Can You Fall In Love More Than Once?

[Neo Neo]

Ok, besides the arguements of "is love possible" and "scientifically what is love", i'm asking if it is possible for someone WHO HAS FALLEN IN LOVE ALREADY, to fall in love again? Again, my question: If someone has already fallen in love, can they fall in love again? Or is falling in love a one time thing? (talking about "true" love) Of course, topics and information regarding "what is love" and "scientifically what is love" may come up, but the main focus should be debating and answering my question.

[Chaos]

Going on your assumption that there is such a thing as true love, I believe that it would be possible to fall in love more than once. It would only make sense that if a person could find true love once, that it would be possible to find it again. Heres why: Lets say a person finds her true love, but then tragically loses him to some random catastrophe or act of violence, but then after however long it takes her to morne the death of her love, she would start to date again. Well, after a while, it seems like she would find someone that she loved who loved her back. I&#39;m not saying that everyone who was in love once could love again, but I am sure that at least some, if not most people could. Main Entry: 1love Pronunciation: &#39;l&v Function: noun Etymology: Middle English, from Old English lufu; akin to Old High German luba love, Old English lEof dear, Latin lubEre, libEre to please 1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> b : an assurance of love <give her my love> 2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion[/b] Sorry, I had to bring Webster into this. Anyway, basically the above feelings would count as love, so technically if you felt those for someone, then you experience true love.

[Patrick]

This is a great question Neo - and one that I've seriously thought about in the past. I remember feeling true love with my first girlfriend, and words can't describe how incredible it was. No sexual inclinations, just pure adoration. When she ended it I felt like a different person. In all my relationships since then, I've never been able to replicate that feeling of true love I had in my first. Maybe I just need to wait for the right person to show up for that feeling to return. But from my personal experience so far, the first time seems to be the best

[juroara]

I never understood why people think true love is about one person. Falling in love *in the belief of true love* doesnt mean you want to rip off their pants and screw them. It means you care about them unconditionally and have a strong desire to be with them. It means that when you are with them you feel happy, and you feel pain when they are not happy. Do you really think you can only feel this way for one person? What a small heart that is. I dont believe people when they say they only have the heart for one true love, I think people are conditioned into thinking true love is about one. And they see this as morally right and anything else as morally wrong. For example, some christians believe God wants them to love their husband or wife above all others - when there is actually nothing in the bible supporting people one person on a pedestal above all others. When you even mention to these christians that maybe they should love someone else as much as their own spouse they see this as blasphemy. Forsake all others right? I hardly see that portion of the vow christian. I think its perfectly possible to fall in love with more than one, and I dont see this as morally wrong - falling in love isnt necessarily a sexual experience. I know parents who admit they fell in love with thier children - and no they are not just saying lovey dovey things to sound like sweet parents. They went on to say the emotions their children gave them were more profound than the ones their own husband or wife gave them. And at the same time, Ive met parents who honestly admit that no they did not fall in love with their children and no their children did not necessarily fill them with joy. If your desire is to get married and have children, thats one thing. But when you just want true love in your life that never leaves you I think its important to understand that true love is not sexual. That person who can make you most happiest for example, can be a best friend, your sister, your brother. Its happened! These relationships can be intimate, even romantic. Problem is people put sex into everything not realizing romance actually for a long time was thought to be. . platonic. I mean, just think about some good romance stories - the romance is still there even without the sex. And I think it is sooooo important that people understand such feelings arent necessarily sexual. So many friendships had to be ended becuase of a jealous spouse when nothing was going on other than a wonderul friendship. The result? No one was happy, the two best friends who broke up because of a jealous spouse just suffered a blow to their heart as if losing a loved one *becuase they did, true friends are lovers you dont have sex with* and the jealous spouse is so confused they actually feel their own spouse was denying them love, which isnt true. This is the same kind of jealousy a first born child feels when there is a second born. Do you get rid of the second born child to prove to the first you still love them? In the belief that true love is only for one, you would. But true love only for one comes from this selfish jealous desire in the human heart, and a desire to own when really you can own no one. No, you dont get rid of the second child, rather the first child has to grow up and learn that the mother is free to love whomever - and this doesnt mean she loves the first child anyless. Infact, she can love the first child even more and more and more even if she has a third child. But the jealous spouse thinks that they own the love of their spouse, and that no one else can have it. But the truth is, hearts dont work like this. Love goes where it pleases and it doesnt care if we make a vow to keep it chained up in a little box. Love multiplies, not divides.

