Thread: Does this make me a lesbian?

This post may be in the wrong place, but I didn't know where else to put it. If I had lucid sex with a girl, does that make me a lesbian or bisexual? I have only had relationships with men in real life. It sort of disturbs me because this has happened to me on a number of occasions.

well since it was lucid, so you had control, so you must have wanted to do this, then i guess it makes you a lesbian. infact, even if it was a normal dream, then the message that dream would have is that you are a lesbian.

conclusion: you are a lesbian/bisexual

Unless it was free will.

Gay men have wet dreams about women.
Straight men can have wet dreams about men.

Just think about it.

What makes you think that having a sexual experience with or without free will with a girl makes you a lesbian/bisexual anyway?

If I wanted to, I could have sex with just about anyone or anything in my dreams.

Nah, JK.

No, but it perhaps makes you bi/curious. Nobody can really answer that off of the single situation alone. What do you think about females? Would you be curious to find out what it's like to have sex with one (as evidenced by your choosing to do it in a lucid dream), or do you find absolutely no sense of attraction to them at all?

Not that it's anything you should be afraid of but, if you find yourself attracted enough to the opposite sex to choose to have sex with them in your lucids, there is a very good chance you are bisexual.

Originally Posted by Oneironaut

No, but it perhaps makes you bi/curious. Nobody can really answer that off of the single situation alone. What do you think about females? Would you be curious to find out what it's like to have sex with one (as evidenced by your choosing to do it in a lucid dream), or do you find absolutely no sense of attraction to them at all?

Not that it's anything you should be afraid of but, if you find yourself attracted enough to the opposite sex to choose to have sex with them in your lucids, there is a very good chance you are bisexual.

I'm not sure what to think, to be completely honest with you. Like I said, all of my relationships have been with men. I think women can be very attractive. I've even had women hit on me before but I always shrugged them off because it seemed like it should be inappropriate. I suppose that I have been curious before but I've never had any real intent to have a relationship with a girl. Oh and by the way, every time I have had dream sex with a girl, it was before I became lucid. In fact, I have used it as a dream sign to become lucid before. I have continued to have sex with my dream girl while lucid before. And sometimes I move on and try to do other dream activities like flying, searching for my dreamguide, etc.

Short answer, no.

Long answer, dreams are the randomly firing of neurons while you're asleep. Dreaming strange things in no way reflects upon you as a person.

However, thats not to say that you personally aren't bicurious... and that's something that we can't really help you with. The only real way to know is through some good ol' fashioned introspection.

Edit: .. and also at least you're lucid dreaming X)

Originally Posted by Dreaming Naturally

I think women can be very attractive. I've even had women hit on me before but I always shrugged them off because it seemed like it should be inappropriate. I suppose that I have been curious before but I've never had any real intent to have a relationship with a girl.

That, to me, sounds like you might be bisexual. If you feel an attraction to women, and don't act on it simply because you feel it might be "inappropriate" (which is usually do to pressure that you feel from society imposing its view of what is 'normal and accepted'), then - at the core - you're probably bisexual by nature.

Think about it this way: If waking life was more like the dream world (and you didn't have to face any of the adversity you might face if you acted on your attraction to woman - having sex with one here and there, for whatever reason) would you stick to only men? Even if it didn't have to go so far as a 'relationship,' and it was purely being 'friends with benefits,' would you have any problem messing around with a girl?

If not, then that's pretty straight-forward bisexuality.

Originally Posted by metcalfracing

Long answer, dreams are the randomly firing of neurons while you're asleep. Dreaming strange things in no way reflects upon you as a person.

I wouldn't necessarily say that. Though the interpretations are widely speculative, there is often a lot of truth in dream material. It may not be overt, or literal, but there is often some degree in 'truth by association' that comes along with our dream content.

No, this doesn't make you a lesbian. this makes you a sexual person, an experimental person - Basically a human being. In our dreams we are free from the chains of what society will lable us, we can do things we cannot in our physical body - such as fly and also have a sexual encounter with someone of our own sex. Our sex drives are driven by a rush of chemicals, endorphins and hormones you simply satisfied what your body was craving through your dream. I'm a completely strait female and occassionaly I have dreams of encounters with other wemon - it's not real, and I wouldn't do it in real life - but am I going to feel bad about a dream? No way, I dream lucidly everynight and even though i'm in control that doesn't make me a lesbian if I have an encounter with a woman - it makes me a human being. Your just fine.

Originally Posted by Dreaming Naturally

This post may be in the wrong place, but I didn't know where else to put it. If I had lucid sex with a girl, does that make me a lesbian or bisexual? I have only had relationships with men in real life. It sort of disturbs me because this has happened to me on a number of occasions.

