Guess I'm back... again

[Singularity125]

Well, I've been visiting this forum sporadically for a few years now, and it's been quite a while since the last time I've bothered to really visit or post. But, ever since the college semester started up a couple weeks ago, I haven't really been able to sleep that well, and my dream recall is... relatively vivid, I suppose. Better than usual, anyways. I'm not sure what it means or why I can't sleep well, but I suppose it might be time to start paying attention to my dreams again. There's always that off chance that my dreams are trying to TELL me something, but I'm too thick-headed to actually get it. Anyways... I'm here. College is extra busy this time around (Junior year) so who knows how often I'll actually have time for this, but it's worth a shot, right?

[Philosopher8659]

I remember my attempt at college. Guilt. Long before college, it was discovered that I had a very high IQ. I could see the mistakes in the school texts, one after another. I had set my mind early on to discover certain things, however, if I went to college, i would have to learn by rote--learn to repeat contradictions and non-sense. i tried, did quite well, won a couple writing awords, but I had to leave, could not put up with the guilt of conforming to what I could plainly see were gross errors. Then one gets the guilt of not going--and it lingers. However, I came to understand what I set out to do, and it don't matter much now anyway. I would rather people think I am odd, or crazy, than to have lived a life of repeating non-sense. If you want to learn the language of the dream, you have to start with very specific questions. Then you have to learn to say what you see--not with just your eyes, but by abstracting the notion, the idea. The visual metaphor contains a great deal of information, it is a high level langauge. Visual metaphor, used in dreams, is actually the foundation of all language. Plato tried to teach about language in his dialogs. One of the first questions you should ask is "What are Lucid Dreams good for?" That should give you an idea that there is or is not a purpose for them. I once asked that question, and got this reply. I was standing next to the white house, and in front of me was a sign, "Express C.M." The white house is the seat of government. Since dreams refer to the self, it meant seat of judgment. Express C.M. was written in English, so, I was to express C.M. in English--common grammar. C.M. are intials. Many different name constructions have the same initials. I.e. C.M. determines class membership. I.e. definition is the method by which judgment is determined. Even down to the simple sentence. After years of study, I have worked out a great deal. Enough to change ideas around the world--if I ever get something written. Just the simplicity of determining that Euclidean Geometry is the truest form of Geometry, and only needs one correction, takes down even Einstein--all science and theory based on non-Euclidean Geometry---this is simply because man does not yet know the foundation of grammar. When he does learn, then Predication is the inverse function of abstraction may just become a slogan for truth. Where else does one find the claim that lucid dreaming is for the purpose of teaching man judgment? The Judeo-Christian Scripture which is also said to be sealed to man's understanding until someone brings a key to loosen those seals. It is not magic, it is just that if one does not think using principles of judgment, they cannot comprehend a text that uses them. So, here I am, the nut case. Saying what has never before been said, instead of going to college and spending my life repeating what is politically correct and making money at it. oh well.

[Singularity125]

