Thread: What would you say if you ended up in hell?

Originally Posted by malac

Some would say yes. What would I do with an army that cannot kill or torture?

But they're already torturing you, and you cannot die. And what you do with the army is up to you. I'd put them to work by keeping any guards busy, then use the rest to construct a way out of hell.

Sssoooo, if we accept this "hell" thing for a moment... and I'm not talking about the "sane" hell that more level-headed people talk about (specific state your soul is in, etc.), but rather, of the cartoonish "lake of fire with devil dude, where people suffer for eternity" that the fear-mongering types use to scare themselves and messup their children...

I never quite wrapped my head around the dynamic between the souls that went to hell, god, and the devil. I mean, there is just so much DRAMA going on here...

God and satan are enemies, right? And god sends people (who he allegedly loves, but never mind that) to hell, right? Does this mean that Satan doesn't hate god so much that he would assemble an unholy army to overthrow heaven? So like, the devil hatred-o-meter would look like this:

THING --> HATRED SCORE
---------------------------
SINNERS --> 1000
GOD --> 900

?

Originally Posted by Jeff777

Fuck.

What a mean God!

Originally Posted by Mediabat

What a mean God!

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

This is good stuff if you haven't seen it.

I had to watch the whole thing after seeing that video. I'm glad there are people like Rowan Atkinson in the world to make us laugh.

Originally Posted by Heavy Sleeper

I had to watch the whole thing after seeing that video. I'm glad there are people like Rowan Atkinson in the world to make us laugh.

Yeah he's awesome

" Seriously? What the hell man"

oh damm, the bi- AHHH AH HOLY SHIT OW OW SHIT OW AHHHHH STOP IT AHHH OW OW

'I wish i was more naughty when I was alive.'

So sex is evil, right?

Originally Posted by AlienDiplomat

So sex is evil, right?

Unmarried sex is. Or sex with a condom. Or anything that isn't the missionary position.
That's right, doggy style gets you a one way ticket to Hell.

Originally Posted by AlienDiplomat

So sex is evil, right?

It's a well-known fact that the church has sought to sexually repress people by demonizing masturbation, porn, unmarried sex etc. You know what? I bet the world would be a lot less fucked up if it was written in the bible that Jesus had sexual relationships with many women throughout his journey. Then perhaps "holy rollers" wouldn't try and hold themselves to such dumb ass "holier than thou" standards just because they haven't beat off or flicked their beans for 30 years.

Mary Magdalene was left out because they didn't want it to look like the only woman Jesus could get was a prostitute.

Originally Posted by Jeff777

It's a well-known fact that the church has sought to sexually repress people by demonizing masturbation, porn, unmarried sex etc.

Circumcision ruined my life. =(

Originally Posted by AlienDiplomat

Circumcision ruined my life. =(

Why do you let it? Most women don't really care, and studies have shown that male orgasms typically differ by very little. If it really bugs you, there is something called foreskin restoration that'll fix it right up.

Originally Posted by Mario92

Why do you let it? Most women don't really care, and studies have shown that male orgasms typically differ by very little. If it really bugs you, there is something called foreskin restoration that'll fix it right up.

I appreciate the sentiment and don't mean to thread hijack. Unfortunately, this misconception has been debunked by modern science. Plus - I - care.

Up to 60% of the sensitive nerves involved in pleasure and tactile control are completely removed forever. It isn't just skin, its where most male sensation actually resides, and where much of the intimacy of lovemaking occurs, which is about much more than finally orgasm. The procedure you talk about I have looked into, and it just puts plain skin over it which is essentially just making things worse, more unnatural, and is just really gross in general.

I seriously wonder what religious lunatic ever imagined doing such a thing was a good idea, or what doctor with any integrity in their Hippocratic oath would not see amputating the primary sexual function of a defenseless child, removing what nature evolved over millions of years, was somehow "not doing harm."

I would suspect it was more about forcing you to suffer in sex except for puritanical "sex is evil" procreation, and to create defeated slaves, as is most of that horrible religious crap mankind still suffers with. I find it telling we so readily condemn a similar mutilation performed on infant girls in third world countries, yet close to 80% of America babies had this done to them as recently as the 1980s.

Sorry, again. I just don't have anyone I can talk to about it. And while girls might not care, my fiance certainly noticed. It is what inevitably caused us to drift apart. I'm glad for those who are able to overcome and find some peace in spite of what these despicable tyrants do to us every day, as infants who can't even defend themselves.

Back on topic... Hey, this post was actually an answer to the OP! Because I feel like I already am... And this is what I'm saying.

God, that's terrible. Sorry about that, man.

As for staying on topic, "Cool, that girl I like said she'd have sex with me the day this place freezes over!"

I would say "Well this doesn't surprise me." Then rise up against the dick who put me there. I would do this by realizing the truth "why should this 'Being' be able to have power over me?" "I should be able to be just as powerful as this so called 'God' in this plane of existence". I would treat it like a Lucid Dream and become the new god and get rid of this so called "Hell". I would then try to resist becoming a power hungry dick and acting like the previous "God." Now that I think of this idea, I wonder how many times this has been done. Maybe heaven just used to be a higher plane of existence, then one of the souls was like "Hey maybe I can be in control." Then he created a lesser plane of existence (Our current universe). Then he took all of the souls in his plane and made them lesser in this new plane he created. He got more power hungry and then created hell next, so he could put all of the souls who don't worship him there. Lucifer then saw this as wrong and challenged God, God then banished him to hell (he can leave when he wants because he has realized the truth like I said, he is just waiting for his time to strike). Next God got some people to write the bible, then some lunatic named Jesus thought he was Gods son and got crucified. This is how our "God" came to be. So when we get into our "Gods" plane of existence we are equal and can take control. Damn that was pretty good, I should write a novel or something. I bet I pissed off a lot of christians just now. I know if my mom read that she would freak out. My parents don't know I recently went agnostic.

Originally Posted by bradysdreaming

, then some lunatic named Jesus thought he was Gods son and got crucified.

Lmao

Damn that was pretty good, I should write a novel or something.

but no.

Say "Its about time! ARGGHHH!" then jump into the shores of hell, kill some demons, come out on the other side, and truly become TO TOUGH FOR HELL.

Originally Posted by Jeff777

It's a well-known fact that the church has sought to sexually repress people by demonizing masturbation, porn, unmarried sex etc. You know what? I bet the world would be a lot less fucked up if it was written in the bible that Jesus had sexual relationships with many women throughout his journey. Then perhaps "holy rollers" wouldn't try and hold themselves to such dumb ass "holier than thou" standards just because they haven't beat off or flicked their beans for 30 years.

Maybe that's why they left out a rather large part of Jesus' life...You know, everything after his birth but before he was ~30 years old?

Basically, Jesus was getting it in.

Originally Posted by malac

Lmao


but no.