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    About McDreamy
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    Recent Entries

    DEILD Journey #8

    by McDreamy on 06-03-2018 at 08:02 PM
    A little bit of a break from dreamviews, but I have been continuing my practice with DEILD and now the more traditional version of WILD as well.

    All throughout April I was having some remarkable success with waking up in the middle of night motionless with my eyes still closed, and experiencing what are probably signs of sleep paralysis such as my legs filling up with bubbles and other bodily or visual changes. The waking up properly part seems to be a matter of confidence, and perhaps the amount of time you spend setting the intention. But falling asleep after waking up (while still intending to DEILD) has been a persistent issue for me; although my body is certainly relaxed waking up in this way, my mind is usually fairly alert upon waking in the night. I also have not overcome my problem of becoming too excited when anything starts to happen, and focusing too intently on things. I am also reluctant to stay up for more than 15 minutes or so trying, to prevent too much disruption to sleep for the next day at work. Maybe I could go to bed a half hour earlier, and extend the time I can devote to each attempt.

    I have decided to work on the traditional WILD method over the weekends. It will be a great tool for my repertoire, and I think that gaining proficiency with WILD will improve my chances with DEILD given that they are essentially the same thing. I encounter what are basically the same problems while doing both. Fortunately, I am enjoying the process of trying to achieve my first full fledged DEILD/WILD, and the failures have not begun to discourage me yet.

    Experimenting with various nuances of WILD, I am yet to figure out which technique works best for me. I love the idea of FILD, but it has shown very little promise for me. Simple counting to maintain awareness and to anchor my thoughts seemed to be working a couple of times, but has been hit and miss. Merely acting as a passive observer of the process has been very promising. But I also find that something to distract my thoughts is needed when any changes start to occur, so that I do not focus too intently on them or get excited.

    The past couple of days I have tried some simple visualization of a boring scene or task such as sweeping a wooden floor..the feel of the broom..the sounds..Yesterday doing this I got to this point where I was teetering on the verge of sleep. I tried to do it somewhat passively as well, and to allow any sensations that occurred, to happen. For instance, I noticed that my eyes have a tendency to dart around, and that I should not fight this. Today I did the same visualization but was probably having difficulty from focusing too intently on the visualization, so I decided to just 'let things happen.' Felt this tingling over my body and then saw some swirls. My eyes were darting around and going upwards as far as they could go, and it was like my eyes/eyelids were having a little seizure. I tried to just allow things to unfold, but got excited that perhaps I would finally succeed and then was too alert.

    So basically as a self-reminder: continue some gentle visualization and allow things to unfold during DEILD and WILD attempts. If this is a dud then try to passively observe back of eyelids as a method, or counting. The visualization is pretty orthodox when it comes to DEILD, so I think it warrants more experimentation.
    Categories
    side notes

    DEILD Journey #7

    by McDreamy on 04-08-2018 at 09:11 PM
    This was a strange night, and strange morning..

    Pre-sleep

    -Meditated for a few minutes to relax and forget about some things that were on my mind
    -Wrote mantra in DJ: "I will gently wake from a dream, motionless with eyes closed."
    -Repeated this as I was falling asleep

    The night was strange from the beginning because as I was repeating mantra while trying to let myself sleep, I really felt as if the intention became solidified, and actually felt my legs become much heavier. Then my arms and body in general became heavy, as if in response to my desire to remain motionless upon waking. Then my cognition became very odd, which was a little disturbing. It's hard to describe, but my thoughts were just strange, foreign and garbled. This isn't the first time this has happened after setting this intention, and previously I would disregard my intent and tell myself the contrary, that I would just sleep the night through and not concern myself with lucid dreaming. This time I decided to ride it out and see what happened, although it took me a while to fall asleep, and it was very uncomfortable to be in my head. In the background noise of all this, my thoughts would sometimes turn to the paranormal, further complicating my efforts. Eventually sleep overtook me.

    I woke up in the night and definitely moved, but stayed awake briefly to see if anything happened, before falling asleep again. I was reading KingYoshi's WILD guide before bed, and he mention with DEILD that remaining motionless and eyes closed is great, but that you should still make an attempt with it even if you did move while waking up. Yoshi's emphasis on falling asleep and letting things happen with minimal input is also pretty interesting for a beginner like me.

