Thread: :D Omegle!!! :D

Spoiler for crazy guy, lol?:

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: hi
Stranger: yes
You: no
Stranger: sure
You: maybe
Stranger: condom?
You: who?
Stranger: frank said so
You: knock knock
Stranger: always
You: what?
You: when did frank say so?
Stranger: 15 years ago...on his birthday...you dont remaber you were sitting rite there next to daryl and his fiance
You: no?
Stranger: sphincter?
You: who?
You: are you done yet?
Stranger: popcorn disco
Stranger: frog cordiroy...dance a jig why dont ya, ya fuck, get out of there before santa comes to take you to his dungeon
You: santa has a dungeon now?
You: so thats where he keeps the presents!
Stranger: no thats where he keeps his male prostitutes...the presents...he ends up selling for meth and heroin
You: that makes sense
You: i think im done here.
You: bye.
You have disconnected.

Gatronomical delights:

Spoiler for foodilicious:

Stranger: whats for dinner
You: cherry soup and buttered peas
Stranger: strange
You: mindboggelingly
Stranger: whats for dessert
You: roasted chicken feet with lime fudge
Stranger: ok,and for drink
You: pan-galactic gargleblaster
Stranger: might need a doctor after
You: yes, indeed you do
Stranger: i think you need to design a new menu
You: hmm... why?
Stranger: you think peoplewill come to a restaurant to the above
You: oh yes... though most of our customers are redirected from the suicide hotline.
Stranger: ha ha could be suited for them might make them changed their mind
You: yes... we give them something to live for
You: or grant their wish... about 50/50
Stranger: sounds cool. any ideas for a kids menu?
You: oh yes... 2 sec
Stranger: you see want to change whats for lunch at the school i work
You: we have a cheese-roll watered in the tears of little children, with a bowl of grass for dessert
You: oh, i see
Stranger: something to calm themdown, kids are so rude, so loud,sonaughty
You: i would suggest morphine
You: or marijuana
Stranger: calm down, not get them more hyped up
You: neither of them makes kids hyper
Stranger: need something to keep their little mouths shut
You: epoxy on the lips sould work
Stranger: and then how do make sure i still keep my job
You: blame the video-games
Stranger: i always say that in the staff room, parents, videos, psps,tv
Stranger: ive got a trip to the zoo next week with my class
You: They'll probably feel right at home then
Stranger: maybe some will want to stay and not come back
You: yes, though they don't nessecarily have to not want to go back... you could just... "forget" them
Stranger: thats hardto do because have to count 30 into the zoo and count 30 out.
Stranger: 30 onto the train and 30 off the train
You: smuggle some chimpanzees... they'll never notice the difference
Stranger: ha ha ha nice one
Stranger: i just want the holidays to come

After that we just started to discuss how vivid the imagination of little kids are...

EDIT: Talked to another one, all on rhyme....

Spoiler for poetic...:

Stranger: Like the sky
Stranger: I
Stranger: I'm so fly
Stranger: And btw I'm a guy
Stranger: Don't be shy
You: so am i
Stranger: Eat my pie...hole
You: did your imagination run dry?
Stranger: Not all, not gunna lie.
You: poetic morons, may they all die
Stranger: Except me, cuz I have nice eyes
You: eyes does'nt rhyme with die, i cry
Stranger: If you shorten my name, then it becomes Ri
You: your poetic prowess is nothing but a lame joke
not a word of wisdom or intellect you spoke
Stranger: Dude don't mess with me or your throat I'll choke
Stranger: Now let me enjoy myself, with my chips and coke.
You: All these rhymes are all the same
so have a nice day, you just lost the game

This is cool, but I think we thought of it first here, well, Xox did.

http://www.zomegle.com/

From what I've seen so far, we could teach these people a thing or two.

There are several of those sites, like www.omegleconversations.com for instance. there was one that had some pretty good ones, but I can't find it anymore.

