Thread: OMG Let's rap battle!

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

Here an attack against the current champ

Yo O your name is the face girls make when I'm gettin blown.
Your seeds are sewn but your crops are shit
and you'll know once you hear the words that I spit.
You like spawn, but nobody cares
cause Image went the way of the Dodo birds.
But I mean really, his enemy's a clown?
Sorry but that's shit's taken by batman

But it's cool O, your name is sensational
On an LD forum and your explore dreams how original!
Every day more oneironauts come
With numbers and letters like they're the only one
And you may think I'm from the moon Cressida
But at least I don't live in Florida

(Had to use a rhyming dictionary for the last part... nothing rhymes with florida)

Well, well. Look who's come crawlin up out of the dirt?
Your name says Omnis Dei? You think you're doing God's Work?
Well I got news for you. Spawn's ripped through the Army of Heaven, yo.
He even wiped out Hell's Brigades. What? Didn't get the Memo?
So uniformed. That clown face on his enemy's a costume.
Don't worry, once I've killed you, I'll explain it to you, posthume.
Your mind's too feeble to see the shit Spawn's gone threw,
but the truth remains, the only real clown in your last spit was YOU.
You can't fool us rocking Cowboy Bebop in your avatar.
I heard you wore a Brokeback Mountain shirt to the Tossed Salad Bar.
And you should think twice. My name is a sex icon.
See, ladies scream out "O" for any good dick that they ride on.
So, whether she's a screamer, or just puckering to blow it,
It's my name on their lips, when you hit it. You just don't know it.
But after today, it's best you pack your shit and forfeit.
And maybe consider changing your name to Diem Mortis.

And just for shits and giggles there's plenty that rhymes with Florida,
No bullshit, which is funny considering how I'm goring ya.'
Verbal horns torn through your loins. Looks like it's over, bra'.
Loss of blood is massive, quick somebody call a corona'.

Originally Posted by Oneironaut

Well, well. Look who's come crawlin up out of the dirt?
Your name says Omnis Dei? You think you're doing God's Work?
Well I got news for you. Spawn's ripped through the Army of Heaven, yo.
He even wiped out Hell's Brigades. What? Didn't get the Memo?
So uniformed. That clown face on his enemy's a costume.
Don't worry, once I've killed you, I'll explain it to you, posthume.
Your mind's too feeble to see the shit Spawn's gone threw,
but the truth remains, the only real clown in your last spit was YOU.
You can't fool us rocking Cowboy Bebop in your avatar.
I heard you wore a Brokeback Mountain shirt to the Tossed Salad Bar.
And you should think twice. My name is a sex icon.
See, ladies scream out "O" for any good dick that they ride on.
So, whether she's a screamer, or just puckering to blow it,
It's my name on their lips, when you hit it. You just don't know it.
But after today, it's best you pack your shit and forfeit.
And maybe consider changing your name to Diem Mortis.

And just for shits and giggles there's plenty that rhymes with Florida,
No bullshit, which is funny considering how I'm goring ya.'
Verbal horns torn through your loins. Looks like it's over, bra'.
Loss of blood is massive, quick somebody call a corona'.

Not bad, not bad, don't even know if I can come back
Oh wait it's just you... I'm sure I'll figure something out
Let me think, let me think... what should I say?
What would possibly make you recoil in shame?
My mind's drawing a blank, not ringing any bells
I mean who else likes spawn who's older than twelve?
It's like nothing I say will make your ego deflate
Even if your from a state that can't count to eight
And you know I gotta respect that, you just keep goin
Your like the energizer bunny, but more annoyin
And just so you know, my name is not about God
I only gave myself it cause its what the bitches called
I have no idea what it means but when I'm gettin laid
They look up in wonder and cry "Ooooomniiiiis Deeeiiiiii!"
And yeah, maybe I was having trouble earlier
But seriously... seriously... at least I don't live in Florida

Lmao. That last line was fucked up.
I should have time to post tonight.

