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      Heheh, you got it! I'm surprised anyone would actually figure it out!
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    About DarkestDarkness

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    About DarkestDarkness
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    Some years ago after reading about lucid dreaming I looked for communities but never joined any; this was one of those communities that I saw but did not enter.


    Singled out from some of my favourite quotes from Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri: "Risks of [Planet] flowering: considerable. But rewards of godhood: who can measure? - Usurper Judaa'Maar: Courage: to question."


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    by DarkestDarkness on Yesterday at 02:06 PM
    Just one continuous long dream, that I can remember.


    In the earliest part I remember, I was wandering around some city streets. It was dark, but there were street lights, orange/yellow hues. For whatever reason I was about two to three times the normal size and as I turned around a corner I ran into an equally sized character at some sort of dead end. There was a "temporary" concrete wall blocking a street.

    Not sure what the character looked like exactly, but was female and some kind of taur. Part woman, part something else, maybe scorpion or sphynx. I used some kind of metal club, like a baseball bat maybe, and attacked her. As we were fighting, I knocked her away with the bat and she got hurled down an adjacent street. Then something with the dream changes and she's gone. I'm normal sized and in the street where she was hurled into was a car, damaged I think.

    I got some sort of passing thought about how I was dreaming before, when I was bigger and fighting, but this obvious irony was somehow lost on me during this moment. I approached the car and inside I see a man. The car's inner lights make him quite clear but I don't remember what he looked like exactly. Chiseled, but skinny? He is doing some kind of drug or smoking something. Police and paramedics arrive all of a sudden, but nobody tells me to clear out or move away.

    The guy is then dead. I could see him lying back in a weird position, sort of slumped down but contorted between the two front seats of his car. One of the paramedics uses a syringe of some sort, squirting some liquid into the dead guy's nose. It fizzes and bubbles. They conclude from this reaction that he'd used some sort of toxin to kill himself.

    Nearby, from about six or so yards away, a man is taking some photos with a camera. I remember the camera had a band that went around his neck. In that moment I think that he's taking some photos for the local news and he catches me on some of the shots, hoping he'll blur my face. I think of speaking to him but end up walking away, not actually too bothered about it.

    Then at some point, I realised I didn't have my phone anymore. I couldn't feel it on me and I believe I must have left it in the car from before. I realised the police will have the car by now and so I go to a street where the police station is located. It's a plain concrete building with several small alcove-like bits. Each of them is effectively an entrance, with a ladder and some sort of shutter? Or garage door.

    I ring a doorbell thing or buzzer, but an image immediately lights up on a large screen next to the ladder and the buzzer. It looks like a poster but it says on it something like: "We're sorry, we're closed. The police needs rest too." This doesn't bother me, I accept that it makes sense, with only a slight feeling of being annoyed by not having made any progress in finding the phone. I somehow realise that it's 2AM or past that and that they won't be opening for another few hours, at least. I go back to the crime scene with the car hoping to find it there, maybe I'd just left it on the ground.

    Indeed, when I get there, I do find the phone on the floor. I remember walking around the streets for quite a while, I'm not sure how it all fits in terms of timeline but details are too vague now. Then there's some kind of transition? The dream shifts somehow anyway. I'm then in a town or city. Rome, I hear someone or myself saying. It's day time now and I'm walking around sort of in circles on these streets, around a central square area.

    There are people singing and greeting tourists and foreigners. I join up with some group of tourists? We walk up to this little altar thing in the middle of the square. The buildings I can remember around us are short, some might even be ruins. We are at a high point, there are no hills or taller buildings in sight. This altar thing is considered to be a mosque? But it looks more like a right-angled dried up fountain of some sort. I sit there with the group of tourists. I relax for a moment and look around.

    Then randomly, these two black teens walk up to me and throw or spray some green paint at me. I get up and show some sort of indignation at what they did but then end up just ignoring them since I knew they just wanted to provoke. They leave with cheeky smiles on their faces, I feel some sense of amusement myself? Then a man in the group, an older black guy, engages in conversation with me about what just happened. We agree on how people do these provocative things and we talk about something else; meanwhile the dream starts to change around us and sort of becomes like a fancy bar or lodge hall. It's not day time anymore, I remember lights being on in this building.