    Dream

    I am flying a helicopter with J or someone else at night over a city, and there is a mountain range in the distance. There are lights between some of the peaks, coming from somewhere far off that I am interested in going to. It looks like lights from a city or a stadium or something. I decide that I want to fly between the peaks, and radio this to the air traffic controller in the city I am hovering over. The man on the other end tells me not to, because I don't have the training to be flying at night, and that this would be too dangerous. I tell him I will return to base, but hesitate about saying "base" and search for the correct non-military word.

    I am in a building and it is either a match of PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds (having a lot of dreams about this haha), or a non-video game military battle. There are some noises of someone's quiet footsteps, so I sneak around the door way into a different room. To my right are two doors, and another entrance to the room I am in, and to my left is a window (random details). I have my gun ready to open fire on whoever comes in through the entrance. I hear the breaking of some glass or the crumpling of some paper under someone's feet, and this lasts for a little while.
    This is a little strange, and I realize that I am dreaming! I look around the room, but my vision is becoming foggy, and I realize that my hold on the dream is weakening and I wake up.

    Another fragment about some authority figure, and some task I had to do.

    I think I was having an olfactory hallucination after waking up from the lucid dream, which has also happened before. It's just this strange smell that is sometimes there for a while after I become lucid and wake up. Feeling a bit strange today but that could be from lack of sleep from my weekend of waking up throughout the night to try and become lucid!


    WILD Attempt (noon nap)
    -Progressive muscle flexing/relaxing, and put a blanket over my eyes to keep the light out. I decided to put an emphasis on letting things happen, but still incorporated counting with exhale, as this seems to help with my mental chatter. Changed positions a couple of times after nothing was really happening, to get comfortable again like in Yoshi's guide. In the third position my body became very relaxed and I definitely got to the point where I was teetering on the edge of consciousness/unconsciousness, which was definitely a step in the right direction! But, excitement kicked in and the heart rate went up as I noticed some vague physical sensations, and things kind of fell flat. Was also a bit apprehensive. Oh well. It does help a little bit to not fight the excitement, and just let it happen and then return your attention to whatever else.

    It's kind of funny that I seem to get more excited during the WILD process than I do when I actually become lucid through DILD.

    Updated 04-08-2018 at 11:09 PM by McDreamy

    Categories
    Uncategorized

    DEILD Journey #6

    by McDreamy on 04-07-2018 at 09:09 PM
    I set a goal this week of waking up with my eyes closed and remaining still one time. I managed to do this twice. April 3rd I did this and waited for about 20 seconds without anything happening before deciding to go back to sleep (didn't want to lose much sleep that night). Last night, I did this and thought about my previous dream. There was maybe some slight hypnagogia, but nothing more happened for whatever reason..could be focusing too intently and watching the process happen as any slight changes occurred. I think the former attempt was too early in the morning, but the latter was probably at an appropriate time. I mentioned in a DEILD thread that I would experiment with multiple attempts per night, resetting the intention to wake up appropriately after any unsuccessful attempts. Eventually I should wake up in a more REM dominated phase of sleep in the morning (if this is even the issue). From what I've read the hardest part about DEILD is waking up without moving or opening your eyes, but even when I manage to do this, very little else happens. This is confusing but I will figure it out soon enough. In my first DEILD attempt, I woke up motionless and felt strong vibrations...where did these go!?

    Dream

    I am in a game of PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds in first person, but am actually physically in the game. There are a lot of noobs as part of some event that's going on. I see armor on the ground and pick it up. I am with someone, I think J, along with R2D2 and C3PO from star wars. We are in the woods at night, and are a little bit lost. There is a raised rubble pathway to my right. I am surprised that the droids are able to manage through this terrain. We get to a small grass gap between the edge of the forest and a farmers field with tall corn. Suddenly the clouds part and the moon shines down on us, leaving us exposed. I lead us to the crops to take cover so nobody sees us, especially a werewolf because its a full moon after all. We lay prone in the cornfield, but oh shit! We're lying next to a werewolf!! It starts snarling at me and moves toward me barking..or whatever is it that werewolves do.