...wow. I did not expect such a serious, thought-provoking reply. I suppose I owe you the favor of a serious response back. I can see some similarities between us, really. I also have a high IQ, and I'm a pretty good learner if I do say so myself, though it seems in slightly different ways. My mind has always been a trap for facts and random trivia, and I never really need to study before a test. If I see the question there on the page, the answer usually comes to mind right away. However, I cannot say I share your knack for critical thinking or creativity. I am a veritable sponge for information, but it's kind of rare for me to critically analyze it. Certainly, I have yet to see major flaws in what I am being taught. On the other hand, I'm not in college to learn some great truths or anything, either. Truthfully, I'm in college to learn how to make video games. What can I say, I want a job that's at least somewhat fun for me. I am taking a minor in Psychology though, and while I'm not happy with the material being taught there, I have a hard time articulating why. Mostly, I suppose, I want to see a more holistic approach. Putting things back together rather than tearing human nature down into little, mechanistic components. I truly believe we are much more than machines. Now, I suppose I ought to give a little more background about myself. On the surface, I am your stereotypical gamer and geek. My dreams involve video games more often than not, and there may be a lot of references (memes, mostly) that most people wouldn't get. I am so much more than that though, I think. I'm still struggling through the phase of trying to understand myself, so I hardly expect others to truly understand me. Suffice to say that I often swing between two extremes of the pendulum, on a lot of things. I go through periods of apathy, followed by periods of wanting to improve everything about myself at once. Of course, this ends up being very frustrating. I seem to be full of contradictions, sometimes. I can be impatient with myself, yet indecisive and afraid to make mistakes. I am usually very caring about friends, yet have periods where I just need to get away from everyone. I inherently distrust government and big business, but I'm also very naive and easily fooled. I could go on, but I won't. I can best sum up my personality by saying that I have a couple friends who happen to be furries. One of these friends, when I first spoke with her, insisted I would be a Coyote. I didn't know why, but I went along with it. Later I looked it up and the Coyote spirit, totem, personality, what have you, resonates with me. For the two-legged beside whom Coyote walks, there will be an aspect of their personality that is deeply playful and mischievious, yet they are equally capable of deep contemplation and introspection. Though this may at first appear to be a great contradiction, such dichotomy is all a part of the paradoxical Medicine of the Trickster that is both the Wise Sage and the hapless Fool. Coyote souls will most often learn their lessons the hard way as they go through the Earthwalk trusting those who are incapable (or unwilling) to be worthy of such innocent trust. Such faith in Others is beautiful in its simplicity and genuiness, yet ultimately it brings to Soul of Masleca, lessons in discernment. I am never quite sure what I want out of life. It was video games for the longest time, but I believe I mostly want to learn. The spiritual and paranormal have always interested me, especially since I started college. Once I got to college, you see, I got to meet a couple friends who have had some very fascinating tales to tell along those lines. I'm the type that cannot fully believe without some personal experience, however, and the fact that lucid dreams are the most experience I've had tends to leave me a little frustrated. The motto I've adapted for myself lately is, "Always wondering, always wandering." I never want to stop learning and seeing what's out there, especially in the spiritual or astral realms. The day that I stop learning is the day I die. This is why lucid dreaming calls to me. It's something that is actually within my capabilities, but seems to have the potential to be a gateway to so much more. All I need is some patience, and the skill to develop so I can start having them more consistently. Anyways... this post is way too long as it is, and I'm not really sure why I'm throwing this all out here. It seems like the right thing to do. ...perhaps it is fate. In any case, thanks to anyone that actually bothers reading this whole thing. I really do appreciate your philosophy, uh... Philosopher. Maybe we can talk some more, some time.

[dakotahnok]

I remember my attempt at college. Guilt. Long before college, it was discovered that I had a very high IQ. I could see the mistakes in the school texts, one after another. I had set my mind early on to discover certain things, however, if I went to college, i would have to learn by rote--learn to repeat contradictions and non-sense. i tried, did quite well, won a couple writing awords, but I had to leave, could not put up with the guilt of conforming to what I could plainly see were gross errors. Then one gets the guilt of not going--and it lingers. However, I came to understand what I set out to do, and it don't matter much now anyway. I would rather people think I am odd, or crazy, than to have lived a life of repeating non-sense. If you want to learn the language of the dream, you have to start with very specific questions. Then you have to learn to say what you see--not with just your eyes, but by abstracting the notion, the idea. The visual metaphor contains a great deal of information, it is a high level langauge. Visual metaphor, used in dreams, is actually the foundation of all language. Plato tried to teach about language in his dialogs. One of the first questions you should ask is "What are Lucid Dreams good for?" That should give you an idea that there is or is not a purpose for them. I once asked that question, and got this reply. I was standing next to the white house, and in front of me was a sign, "Express C.M." The white house is the seat of government. Since dreams refer to the self, it meant seat of judgment. Express C.M. was written in English, so, I was to express C.M. in English--common grammar. C.M. are intials. Many different name constructions have the same initials. I.e. C.M. determines class membership. I.e. definition is the method by which judgment is determined. Even down to the simple sentence. After years of study, I have worked out a great deal. Enough to change ideas around the world--if I ever get something written. Just the simplicity of determining that Euclidean Geometry is the truest form of Geometry, and only needs one correction, takes down even Einstein--all science and theory based on non-Euclidean Geometry---this is simply because man does not yet know the foundation of grammar. When he does learn, then Predication is the inverse function of abstraction may just become a slogan for truth. Where else does one find the claim that lucid dreaming is for the purpose of teaching man judgment? The Judeo-Christian Scripture which is also said to be sealed to man's understanding until someone brings a key to loosen those seals. It is not magic, it is just that if one does not think using principles of judgment, they cannot comprehend a text that uses them. So, here I am, the nut case. Saying what has never before been said, instead of going to college and spending my life repeating what is politically correct and making money at it. oh well . i like how you always take your time to answer peoples post in a really indepth idea. Your great help and very intresting (the both of you) not that you need my aproval Anyway thank you for contributing so much!

