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    5 Visitor Messages

    1. View Conversation
      To your visitor message, yep, I'm alright. Was gone for a while since I didn't really have the time to lucid dream. Lots of things happened. Thanks for the message.
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      This is weird...
    3. Now, see what you've gone and done?
    4. View Conversation
      Hello.
    5. View Conversation
      Heheh, you got it! I'm surprised anyone would actually figure it out!
    Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 5 of 5
    About DarkestDarkness

    Basic Information

    About DarkestDarkness
    Biography:
    My intro here on DV:

    https://www.dreamviews.com/introduction-zone/164524-hello-everyone.html
    How you found us:
    Some years ago after reading about lucid dreaming I looked for communities but never joined any; this was one of those communities that I saw but did not enter.

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    Singled out from some of my favourite quotes from Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri: "Risks of [Planet] flowering: considerable. But rewards of godhood: who can measure? - Usurper Judaa'Maar: Courage: to question."

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    Recent Entries

    cccxxxviii. Games, Pressured by others, Decision made without consulting me

    by DarkestDarkness on 10-31-2021 at 02:39 AM
    4th October 2021

    Scraps:

    (a long dream, but poor recall)

    Some RTS segment and I recall beaches and water.

    One part a bit Minecraft-like or some other game. T is here and someone else is with me? Some kind of tower, or otherwise large structure.

    One of the last parts of the dream, I am my alter-ego and there are interactions with me as such. The other people are dream-generated. They seem to be pressuring me, or something? Despite my form, I feel slightly shorter than others.

    Some other dream? H has convinced mom and dad to bring S over here. I think H goes to pick them up and I remember seeing them all at one point. I feel concerned about S because of all the usual reasons regarding costs and also because of the long trip.

    Notes:


    - The last part was certainly a reflection of how I sometimes don't feel listened to or validated on, regarding both matters of money and of companionship. In the segment, some beliefs I hold as very important are partly betrayed by my closest, besides the fact I feel it may be detrimental to both S's health and to my financial situation.

    - That same segment probably also relates to how I have often been very easily upset by changes to what a situation is and changes to what it would be or would have been.

    - More recently it has been more frequent for me to take on my alternate form in my non-lucid dreams. In this case, the context likely relates to my art and some perception that the expectations of others are above my own. My stature is clearly metaphorical in regards to my feelings in terms of recognition, but this dream element also relates directly to some of my choice themes and how I've often felt physically inadequate in some specific areas (primarily to my own expectations) when compared to others.
    -- I do not recall what exactly the other people were pressuring me about, but in terms of my waking life contexts, art is the most directly relevant context here.
    Categories
    non-lucid , dream fragment

    cccxxxvii. Glaring sunset at the desk, WoW self-mailing, With an away team

    by DarkestDarkness on 10-31-2021 at 02:27 AM
    1st October 2021

    Fragment:

    I am in T's room. We're sitting together at his desk, which is facing the window. The curtains are open and it's a sunset outside. The sun keeps glaring in my face and I struggle with the brightness. At the same time, I can't get comfortable at the desk. I have a square monitor and my arms and wrists hurt with the way they rest on the desk, partly because my chair is too short. T says to do something about it then, and I get some pillows to stack on the seat.

    In the middle of all this struggling, I end up at first missing the fact that the sunset is now over and the light is on now, but the curtains are still open.

    (recall gap, the following are scraps from the same dream)

    In WoW, I am mailing an item to myself. Some kind of developer marriage is interrupted by fans.

    I am then in a Star Trek universe and am with an away team. End up in a room back on the ship where I try to use a replicator but I end up pooping myself in the room's bathroom or something.



    Notes:


    - The Star Trek locale was very reminiscent to the sets and layouts of Voyager, which I've recently been watching.
    -- In that part of the dream, I remember feeling confused at several points and many things were going against me, in terms of events playing out. I think I may have been confined to some quarters. The replicator I tried using didn't function properly, at least for anything I wanted, but I can't recall what that mighthave been anymore.

    - In the WoW segment, I was mailing an item to the same character I was playing and not an alt, something that's never been possible.
    -- I have a faint recollection of the locale being some altered version of Stormwind.

    - During the initial segment of the dream, I am struggling with issues that typically T would be more likely to struggle with, at least in regards to his room and layout. I would not have so much of an issue with the sun and would probably be appreciating it, in waking life. In a way, this dream moment is a window into my perception of his experience, on some level.

    - The experience of struggling against the glaring sunset reminds me now very strikingly of the time I was walking back home with mom, at a time of a sunset but during which I hit my head on something metal and started bleeding, all of which was caused by struggling against a glaring sunset directly ahead.
    Categories
    non-lucid , dream fragment

    cccxxxv. Gruul's lair raid with NPCs, Space stuff

    by DarkestDarkness on 10-13-2021 at 05:33 PM
    24th September 2021

    Left recall too late.