[Gwendolyn]

I've fallen in love more than once in my life. I think it also depends on how easily you let others into your heart....I am in love my fiance, but been in love with other guys before him, certainly.

[ExoByte]

I also think people confuse the idea of "true love" in a sense that those people have to be boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife. I feel I have experienced the idea of "true love," and the person is a friend. A very, very close friend whom I've known my whole life, since the day we were born.

[LucidDreamGod]

I think I've fallen in love about 8 times in my life, some much stronger then others usualy lasted half a year, and now the latest has lasted 3 years. There is really no diffrents between love and true love, if love is false then it's not love, the saying of "true" love comes from people who want more meaning in their relationships.

[MarcJR]

As they say, there's nothing like your first love, but that doesn't mean you can't experience true love again. I believe it to be true, although I also hold the belief that there is only one person for each of us who is 'the one'

[juroara]

As they say, there's nothing like your first love, but that doesn't mean you can't experience true love again. I believe it to be true, although I also hold the belief that there is only one person for each of us who is 'the one'[/b] thats sad. what a small heart. you realize that by believing that you are refusing to give your heart to someone unless you believe you have found that one? so many people walk away from a wonderful relationship out of the fear that maybe this wasnt the 'one' even though they trully loved that person. just sad. but whatever. if you want your heart to be so small as to only let one in then fine. I find this activity to be anti-christ, anti-God, anti-love.

[LucidDreamGod]

thats sad. what a small heart. you realize that by believing that you are refusing to give your heart to someone unless you believe you have found that one? so many people walk away from a wonderful relationship out of the fear that maybe this wasnt the 'one' even though they trully loved that person. just sad. but whatever. if you want your heart to be so small as to only let one in then fine. I find this activity to be anti-christ, anti-God, anti-love.[/b] I agree with juroara on this, if you keep thinking theres only one person you may also become depressed and you can't let go of them, you can be too attached to one thing, and why not be attracted to many over the period of a life time your chemistry probably matches millions of people out there, probably a person out there that would make for an incradible relationship who you will never meet

[MarcJR]

thats sad. what a small heart. you realize that by believing that you are refusing to give your heart to someone unless you believe you have found that one? so many people walk away from a wonderful relationship out of the fear that maybe this wasnt the 'one' even though they trully loved that person. just sad. but whatever. if you want your heart to be so small as to only let one in then fine. I find this activity to be anti-christ, anti-God, anti-love.[/b] & I find that very offensive. You've just gone & made an assumption upon my beliefs, almost telling me how I feel. Sorry but you have it all wrong. I believe there is a perfect match, 'the one',out there for everyone, but am I perfectly able to give my heart to someone I love. I would never live in fear of whether someone I loved or not wasn't 'the one', because love is too precious to just throw away like that. My first girlfriend, I loved her with all my heart, & I didn't know whether she was the one or not, but it didn't matter. What we had was very special & I treasure the time we spent together, even though it turns out she wasn't 'the one'. Anyway what im trying to say is it's just a nice ideal I hold, not something I rule my life by. If it was I would be a very lonely person, & i'm offended you just assumed that's how I was.

