can we elude the past?

**mongrel** · 02-03-2012 09:41 PM

hello all, a very intriguing website i don't ever remember my dreams but would like to. however, i do know what i've been dreaming about because the following day my thoughts are dominated by past occurences that trouble me.
i keep unintentionally reminding myself (eeek!) about what happened when i was a kid... late at night hiding in the bushes near my home to escape my fathers brutality. bloodied nose, beaten and crying, scared shitless. these things come to me in the daytime waking, but i know even though i don't recall they're in my dreams too.
i am a 54 y.o. man now but still haunted by the past.
cripes! i really think that if i could confront these horrors in my dreams i might "get over it"
my regards, glenn

**Porridge** · 02-03-2012 11:04 PM

Hello!

First of all, welcome to Dreamviews!
It's not easy to get over traumatic experiences that happened to one in the past, especially the ones that occurred during childhood.

I'm not sure if confronting your past in your dreams would help you. I think that it’s worth the try, although you’d have to keep in mind that if you will be trying to remember your dreams more clearly your dreams will too feel more vivid which, in your case, could make them highly unpleasant and could also leave you thinking about them even more.

Do you think that it’s the dreams or your past in general that makes you think about your past? If it’s your past in general, I think that consulting a psychologist might too be an appropriate option for you to consider.

Good luck! (:

**Merck** · 02-04-2012 03:57 AM

Maybe not elude, but perhaps healthy integration of the experience can be achieved.

**OpheliaBlue** · 02-04-2012 06:48 AM

^^ yes to what Merck said

It's a bit hard to use dreams to work though abusive events from the past. But not impossible. It kinda depends how the dreams go. I used to help a former member here at DV who had severe post traumatic stress from Desert Storm. He had nightmares alot, and even became lucid occasionally. The lucid part is good, but the downside was, even though he was lucid, he had trouble with dream control. So even though he was aware that he was dreaming, it was still an awful experience for him.

To sum up, if you are able to achieve lucidity in your dreams, and can achieve control (ie. confront your abusive father from a position of empowerment in your dream), then I fully encourage your endeavors. But if your dreams make you uncomfortable in ANY way, then I agree with Porridge, and psychological help is your best bet.

Good luck mongrel, and if you need any help in any way, please let one of us here at DV know. I for one would be more than happy to help you find a way to work things out. Dreams have a very unique way of helping us deal with our lives.

**Nhuc** · 02-04-2012 09:50 AM

If you wish to take the short, much harder road, go through your dreams. But like they said above, you need control. You would basicly be confronting headon all those parts of your psyche that your afraid of. A psychologist would be able to work with you a lot more, and although it would be pricier, and take longer, it would take less of a toll on you.

In the end, only we can change our own mind.