I have heard that when you dream of having sex with the same sex and you are not truely that way... that you feel a loss of relationship with a female or that you are being troubled from a lost feeling that your mother has not fufilled for you. You may want a female friendship and do not have a close bond with anyone that you truely can connect to. Not in a lesbian way at all, just a closeness that you need in your life right now.

Originally Posted by Dreaming Naturally

This post may be in the wrong place, but I didn't know where else to put it. If I had lucid sex with a girl, does that make me a lesbian or bisexual? I have only had relationships with men in real life. It sort of disturbs me because this has happened to me on a number of occasions.

Not in the least bit! I once had a dream I was having sex with a man (a co-worker of all things). I am DEFINITELY heterosexual! So much so, that I would have LOVED to watch your dream!!! Seriously! Anyway, my dream wasn't lucid, whereas you said yours was. Remember that lucidity does NOT mean control! A person can have a LD and have absolutely no control whatsoever. Control is simply the next step (although I wonder if control can be achieved without lucidity...probably not).

One more thing to remember...our DC's are almost 100% of the time not representatives of the actual person they depict. Having sex with this woman probably means your mind was equating some characteristic of woman to a man you love. Just guessing.

Oh, one last thing....dreams of high emotions (e.g. death, hate, excitement, and love (sex)) can leave us very confused and sometime frightened. What you experienced is normal!

P.S. The next time you dream of having sex with another woman, dream me there, okay!

Lol, thank you paradox.

Hey, I had sex with a bookshelf in a dream ON PURPOSE.
Does this make me a bookshelf homo, because I was a bookshelf too?
WAIT THOUGH, does this mean I'm really a bookshelf? Maybe this is something like transsexualism, except I'm really a bookshelf inside a man, or in the literal case of my dream, a bookshelf stacked onto a bookshelf orgasming?!?

You either were lucid and in control, meaning your disturbance by homosexuality is some hypocritical guilty pleasure, OR you weren't really lucid at all, in which some subliminal urge to fuck a woman is so disturbing because part of you says yes and part of you says no, and you love to arm wrestle the right hand with the left.

There's no need to label yourself or anyone else, it just leads to satisfied ignorance in that you pretend to think you know something.
Why not just let it be, instead of caring so much of what is and what isn't, because sexuality is not constant and neither is anything else you can define. You have an underlying desire or repulsion that's causing these homosexual dreams, beyond that no-one knows so no point in asking.

TL;DR - You seem to care because you're disturbed by homosexuality, which is likely also the underlying reason that you're having these dreams. If you fully accept then they don't matter (which they didn't in the first place), so no disturbance.

[insert smiley face]

im gonna say yes. simply cause of the fact that you were concious of your actions. not lesbian though, probly bi. that's my 2 cents.

A lot of people view sexuality on a continuum, with very few people being absolutely gay or straight. This idea has been popularized by Alfred Kinsey, of the famous Kinsey Report.

Sexuality is highly subjective and personal. Don't listen to these people; they're not you so what do they know? If you are a healthy person, your feelings and thoughts about your sexuality will probably change and evolve throughout your life.

Everyone has seen male dogs hump each other...are they gay? I just figure they're dogs who will hump anything. Humans have animal lust that is bridled by social mores. Gay, straight, bi - sex is sex and whatever rules/labels you place on your own sexual behavior are your business. IMO, it's your behavior, not attractions, that really counts. Girls who dream about sex with girls, but only ever have sex with guys are effectively straight. But don't live your life by my or anyone else's opinion.

Bottom line, what you do in your dreams doesn't have to have any bearing on your real life, unless you decide it has.

Like others have agreed.. I think consciously having sex with a woman in lucid dreams at least means that you are probably Bi-Curious or Bisexual. I guess I would fall under the Bisexual category.. But I myself, hate labels.
I'd listen to what Oneironaut has to say- He seems to be pretty on target with his answers.

But if you are Bisexual, I don't think you should be worried or scared at all! It's more widely accepted now than it was before.. Just, embrace it in which ever way is comfortable with you. Whether you choose to take dating a woman outside of the dream world is your choice, obviously.. But I really don't think there is as much as a social stigma on it as before.
You should watch The L Word. As lame as that sounds for me to suggest that, it's a good show as far as showing your normal, every day couples.. But all of the couples are lesbians. It's actually like watching any straight show on TV, except for the fact that they are lesbians. My straight friend actually watches it, and she was the one who told me about it.

Anyway, the reason I suggested that, is because it may help your insecurities, as you seem to be facing some. =]

I would say no, since what happens in dreams can be different and have different meaning from real life. You're never 100% lucid. It's certainly not an indicator of your sexual orientation.