Thread: Lunary's meditation workbook

I have been doing meditation for a few days so I'll just say what happened in each of them
-1st day : I was sad and crying as I moved away from my parents and have to live with some roommate now in different city cause of college, I sat down before my bed, my roommate gone as he always is so I closed my eyes and started relaxing, in almost a moment my breathing went relaxed my head feels uncomfortable so I slowly lean in down so it's hanging down. I keep on meditating the thoughts coming at me are chaotic just rushing right into my face, I just watch them fly by but after a few minutes I get a huge headacke, I am unable to keep on so I go to sleep.

-2nd day : I was still feeling sad, and before sleeping I sat on my bed, got instantly relaxed breathing and calmed down a bit, then I started watching my thoughts pass by, they weren't so chaotic as before but as I kept on after a few minutes I got a headacke, I tried telling myself to remember my dreams and then went to sleep, so I had one dream.

-3rd day : I was feeling quite better about the whole being moved thingy I wasn't sad at all so before bed again I sat down on my bed and relaxed, my breathing quickly going relaxed too, I layed my head down and kept on meditating, my thoughts are wandering in chaos again but I manage to get trough them it's calm now and I keep on seeing a few random thoughts pass by, but they never stop, I begin wondering, will it stop? Did I get there? How do I know when I am at the "Goal" I try thinking to myself and I hear a voice talk to me, it seems to be friendly but it says talking to me right now hurts it, so I just ask him nicely if I can get a dream, maybe if he can help me to lucid, it says sure but that it should go now and that I should sleep. So I feel a finger on my forehead gently push me over in bed and I lie down in bed all relaxed quickly falling asleep. I have one more dream.

-4th day I do the same thing as usually with meditating, thoughts go chaotic and again afterwards a few random thoughts now and then and they don't stop, I try to talk to that voice again and it speaks to me again, it says that I need to try harder to lucid dream, that it can't give it to me on a platter, it's not what I meanth, I need help to lucid dream because of my fear, but it seems to want to get rid of me fast. But I don't want to bother it too much so I decide it's enough for now as I got a headacke again so I go sleep, saying goodnight to the voice.

-5th day I do the same thing XD. Thoughts chaotic, this time I try to imagine myself in a enviroment but I don't end up in a enviroment I want, I see a river and a Huge eevee in the middle of it, it looks at me and growls, the river glowing blood red, it's a river of blood! I get scared but I do not want to leave, I want to know what's going on. I walk a bit looking at the eevee but it quickly growls again the river glowing blood red again and it swings it's huge paw at me trying to hit me, I manage to dodge, I don't want to fight, I want to calm it down, I run around as it keeps on attacking me the river glowing blood red, I jump on it's face as I'm quite smaller than it, I hug it and it stops, I see the river turning icy blue and a tear running down the eevee's eye. It doesn't say a thing but my meditation stops forcedly.

6th day. Okay I decided to be a bit random as my friend told me to say something random so I intended to say it. I sat down and all that. waited for my thoughts to calm down. Then I went all
"PINK KITIIEEEZZZZ!!!" And then A WAVE of pink kitties started storming into my sight All over the place Then I saw Nyan cat flying and the kitties all jumped onto it and took it down Grabbed it and threw it away in random direction saying "DOWN WITH THE NYAN CAT!!!!" Then they kept on rushing all around Then I heard "OKAY ENOUGH" and then they were pushed away from sight by a weird looking Espeon clothed in some sort of japanese clothes and holding a fan. I asked "Who are you?" It said "I am nobody" I said "You must have a name, no?" It said "No I don't" then it turned away and tried to walk away, it's eyes seeming cold yet troubled I rushed at it and hugged it from behind I said don't go. Then said a few sweet things like if it's my sub-c I want it to be there with me, even if it is a monster I'll be there to make it happier and all Then he looked at me it's eyes shreading a tear and giving me a gentle look and said "I....need time to...think" Then it gave me that fan thingy that was floating now and the espeon walked away Then I readed a text on the fan and as I was reading it it was read in my thoughts (Kinda like telepathy) "My heart is a living missery, I seek the light, but it cannot be found, please be my light...but for now...fade away" and as "Fade away" was being spoken the fan went into my face, my eyes opened and my meditation was broken

You actually induced a vivid scenario on just your 6th day of practicing meditation?! Wow. The only obscure visions I've seen were the outline of a computer monitor and random faces that fade very quickly, mostly the eyes of whoever it is I'm seeing. I'd like to know more about the methods you are using for meditation.

man i need to do these mediations too..

