Conscience
learning

today I got another accidental LD.
I woke up at 7 and stayed awake til 8:30, then I decided to go to sleep again
I fell asleep in an uncomfortable position because my gf took up all the space

As I was falling asleep, I opened my dream body eyes. It felt like opening my real eyes but it turned out to be a dream. I looked at my hand and thought I was dreaming. I didn't count the fingers, the vision was just so weird and blurry that I KNEW it was a dream. my dream world was crumbling so I looked at my hand again and counted 6 fingers. Then I tried to rotate. I ended up somewhere else with slightly less blurry vision. I had a headache in my dream and at some point it was all black
in any case, I knew I was dreaming, it was a shitty LD though coz my recall and control and everything wasn't good at all.
Eventually I woke up and did it again. had another more or less LD, kinda like DEILD technique, but this one was just black so I wasn't interested in it and lost control

After over a year, dreaming has caught my attention again because I meditate every day (for about 2 weeks now)

a few days ago I was taking a nap. Because of more awareness and sleep deprivation I was able to fall asleep without drifting entirely away. I couldn't move and realized I must be sleeping, but I forced myself to wake up because I thought I heard steps

I decided to wait if I get a similar experience in the next few days.

Today I took a nap too, again with sleep deprivation. I was falling asleep and forced myself to stay in control. It was a little bit like WILD I guess, but I couldn't quite control everything when I was dreaming, the clarity and vividness were below average and the duration was ridiculous.

I remember being in the ocean at first. I knew I was dreaming so I tried to dive and breathe water. It worked, but not as good as I expected. I was floating underwater and observing a reef. I forgot that I was dreaming for a few moments, but I remembered it again when I saw a cat with a jetpack. I normally don't dream about such unrealistic things, but this time I did *shrugs*

I tried to make the cat-dream go away, took me about 20 seconds until I was on a street in a friendly looking neighborhood. Except there were huge weapons in every garage. I even had to destroy 2 weapons because they seemed to want to kill me when I stepped on their property. I didn't quite have control over this dream, I was however able to remember that it's just a dream and I was able to just walk away from the deadly weapons. I walked over to a guy who sold some random things, and I remembered that people in dreams often say interesting things, so I tried to talk with him. I didn't say anything, I just stared at him and expected him to say something but he simply stared back. I was trying really hard to make him say something, but then I woke up.

I might take another nap after my daily meditation and see if I can continue this dream.

Note: I forgot so much about those dreams, about 80%, just because I was too lazy to write them down

Date: May 6
Sleep length: 7h + 1h (nap in the morning)
Techniques: DILD and nap
Summary:
(1) There was a dubious tower in a public swimming pool. there was a bunch of people, some of them naked I think, some not. I think I was naked, and there was a friend of mine. We climbed on top of this tower and apparently there was a platform up there. We played some weird game, I remember it was a game in which I was some emperor or something like that. It was fun.onesi
(2) this is the mysterious forgotten dream. I wrote the tags down, but as soon as I finished I stopped thinking about it and now I've forgotten it and only the tags are left. So it seems I was in class with a certain professor. And we were talking about an exam I think, and I wanted to put it off because I had a surgery and therapy (?), which makes sense because that's exactly what I did in wake life, but somehow my cell phone was involved. go figure.
(nap) I fell asleep, had some kind of FA and dreamed I was writing my dreams down (haha), later there was a redhead girl lying in the grass, wearing a weird pajama which you can open to shit without having to take it off. I think I was gonna fake-rape her (coz she actually wanted it I guess), she was squirming on the ground but she kinda turned into a replication, a fake girl made of plastic, the plastic was orange and I oiled it up and put stuff into it... I never knew I had this many sexual dreams

Tags: game, nude, tower, platform, swimming, lr;; class, prof b, therapy, surgery, cell phone, put off;; FA, DJ, faye, sex toy, orange

Date: May 5
Sleep Length: 7h
Techniques: DILD
Summary:
(1) I was in a classroom with a bunch of people (about 50), I sat on a seat on a platform, about 3 meters above the floor, together with a friend of mine (v) I remember seeing the ceiling from above, as if I was inside it. We were drawing stuff. A friend of mine (jt) drew mice with blood around their mouths and I drew a naked lady and said "It's a leftover from the last international women's day"... I'm normally not sexist or anything. There was more, but I forgot the rest because I didn't write it down
(2) I was on a journey or something, it was summer I think. Well, it was night and I sat on a table with my father and some strange people (guests, probably friends of my dad). The chairs looked like the chairs from my elementary school. For some reason I had to go outside and walk a few miles.
(3) It was drizzling and I locked a car. very grey, so many clouds. I was in a small village I think. I forgot so much because I didn't write it down.
Vividness/Awareness: 2/2
emotions: indifference
tags: classroom, v, ceiling, drawings;; vacation, guests, table, hiking;; car, drizzle

Date: May 4
Sleep length: 3h + 5h
Techniques: DILD + WBTB
Dream Summary:
(pre) at first, I remembered another dream because of this dream. dream (1) is a sequel of this dream: I was in a forest with a friend of mine. We used to do drugs in a certain forest, but this time we didn't. It looked like autumn, everything was red. We were at a big hollow and suddenly we noticed a police officer with a drug dog. We laughed and said "Luckily we don't have drugs"
(1) well guess what happens in now. We are at this hollow again, and he got some weird drug. It was mixed with coffee for some reason... He hasn't told me which drug he used though. I thought it was Meth or Cocaine. The effect was more like Weed and a bit Acid though. I blacked out for a moment, when I woke up the drug-mug was under the bench we were sitting on and we were blown away. I tried to stand up and fell down. I was trying to throw away some weird empty blunt which was covered in a yellow liquid. Then we wanted to go away, but of course there was this drug dog again, as expected. We wanted to go away without him noticing, but he already smelled us so we started running. Here's the action part of this dream. I was running and thinking and I thought I was gonna get some "police letter" and I was also kinda afraid of this dog. I realized it's probably too late and turned around. I wanted to keep my dignity. But I couldn't find the police, so I just turned around again and started running again. I ran through the red forest to a field and gradually woke up. When I woke up I continued thinking about running, until I realized it's a dream and I should write it down.
(2) When I was writing (1), I remembered (2). I was playing pokemon like back when I was a kid. It was fun, I tried to catch a rare pokemon. I went to my balcony to play there, it was night and pretty dark. This is really just a fragment, I was hearing voices from a room with an opened window. It was my mother and a guest.
Vividness/Awareness: 8/2
Emotions: trust - indifference - shock - fear - worry - guilt
Tags: drug, coffee mug, forest, autumn, police dog, running;; balcony, pokemon