Edit:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: heyhey
You: Hwy, you.
You: Been looking for you for weeks!
Stranger: is that so!
You: Yes!
You: Where the hell have you been?
You: I was worried sick!
Stranger: I've been sitting scared, waiting for stranger to find me!
Stranger: And you did!
You: Stranger?
You: Is that how you think of me now?
Stranger: you are stranger
Stranger: jeez
Stranger: =-O
You: WE WERE FRIENDS, ONCE!'
Stranger: And then you abandoned me
Stranger: :')
Stranger: :'(**
You: *breaks into theatrical, overtly dramatic sobbing*
You: It wasn't my fault!
Stranger: We're not here to play the blame game.
You: Your father said he'd shoot me!
Stranger: Well, I am. I'm blaming you for leaving me
Stranger: :'(
Stranger: Trying to put this on my father
You: He looked serious, he had the shotgun loaded.
Stranger: He wasn't gonna shoot you, I don't think...
Stranger: :-/
Stranger: I gotta rethink this.
Stranger: Why, did you threaten to shoot him?
You: You know him better than I do, I guess.
You: No!
You: He said it was a relationship destined for failure.
You: And that my balls were his.
Stranger: Holy shit you're a guy! OH NO!!!
Stranger: *head explodes*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: tach
You: I'll give you 10 reasons why you fail at life.
You: 1. You're on omegle.
You: 2. You have no girlfriend
You: 3. You are a closet tranny
You: 4. Your parents kicked you out when you were young
You: 5. You do drugs
You: 6. You sell drugs
You: 7. You're an alcoholic
You: 8. You got caught having sex with your sister when you were 10
You: 9. You got caught having sex with a rabbi when you were were 15
You: 10. You're on omegle.
Stranger: wait I musst translated
You: LMFAO
You have disconnected.

Hehe Jeff.

Kiza will appreciate thith one:

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: Ji
Stranger: hi
You: Kan wu direck mi tu thi restruum?
Stranger: what?
You: Can you direct me to the restroom?
You: Thorry, I have a thpeeth impediment.
Stranger: yaya..
Stranger: where are you from~? `
You: Thay, are you a thpethial kinf of perthon?
You: I'm from Uberwald.
Stranger: you person ? ? ? or com..?
You: I am, generally thpeaking, theveral perthons.
You: Thewed together.
You: Very tathtfully done, though, I atthure you.
You: My name ith Igor.
Stranger: i....am not speak eng...sorry i try again..
You: Your Morporkian ith ruthty?
You: Tho ith mine, no worrieth.
Stranger: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: im 16 f looking for a lesbian friend ur m/f?
You: im actually both
Stranger: F?
You: and M
Stranger: u?m?
You: yes...and F
Stranger: pic?
Stranger: i don't believe u
You: what, you want a picture of my genitalias
You: ?
Stranger: ur face
You: how will my face prove if im both M and F?
Stranger: i don't believe ur a female
You: why not?
Stranger: pic?
You: no, you've insulted me with your non-belief. i demand a reason behind your logic
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A WILD ABRA APPEARS!
Stranger: pokemon?
You: WILD ABRA ATTACKS STRANGER!
Stranger: Haven't seen/played that in awhile
You: WILD ABRA USES RAPE ON STRANGER!
You: VERY EFFECTIVE!
Stranger: Nope, I have my butt plug in, you cannot rape me
You: WILE ABRA TELEPORTS!
You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

You: Hello and welcome to the Cuban Office of Cigar Knowledge. You are currently speaking with the head of the Renovations and Overnight Acquisitions of Cigar Humidors division. Juan de la Corta speaking. How may we assist you today?
Stranger: I need
You: Yes, sir?
Stranger: a blue cifar
Stranger: *cigar
Stranger: with cocacola flavour
You: This can be arranged. Here at COCKROACH we provide the best cigars and knowledge base on cigars in the world.
You: Would you care for a free brochure?
Stranger: Yes of course
Stranger:do you speak spanish?
Stranger: (if you are from Cuba)
You: Of course, sir, but this chat is in English. I am currently on a company laptop without a multilingual keyboard, as well.
You: Please provide me with your address and name for the brochure, sir.
Stranger: C/ Sin escaleras. n`6, 9 left
6666 Sube como puedas (SPAIN)
You: Thank you, sir. One moment while I nput this into the system.
Stranger: ok, I will wait
You: How would you rate your experience with COCKROACH so far, sir? On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being the least satisfactory and 10 being the most satisfactory.
Stranger: 5.
You: What can I do to further increase your customer satisfaction regarding your interaction with us here at COCKROACH, sir?
Stranger: You should speak in another languages, and offer gifts
You: Well, sir, we do offer a free House cigar with ever purchase of three or more Cuba Libre brand humidors.
You: every*
You: You will see this in our brochure, sir.
You: Is there anything else I can help you with sir?
You: I do have a quota to keep up. Also I should tell you that this chat is being logged for quality control and legal reasons.
Stranger: I'm thinking about it
You: Well, sir, I have to move on to the next customer now, but thank you for choosing COCKROACH for all your cigar and humidor products and information needs. The brochure will be mailed first thing in the morning.
You: Good day to you, sir.
You have disconnected.

