Thread: Does this make me a lesbian?

well since it was lucid, so you had control, so you must have wanted to do this, then i guess it makes you a lesbian. infact, even if it was a normal dream, then the message that dream would have is that you are a lesbian.

conclusion: you are a lesbian/bisexual

Unless it was free will.

Gay men have wet dreams about women.
Straight men can have wet dreams about men.

Just think about it.

What makes you think that having a sexual experience with or without free will with a girl makes you a lesbian/bisexual anyway?

If I wanted to, I could have sex with just about anyone or anything in my dreams.

Nah, JK.

No, but it perhaps makes you bi/curious. Nobody can really answer that off of the single situation alone. What do you think about females? Would you be curious to find out what it's like to have sex with one (as evidenced by your choosing to do it in a lucid dream), or do you find absolutely no sense of attraction to them at all?

Not that it's anything you should be afraid of but, if you find yourself attracted enough to the opposite sex to choose to have sex with them in your lucids, there is a very good chance you are bisexual.

Originally Posted by Oneironaut

No, but it perhaps makes you bi/curious. Nobody can really answer that off of the single situation alone. What do you think about females? Would you be curious to find out what it's like to have sex with one (as evidenced by your choosing to do it in a lucid dream), or do you find absolutely no sense of attraction to them at all?

Not that it's anything you should be afraid of but, if you find yourself attracted enough to the opposite sex to choose to have sex with them in your lucids, there is a very good chance you are bisexual.

I'm not sure what to think, to be completely honest with you. Like I said, all of my relationships have been with men. I think women can be very attractive. I've even had women hit on me before but I always shrugged them off because it seemed like it should be inappropriate. I suppose that I have been curious before but I've never had any real intent to have a relationship with a girl. Oh and by the way, every time I have had dream sex with a girl, it was before I became lucid. In fact, I have used it as a dream sign to become lucid before. I have continued to have sex with my dream girl while lucid before. And sometimes I move on and try to do other dream activities like flying, searching for my dreamguide, etc.

Short answer, no.

Long answer, dreams are the randomly firing of neurons while you're asleep. Dreaming strange things in no way reflects upon you as a person.

However, thats not to say that you personally aren't bicurious... and that's something that we can't really help you with. The only real way to know is through some good ol' fashioned introspection.

Edit: .. and also at least you're lucid dreaming X)

Originally Posted by Dreaming Naturally

I think women can be very attractive. I've even had women hit on me before but I always shrugged them off because it seemed like it should be inappropriate. I suppose that I have been curious before but I've never had any real intent to have a relationship with a girl.

That, to me, sounds like you might be bisexual. If you feel an attraction to women, and don't act on it simply because you feel it might be "inappropriate" (which is usually do to pressure that you feel from society imposing its view of what is 'normal and accepted'), then - at the core - you're probably bisexual by nature.

Think about it this way: If waking life was more like the dream world (and you didn't have to face any of the adversity you might face if you acted on your attraction to woman - having sex with one here and there, for whatever reason) would you stick to only men? Even if it didn't have to go so far as a 'relationship,' and it was purely being 'friends with benefits,' would you have any problem messing around with a girl?

If not, then that's pretty straight-forward bisexuality.

Originally Posted by metcalfracing

Long answer, dreams are the randomly firing of neurons while you're asleep. Dreaming strange things in no way reflects upon you as a person.

I wouldn't necessarily say that. Though the interpretations are widely speculative, there is often a lot of truth in dream material. It may not be overt, or literal, but there is often some degree in 'truth by association' that comes along with our dream content.

some people say that dreams convey a message to you (normal dreams), and seeing as you actually had the sex in the normal dream, then the message could be that you are bi. but i dont know much about interpreting dreams, so you should puta thread in the dream interpretations section. you will get a good answer there.

but if you dont really believe in that stuff, then i can tell you that you are at least bi curious, as these guys above me have said.

[QUOTE=Oneironaut;986974]

Think about it this way: If waking life was more like the dream world (and you didn't have to face any of the adversity you might face if you acted on your attraction to woman - having sex with one here and there, for whatever reason) would you stick to only men? Even if it didn't have to go so far as a 'relationship,' and it was purely being 'friends with benefits,' would you have any problem messing around with a girl?

If not, then that's pretty straight-forward bisexuality.