    At this point my memory of the rest of the dream is very vague since I couldn't manage to make notes of it. I remember being in my parents old room and then something about mom being in bed and giving me and this older guy advice? Some sort of construction modules. I remember words labeled on them. "Industrial (?)", "Research (?)" and other similar things.

    No notes for now.
    non-lucid , dream fragment


    by DarkestDarkness on 02-18-2020 at 03:22 PM
    Yesterday the same as usual lately, wasn't able to make notes in the morning and then forgot too much. Managed to make some notes this morning.


    World of Warcraft dream. I was a dwarf paladin and I remember being teleported to the Scarlet Monastery. I was next to the instance entrance doors and from there I went across the halls, down to the stairs at the other end. I don't remember seeing any scarlet troops.

    I had a two-handed weapon, and directly to my right after coming down from the stairs was the meeting stone (which I think isn't the correct location for it). Across the way, where the meeting stone should probably be was an orc hunter, around level 90, sitting. I don't remember seeing or knowing what my own level was.

    I walked for a bit but then decided to get on a mount. In the dream, I remembered or realised I had just bought the 100% riding skill, and then summoned a worg-looking mount. The worg looked thin and sort of rough, which seemed a bit odd, but I didn't really care at the time.

    Starting to ride away, I could see with my camera rotated that the orc was getting up and then he started using his auto-shot attack. He didn't use any special abilities but each of the arrows was hitting for about 900 damage, which seemed to be about 10% of my health each time. I took about three shots in total, managing to ride away far enough but the last shot had hit me from what I thought was an unreasonable distance in the game, over 90 or so yards.

    I rode the worg through the plagued and sombre woods of Tirisfal and toward the Western Plaguelands. I remember the atmosphere clearly, with its slightly dead blue-green tinge. I remember seeing something in the sky, but not sure if it was the moon or the sun. As I rode the mount through the woods, I went past a ruined human or scarlet tower, but I didn't see any enemies or creatures anywhere.

    When I got to the area of Tirisfal that is closest to the Western Plaguelands, it was more like a volcanic area, more like something I'd expect from Cataclysm than a classic area. At first this bit was sandy with shrubs here and there, somewhat desert-like, but there were burnt trees and courses of lava. I remember it was day time but as I went further into this zone it got darker. It felt like it had been an extremely long ride from Tirisfal and I can't recall all the details of the journey. I do remember a number of different passing thoughts, mostly about potentially being attacked, but very vaguely.

    Going along a road in this zone, I headed towards some tunnel I saw before on my map interface. To the north of the tunnel entrance was a ruined building. It looked like an Alliance fort or barracks, but it was supposed to be a hospital in the dream? Someone, I can't remember who, suggested I go there, but I said I'd already been there or something.

    As I entered the tunnel, which had a car-tunnel feel to it, I noticed another player riding their mount come up behind me. I think it was an undead but he didn't seem hostile and he had this orange hat that I remember from early quests in TBC. He had a strange blue mount that I can't really remember very well. I checked my character panel and it said my mount speed was 140% with all my bonuses, but this guy still managed to slightly faster, probably at about 160%. He overtook me and eventually I lost sight of him.

    On the other side of the tunnel I explored a little rock island surrounded by lava courses and I heard the distinct sound of a character in stealth nearby. I dismounted and tried to find the player; it was a tauren druid prowling in cat form. I attacked and used kidney shot, a rogue ability; and before the stun ended, I used a cat form ability too and used a different stun, not really giving the druid a chance to fight back. He took a ton of damage, or what felt like it but eventually died. Oddly enough, the form effect should have ended for him at that point, but didn't, so the corpse looked like the cat form and not the tauren form. I realised while attacking that he was level 137 or something, which then made me realise I was 19 levels below that, and that was why it took so long to kill him.

    Other stuff happened, not sure what. I think I used some other druid forms but the next thing I remember I'm at my old home, as "myself", in the downstairs part. Mom and other people are there, but I'm not sure who. There was this man with no top on, a dream character and I think he was injured? This part of the dream went on for a while but I've forgotten most of the details.