[Singularity125]

. i like how you always take your time to answer peoples post in a really indepth idea. Your great help and very intresting (the both of you) not that you need my aproval Anyway thank you for contributing so much! Haha, I wish I had more time to contribute. I'm a lurker more than anything. It's just a shame the forums I'm most interested in (Beyond Dreaming, Inner Sanctum) aren't very active. And as I mentioned, I don't have any personal experience to go on... Still, you're welcome.

[Philosopher8659]

I post on the Internet archive. I have so much in the works, so many ideas and things to do, however, being a full time single parent, full time job, having everything I earn taken by the government, well, no time and loneliness slow me down. I will manage, even if slowly. I post here on a company stand up computer. Today, doing the last machining operation on 6 Lt. blocks. I have the highest tolerances to maintain of any operation. + - 9 microns. When I was in diapers, before I could speak english, I had a revelation. I knew that there was a right and wrong about everything, a right and wrong way to be--and the most amazing thing about that idea was that my diaper was dry. (and please, don't kill a joke by asking what I mean.) When it was discovered that I was not mentally retarded, but in fact quite the reverse, it was said that i could be anything I wanted to be, but it became important to me to learn what others cared least about, how do we know what we think is true or not? Right or wrong? Knowing this is the only way one can know if their life had any real meaning or not. Anyway, life is an adventure. Each is different. But I think the best is always having something one wants to get done.

[Singularity125]

So, you're saying you like to examine the often-ignored assumptions people have? Those unwritten customs and biases towards what is right or wrong, true or false? That thinking you are right is very different than KNOWING you are right? I would have to agree. I admit though, it is rare for me to have a moment of knowing. I am, as I said, always wondering, and I'm always indecisive on these sorts of things. I'm afraid of making a "wrong" decision you see, even though that's how people learn. I hate to make mistakes. I need to embrace that concept of life as an adventure, and be more daring. More willing to make mistakes. I like the way you think.

[Philosopher8659]

So, you're saying you like to examine the often-ignored assumptions people have? Those unwritten customs and biases towards what is right or wrong, true or false? That thinking you are right is very different than KNOWING you are right? I would have to agree. I admit though, it is rare for me to have a moment of knowing. I am, as I said, always wondering, and I'm always indecisive on these sorts of things. I'm afraid of making a "wrong" decision you see, even though that's how people learn. I hate to make mistakes. I need to embrace that concept of life as an adventure, and be more daring. More willing to make mistakes. I like the way you think. The human mind is evolving, going from a time where memory dominated to a time when one day rationality will. We all look the same on the outside, but even psych books tell you that the very smart think differently, process information differently. Plato tried to get his readers to abstract it, however, the words cannot change the structure of a mind. That is why most people can only demonstrate memory abilities but still only parrot. They may be clever, but never understand the nonsense the think. They cannot think in accordance with principles. Cannot blame them, it is just what they are. The problem has always been those few who will not, can not parrot, but actually seek to live by principles. Always too few to survive.

[Singularity125]

Ah, I think I see what you're getting at. There's a big difference between learning something, and truly believing and living it, right? I know what you mean, then, and I think I fall victim to this. I've read many different philosophies and life perspectives, for example. And while they were all very "interesting", none of them really penetrated to my core and changed me. I have indeed absorbed, and can parrot, the information, but it doesn't affect me on a deep level. I would like to say I have principles though, even if they are simplistic. I have always worked for happiness, and honesty. To help my friends whenever I can and ease their burden. I feel like this is a reasonably noble cause, but I know I still have so much to learn about the world, and about myself. I just need to be more patient with myself, and open myself to that learning. Otherwise I give up before I successfully change a habit, or whatever I want to change or improve about myself.