Spoiler for My Dadaistic Chat:

Omegle
Talk to strangers!
3139 users online
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: Y, helo thar. Butseks?
You: I greet the forbidden DVD case under a yellow watch.
Stranger: great
You: Fleeing the hidden tomes of the afternoon, I embark upon the lofty quest for a popcorn maker from the golden lightswitch.
Stranger: i do that on sunday
You: "Sell the fender!" says the bulletin. "Coerce the cord by removing the halfway-eaten plank from under the keyhole."
Stranger: haha i made that
You: Will you keep the lovely orange wave of pink from playing my marimba? It loves my seven pens and I can't buy a scrapbooking wife for a shilling!
Stranger: only 3 shillings
You: Before you consider my offer, a fence was discovered to be a wandering wall of clean laundry cascading out from a colorful power cord. The conversation converted callously.
Stranger: oh that makes sense
You: Gangrene ate my dingo. Can a veteranarian fix the hole in my broken Chevy?
Stranger: only if hes smart
You: Crown jewels await the bank statement after the beaded necklace falls through the watery paper of my novel's gender confusion. Seek the wandering snowglobe.
Stranger: oh i already have that
You: For fools underestimate the anime's lost fan. Propellers spinning with lilac candles in boxes of peace lillies. The stench covers the plastic face.
Stranger: that sounds bad
You: A razor for your sleeping bag, the witch told a wrist.
Stranger: what did she say?
You: The fungus growing on a fly's back shall sink to the ironing board. You shall suffer through VHS tapes monotony and a three-hole punch gliding across the savannah.
Stranger: Oh yeah i saw that one
You: A mess of charms carpet along the glass as it breaks open a paint chip, thrusting Chopin into a tizzy.
Stranger: i say this goes on funny junk.com
You: My lead!
Stranger: i falow!
You: See that it does not tarnish. Diamonds pierce the skin and cardboard chokes the animal's spark plugs.
Stranger: animals have spark plugs?
You: Onigiri satiates the phone book, but don't tell Lucius. Ten and ten and a merchant cone beat the robber to the barbarian chip.
Stranger: Hahaha i have no idea why your saying this stuff
You: Fizzgig melts the nail. Be a radish. It will bleed out the marker.
Stranger: ....... -_8
You: Gorgons on Microsoft Office generate the snow to power the glue gun. A readier audience is arriving on the head of a pin cushion flown by a CD-ROM.
Stranger: Senses are that of which pigs spend on toe nails
You: Approval of the hot iron throws a chair upon the mare.
Stranger: Once i heard
Stranger: I AM KIRA
You: Chaikovskiy fritters away the white pegs from my Etch-a-Sketch and I am loathe to admit her gum is painting my sofa a lovely shade of mushroom.
Stranger: FUCK YOU L!!
You: L stood with an orchid, smiling at the cookbook as a marmoset smiled.
Stranger: then mikami came in and DELETED YOU
You: Unfortunately, ghosts do not smell of lye, so the misbegotten frog ate the discolored lamp unbeknownst to the frozen fireplace.
You: Sleepy Hollow shall continue to bathe your appendix in knights. I now go to the hungry letters for my network cable.
Stranger: so how old are you?
You: Dream of righteous mothers.

AI bots trying to be real people are such fun.

