Darkmatters, I don't know if you realize that this is a relatively old thread, and even at that time it was not something that had just happened to me but rather something that happened three times a while ago - it was memorable but has not reoccurred. I am not really worried about loosing my job: I am searching as a precaution but I know I have a job until end of April at least, and if the contract is extended which is still quite likely, I have been told that I would be the last to be let go, which I believe. The trouble is not fear of loosing job, but rather the stressful situation at work, causing me to question whether I would want to stay with this job even if I can. However, given the level of interest from recruiters, I am confident that I will find a new job before end of April, so that's not a problem. My dad and I have not talked about politics and differences between conservative and liberal in ages: we both know better already. The trouble is more that my dad knows how to push my buttons, how to make me feel very small and vulnerable, and every call to him is a risk for me whether I will come out of it feeling ok or like shit, and that's why at times of high stress, I tend to not call him. But yes, I do need to call him. Job and my dad though are not all my stress points by a long shot: I stopped calling my dad long before the situation at work deteriorated. I think part of the issue was being a caffeine addict and totally out of shape, both of which I have started to address. And another issue was mental stress and age collaborating in causing scary memory issues, again something I have started to address. And let's not forget the fact that before coming to dreamviews I was a member of an online forum which was run by Puritan Communists and it took me a while to figure out how much damage that did to my psyche. Again something I have addressed by coming here. A lot of my stress is now caused by the vicious cycle of stress breeds more stress.
Thanks for your concern, Joanna
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