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    1. #1
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      Talking The Top 8 Morons!

      The Top 8 Morons!!

      1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
      AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

      2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
      Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up!'

      3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
      An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

      4. THE GETAWAY!
      A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

      5. DID I SAY THAT???
      Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'.

      6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
      A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'

      7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
      In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!


      8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!
      Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
      NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.
      Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!


      .
      Last edited by Clairity; 03-11-2008 at 08:15 PM.

    2. #2
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      I wuv you Clarity

      You made me RolF!

    3. #3
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      Quote Originally Posted by Seismosaur View Post
      I wuv you Clarity

      You made me RolF!
      I'm glad (and I wuv you back)!

    4. #4
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      Quote Originally Posted by Clairity View Post
      I'm glad (and I wuv you back)!
      Yey!

    5. #5
      Veteran of the DV Wars Man of Steel's Avatar
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      Hahahaha!!! Those are too great! Hilarious stuff.

      Where do you find this stuff, Clairity?

    6. #6
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      Quote Originally Posted by Man of Steel View Post
      Where do you find this stuff, Clairity?
      I have friends who send them to me!

    7. #7
      I has a bucket suttsman's Avatar
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      That made me lol, and the librarians heard me and now I'm gonna get thrown out. I hope you're happy.

      Ah well, see you guys when I get home (a good half hour)

      Signature skilled by ClouD
      Quote Originally Posted by Oscar
      ...so you went to italy and you didnt even see the eiffel tower?

    8. #8
      "O" will suffice. Achievements:
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      Oneironaut Zero's Avatar
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      I like the one where the guy in the line-up goes "THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID!!"

      Hilarious.
      http://i.imgur.com/Ke7qCcF.jpg
      (Or see the very best of my journal entries @ dreamwalkerchronicles.blogspot)

    9. #9
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      Quote Originally Posted by suttsman View Post
      Ah well, see you guys when I get home (a good half hour)

    10. #10
      Xox
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      Hilarious!

      Number 2 had me laughing for minutes.

    11. #11
      bite me Mitzie's Avatar
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      LOL! I agree with Oneironaut.

      That was so awesome.

    12. #12
      無駄だ~! GestaltAlteration's Avatar
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      Oh man! The trailer! bit was hilarious! Thanks Clairity!

    13. #13
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      It's hard to believe some of these are real, but then again, maybe not... considering all the stupid people out there.

      The second one is great! LOL

    14. #14
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      wow thanks Clairity, you always make me smile by doing something!

      those people are American im assuming (so am i but..w/e)

      #2 was funny as hell, lol he could of gotten away
      I would rather die on my feet then to live on my knees.

    15. #15
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      Reminds me of an incident that happened a few years ago at my sister's old apartment. I was spending the night at her place, so my sister was there, her boyfriend, their daughter, her boyfriend's best friend and myself. They smoke cigarettes but have a "butt" can outside. It was the middle of the night and we heard sirens, and they were getting closer and closer. There was a knock on the front door. It was a fireman, with others around him, and another running up the stairs with an ax!!! We all had to evacuate, but they couldn't find the fire. Then Josh, my bro-in-law's friend, noticed that the smoke was coming from the cigarette can... I felt very safe going to bed that night knowing the firemen walked right past the fire, more than once!

    16. #16
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      Quote Originally Posted by meggyfayephotography View Post
      Reminds me of an incident that happened a few years ago at my sister's old apartment. I was spending the night at her place, so my sister was there, her boyfriend, their daughter, her boyfriend's best friend and myself. They smoke cigarettes but have a "butt" can outside. It was the middle of the night and we heard sirens, and they were getting closer and closer. There was a knock on the front door. It was a fireman, with others around him, and another running up the stairs with an ax!!! We all had to evacuate, but they couldn't find the fire. Then Josh, my bro-in-law's friend, noticed that the smoke was coming from the cigarette can... I felt very safe going to bed that night knowing the firemen walked right past the fire, more than once!

      omg!!!!!!!!!!! thats freakin hilarious!!!

      clairity, #2 is the best! lol

      Adopted By: Luminous


      Party Time!

    17. #17
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      hahahaha this was hilarious.



      I thought it was gonna be about MySpace retards though lolol

    18. #18
      Electro's the way to be Soldier's Avatar
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      this sounds just like my radio station's what are you kidding me stories of the day lol if you sent these to them im sure they'd air it.

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