I don't do anything special I just sit in the same pose all the time, breathe relaxedly and when thoughts are gone I just try to see myself in some simple enviroment and when I manage to I let go of the control, just trying to control myself nothing else, my mind fills out the other stuff, and it's not vivid like a dream so don't think it's THAT vivid but yeah I do see the stuff faintly.

-7th day - I lied down this time and listened to relaxing music, I was lying still as if I was going to WILD but I wasn't intending to WILD. I visualised myself first in a random room. I managed to after 30 seconds or so (When my mind was clear of thoughts). I looked around and I saw the espeon with japanese like clothes again. We talked a bit about Yranul(Former Dream guide). It told me that he WAS my sub-concious, that he was actually a part of him that didn't know how to do stuff much, when it saw Moonlight lying to me and knowing it's hurting him he wanted to tell it to me, as I didn't listen to the dream(Realise what they meanth) after 3 months he went to drastic measures by attacking me with Lucid dreams, trying to "Beat the sence into me" and as it ended he was relieved but he made such a mess in my head that he didn't know how to clean it up, so he tried but kept failing, that till this day on he's feeling guilty about what happened.

After that I asked him what kind of a pain is hidden deep within me and if he could show me. it said that it can't show me but it can take me to something that can, and told me to follow it. I followed it into some room with hidden stairs going down, we were walking down, it was a small dark stairway that was going down for long, only a torch here and there in it. As we got downstairs I saw a lighted room, the light source being in the middle, it was a white transparent glowing body with wings(Kinda like a soul would be I guess) just floating there with closed eyes and glowing, the room seeming somewhat laboratoy like but there were no experiments or anything being done. The espeon said I should walk into the thing in the middle and so I did. As I did my body took the same position of the glowing "Soul" and my Real(Non-visualised) body started shivering a bit, it told me it's gonna take a moment and after a while the shaking stoped and then it took out some 6 gems and tossed them in a circular shape, them floating in air and then Espeon spread it's hands and the gems started glowing, making a 3 color glowing circle going trough every gem then each gem pushed the light to the middle and then from the middle it shooting at me in the "Soul" I felt alot of tingling and "Shaking" feeling at the point where it was shooting. He said he needs to link me to it better and that it shouldn't take long. After he finished doing that he said that my inner pain will be shown to me in my dreams and told me that I should quit the meditation now. I said goodnight to it and it said goodnight back.

That night I got a semi-lucid dream that I wrote down in my dream journal, I don't think it's a coincidence since I did "WILD" while I didn't even wake up to WILD or anything and I'm sure it wasn't a DEILD, and I woke up 45 minutes after(I thought REM sleep happens after atleast 4 hours?).

I must know your secrets! I jigaboo'd your ideas about the subconscious. Hopefully your writings will intertwine with something in my head and click sooner or later.

- Day 8,9,10,11 - After those 2 halfly lucid dreams my will to do stuff is almost diminished, I am experiancing unexplained sadness and depression, I don't know what is wrong with me, I tried to meditate, I'd get to the state of clear mind but whenever I tried to start anything in it I'd lose my will completely and just out of some new found reflex turn around and just go to sleep even if I don't want to ... What's going on?

You think it's because of your lucid dreams that these things are happening to you? Have you mixed up your routine or any rituals you do on a daily basis? Eat, drink, see or hear anything that might've put you on edge? Possibly try a serotonin supplement.

After a while my mind returned back to normal, now I am talking Daily to Espeon, apparantly Espeon is a she (I couldn't tell cause of a HUGE cloak she wears all the time and the fact when I asked she said "You'll just have to find out~") I can meditate again, and I think I understand what those 2 lucid dreams meanth and they describe my inner pain quite good, but I don't really see a way to fix it really cept trough lucid dreaming right now. XD (Only cause of my personality). So I guess I found out what it is, I'm being able to see color in my meditations finally, I hope it will go trough to my dreams too so I can finally dream in color, it's nothing strong but I still enjoy seeing slight color patterns. I am unsure what to meditate for right now. Anyone have any ideas?