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

Not bad, not bad, don't even know if I can come back
Oh wait it's just you... I'm sure I'll figure something out
Let me think, let me think... what should I say?
What would possibly make you recoil in shame?
My mind's drawing a blank, not ringing any bells
I mean who else likes spawn who's older than twelve?
It's like nothing I say will make your ego deflate
Even if your from a state that can't count to eight
And you know I gotta respect that, you just keep goin
Your like the energizer bunny, but more annoyin
And just so you know, my name is not about God
I only gave myself it cause its what the bitches called
I have no idea what it means but when I'm gettin laid
They look up in wonder and cry "Ooooomniiiiis Deeeiiiiii!"
And yeah, maybe I was having trouble earlier
But seriously... seriously... at least I don't live in Florida

Whatup fools? I'm here and with a purpose
You've never seen me here, but you should be nervous
Your about to experience a new level of shame
The new guy is here, and about to bring the pain
I know what your thinking, I can hear it all around me,
"Fresh meat? This bitch is about to be ground beef!"
Hell no! I just took this shit to a new level
You don't even know that you just fucked with the devil
I'm here, and I'm looking for blood
My words, they're gonna hit you like a flash flood
Cmon, you know, my words never miss
I've got everyone sayin,
"Damn bro! You just got dissed!"
Now you know I aint playin
Oh my bad, I'm sorry bra'
Don't you know?
This is how shit goes down in Florida.

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

Not bad, not bad, don't even know if I can come back
Oh wait it's just you... I'm sure I'll figure something out
Let me think, let me think... what should I say?
What would possibly make you recoil in shame?
My mind's drawing a blank, not ringing any bells
I mean who else likes spawn who's older than twelve?
It's like nothing I say will make your ego deflate
Even if your from a state that can't count to eight
And you know I gotta respect that, you just keep goin
Your like the energizer bunny, but more annoyin
And just so you know, my name is not about God
I only gave myself it cause its what the bitches called
I have no idea what it means but when I'm gettin laid
They look up in wonder and cry "Ooooomniiiiis Deeeiiiiii!"
And yeah, maybe I was having trouble earlier
But seriously... seriously... at least I don't live in Florida

Meh. I wanted to throw something good out, but I haven't had much time and didn't want to keep stalling forever, so here we go:

Wait, yo hold up. Don't go talkin' about the place where I dwell...
Nah, fuck it. You're right. This state can go to Hell.
'Cause, really, I've a love-hate relationship with this place and shit.
Could do without the old folks and all the tourists vacationin'.
It's an acquired taste, I know, but go with it, my friend.
Since we've got plenty bums and prostitues...You'd fit right in!
But I digress, this here's a lesson in learnin your role.
Me? I'm a devil. War is Hell and I'm burnin your soul.
You're just a wayward spirit. God refused to buzz you in.
He sees you challenged me. Ooh. Bad move. The worstt of sins.
You took me as some petty trial or tribulation,
but by opposing my rhyme you've tried His most prized creation.
And I could be in Timbuktu or whatever spot you mention
but still spit shit so strong it counts as Divine Intervention.
And if your name ain't religious, that's a coincidence,
boy, cuz you just got cruicified, by lines and sentences.

tldr wanted to see who these guys are
to be honest I don't like rap.
usually they start talkin crap

Man your rhymes are fuckin' whack,
you just got shellacked, it's a fact
that your fuckin underwear's got more skid marks than a race track
your mom goes around the block like a cul de sac
her cunt is like Vietnam, I spray the napalm then bushwhack back
I need a Naval campaign just to contain her gas main
I sell cocaine to maintain a capital gain, she snorts enough to kill more Indians than John Wayne
that bitch is public domain, niggas ride her like a subway train in the fast lane
ass so big it has an orbital plane
wanna fuck her doggystyle? just throw some food on the ground and pound her ass like a basset hound

(And the Beat drops....)
Watch as Oneironaut turns into unattractive decay,
When I spit hot flames, I see him hyperactively runnin' away,
his dark fears can't eliminate his troubles as far as the milky way,
he gets himself into predictable messes that induce his disarrays,
lost in the universe of Galvatron's deadly hyper radioactive mind rays,
so mentally diverse its like a killer bumblebee's sting stingin' away at his dna,

, Haha Oneironaut, Lets see what you got,

Originally Posted by Galvatron

(And the Beat drops....)
Watch as Oneironaut turns into unattractive decay,
When I spit hot flames, I see him hyperactively runnin' away,
his dark fears can't eliminate his troubles as far as the milky way,
he gets himself into predictable messes that induce his disarrays,
lost in the universe of Galvatron's deadly hyper radioactive mind rays,
so mentally diverse its like a killer bumblebee's sting stingin' away at his dna,