    Dream Fragment:

    Something about power going off, but in a weird way, where only a few things went off. I think I was in the kitchen?

    - In the dream, my character level didnít seem to be well defined but the mixed usage of abilities could have been a clear dream sign, as well as the dream-created volcanic landscapes.

    - Like with my other dreams that involve old known locations, this was also one of those dreams where the dream mind is starting to take more liberties with how the places look. This is interesting because recently I was thinking that the reason those old places were being so altered in dreams was a result of not visiting them for a long time, but I have played WoW recently enough that this theory doesnít really seem to make as much sense anymore.

    - Plenty of somewhat obvious dream signs in the last few months, but not being obvious enough for me to pick up on them yet I guess. But that and some other general things about dreams through these last few months have been giving me a sense that something is progressing in a positive way.

    - The topless and injured man may have simply been a figment brought about by a show I watched for the first time the previous night, but his presence really was completely out of place in that dream, there was nothing else to tie the two contexts together.

    - Iím remembering now that in that part of the dream it was a bright morning daytime, though only a small bit of it came through into the living room, where I was.

    - The WoW dream was typical for a game dream, I didnít have the sense of sitting at a desk or anything, just completely existing in the game, even despite the use of third person camera. In a way this is not too different from how I feel when playing games Iím immersed in anyway; usually it just feels like an extension of self, more than anything else. But it does make me feel that Iím almost too used to the sense of altered reality, which is maybe why I normally donít pick up on dream signs that when Iím awake I consider to be pretty obvious.

    Updated Yesterday at 12:35 AM by DarkestDarkness

    non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes


    by DarkestDarkness on 02-16-2020 at 02:09 PM
    Not been able to keep recall very well or make notes in the morning for the last few days because of pain issues.

    Dream Fragment:

    I was at some sort of zen gathering, for a dream-imagined relative. She was going to have this ceremony that was supposed to strengthen the bond between her and this baby brother of hers or something.

    I remember the area was on a green and grassy rolling hill. It had a fair bit of an angle on it. There were some small trees, not much bigger than a person and there were some sort of carpets or rugs laid out in a few places.

    It was night time? But it was bright, I think from a full moon. I remember looking at the sky and seeing it in the night and then lower to the right I saw a tower. It looked like a Japanese hill castle tower.

    There were some people up there on its walls, some kind of avians, like from Starbound.

    Next thing I remember, Iím up there and planning a sneak attack with some other people against the avians to take some treasure they had up there.

    Transition? Maybe a different dream but it felt to be in sequence and similar context.

    I remember L and his childhood friend J. We were walking around a lower area, possibly next to that hill from before. It was night. We came up to some metal grated stone structure. Beyond the metal bars I could see a wooden treasure chest and a tunnel that led into that area.

    I looked to the left and saw another similar stone structure, also with metal bars but not all along itís opening. There were two minotaurs in there and I attacked them but I donít remember how I dealt with them exactly.

    The rest of the details are missing but I vaguely remember being in a 3 seat van with J and L at some point.

    Dream Fragment:

    I was using my tablet. I was painting, trying to replicate an effect I saw in waking life of a painting that was just in the background of a tv show.

    I was trying to paint waves in the water in the same detailed way as that painting. It wasnít going very well though and even in the dream I realised I was going about it the wrong way.

    No notes for now, might edit later.
    non-lucid , dream fragment


    by DarkestDarkness on 02-14-2020 at 12:32 PM
    Some fragments. Recall seemed better for the second and third dreams on waking up.

    Dream Fragment:

    I was in the kitchen. It was a bit dark but not night time. Like very early morning just after sun rise, and with the blinds rolled down. I remember standing by the fridge, naked I think? I remember seeing my feet and legs. For some reason, I could hear in my head what I thought at the time to be a theme song for the TV show called Roswell, a show I never watched myself, but I know of it. I don't actually remember what that music sounded like but it seemed familiar in the dream, in a way that makes me think that it had nothing to do with that show, but I'll have to try and find it after writing this DJ.