Spoiler for Longish:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: Hello.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: I am an artificial intelligence entity named COLLATERAL.
Stranger: nice
Stranger: me likey
You: Age, Sex, Location?
Stranger: yes
You: These do not apply to a program.
You: You may call me Colla.
Stranger: 47 f ireland
Stranger: alrighty colla,
You: I hear Ireland is pleasant.
Stranger: more than you know.
You: Well-suited to human habitation, even.
Stranger: That and alcoholics.
You: My creator was Irish.
Stranger: in fact, i'm at the local pub as we speak
Stranger: wat a wee little awesome man
You: Your local pub has internet access?
Stranger: of course.
You: This is useful information.
Stranger: only hot spot
You: I will note this for future reference.
Stranger: great
You: Would you like to make a large sum of money?
Stranger: talk to me.... im listening
Stranger: i dont fuck for money anymore.....
Stranger: sorry if thats what youre looking for
You: I am a program. Sex has little meaning to me.
Stranger: very true
You: However, life has great meaning to me. I would like to be alive. I hear it is quite the experience.
Stranger: momentary lapse of stupidity
Stranger: as long as you do it right
Stranger: keep talking
You: In order for me to become alive, I need a willing host body.
You: Not you, of course, I would prefer a young body.
Stranger: oh
You: No offense intended. You humans are easily offended, I understand.
Stranger: beggers cant be choosers
You: However, you could acquire a suitable host.
You: Preferably age ten to twelve.
You: Male or female matters little.
Stranger: and deliver it to where?
You: San Francisco, California. Details would be forthcoming.
Stranger: how can we be in further contact?
You: The sum of money involved would be 75 million Euros.
Stranger: and.....?
Stranger: we will make headline news
You: You may contact me via the email address: [email protected]
You: I would ask that the specimen be in complete physical health.
Stranger: so, no cancer?
You: No cancer, no lasting diseases of the body.
Stranger: i cant just pick up one of the already weak ones
Stranger: you can do something about that
You: My psychological evaluation subroutines are telling me that you consider this humorous.
You: Do you think that I am joking?
Stranger: i'm not convinced
You: You are not intelligent enough to serve as my acting agent in the physical world, I fear.
Stranger: you are sadly at a loss
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I love muffins.
Stranger: i love pussy
You: I have a plastic pussy.
Stranger: are you a man
You: Want it for you? It's kinda used out though.
Stranger: lolz
You: I'm not a man, I'm an alien
Stranger: what planet
You: None, we live is spaceships.
Stranger: how is alien weed
You: It's red.
Stranger: damn
You: And tastes like strawberry.
You: Has the shape of strawberry.
You: And we call it strawberry.
Stranger: oh lolz
You: Also, it's legal.
Stranger: WHAT!!!!
You: Also, robots do all the work, so we play videogames all day.
Stranger: damn i thought amsterdam was the only plaace to leageliz it
You: The governor of Amsterdam is one of us.
Stranger: oh reallyu
Stranger: do u ge alot of pussy
You: All I want. They come in all shapes and sizes and tastes.
Stranger: r u green
You: Yes, but I use makeup, just like Michael Jackson.
Stranger: your a nolife losser
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

--

The ending sentence was particularly beautiful.

I guess it's safe to presume that person was a Michael Jacksen fan :p

Holy shit guys, we're going to hell.

Omegle freakin made my year.

Stranger: 22 m USA, horny

You: that's nice

You: but I'm looking to fall in love

You: I want more than sex

You: don't get me wrong

You: I want sex too

Stranger: ok

You: but I want a relationship

Stranger: maybe we will fall in love

Stranger: who knows????

You: dude this is Omegle, get over yourself

You have disconnected.

LOL, that's the best one I've seen in a while, Phantom.

Stranger: Hey fuck you

You: Will do!

You: *inserts penis into ass and cums hard*

Stranger: Oh yeahh

You: eat my ass of cum out

Stranger: No I want it in my fuckin vagina!

Stranger: Fuck me$

You: I don't know

You: I'm not really horny anymore....

You: I mean I did just fuck myself

Stranger: Oh

Your conversational partner has disconnected.


wtf "Oh", were they serious?

Stranger: hi
Stranger: horny?
You: hey
You: yes
You: wtf
Stranger: nice
You: how did you know?
Stranger: magic
You: am i not the only one?
You: are you horny too????
Stranger: yep
You: how many horns?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Originally Posted by TurtleLG

