't mean you are attracted to rocks. It just means you had a wierd dream.

I think it could mean ,there theres a female you feel a significan attraction to, remeber, your dreams can be symbols for your mind, you wouldnt use a ship as a symbol of a ship right? It could mean that your mind is telling you something, just not exactly what you think it is.

I would say that no it does not make you a lesbian, bisexual... it makes you no different than you were before the dream. I am a lesbian and have had man dreams where I had sex with men, and few where I have sex with women. I find it very annoying... but it doesn't change my sexuality in any way.

Ure neither but it Kinda depends if ure a teen then i guess ure just bi-curious

You sexuality is defined by who you are attracted to and who you sleep with in the waking world. Nothing more, nothing less.

I dreamt i was talking to a Cat about astrophysics the other night.
I am pretty sure it dosnt mean i wish to do the same thing in real life.

Originally Posted by Advantageous Noodle

I like how some people actually believed that the question had a clear cut answer.

I think it does have a clear-cut answer. The question was does having such a dream mean she is a lesbian or bisexual. The answer is no. Of course she may be one, but simply having this dream doesn't MEAN that (even a lucid dream).

The question that doesn't have a clear-cut answer is "WHY did I have that dream?" And I think there were plenty of good answers here already.

lol, well i only have one thing to say to you, and you don't have to respond.

If you liked having sex with the females in your dreams. Well guess what, you could be bi. Now if you just happened to have sex with a female in your dreams, and you didn't enjoy it, it could just be some random brain impulses in your head, and completely ignore it.

Don't not be bi because you might have some get ups about it. Be your self. Don't fight who you are and all that

Lie to other people, not your self heh

So anyways, if you enjoyed the sex with the female in your dream, then yes that makes you bi. However if you just happened to have sex with a female in your dream, and you didn't enjoy it. Then maybe thats just your SC trying to learn about you or something simple like that

Just having sex with another female doesn't make you BI in my opinion, you have to enjoy the sex, if you dont enjoy the sex, your not really bi or lesbian.

Originally Posted by xypowerpop

why label yourself anyway? What's th significance?

Bravo!

Originally Posted by xypowerpop

why label yourself anyway? What's th significance?

Labels have their uses. They do help in understanding yourself, but problems come when one gets bogged down by them and tries to put everything in neat little boxes I guess.

Originally Posted by Dreaming Naturally

This post may be in the wrong place, but I didn't know where else to put it. If I had lucid sex with a girl, does that make me a lesbian or bisexual? I have only had relationships with men in real life. It sort of disturbs me because this has happened to me on a number of occasions.

Not in the least bit! I once had a dream I was having sex with a man (a co-worker of all things). I am DEFINITELY heterosexual! So much so, that I would have LOVED to watch your dream!!! Seriously! Anyway, my dream wasn't lucid, whereas you said yours was. Remember that lucidity does NOT mean control! A person can have a LD and have absolutely no control whatsoever. Control is simply the next step (although I wonder if control can be achieved without lucidity...probably not).

One more thing to remember...our DC's are almost 100% of the time not representatives of the actual person they depict. Having sex with this woman probably means your mind was equating some characteristic of woman to a man you love. Just guessing.

Oh, one last thing....dreams of high emotions (e.g. death, hate, excitement, and love (sex)) can leave us very confused and sometime frightened. What you experienced is normal!

P.S. The next time you dream of having sex with another woman, dream me there, okay!

Lol, thank you paradox.

Hey, I had sex with a bookshelf in a dream ON PURPOSE.
Does this make me a bookshelf homo, because I was a bookshelf too?
WAIT THOUGH, does this mean I'm really a bookshelf? Maybe this is something like transsexualism, except I'm really a bookshelf inside a man, or in the literal case of my dream, a bookshelf stacked onto a bookshelf orgasming?!?

You either were lucid and in control, meaning your disturbance by homosexuality is some hypocritical guilty pleasure, OR you weren't really lucid at all, in which some subliminal urge to fuck a woman is so disturbing because part of you says yes and part of you says no, and you love to arm wrestle the right hand with the left.

