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    1. #1
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      Do I have a problem?

      Do I have a problem?

      A look into the human mind, linear thought processes, inherited behaviors, neuroses, psychological unconditioning, lateral thinking, creative problem solving, and catharsis.

        This will hopefully be a short summary of what I hope will allow many people the ability to come to terms with issues that are causing emotional anguish. It is a fact of life that we all hurt inside, it is part of growing up. Now don’t take what I say in the wrong way, but due to the barriers of language (the possibility for words, phrases, idioms, etc. to contain multiple subtle meanings), the archaic and particularly male way of problem solving, by simply “getting over it”, “rubbing dirt on it”, or simply ignoring that feelings and emotions or a problem even exists is what leads to what is known as neurosis. Neuroses are a set of behaviors and individual learns that causes one to seek out more emotional pain and instability. It is a negativity that feeds upon more negativity, and it likes to control you, by deceiving you. It makes you feel like you are powerless and that others are trying to manipulate your actions, to take advantage of your skills and how you feel and your nature as a person. It makes you believe things that are not true, this is known as delusional thinking, and it is not something you only hear about in schizophrenics, bipolars, nut jobs, crazies, or any of them. Oh no, it is something that at one time or another happens to everyone.
        So, how does your mind do this? How does your mind conspire to trick itself? It does so because you have a drive to survive. In order to keep you from wanting to end it all... It makes you want to end it all. It drives you away from others, it isolates you. It causes you to come up with ever more intricate plots that will get others away from you because the mind sees other people as the problem, not you. It can’t be you. The fact that you could be the one that is wrong is a thought that is either usually the first dismissed in a group of theories of what one thinks a problem is, or the last realization one has when they find out that the problem truly was them.
        By isolating you, your mind is trying to get you to analyze every bit of your life, to listen, it’s trying to put everything under a microscope. Is everyone against me? Was it what I said to her that made her leave me? When you are unable to come to the resolution yourself as to what the original cause of the issue was, things begin to spiral down, they degenerate wildly in a parabolic fashion. In order to stop this pain the mind becomes more and more desperate to solve the issue, so as the oxygen starts to get sucked out of you, you start to hyperventilate. You start spitting out idea after idea for what could be wrong, what is it? It starts to drive you insane, and it literally can unless you calm yourself, and realize that you have a problem in the first place.
        The mechanism for driving you from others and even yourself is for your negativities, insecurities, and fears to remain unconscious. If you can identify what you are afraid of, you can change this fear, and actually eventually stop feeling the sensation altogether. The first step? Turning the unconscious, conscious. Admitting you have a problem.
        That is the reason I am writing this paper. When you begin to feel the cold, unnerving hands of uncertainty. negativity and despair, ask yourself if you have a problem first, last, and over and over again. What goes hand in hand with this, usually, is recognizing what the problem is. However, this is not always so simple, especially if you have been dealing with an issue for a particularly long time. So, the second question should be, do I recognize what the issue is? If the answer is no, then realize that you’ve already answered the next question with “yes.” “Do I need help with my problem?” Yes, yes you do. Not only is it what your mind craves, that emotional catharsis, the reconciliation with one’s past emotional experiences and memories, but it’s what you deserve. In fact, it’s what all of humanity deserves. If we all were able to be healed and happy, just imagine the possibilities. That is why a world in which we help others achieve peace and happiness is a better world to live in, because its better for everybody, including good old you.
        The mind comes with a set of startup instructions, we once called them instincts but now (or the last time I took a psychology class) call them animalistic drives. These drives are provided by our genetic makeup, they are our boot up instructions for the proverbial computer program that is your conscious mind. Through conditioning, or repeated exposures to certain stimuli (objects, devices, etc. that can be perceived, felt, or sensed) and the demonstration of expected behavior, or actually performing the behavior ourselves followed by a form of reinforcement (reward, punishment, or even a lack of a response at all). This is how we learn. We can also unlearn behaviors, deprogram ourselves. The longer we have made use of the old way of learning, typically the more difficult it is to unlearn to behavior or reaction you get to a stimulus. This is possible by a process known as plasticity, which refers to the minds ability to adapt to a situation--to both learn and unlearn previous behaviors in order to continue its existence. This plasticity even allows us to deprogram our animalistic drives, which is plainly evident by the way we have progressed throughout history toward less violent means of achieving our ideas of peace. Of being more accepting to the differing perspectives, feelings, and cultures of other human beings. The less we reject, and the more we understand, and then make a conscious decision for taking action, the less gets transferred to the subconscious.