[MarcJR]

I agree with juroara on this, if you keep thinking theres only one person you may also become depressed and you can't let go of them, you can be too attached to one thing, and why not be attracted to many over the period of a life time your chemistry probably matches millions of people out there, probably a person out there that would make for an incradible relationship who you will never meet[/b] no, no, no. It's a nice ideal I hold, which I find romantic & it makes me happy to think there is a perfect match out there for me. It doesn't stop me having relationships, it stop me committing or giving my love to someone, it just makes me enjoy being in love more.

[LucidDreamGod]

& I find that very offensive. You've just gone & made an assumption upon my beliefs, almost telling me how I feel. Sorry but you have it all wrong. I believe there is a perfect match, 'the one',out there for everyone, but am I perfectly able to give my heart to someone I love. I would never live in fear of whether someone I loved or not wasn't 'the one', because love is too precious to just throw away like that. My first girlfriend, I loved her with all my heart, & I didn't know whether she was the one or not, but it didn't matter. What we had was very special & I treasure the time we spent together, even though it turns out she wasn't 'the one'. Anyway what im trying to say is it's just a nice ideal I hold, not something I rule my life by. If it was I would be a very lonely person, & i'm offended you just assumed that's how I was.[/b] Well I'm sure there are many people who it would all work out with, by you saying the one I thought you ment there is only one person who you think it could be successful with, you probably ment that we all will have at least one person who it works out with.

[MarcJR]

Well I'm sure there are many people who it would all work out with, by you saying the one I thought you ment there is only one person who you think it could be successful with, you probably ment that we all will have at least one person who it works out with.[/b] Yeah that's more along the lines of what I meant. It makes me happy thinking that way. All the relationships I have had so far didn't end so well, so I find it a comfort that there is someone I can love & who will love me back, & we could spend our lives together.

[juroara]

Yeah that's more along the lines of what I meant. It makes me happy thinking that way. All the relationships I have had so far didn't end so well, so I find it a comfort that there is someone I can love & who will love me back, & we could spend our lives together.[/b] there are a lot more people whom you can spend your life with, love with and love you back than just one. but you will never know or meet these people if you settle that there is no one else in the world for you. sorry, I just find this mentality "there is only one person for me" the most anti-love idea on earth. I have no respect for this mentality. its people like this who have no problem on their wedding day to 'vow' to 'forsake all others', yeah romantic. loving? no.

[LucidDreamGod]

there are a lot more people whom you can spend your life with, love with and love you back than just one. but you will never know or meet these people if you settle that there is no one else in the world for you. sorry, I just find this mentality "there is only one person for me" the most anti-love idea on earth. I have no respect for this mentality. its people like this who have no problem on their wedding day to 'vow' to 'forsake all others', yeah romantic. loving? no.[/b] I think he ment everyone has a special person, that is waiting for them at some time in their lives.

[Neo Neo]

I think he ment everyone has a special person, that is waiting for them at some time in their lives.[/b] Marc is along my same line of thought; i hold the idea that there is one special person out there meant for you, although you can go out and succeed with other people. But thinking that there is just one "special person" is not inherently negative or heartless. Its what emotions you have behind it (in my opinion) that make it "negative" or "positive". This idea does not limit your ability to go out unless you let it. And for the subject of lifelong vows; most people are not "truley" in love and therefore are unable to be as committed as people with stronger emotions/people are are truley in love. For example: you can live someone SO MUCH, but what about loving them? in the terms i think of love, love is when you'd do anything for that person, and that that feeling is mutual. Love is when people feel what each other feel, and that they just shine and glow with each other like no other relationship they've had. the feelings are longterm; those emotions stay with you. i bring this question of "can you love again" because i also imply that feelings of "true love" are so strong that they are the only person in your heart. is this selfish? is this wrong? is this obsessive? that of course depends on WHO the person is, and HOW they would handle that situation. people are dynamic and will have varying ideas on how to handle this. what i am saying, is that true love to me is when you feel the most lightest happy carefree feeling ever when youre with the person, then you feel so incomplete without them. i do not see the point of saying "love" and impying that you can fall in in love over and over again because i see "love" as being the ultimate emotion: its not something that can be moved on from quickly. anyway, thats the core of my point that i'd like to affirm.

