Wow, good stuff, guys. I'm in the mood, so...
"Oh no!" exclaimed the janitor in mock despair as the pencil dripped orange soda over the hot nurse. "Now I'll have to get the circular saw!" The nurse looked on in what sounded like detached distaste, secretly very aroused at the phallic symbolism of the pencil's eraser. But it was not to be. Suddenly, a large green Wookiee stuck his butt through the door and yelled, "What do you think you're sanding in here?!" in Gaelic. Having no response, the janitor guiltily wiped the sweat from his brow with a desk, and arrogantly curled up in the fetal position on the ceiling. The smoking hot nurse, having no other way to put out her fire now that the pencil had finished its soda, jumped out of the window into the lake, sending a cloud of steam exploding out.
Seeing this with his anus, the Wookiee decided enough was enough: it was time to call Barney, the purple dinosaur. He would know what to do. Sure enough, it wasn't long before Barney arrived at the scene, sparkly pink baton in one paw, Husqvarna chainsaw in the other. With one quick sweep of his huge evilly glowing eyes, Barney assessed the situation with ease. "I have to make a telephone call!" he stated exuberantly. "Come on, kids, let's go make a telephone call, like a big happy family!" With this, he skipped off to the phone, and immediately dialed up Elton John. "Hey there, Friend! I'm getting together a huuuuuge orgy and thought you'd like to join! Seeeee you soon!!!"
Then, with one last look at the green Wookiee, he skipped off to ready the KY Jelly pool. He couldn't wait to enjoy the homosexual orgy he was going to have after he finished slaughtering all the staff of the children's hospital and filming another episode of his television show to aid in his plan to take over the world by indoctrinating the minds of children. With a great big hug from him to us, he leaped atop the still steaming nurse in the lake, revved his chainsaw, and began cutting. As blood spattered everywhere, he chortled in glee and hopped up to find the janitor, and that pesky Wookiee, chainsaw still running, spitting gruesome chunks of nurse across the parking lot.
Meanwhile, in another part of the globe, Kermit the Frog was in a spot of trouble. He was stuck on a desert island in the middle of the Caribbean, and had resorted to eating his own stuffing after nine days of no food. But that's a story for another time...
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