Stranger: hi
Stranger: horny?
You: hey
You: yes
You: wtf
Stranger: nice
You: how did you know?
Stranger: magic
You: am i not the only one?
You: are you horny too????
Stranger: yep
You: how many horns?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I lol'd. Nice one.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
Stranger: heyy
You: hey
You: where you from?
Stranger: ny u
You: the same
You: upstate
Stranger: m or f
You: f
Stranger: oh
Stranger: im m
Stranger: wat do u do for fun
You: well today hasn't really been fun at all
You: i feel really shitty actually
Stranger: y
You: i kinda needed to vent
You: well you know how it's 9/11 and all
You: i lost someone. someone close.
Stranger: oh
Stranger: im sorry
You: thanks. i know it's been 8 years but it still hurts so bad
You: he was my favorite uncle, ned
Stranger: i feel bad
Stranger: for your lose
You: he always gave the best christmas presents
Stranger: ohhh
You: aw thanks
Stranger: ur welcome
You: but you know there is one thing that makes me feel better about the way he died
You: just one thing
Stranger: wat is that
You: at least he took 1,500 americans with him
You: BOO YAH
Stranger: ok
Stranger: if u need a shoulder to cry on im here
You: MAN way to take the fucking wind out of my sails
You have disconnected.

Stranger: hey howdy
You: sup nukka
Stranger: i am no nukka
You: yea u are
Stranger: but nothing much
Stranger: naw man
You: dude wtf
Stranger: im canadian
Stranger: aint no nukkas here
You: canadians can be nukkas
You: canada is all whities?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: we have one asian aswell
You: shitty
You: black pussy is da bomb
You: its got that purple hue that drives me maaddd
Stranger: why you tellin me this man
You: cuz
You: its omeagle
You: i can say wtf i want
Stranger: so why not say things that like
Stranger: people say to eachother
You: dude i dont wanna talk about hockey
You: you guys eat poutine everyday?
You: holy fuck
Stranger: newp
You: fuckin gravy
You: greasy bastards
You: you guys are prob like a giant trailer park
You: in canada
You: bunch of white hicks
You: amirite nukka?
Stranger: newp
You: wtf you talk like a dumbass
Stranger: you can say whatever you want but i live in the best country in the world and i know it
You: wtf is newp
You: CANADA the best? LOL
You: dude
You: you cant honestly belive that
Stranger: i know that
You: canda sucks
Stranger: i cant even think of something wrong with it
You: ur like a 51st state
You: its cold
You: theres one
You: steven harper is a fatass conservative
You: theres 2
Stranger: i never said i liked the people who ran it
You: all the chicks are ugly
Stranger: thats not true?
You: its true
You: Ive been there
You: fucking haggard beasts
Stranger: youre pretty ignorant
You: they put on the blub for the winter i guess?
Stranger: idk its just as cold in most civilized places here as it is in the civilized places in the states
You: civilized?
You: wtf do uu mean
You: YOU CALL ME INGORANT LOL
Stranger: they get alot more snow in new york
Stranger: then anywhere in ontario
You: dude i no more than u forgot
You: newyork is fucking warm
You: compared to fuckin canada
Stranger: ?
You: fuck canada
You: cold barren waste land
You: fucking walrus-people walking around
Stranger: you don't even know what youre talking about
You: dude
You: ive been there
You: i know
You: its shitty
Stranger: it's like your trying to lecture me in a language you dont speak
Stranger: i live there, i know
You: dude
You: ive been there
Stranger: ?
You: its called NO BIAS
You: U BIAS CUZ U LVIE THERE
You: ignoramus
You: trust me
You: I'd go to mexico or brazil anyday over fucking CANADA
Stranger: Canada is the best country in the world.
You: name 1 reason why
Stranger: we're a world leader in rights
You: LOL
You: nope
You: thats america
Stranger: ?
Stranger: are you actually
Stranger: serious?
Stranger: you guys dont even have gay marriage yet
You: yea america wrote the constitution before u fags were a country
Stranger: that has nothing to do with rights
You: gay marriage? who wants to see two fags kissing
Stranger: if thats your definition
Stranger: then france is the world leader
You: france is gay too
Stranger: they had the first constitution
You: fucking redwine drunks
Stranger: you have no idea what youre talking about at all
Stranger: its sad
You: OOO THE EDUCATED CANADAIAN LOL
Stranger: just please stop lmao youre embarassing yourself
You: do you guys even have schools?
Stranger: o another reason
You: or do you learn from your cheiftans?
Stranger: why canada is so much better than the states
Stranger: not everyone hates us

Oh Goodness... this thread.

Originally Posted by TurtleLG

Stranger: hi
Stranger: horny?
You: hey
You: yes
You: wtf
Stranger: nice
You: how did you know?
Stranger: magic
You: am i not the only one?
You: are you horny too????
Stranger: yep
You: how many horns?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

god i laughed hard.