Thread: Fortunately, Unfortunately

Fortunately, he finds a stray fox. (Hey, it's better than starving.)

Unfortunately, the fox eats him. The end.

There once was a strong young man named Rick

Unfortunately, he was so strong, he was constantly in mortal agony.

Fortunately, a few weeks of lying in bed moaning to himself caused his muscles to atrophy back to normal, and the pain went away forever.

Unfortuanatly, a different pain came back 6 hours later, this time because his cat bit him in the face!

Fortunately, he was so used to pain that he was able to ignore it.

Unfortuanatly, his cat then bit his toe, in the spot that he can't ignore the pain. He is foot sensitive.

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Fortunately, his immense strength caused much weight and he developed very thick skin on his feet so the cat's teeth didn't go far enough to damage him.

*LOL*

Unfortuanatly, now his feet often peeled

Fortunately, he can just take the peeling and stash them in the garbage can. No harm done.

Unfortuanatly, he needed to bring around a garbage can with him everywhere, because his foot often peeled disgustingly, according to many random people at his work.

People think that he is disgusting; no one likes him anymore.

Fortunately, as long as he doesn't take his shoes off in public nobody will notice the peeling...

Unfortuanatly, the peelings often pile up in his socks if he doesn't dispose of them often, it's very uncomfortable for him!

Fortunately his job allows him to make bathroom breaks so he can flush them down the toilet while everyone assumes he's peeing.

*LOL*

This story is hilarious!

Unfortuanatly, he often has to unclog the toilet because of the massive number of peels going into the toilet

Fortunately he uses a different toilet each time, thus preventing the same toilet from excessive use in a given day.

Unfortuanatly, his coworkers are suspicious that he is the one destroying the toilets!

Fortunately, right as they go to question him someone else is caught trying to sabotage the plumbing system and all suspicion is taken off him!

Unfortuanatly, the guilt is killing him; he knows that he is the main cause for the destruction of the plumbing

Fortunately, he consults a counselor that reassures him that the damage he is doing has little to no detrimental effect on his employer's multi-million dollar business, thus relieving him of guilt. Oh and, he gets medicine to help with the peeling.

Unfortuanatly, the medicine has a side effect of massive itching! Yay, more peeling!

Fortunately, a quick-witted swaps out the medications for one that works and is side-effect free.

Unfortuanatly, this quick-witted guy wanted his month's salary in return for his kindness of giving him these awesome meds

Fortunately, people were so thankful that the dude's feet didn't peel anymore, that they all chipped in and paid the pharmacist.