Help controlling my dreams

[BenDanner]

More often than not when I realize that I am in a dream, I am in a stressful situation in the dream. Multiple times, upon realizing that I am in a dream, I will yell something like "time freeze" or "time stop". When I do this, everything around me in the dream comes to a halt, but shortly after doing this, my dream comes to an end and I wake up. It's almost like I'm not even in control of the dream, it's like I realize that I am in a dream, and I instinctively want to escape the situation because it is negative. From what I have read on the site, I am becoming too aggressive and I am waking up due to this aggression. How can I avoid this? I would like to be able to control my dreams for longer than this short amount of time, or at least not instinctively want to wake up because the situation is negative or frightening.

[KingYoshi]

Waking up quickly is normal when you first start becoming lucid, especially if nightmares are the reason you are becoming lucid. Experience can go a long way. I suggest once becoming lucid, do not attempt any action and just take a few deep breathes and try to make yourself as calm as possible. Strong emotion of any sort can cause you to wake. Try to keep calm and change your mindset to that of an experienced lucid dreamer. Make yourself believe that it is natural and expect to be able to stay in the lucid just fine. Even if you haven't had that many quality lucids, act like you have. Act as if lucid dreaming is common for you. This should help you get control of the situation. Good Luck!

[Kordan]

If you need help controlling your dreams, check out the "Dream Control" tutorial in the tutorials section. It should help you out!

[Naiya]

Welcome to Dreamviews Ben! There is a very important lesson that all dreamers must learn early on: Being lucid and being able to control the dream are two completely different things. You can have one without the other. Now, of course that doesn't take away from the fact that being lucid gives you the opportunity to control the dream. As Yoshi said, waking up too soon is a normal phase which happens when you're having those first lucid dreams. It's a GOOD thing--it means you have accomplished the hardest step, which is getting lucid in the first place. Making the dreams longer, controlling the dreams and so on are much easier, and will come with practice so just keep at it! And don't forget to congratulate yourself on getting those lucid dreams. For now, my advice is to keep practicing. Maybe try something new besides "time stop!" (Which is a cool idea in itself, but may not necessarily work for you at this time.) To prevent from waking up, maybe try rubbing your hands or touching an object in the dream. If you're anxious that you aren't controlling the dream, keep reminding yourself that this is still your dream, even if you can't control it, and you can wake up at any time if you need to. (Although thinking about waking up might be a bad idea, since doing so can cause you to wake.) There is nothing inherently wrong or scary about a dream that isn't easily controlled, and if there is nothing in particular which is there threatening you, just make it your goal to maybe stay in the dream, have a nice lucid stroll and see how long you can make it last.