That is an interesting way of putting it. I've never thought about it like that before. If I didn't have to "face the adversity" I would feel more comfortable with the idea of being intimate with a girl.

I have tried to figure out what I really am. I have even tried to ask my subconsious if I am bisexual while lucid. I have tried asking DC's and asking a mirror. Nobody ever gives me a straight answer. I probably shouldn't have said lesbian in my question because I know that I am attracted to men.

Originally Posted by Dreaming Naturally

That is an interesting way of putting it. I've never thought about it like that before. If I didn't have to "face the adversity" I would feel more comfortable with the idea of being intimate with a girl.

I have tried to figure out what I really am. I have even tried to ask my subconsious if I am bisexual while lucid. I have tried asking DC's and asking a mirror. Nobody ever gives me a straight answer. I probably shouldn't have said lesbian in my question because I know that I am attracted to men.

Yeah, it seems like your biggest problem is not really in finding out what you are, but in trying to label yourself when it seems like you might already have a "negative vibe" about being attracted to the same sex. If you find yourself sexually attracted to women (and I don't blame you ) then it's nothing to be ashamed of. From the way it sounds, you are very open to the idea, and that is pretty much enough to classify you as bisexual. Your dreams have merely been a reflection of that openness.

Hmm, the way I see it is that in the end, your dreams have much less to do with this. This is more of a waking question. I mean, everyone has had strange things happen to them in dreams. Hell, I've had dreams in which I turn into a girl, but that doesn't mean I'm trans-sexual. I think part of dreams, especially lucid dreams, is trying out things you haven't done or can't do in real life. And that is just one of those things.

Now that you are awake, you can look at this question by simply thinking. The reason no one in your dreams has told you the answer is because since you don't know yet, they don't know yet, because they are part of your mind. Now like Onei said, you seem to be at least bi-curious, but that doesn't really mean much. I'm sure it's very common. In your case, in the end, you are what you want to be.

No, this doesn't make you a lesbian. this makes you a sexual person, an experimental person - Basically a human being. In our dreams we are free from the chains of what society will lable us, we can do things we cannot in our physical body - such as fly and also have a sexual encounter with someone of our own sex. Our sex drives are driven by a rush of chemicals, endorphins and hormones you simply satisfied what your body was craving through your dream. I'm a completely strait female and occassionaly I have dreams of encounters with other wemon - it's not real, and I wouldn't do it in real life - but am I going to feel bad about a dream? No way, I dream lucidly everynight and even though i'm in control that doesn't make me a lesbian if I have an encounter with a woman - it makes me a human being. Your just fine.

How often do you dream about having sex with men, in comparison? While in the dream, how do you feel while having sex with the women?

Why would you question your sexuality? If you like men you are straight. If you like women you are lesbian!. It isn't that complicated. Don't let a dream make you question yourself, its nothing more than a dream. And no that doesnt mean your a lesbian. But good luck with the lucid dreaming.

Originally Posted by Elwood

Sorry im just a little upset with the uber n00bs

Well you need to control that. People ask questions here to get answers - not to get ridiculed for not knowing the answer you think is correct. If you can't opine on the question, without being an ass about it, you don't need to speak.

Do you even agree with me a little bit Oneironaut?

Originally Posted by Elwood

Do you even agree with me a little bit Oneironaut?

Not quite to the degree of certainty that you obviously have. People question their likes/dislikes all the time. Some people subconsciously like things that they aren't aware of consciously, and subconsciously dislike things that they are consciously questionable about. Just because a dream is "not real" doesn't mean it doesn't have any basis in truth. Does dreaming about being with the same sex make you gay? No. Does it open the possibility that you might be curious and might enjoy a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex. Yes. I think the meanings behind dreams are different from person to person and dream to dream. And, with people not quite being able to quantify exactly how much truth a dream might hold, it's not for anyone else, really, to say whether there was or wasn't any truth behind it.

I'm willing to bet you've probably had many dreams with content that was more real than you were willing to take into account, if you truly hold the belief that all dreams are "not real" (implying that the emotions portrayed and invoked by any specific dreams are invalid).

I like how some people actually believed that the question had a clear cut answer.

I don't think that this makes you lesbian/bisexual or even "curious". Trying to draw a conclusion about your sexuality based on any number of dreams really doesn't make any sense. If you like men, you like men. A dream might change your mind once you have the dream, and it might make you want to try new things, but think of it like this:

I've had many dreams in the past about beating the shit out of people. Does that mean I like doing it in real life? No, I don't. Nor would I, and I never have. I hope it never comes to that.