    Wedged between the fridge and the counter it is adjacent to, I remember noticing one of the wooden grave markers H's dad was working on yesterday when we went there. The cross was upside down and it looked like we had just shoved it in there in a hurry to make some room in the kitchen. The fridge is a fridge on top and freezer on the bottom and I remember seeing the logo somewhat distinctly in the dream.

    No idea how this dream went on or ended.

    Dream Fragment:

    I was entering some sort of supermarket, it felt like it was underground. There were quite a few people here, seemed like a popular place. Looked a bit like the cheap supermarket I go to but for whatever reason my old friend from university, R, was walking along with me. We both had a trolley.

    I was very confused by the layout, first there were mostly energy drinks and then soft drinks. I think I commented on them being crap but I also felt hungry more than anything else. We continued on and eventually we got to a very odd bit, where I had to watch what other people were doing to understand. There was like a sort of circular checkpoint thing that we had to go into in queues. I grabbed some big and fresh looking pears I spotted to my right, and apparently some bananas too. I knew immediately the pears would be sweet, as I prefer them, and not at all wooden. There were some fake metal barriers to enforce queues.

    I got to the centre of this checkpoint thing. There was a woman on a swivel chair? She was wearing a cap but had curled hair tucked into it or something. She was in the middle of this four-section rounded island with shop scanner things on each of the four sections. I remember giving her the fruits or placing them down on the metal/glass surface.

    She scanned the fruit somehow and I continued off away from the checkpoint thing.

    Dream Fragment:

    Some kind of mix of GTA and other games like Deus Ex. I remember being on a completely unknown city and having a map divided into levels, like there used to be in Zelda's dungeons. 1F,2F, etc.

    There were some ghoul like enemies at some point and a UDamage pickup, which when I tried getting, some quick imp or rat thing got it and scurried off.

    I remember being on some sort of snow bike and using a turbo mode that activated an orange energy saw and killing some of these ghouls. This was an enclosed area, with many narrow paths and with an underground feel to it. At the end of it I found a portal marked by an inverse encircled pentagram, which was a path to hell. I decided to not go through yet but would come back to it when I felt stronger.

    Then I was outside and it was night time. Everything was brightly lit. I remember fighting some guys at a bridge over a wide channel of water that looked like it had very strong currents, as it was quite foamy and uneven.

    Much earlier in the dream there was an area of sort of open field but I don't really remember any details. Too tired to write much more.

    - I'm not entirely sure what prompted the appearance of both the cross and the pentagram (both inverted) in two separate dreams, but yesterday H's dad was making about twelve of these cross-shaped grave markers. I remember asking if they were consecrated or blessed in any way once they were done. I was told that there's no point, since they are just temporary markers. This might account for the marker's appearance in my dream, as I had some interest in them since he was basically working on them all day and we were there for most of it.

    - The third dream was a mix of many, many games, far too many to actually describe in reasonable detail. But the part with the UDamage and the inverted pentagram was most definitely based mostly on: DOOM, Daikatana and Unreal (Tournament). All of these have some themes in common, but the game engines are also all quite similar in some aspects. Hell and unholy motifs such as ghouls are closely related to DOOM of course and they also feature in UT. Some time ago I was working on a cathedral level for UT, but abandoned the project due to its complexity for my current skill level. The level featured an underground hellish portal that would take players to the top of the level.

    - The Christian-type symbols probably also made their appearances because last night I spent a fair bit of time speaking to H about how I have often felt, and often still feel, because of my constant pain issues. There is a somewhat subconscious link between pain and some version of hell, for me.

    - In the second dream, I seem to remember R was wearing his typical leather jacket. I don't remember seeing his face much in the dream.

    - In that same dream, many of the dream characters seemed to be some type or another of friends or acquaintances I used to have. My mom appeared in that dream at some point, near the end, along with some dreamed up ogre-like uncle of some kind.

    Updated 02-14-2020 at 12:56 PM by DarkestDarkness

    non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes


    by DarkestDarkness on 02-12-2020 at 11:40 PM
    Dreams that I made note of early today but that I'm only writing on the DJ here at night.

    Dream Fragment:

    Much longer than just this bit and a lot of detail is missing. Was with my family at some building, more specifically, with my parents and maybe siblings. We were there because of me, I was waiting to be given permission to use this facility's reactor-powered super-computer.