[juroara]

im against obessive and selfish love. for example, so many people claim they truly love someone but feel hatred for them if they marry someone else. true love should be unconditional. selfish obsessive love may be more romantic but it less true in my opinion. its all about how someone makes YOU feel, what someone does for YOU rather than how much you are willing to sacrafice for another without any promise of recieving any love back I would rather feel complete without another, this way when I love someone its not becuase of some selfish reason that they complete you. think about it. obessive selfish love means you are will not give your heart to someone if they dont do for you - you. . you you you you you you. what if they cant do for you? how many couples who love eachother fall apart becuase they spend the entire time judging what they do for eachother, even refusing to do for eachother until the other does. people like this learn selfless love when they have children, but that selflessness needs to be applied to romance or romance is not 'true love'. the more obsessive romance is, the more likely the relationship will end. when I mean falling in love again, I do not mean falling out of love with the same person, but growing your love to fit more in your heart. its not a game of jumping from person to person, but a means of continously gaining more. a heart that only fits one is static and is not growing *im against this spiritually* but whatever. people only care to find someone who makes them happy. they only care for the most selfish love, rather than the most selfless. there is nothing wrong with finding someone who makes you happy, its only wrong however if you mislabel your romance as true love - when true love is selfless not selfish.

[LucidDreamGod]

im against obessive and selfish love. for example, so many people claim they truly love someone but feel hatred for them if they marry someone else. true love should be unconditional. selfish obsessive love may be more romantic but it less true in my opinion. its all about how someone makes YOU feel, what someone does for YOU rather than how much you are willing to sacrafice for another without any promise of recieving any love back I would rather feel complete without another, this way when I love someone its not becuase of some selfish reason that they complete you. think about it. obessive selfish love means you are will not give your heart to someone if they dont do for you - you. . you you you you you you. what if they cant do for you? how many couples who love eachother fall apart becuase they spend the entire time judging what they do for eachother, even refusing to do for eachother until the other does. people like this learn selfless love when they have children, but that selflessness needs to be applied to romance or romance is not 'true love'. the more obsessive romance is, the more likely the relationship will end. when I mean falling in love again, I do not mean falling out of love with the same person, but growing your love to fit more in your heart. its not a game of jumping from person to person, but a means of continously gaining more. a heart that only fits one is static and is not growing *im against this spiritually* but whatever. people only care to find someone who makes them happy. they only care for the most selfish love, rather than the most selfless. there is nothing wrong with finding someone who makes you happy, its only wrong however if you mislabel your romance as true love - when true love is selfless not selfish.[/b] I don't think selfish love exists, thats not the right word to use I think. the more obsessive romance is, the more likely the relationship will end.[/b] I don't think thats true, maybe if one or the other is but that would mean the other person who wasn't romantic probably didn't pick the right person

[Xei]

I think, for the purposes of my argument, you can restate 'you can only fall in love once' as 'there is only one person you can fall in love with'. Now think; there are a lot of people in love. But how many people do you meet in your lifetime? And by meeting, I mean, be able to have contact with, get to know that person, etcetera. If you look at that as a percentage of the global population, any one of whom could be your 'only love', it's very small. So, basically, the probability of anybody encountering their only love is very slim, but the large amount of people who are in love means it's pretty much certain that either -There is such a thing as fate and hence probability is bypassed, or -The above argument is false and you can fall in love more than once. Looking at it from an even more philosophical and theoretical viewpoint. Say you were in love, with somebody. But then that person were to suddenly vanish. But then you meet an (for all intents and purposes) exact copy of your love, molecule for molecule. Surely you would fall in love again? It's ludicrously hypothetical perhaps, but it makes the point, I think.