Don't let the randomness of a dream choose for you what you are. YOU know what you like and don't like.

Originally Posted by Advantageous Noodle

I've had many dreams in the past about beating the shit out of people. Does that mean I like doing it in real life? No, I don't. Nor would I, and I never have. I hope it never comes to that.

It doesn't mean that you like doing it in real life. But, it might imply that - if you wouldn't have the restraint of a logical, waking-world mind constantly feeding you with awareness of the consequences if you actually beat the shit out of people for what you believed is something they deserved to get beat down for - you would feel justified in doing it.

To bring that to light is to merely acknowledge the possible implication - not to say that having the dream actually means it.

Originally Posted by Oneironaut

Not quite to the degree of certainty that you obviously have. People question their likes/dislikes all the time. Some people subconsciously like things that they aren't aware of consciously, and subconsciously dislike things that they are consciously questionable about. Just because a dream is "not real" doesn't mean it doesn't have any basis in truth. Does dreaming about being with the same sex make you gay? No. Does it open the possibility that you might be curious and might enjoy a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex. Yes. I think the meanings behind dreams are different from person to person and dream to dream. And, with people not quite being able to quantify exactly how much truth a dream might hold, it's not for anyone else, really, to say whether there was or wasn't any truth behind it.

I'm willing to bet you've probably had many dreams with content that was more real than you were willing to take into account, if you truly hold the belief that all dreams are "not real" (implying that the emotions portrayed and invoked by any specific dreams are invalid).

Do I believe that dreams hold meanings that are true? Yes, I do. And I also realize that dreams give us a hotline to who we are. But questioning your sexuality shouldn't be done from the dream world. And I wouldnt question my sexuality from the dream world.

Originally Posted by Elwood

Do I believe that dreams hold meanings that are true? Yes, I do. And I also realize that dreams give us a hotline to who we are. But questioning your sexuality shouldn't be done from the dream world. And I wouldnt question my sexuality from the dream world.

This is actually a contradiction. At first you say that you believe dreams hold meanings that are true, and that they also give us a hotline into who we are, but, on the subject of sexuality, you choose to completely ignore them? That doesn't quite make sense to me.

A dream is not going to tell you what your sexuality is. It will, however, offer you the opportunity to gauge what your emotions are to a particular event, and help you gain some perspective as to what might be implied about your feelings on something. Just as the OP stated, her aversion to sex with females has more to do with societal norms than anything else, meaning that the dreams are most likely implications of bisexuality than just "chance encounters in a dream." If she said she was completely unattracted to females in waking life, I would be less inclined to draw that conclusion, but she pretty much gave it credence, herself.

Thanks everyone so much for your posts! And thank you, Oneironaut for standing up for me. Elwood, I do sense some hostility towards me in some of your posts. One of your main concerns is that I am letting dreams change the way I view my sexuality. Looking back at my original post, I can see why you felt that way. However, that is not entirely the case. I will admit that I have had thought about women during my waking life before. Of course, I never had any intention of acting on these thoughts. I'm not even sure what came first... the thoughts or the dreams. But I digress. I will agree with you in that I should have elaborated more in my original post. If I had known how popular this topic was going to be, I would have been more specific. My original intent with this post was to gather different opinions about a situation that was confusing to me. Most of the replies that I have received were exactly what I was looking for and I appreciate them very much.

Elwood, I'm not sure how long I have to stick around to not be an "uber n00b" anymore. I did search this topic before posting but I couldn't find anything that was specific enough for me. I have been a member of this site for about 8 months. I've been having lucid dreams since I was 7. And I'm 27 now. It may have annoyed you, but I don't regret this post.

You're not a lesbian, don't worry.

My cousin had a dream about the guy that plays House, and he's so straight that every time he trips, he lands in a vagina.

No hostility, but honestly, either your gay or straight, clean and dry. Also im sorry for being an asshat. And to Oneironaut, there are somethings that are different, for instance sexuality.

why label yourself anyway? What's th significance? How does labeling your sexuality benefit you in any way?


You're attracted to who you're attracted to.

Your dream simply mean you like to have sex with women in dreams.

Don't feel the need to conform and label yourself just because society wants you to. fuck 'em.