        Why are you afraid of death? Are you afraid of not experiencing anymore? If the answer is yes, ask yourself why. Any time the answer leads you to a negative emotion, ask yourself why once more. Is it because you are afraid it will hurt to die? Well, why is it scary to hurt? Is hurting not another way of telling you that something is wrong, of getting your attention before it’s too late? Pain is a tool, and a useful one at that. Is it because you want to keep experiencing life? If you are unable to experience life any more, will you be able to experience not experiencing? No, so there will be no pain. Is it because you fear losing what you love?
        Yes, for most of us the pain of loss is what drives us to fear. It is what creates nightmares, it is what makes you hurt on the inside. Why? Because the ones you love make you feel good. Why do you like to feel good? Because... It feels good. Is there anything wrong with feeling good? No (if you answer yes, follow my advice before, and ask yourself why, the obvious answer here should be no, but if you do not answer that way, do not hate yourself for it, that is the type of behavior that is causing this in the first place, so break the chain here please). So, out of curiosity, in the name of exploring ourselves, in the name of progress and even a bit of adventure, let’s ask why it’s okay to feel good. So, why is it okay to feel good? Rather than give the prototypical answers, let me give a negative response, it will make things more poignant, trust me on this one. It’s not okay to feel good. Why does you say that? Because feeling good can hurt others. Why does hurting others hurt you? Because hurting others makes me feel bad, makes them feel bad, makes us all feel bad. Why is it wrong to feel bad? Wait, is it? The answer in this case is no. It is not, you are allowed to feel bad. You are a human being that makes mistakes, who tries hard, who works, who sweats, who bleeds, who cries, who hurts others, who tries to make up for it, who fails, and who succeeds. There are ups and downs, and the downs are no worse than the ups, they only seem that way because based on your previous perspective, they just were.
        Things just being the way they are is why there is bigotry, hate, and misunderstanding in the world. And the answer is not to condemn those who suffer from this, because that would make you equally as guilty as they. The answer is to listen first and to seek to understand. Help somebody talk themselves through an issue, merely guide them toward the answer. They don’t just want you to give it to them, or even if they do, it is the difference between teaching a man to fish, and simply giving him your catches of the day. You are depriving that human being of the knowledge they need to survive, please, for your sake and theres, do not do this. Listen to them. Help them find their own answers. That is how we can help solve each others problems. It isn’t to lock people away in an asylum and tell them they’re crazy and beyond hope. That’s repression, that’s running away, that’s telling someone to “get over it”. What a slap to the face, what an insult to as a human being. “Get over it? Get over it? What do you know about getting over it? What could you possibly know about me?” Do you see what you have done with a simple statement of complete insensitivity? That person is not worth the time, they’re a lost cause, they are just a victim of the system. Know what that does? Bites you in the ass, usually in the most creative and least expected ways you can possibly imagine. Gangs start cropping up, black markets start running the economy, life becomes a game of backstabbing politics, trying to find out who you should brown nose the most so that when they aren’t looking you can thrust the knife in. Pink Floyd’s album Animals is work of art that discusses this very subject, bringing the initial difficult questions and hard truths to light, but then after exposing them, allowing us insight on the situation. In the song Dogs, they describe politicians, manipulators, or people in general that would seek to use and abuse you for their own purposes, in this very manner. And it points out very eloquently, that the weight you are used to having to throw around gets heavier and heavier as you get older, until one day you die, cold and alone, of a cancer, being dragged down by the stone. The cancer and the stone are your own doing, by working off of others’ trust, you started an idea in your mind that is highly infectious and more deadly than any cancer. Insecurity, you hurt others, so others are going to hurt you, and you can never trust people again. That knowledge becomes to much, and eventually dam is going to break, and when the flood of water comes pouring out, it can destroy every brick and stone you’ve put into place, your home, the village, the inhabitants, the mayor, your neighbors--you.

        We need to reinforce that their is hope for recovery, that the answer is just somewhere inside them, and that in the end everything is going to be okay. I think this group of poems summarizes the situation up pretty well:
      Pigs on The Wing (Part One):
      ”If you didn't care what happened to me,
      And I didn't care for you,
      We would zig zag our way through the boredom and pain
      Occasionally glancing up through the rain.
      Wondering which of the buggars to blame
      And watching for pigs on the wing.”

      Pigs on The Wing (Part Two):
      “You know that I care what happens to you,
      And I know that you care for me.
      So I don't feel alone,
      Or the weight of the stone,
      Now that I've found somewhere safe
      To bury my bone.
      And any fool knows a dog needs a home,
      A shelter from pigs on the wing.”

      These are the words and wisdom of my favorite band, Pink Floyd. I do not own the intellectual property of the lyrics, do not claim ownership over the ideas they mean to convey in any way, and if anybody profits directly from this paper not only is breaking the law, but is missing the entire point of what I just spent the last hour and a half writing about, and an entire life time thinking about. I do not believe that anyone will do so, but you have to understand that now that I just put that quote in this paper, I have to legally defend myself. So please, ask yourself why you feel the need to sell information that should be freely available anyway, maybe you’ll find out you’ve got a problem.

    2. #2
      Lurker tindove's Avatar
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      Jun 2015
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      I've been thinking about unrelenting empathy and forgiveness in the context of misogyny. I've been wondering if empathy could, or even should be extended to people (men) who are capable of dehumanizing other human beings(girls and women)-to the point that they feel no remorse for rapeing, murdering, or enslaving them. I'm not really convinced that condemning another human being to "lost cause" or "monster" lowers you to their level in cases like this. The rage and horror is justified. When people have probed into their mindset, into how they're capable of doing what they do.. it's just...bleak

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