, Haha Oneironaut, Lets see what you got,

'Galvatron'? What the fuck? Fool, just head back to your corner.
I asked for battle emcees, and I get a fuckin Transformer??
Think you're more the meets the eye? Go 'head and try to flex your squirrel nuts.
You'll think that this was Cybertron, the way I'll fuck your world up.
Call me Optimus Primeval. Big Bad Motha' Trucker.
Rollin' Out on your bitch ass, with one punchline after another.
Yea, you might have been 'advanced' on that dead planet of your birth,
but 'round here, your technique's obsolete, E.T. Welcome to Earth!

'Galvatron'? What the fuck? Fool, just head back to your corner.
I asked for battle emcees, and I get a fuckin Transformer??
Think you're more the meets the eye? Go 'head and try to flex your squirrel nuts.
You'll think that this was Cybertron, the way I'll fuck your world up.
Call me Optimus Primeval. Big Bad Motha' Trucker.
Rollin' Out on your bitch ass, with one punchline after another.
Yea, you might have been 'advanced' on that dead planet of your birth,
but 'round here, your technique's obsolete, E.T. Welcome to Earth!

Nice rhymes lol

Originally Posted by Oneironaut

'Galvatron'? What the fuck? Fool, just head back to your corner.
I asked for battle emcees, and I get a fuckin Transformer??
Think you're more the meets the eye? Go 'head and try to flex your squirrel nuts.
You'll think that this was Cybertron, the way I'll fuck your world up.
Call me Optimus Primeval. Big Bad Motha' Trucker.
Rollin' Out on your bitch ass, with one punchline after another.
Yea, you might have been 'advanced' on that dead planet of your birth,
but 'round here, your technique's obsolete, E.T. Welcome to Earth!

Yeah....that's why I don't fux with this thread. Stop burning people like that. It's just wrong.

Originally Posted by Auron

Stop burning people like that. It's just wrong.

Lol.

What is the point of this fucking thread,
Is all you can think of to build up your cred?
Bashing and burning and spreading your hate,
You'll tear down the world, less this abate.
Working together, what could we build?
A forum of love, each man fulfilled.
So tell me, is this the best you can do?
O, now I'm passing the ball off to you.

(So... perhaps the theme is not quite what you'd find in a normal rap, and nor, perhaps, are the words. Or the tempo. But at least it rhymes, yeah? :p)

Watchu whining bout now son, is it getting to your head?
Then how bout you WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA your way off this thread
We hard motherfucking gangsters up in here
If you ain't made of heat then you better stay clear
My ballsweat could take down more gangsters than you
Cause I dont wash down there and I'm cooking a stew
We hard motherfucking HARD don't you try to START playing like its YOUR GAME
Cause we be harder than SHIT we don't know when to QUIT homie we play INSANE

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

Watchu whining bout now son, is it getting to your head?
Then how bout you WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA your way off this thread
We hard motherfucking gangsters up in here
If you ain't made of heat then you better stay clear
My ballsweat could take down more gangsters than you
Cause I dont wash down there and I'm cooking a stew
We hard motherfucking HARD don't you try to START playing like its YOUR GAME
Cause we be harder than SHIT we don't know when to QUIT homie we play INSANE

Yo, Omnis, who the fuck do you think you are?
Are you even old enough to drive a car?
Your rhymes are wack, your face is tacky
You're just a white kid tryin to act as a blackie
Get real bitch, you ain't got nothin on me
There aint just one girl in my bed, there are THREE.
Cuz' the bitches love to grind on my dick
I take your punk ass down with my scissors kick

Oh yeah... I really suck at this

lol...

I didn't come to brag, talk shit or try to boast
Cause I haven't any beef with any of you folks
I just came to to giggle, lean back, and rollercoast
Cause this shit is bananas
Like peanut butter on toast! x}



But yeah, all silliness aside, I just read this thread in it's entirety (couldn't stop!) and I'm now thoroughly convinced someone should bring it back.

It is clear there is skill out there, just waiting to be unleashed.

I am a man
I like to lan
I saw a lady tan
In a grocery van

YA'LL CAN'T TOUCH THIS!