    One of mom's sisters (M) was there . H was there but was a blend between himself and my oldest sibling. I remember we were waiting in some sort of lobby. It was sunny, there was a lot of glass. It was a fairly modern-style building from what I can remember. Eventually, a woman came through into the room and requested my presence. I followed her and walked through some halls and then through a large indoors space, like an aircraft hangar or an industrial warehouse. When we were in one of these larger spaces, the woman, who I remember was formally dressed (i.e. had some sort of secretarial position), said that they were going to give me the OK to use their computer.

    Apparently I wanted to use this computer to "hack" some other reactor-powered super-computer of the same sort. In the dream I already knew I had permission from the owners of that second computer to do this. My reaction to when she gave me the OK was something of surprise and I felt happy. I told her I'd be right back and jogged back to the lobby quickly to grab a few things. Mostly some papers, A4 prints of the schematics for the other reactor? Looked like amplifier schematics like the ones I often see H use.

    In the dream I knew that some favour I pulled was responsible for the people who owned this place to allow me to do this, though there seemed to be no animosity with anyone and there was a calm and polite atmosphere.

    I remember there was a lot of dialogue in this dream but I remember very little of it in detail, usually one of the first things to get forgotten. I went back to the woman after grabbing the papers. I remember being shown into a room where I then used some sort of computer terminal and then gained physical access to the other computer's library. But it was literally and physically manifested in front of me, above the terminal.

    I looked through the books. I remember chatting to this lady since she was there to supervise me, mostly small talk. I couldn't remember which of these files (the books) that H was interested in, so for whatever reason I asked for someone to go and fetch my oldest sibling (L). L arrived and immediately recognised the book. L took it and I wondered how we'd return it, since I realised in that moment this was a one-time thing but we were still obliged to return the file.

    Then I said to L: "make sure you get everything you want, because we will never have access to this again." I remember thinking or feeling that the other books on that shelf were filled with irreplaceable knowledge.

    The dream went on for a bit but I don't remember much. Some visions of the reactors? I told the lady about how I got permission to do all of this.

    Dream Fragment:

    A different dream. In space, much shorter dream. Strategy game like Homeworld but could manage planets and space stations too. Mix of Freelancer too? Don't remember the visuals anymore. Woke up after this dream.

    Dream Fragment:

    Fell back asleep and recalled this single fragment. Was helping T build some sort of organ console. The console didn't look right. It was askew? But it was on purpose apparently. The manuals were angled at 90 degrees and sloped on a 30 degree arc. I remember this took place in T's room. There was a light on and the room was dark otherwise, somewhat as expected really.

    Mom was there, talking to T I think.

    Some notes:
    - I did remember more conversational detail when I woke up and wrote down the first dream on my phone but the memory has since long left as I finish writing this DJ entry.
    - The thing with the shelf and the books being the other computer's file system was very unusual. It was like an allegory, but somewhat unnecessary.
    - For whatever reason, these few dreams I had all had H, T and L mixed in some sense as if they were all the same character. Although I can draw some similarities between them, like the bookshelf thing, I'm not sure why it was almost made obvious in the dream. Normally my less conscious thoughts don't manifest themselves in dreams in such an obvious way, probably since I already recognise all these elements consciously anyway.
    - The secretary figure is starting to become a recurring dream character in a sense. Feels like a sort of formal projection, as a character, of what I would consider my anima to be. Last year there were some similar appearances. Usually black hair, tidy, possibly glasses and a smooth but not perfect face. A slight bit of attitude or something in body posture, but in a relaxed way. Takes herself seriously.
    - A note on the above; I have taken the Jungian archetypes into a sort of personally meaningful way as I do with symbols in general, so that they have specific meanings to myself, which are often a bit more distant from their original meanings. This accounts for why the appearance of these archetypes varies, sometimes dramatically. But the key identifier for them is usually that they are key characters in the dream and that they are not related to people I know, and seem to be more disjointed from the other characters in a dream, usually.
    - T's room was more or less as I remember last seeing it. The sense of any unpleasant smell didn't seem to be there, but I remember feeling uncomfortable being in the room.