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    Thread: 2021 New Year's Resolutions!

    1. #1
      the oneironautilus Achievements:
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      Cool 2021 New Year's Resolutions!

      What did you learn in 2020 and what are you looking forward to in 2021? What are your new year's resolutions? Tips for sticking to those goals beyond January?

      ***

      I can start it off. In 2020 I learned that I need to have more patience with myself when it comes to challenging goals that might not show results right away. I also need to stop self medicating with busy work that temporarily makes me feel like I'm "accomplishing something" but does little to move things forward in the big picture and just ends up wearing me out. For 2021, I'm looking forward to taking the potential of all the exciting ideas I've come up with over the past *cough* several years and making them kinetic!

      My primary resolutions are to grow my business (I'm self employed), take care of my general health, and hone a variety of skills related to music, programming, and language learning.

      My main tip: Break goals into smaller, clearly defined tasks. For 2021 I filled two pages with specific, check-offable tasks because that's a strategy I used back in 2012 - the last time I made a New Year's list - and it really worked! It did take more than a year, but I eventually checked off every task except for a couple that were outside my direct control. At the time I had pretty severe social anxiety, so I took everything I mentally told myself I "couldn't" do and made a simple task out of it. Ex. I felt that I couldn't talk to strangers on the phone, so I made a task "Schedule a doctor or dentist appointment by phone". After checking it off, I could never again tell myself it was something I couldn't do, because I'd done it. This year my focus is more on tasks I've been procrastinating on, but it's the same principle.
      "When you see the shadows falling,
      When you hear that cold wind calling,
      Hold on tight to your dream."
      -ELO

    2. #2
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      This year I learned to deal with a long-standing fear of heights, at least I can deal with it a lot better than before anyway. This year I also learned how to observe better and learned quite a bit about how to learn/teach myself better in regards to creative activities but I think really that it was a synthesis of processes that have been going on for years now.

      Regarding the inner world, I was able to learn more intuitively about communicating between all the parts of the self. Not exclusive to this year, every year I notice more and more how some things I thought were different or distant from each other are actually closer together than I expected and that in many cases people just call things by different names but in reality are discussing something similar.

      As for my 2021 resolutions; keep practising like I have been for almost all of this year and stick to my long-term goals; ideally I'd like to be able to sell more in the coming year but I need to think about how to make that a realistic goal. And I like the specific checkbox tasks idea you have, maybe I would benefit myself doing something like that; I often make note of little things I need or want to do but they often get scattered/aren't in a single place, which probably makes me put things off without meaning to (because I lose literal sight of the goals).

      My tips for everyone else:

      - Firstly, be confident in yourself, because so often people tell me that they can't do X or Y, and the reality is that they can't do it yet, most often because they don't start trying, don't move on from their failures or aren't committing the time to it. In about a year's time I was able to really improve some of my skills by making myself stick to improving them. Some people do have more natural aptitude for certain tasks and they may get better at something a bit faster but they weren't born masters and generally we can all reach the same levels of skill on any given task, it takes varying amounts of time and patience. Some people just started earlier. Incidentally this approach is also what has enabled me to, only recently, overcome fears I've had since I was a child, including that fear of heights.

      - Secondly, everyone has bad days, bad weeks, bad months. This doesn't have to be the killer to motivation. Sometimes it's fine to put things on hold or pause, you can always return to it. This isn't necessarily procrastination or neglect; it may simply be that it's not the right time to be doing something, maybe because other things are taking priority or maybe your life wants different structuring to accommodate for that thing you want to do. I believe this is likely why realistic goals are often important, because they consider what's possible right now, or consider that you might want to make changes in something else first.
      MoonageDaydream and nautilus like this.
      Singled out from some of my favourite quotes from Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri: "Risks of [Planet] flowering: considerable. But rewards of godhood: who can measure? - Usurper Judaa'Maar: Courage: to question."

    3. #3
      Moonage Daydreamer
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      My goals include:

      -buy a house (almost there , working on my non-existent credit)
      -run more (it's been less motivating since races have been "virtual", ugh)
      -read more books (still not making my goodreads goal of 40/year, but then again, that doesn't take into account 45 hour epics )
      -lose 5-10 more pounds (is this ever not a goal?)
      -get all of my songs (original and not) onto bandhug (the new bandhub) and really start participating more on there
      -write more music regardless of criticism (easier said than done, negative feedback really sets me back)
      -learn some new songs
      -find a music group and acquire babysitting
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      In 2020, I learned how to value life, health, family and friends.

      For 2021:
      Save Money or Spend Less
      Learn Something New
      Spend More Time with Family & Friends
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    5. #5
      the oneironautilus Achievements:
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      Awesome goals and lessons everyone


      Quote Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness View Post
      Regarding the inner world, I was able to learn more intuitively about communicating between all the parts of the self. Not exclusive to this year, every year I notice more and more how some things I thought were different or distant from each other are actually closer together than I expected and that in many cases people just call things by different names but in reality are discussing something similar.
      Exactly, isn't that trippy? Those kinds of realizations started hitting me hard the last three or four years, both internally and in the external world. For instance, with language use and the concepts behind them, you can sometimes watch people argue what's essentially the same point but using different enough language or styles of speaking that they don't see it. The inverse happens too sometimes, where two people use the same word to mean different things without noticing, leading to misunderstandings. (I remember reading an article about one of the common ones, which is the way that people use the word "respect". It can either be used to mean basic human decency as in "treat everyone with respect" or to have extra respect for a particular individual due to certain character traits or behaviors.)


      Quote Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness View Post
      Sometimes it's fine to put things on hold or pause, you can always return to it. This isn't necessarily procrastination or neglect; it may simply be that it's not the right time to be doing something, maybe because other things are taking priority or maybe your life wants different structuring to accommodate for that thing you want to do.
      Wow, I needed to hear this. I hadn't thought about it that way before, but yes, looking back now I can think of times I would bang my head against a metaphorical brick wall in one area of my life for what felt like forever, and it wasn't until I focused somewhere else for a while that suddenly the previously stuck area just suddenly took off with ease.


      Quote Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream View Post
      -write more music regardless of criticism (easier said than done, negative feedback really sets me back)
      You write music? That's so cool What style(s)? I've done some composing for fun as well. Yes, the negative feedback can really put a damper on the creative mood, as useful as it might at times be from a practical perspective. I've found it helpful to let compositions sit for a period of time before I share them, kind of like I'm letting them marinate. Then even if someone doesn't like it, it doesn't rattle me the same way as it would when it's fresh and new and wobbly like a newborn deer.
      DarkestDarkness likes this.
      "When you see the shadows falling,
      When you hear that cold wind calling,
      Hold on tight to your dream."
      -ELO

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