    WILD attempt at noon:
    -focused on my breath to relax, and then started counting down with each exhale..There were some thoughts about whether my eyes would flutter open like they sometimes do when attempting a WILD, but I mindfully let them pass and returned to counting. I noticed some very active swirls and blobs moving for some period of time while counting down, but then I got excited and it stopped. Will try to be more mindful about this, and just return attention to anchor as anything is happening. Paying too much attention to the process of falling asleep is probably keeping me awake. Will just let things happen on their own. WILD is basically still just falling asleep, and I know how to do that already

    Updated 04-07-2018 at 09:14 PM by McDreamy

    Categories
    Uncategorized

    DEILD Journey #5

    by McDreamy on 03-27-2018 at 01:20 AM
    Woke up in the middle of the night, and set my intention to wake up with my eyes closed, motionless after my next dream. It worked! Hearing seemed to become my "primary" sense, if that makes sense. I could hear some gentle noises in the room, then noticed the back of my eyelids, and realized I had not moved. It was a gentle awakening. I tried to imagine the previous dream, but nothing was really happening. I think I decided to focus on breathing next, there was some mild hypnagogia but nothing more happened, and I decided to give up and sleep.

    Edit: I wonder if my autosuggestion is not specific enough. Perhaps I am waking myself up too early and am awakening from NREM-dominated sleep. This would presumably make it harder to DEILD. I may check the time after unsuccessful DEILDs, or alternatively I could set additional intentions to wake from dream after each attempt, and eventually I will wake during a REM-dominated period of the night.

    Dream

    I am on a street at night, trying to get across a section of it without someone seeing me. I think this is like the video game Player Unknown's Battlegrounds. I am walking down the sidewalk now then begin running past someone.

    Updated 03-28-2018 at 01:58 AM by McDreamy

    Categories
    Uncategorized

    DEILD Journey #4

    by McDreamy on 03-24-2018 at 06:12 PM
    I woke up repeatedly throughout the night but not with eyes shut. Didn't have too much time to set my intention perhaps. After my initial successes, a part of me is also afraid of failure because this is a promising technique that I would like to work for me, and now I'm somehow expecting it as a result. But I will focus on the progress, the successes, and remember that it is about training over time. I will get this. I will try meditating for relaxation immediately prior to my next attempts, and see if this helps. A part of me suspects that confidence in success is a huge part of whether or not it actually works.

    After a wake back to bed of 45 mins I try to WILD. I took an attitude of: anything that occurs is an experience happening to me, I don't control it, so I will just let it happen and observe whatever it is, even if that experience is me becoming too excited and things coming to a halt. I tried FILD on my back and became quite relaxed, body numb, and I noticed the swirls and blobs of light becoming more and more frequent. They became more intense than usual probably due to my mindset, and I felt my eyes starting to open automatically, and I struggled to keep them shut, but unfortunately they fluttered open a little bit. Switching to my front, I was on the brink of sleep and was sometimes forgetting what I was trying to do, and would then revert back to the FILD practice. I let myself forget about lucid dreaming, and just let myself sleep, but also remembering the finger practice without consciously thinking about the WILD attempt. Re-interpreting it as something I do to help me sleep normally, so that I wasn't so focused on lucid dreaming, which tends to keep me excited and too alert. I noticed rapidly flashing lights and the sensation that something had just happened to my body, like a heaviness or something. My alarm went off shortly.

    Later noon attempt: body became very relaxed and numb, and there were swirls of light, but I was drifting off less often than earlier. The excitement/heart rate was high and I was having trouble mindfully/gently allowing thoughts and metacognition to come and go, returning attention the task. Mindful breathing did help somewhat but improvements and dedicated mindfulness practice may pay dividends.

    Edit: Afternoon attempt (3pm): When had some HI and it felt like my view of it was zooming in, my eyes just automatically started to open. How frustrating!!

    Dream (from night before waking)

    I am in England with my girlfriend (I think), and am driving over what looks like a Scottish countryside road, replete with rolling hills overlooking beautiful small lakes. There are old stone buildings on the hill tops and elsewhere along the road, and the day is a cloud one, but still the scene is picturesque. I am sitting in an airport terminal with some people, KZ included. We discuss driving to Cape Cod (USA) before leaving England, because this is one of my favorite places and I would like to go. I think that KZ leaves today to go back to work, but he says that he is leaving in the morning and can go out on the town tonight.

    I am at work now, and there is a toy remote control helicopter similar to the one my girlfriend's brother owns. I play with it and fly it around the office. I almost crash it a number of times but manage to salvage the mini flight. The lights are off in the other end of the office, because I decided to save power and only turn on the ones that I would need. I am completely alone here, nobody else is at work. I am disembodied and flying a helicopter in the third person now, and am hovering above three warehouses below me. There is someone in one of them, communicating with me via radio or walkie talkie when I am hovering about them directly. This is some sort of drug bust, and they are perhaps undercover.

    Updated 03-24-2018 at 08:34 PM by McDreamy

    Categories
    non-lucid