[MarcJR]

im against obessive and selfish love. for example, so many people claim they truly love someone but feel hatred for them if they marry someone else. true love should be unconditional. selfish obsessive love may be more romantic but it less true in my opinion. its all about how someone makes YOU feel, what someone does for YOU rather than how much you are willing to sacrafice for another without any promise of recieving any love back I would rather feel complete without another, this way when I love someone its not becuase of some selfish reason that they complete you. think about it. obessive selfish love means you are will not give your heart to someone if they dont do for you - you. . you you you you you you. what if they cant do for you? how many couples who love eachother fall apart becuase they spend the entire time judging what they do for eachother, even refusing to do for eachother until the other does. people like this learn selfless love when they have children, but that selflessness needs to be applied to romance or romance is not 'true love'. the more obsessive romance is, the more likely the relationship will end. when I mean falling in love again, I do not mean falling out of love with the same person, but growing your love to fit more in your heart. its not a game of jumping from person to person, but a means of continously gaining more. a heart that only fits one is static and is not growing *im against this spiritually* but whatever. people only care to find someone who makes them happy. they only care for the most selfish love, rather than the most selfless. there is nothing wrong with finding someone who makes you happy, its only wrong however if you mislabel your romance as true love - when true love is selfless not selfish.[/b] juroara, I feel sorry for you, I really do. I find your views on love very narrow minded & feel that you don't understand at all what I was trying to say. There are many different kinds of love, but none are less valid or real. There is obsession in love, selfishness too. Love is not always an easy ride, but that is what makes it so special. Everything needs to be balanced out, you can't have all good or all bad. If you expect there to only be positive things in a relationship you are holding yourself back. And please, its okay to have your opinion, & to feel strongly about it, but you need to accept not everyone carries the same views as you. You are saying your view IS how it is, rather than saying this is how I feel. It's not fair to force your opinions upon people like that. I'm not going to post anymore in this thread anyway. I feel that people are looking into love far too deeply. Love is different for everyone, it is an emotion, so there is no right or wrong way to feel, remember that.

[xcrissxcrossx]

This is a great question Neo - and one that I've seriously thought about in the past. I remember feeling true love with my first girlfriend, and words can't describe how incredible it was. No sexual inclinations, just pure adoration. When she ended it I felt like a different person. In all my relationships since then, I've never been able to replicate that feeling of true love I had in my first. Maybe I just need to wait for the right person to show up for that feeling to return. But from my personal experience so far, the first time seems to be the best [/b] I agree 100%.

[Rainman]

I think there are infinitley different answers to this question, because it's very much dependant on what your idea of true love is. I have experienced true love twice. In my opinion love does not go away and is unconditional. In my opinion, true love cannot be defined by a set of actions. You just know when that's what it is. I have only experienced it twice. For other people it may be a one time thing, because they consider it so sacred a thing, that they understand that their mind may be telling them things that either they don't accept as love or they know really isn't love. I don't know how to explain that better...sorry! On the other hand, there are people that claim they have been in love 25 times in their life. The person who has only been in love once may accuse the 25 times person of not really having been in love. Many would say "that's not love, it's enfatuation. And that may be true, in relation to the original person's views. I guess what I'm tyring to say is that the idea of love is different to everyone. No one can set a standard for what love is, because it's different to different people. To other people, my love may be considered something less than love. But it's really all about what you think love is. I believe one can fall in love more than once, certainly. But that's according to my belief of what love is. What do you all think?

[Universal Mind]

I've known plenty of people who have met the "LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!" about ten times each. I knew one woman who met a new love of her life every few months. One of my former friends has been in an intense relationship for the past 20 years, but the woman changes every few years. I've been obsessively in love with five women. It's very possible. It happens all the time. It's just a hormonal state.

[Neruo]

I don´t think this is supposed to be in this forum. Anyhow: Yes. You can fall in love two times. There is no reason you can not. Look at it trough evolution or something. There isn't a 'one true love' or something, just hot bitches. Multiple. (you get the point).