There's no need to label yourself or anyone else, it just leads to satisfied ignorance in that you pretend to think you know something.
Why not just let it be, instead of caring so much of what is and what isn't, because sexuality is not constant and neither is anything else you can define. You have an underlying desire or repulsion that's causing these homosexual dreams, beyond that no-one knows so no point in asking.

TL;DR - You seem to care because you're disturbed by homosexuality, which is likely also the underlying reason that you're having these dreams. If you fully accept then they don't matter (which they didn't in the first place), so no disturbance.

[insert smiley face]

im gonna say yes. simply cause of the fact that you were concious of your actions. not lesbian though, probly bi. that's my 2 cents.

A lot of people view sexuality on a continuum, with very few people being absolutely gay or straight. This idea has been popularized by Alfred Kinsey, of the famous Kinsey Report.

Sexuality is highly subjective and personal. Don't listen to these people; they're not you so what do they know? If you are a healthy person, your feelings and thoughts about your sexuality will probably change and evolve throughout your life.

Everyone has seen male dogs hump each other...are they gay? I just figure they're dogs who will hump anything. Humans have animal lust that is bridled by social mores. Gay, straight, bi - sex is sex and whatever rules/labels you place on your own sexual behavior are your business. IMO, it's your behavior, not attractions, that really counts. Girls who dream about sex with girls, but only ever have sex with guys are effectively straight. But don't live your life by my or anyone else's opinion.

Bottom line, what you do in your dreams doesn't have to have any bearing on your real life, unless you decide it has.

Like others have agreed.. I think consciously having sex with a woman in lucid dreams at least means that you are probably Bi-Curious or Bisexual. I guess I would fall under the Bisexual category.. But I myself, hate labels.
I'd listen to what Oneironaut has to say- He seems to be pretty on target with his answers.

But if you are Bisexual, I don't think you should be worried or scared at all! It's more widely accepted now than it was before.. Just, embrace it in which ever way is comfortable with you. Whether you choose to take dating a woman outside of the dream world is your choice, obviously.. But I really don't think there is as much as a social stigma on it as before.
You should watch The L Word. As lame as that sounds for me to suggest that, it's a good show as far as showing your normal, every day couples.. But all of the couples are lesbians. It's actually like watching any straight show on TV, except for the fact that they are lesbians. My straight friend actually watches it, and she was the one who told me about it.

Anyway, the reason I suggested that, is because it may help your insecurities, as you seem to be facing some. =]

I would say no, since what happens in dreams can be different and have different meaning from real life. You're never 100% lucid. It's certainly not an indicator of your sexual orientation.

sorry if this is a bit off topic but Slash112 I REALLY want the pic in your Sig, where can i get it??

Originally Posted by Jadestar

I think it does have a clear-cut answer. The question was does having such a dream mean she is a lesbian or bisexual. The answer is no. Of course she may be one, but simply having this dream doesn't MEAN that (even a lucid dream).

The question that doesn't have a clear-cut answer is "WHY did I have that dream?" And I think there were plenty of good answers here already.

Oh, yes. In retrospect, I don't really know where I was going with that. =\

I think what I meant was "I think it is silly how every is saying that because she had the dream we can all safely assume she is one thing or another."

I am surprised no one considered this angle.

Maybe it is less a question of the object of the dream than the subject.
Most women who are bisexual enjoy having sex with other women because it is different. It can be more tender and gentle and women really know what women like. Most people can intuit that without ever having had sex with another woman. That said maybe you are just interested in a different type of sex and has nothing to do with who it is with. Maybe you wish the man in your life were more gentle and tender and in tune with what you really want (IE: more foreplay). So I say, if this rings a bell, then you gotta tell him you'd like it a little differently sometimes.

I'm sorry, but has anyone here ever heard of the Kinsey scale? Sexuality is not as clean cut as labels like gay or straight, or even bisexual. Nothing about human beings is that black and white. There are many levels and shades of sexuality.

[QUOTE=EarthPixie;1006157]I am surprised no one considered this angle.

Maybe it is less a question of the object of the dream than the subject. /QUOTE]

I think I like your suggestion the best. It makes sense. I think the rest of us took the dream too literally.

Hell, maybe the dream didn't mean anything about sex, only that she wanted people in general to be more gentle.