    Fragment:

    I'm in Gruul's lair, it's mostly like in WoW but something seems more realistic in detail, characters maybe? Me and a raid group kill Gruul rather quickly. It's a 25 man group but oddly most of the characters aren't actual players? I remember talking to someone too.



    26th September 2021

    There were other dreams but recall was again left too late I think?

    Fragment:

    One bit where I'm in space with an Avorion spaceship. I approach one of those concentric asteroid ring formations. Something later about dad talking to me about a mission or a bet which is worth sixty eight million. I am dismissive.



    Notes:

    - Maybe the realistic character details come from recently playing Conan Exiles.

    - It may have been that I was speaking to L in the Gruul's lair dream but I cannot recall. There seemed to be some kind of backwards logic to the raid progression.

    - I haven't actually been playing much in the way of space games.

    cccxxxii. Wrong street and wrong house, Family dispute, Rushed at a supermarket

    by DarkestDarkness on 10-12-2021 at 08:22 PM
    13th September 2021

    Recall mostly gone, left initial writing for too long.

    Fragment:

    I'm on our street but it's not like in waking life. It's a mix of streets from old London as in films and also of where H's mom lives. I just gout out of the car, maybe on my own. It's day time, but overcast? In the dream everything has a very real feel to it. As I'm dreaming, my memory feels fuzzy; "18, that's not the number of J's door, but this doesn't look like our street?" I think to myself.

    I'm not sure what conclusion I made but I eventually go to ring the doorbell and go in. J is here briefly, I think. The house looks nothing like any of our homes, it just seems dream generated. Something about a pit or elevator shaft. Some task or chore that needs doing, possibly related to it? While indoors, it seems like the outside gets brighter than it had been.



    20th September 2021

    Scraps:

    Getting into fights and arguments with my eldest sibling. As a dream character he blends with some stereotype/nasty dream character archetype. He's treating me like shit and has called me pathetic a great number of times over several days (false memory). I threaten him saying "I can change but you won't like it." I resist an urge to flip the dining table against him. Mom and dad defend me in their ways. Dad mentions something about if he'd had the dream/nightmare that I had... (my recall of this trailed off but there was an implied behaviour that he was being understanding)

    At some point I throw a wooden chair against the wall. (It breaks?) Night time, we're in the second floor of the old home, the kitchen is L shaped.

    Some other dream also involving old home themes, recall vague. I remember looking at some M/M stuff (on the computer?) and then some kind of disagreements?



    22nd September 2021

    Fragment:

    In a supermarket with H. Very realistic, completely dream generated setting. Lots of running (literal?) around, as it's closing soon. Night time, they dim the lights but too much, I feel. I hope that H will complain as I am running around. Then the lights are still dim, but more acceptably so.



    Notes:

    - Recall has actually not been too bad in general for the last few months, but I keep leaving recall too long or falling asleep again without enough awareness to either recall later or to set an intent to notice I was falling asleep.

    - In the second fragment, there's some sort of mirroring with the initial context and an incident when I was six or seven, at school.

    cccxxxi. Raiding Nomad battleships, Several family encounters

    by DarkestDarkness on 10-05-2021 at 12:24 AM
    12th September 2021

    Fragment:

    (earliest dream) Mix of Avorion and Freelancer I think. I go to secret systems, where I attack and destroy (wandering?) Nomad battleships. In one system, there's a super battleship in a dry dock. No enemies at first but doesn't take long until they appear.

    Fragment:

    Stuff about mom and dad and family in general. At one point I'm in a version of the old home, an altered version of my bedroom. I have stuff all over a table or bed. Notebooks, papers, etc. Many of which have drawings of mine. I'm looking for something but it's not drawings. Then at one point mom comes in and starts to look too. Now I'm concerned she'll see some of the drawings. I sometimes take things off her so she can't look.

    (gap)

    Then mom and L are in the kitchen (upstairs). There's a context of breakfast but it's still pitch black outside. I feel really drowsy and disoriented and I feel like I may be naked but nobody comments on it, if I am. I stumble a bit, I think towards the pillar corners in the kitchen, where I feel the fridge is, despite having seen it near the entrance on the left, next to L.

    (gap)

    A relatively long segment where I'm with aunt B and we go around in her car and it has issues at one point. She knows some scruffy mechanics that are actually pretty good as it turns out. The job costs 100 and is done in fifteen minutes. During that time we went to a cafe nearby. Southern P feel and sunset?

    (gap)

    Talking to mom and dad about the previous bit. Then mom asks me if I've been getting the money dad sends me and I'm trying to say thank you, but they don't hear and interrupt me every time too. Then they comment on how I should say thank you and I say (frustrated) I would if I got a chance to speak. Then, we talk about T but I actually want to talk to H but can't remember his name for some reason (language gearing). But so then T appears anyway and he seems ok but mom and dad quickly have a go at him over something minor and he understandably gets upset. Then he goes off in a direction towards a campus or something and we walk off up a slight hilly bit, towards a town or something. (general feel of a mix of home town and L)

    Rest of recall gone but dream carried on for a bit.
    Categories
    non-lucid , dream fragment