Thread: I still can't get it right

Cool stuff MasterMind.Thanks.

How do you expect something or someone to get attracted to you when you are not BEING you?!!

I seriously missed it.BEING ME!Till the age 12 I was ME.Now that I lost it I know what an awesome thing it was...
Freedom,Confidence,Happiness and even more...But then I started noticing my imperfections.I started comparing myself to others,feeling incomplete etc.As the time passed I unconsciously kept doing it.I got away and away from ME.Now after 5 years,I realize what the hell I just did to myself.Now that I want to fix it,it just seems impossible.This NOT BEING ME has turned to a habit and don't know how to get rid of it.I mean I don't have any idea who I am so try to be that...Anyway enough off topic.

Well having the right mindset is cool and necessary for WILD.But being free of what prevents you from having a successful WILD(for me is usually expectation,which not only ruins my attempt but also I get punished but not falling asleep the whole night) is not that easy.Specially if you're used to the wrong one.In my most successful attempts I was just focusing on my breath and nothing else.But don't know what the hell happened that made me expect whenever I try and it lead to not falling asleep and I guess that subconsciously I got to the point that by trying WILD or even thinking about that upon waking up during night I expect to not fall asleep.I should find a way to fix it...

This mindset is really tricky to understand because if you want to achieve freedom from outcome, gues what then you have an outcome..

Cool,but by trying to achieve freedom from it,just makes me think about it more and I guess it makes it worse for me(I know I'm doing it wrong somehow)

Originally Posted by Ramin2097

Cool stuff MasterMind.Thanks.

I seriously missed it.BEING ME!Till the age 12 I was ME.Now that I lost it I know what an awesome thing it was...
Freedom,Confidence,Happiness and even more...But then I started noticing my imperfections.I started comparing myself to others,feeling incomplete etc.As the time passed I unconsciously kept doing it.I got away and away from ME.Now after 5 years,I realize what the hell I just did to myself.Now that I want to fix it,it just seems impossible.This NOT BEING ME has turned to a habit and don't know how to get rid of it.I mean I don't have any idea who I am so try to be that...Anyway enough off topic.

Well having the right mindset is cool and necessary for WILD.But being free of what prevents you from having a successful WILD(for me is usually expectation,which not only ruins my attempt but also I get punished but not falling asleep the whole night) is not that easy.Specially if you're used to the wrong one.In my most successful attempts I was just focusing on my breath and nothing else.But don't know what the hell happened that made me expect whenever I try and it lead to not falling asleep and I guess that subconsciously I got to the point that by trying WILD or even thinking about that upon waking up during night I expect to not fall asleep.I should find a way to fix it...

Cool,but by trying to achieve freedom from it,just makes me think about it more and I guess it makes it worse for me(I know I'm doing it wrong somehow)

It's funny how you mention all the same problems that used to bother me. Tyler (in the video) even say that the annoying thing about knowing about freedom from outcome, is that most guys that he teach then start to use that as an excuse. Walking around the club doing nothing because "they are not free from the outcome yet".
And about falling asleep, well there are ONLY two possible scenarios that can happen and the first one is that you fall asleep unconsciously and the second one is that you don't. Just like when you flirt, a person will either not want to talk to you (which is their free choice) or they will talk to you.

The problem again is that we try to control the outcome! "Oh yeah I am so cool I know my little technique of not caring about the outcome" and then when you get rejected, fall asleep or can't fall asleep and complain, well then you ARE caring about the outcome.

Examples:

Getting Rejected: Buhuu poor me, a random girl who doesn't know me threatened my LADIES MAN EGO.
Falling Asleep: Buhuu poor me, I fell asleep during my WILD practise. (Just like 99.99999% of the rest of the population)
Not falling asleep: Buhuu poor me I have trouble falling asleep. (Just like 99.999999% of the rest of the population)

This complaining victim mindset can be found EVERYWHERE.

Buhuu I don't own a GUCCI bag that costs a fortune. Buuhuuuu I am depressed. Buhuuu I don't get result in the gym. Buhuuu BUUUHUU BUHHUUU!!!

I am not trying to make fun of people complaining or that have it bad I am simply showing you that which Tyler in Fight Club so adequately put it:

YOU ARE NOT A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE! YOU ARE NOT HOW MUCH MONEY YOU ARE MAKING. YOU ARE NOT THE CAR YOU DRIVE. YOU ARE NOT THE CONTENTS OF YOUR WALLET. YOU ARE NOT YOUR F*CKING KHAKIS!

And also but not least because most people try to be.. You are NOT your problems!

But to give you a clear solution to all of your problems:

Victims - Identify themselves with their problems and focus on what's outside of their control (The Problem itself) RESISTANCE
Winners - Accept that the world is SH*T and focus on what's within their control (The Action itself) ACCEPTANCE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Az3u-YcBndE

So again so how do you get rid of the three problems mentioned above?

YOU DON'T!

You simply accept them, perhaps even go torwards them willingly, and then focus on what's within your control. This is the main idea, but what I do is:

Getting Rejected: Expect rejection, funnily enough the best night and the coolest girls I have ever met happened after I just honestly and geuinely told myself "Tonight I am going to get rejected on purpose and just have fun!". Oddly enough this night girls rejected me less because they thought I was fun.

Falling Asleep: Expect this, I am usually doing my attempts on my bedtime (Read my DJ) and well the times I do everything in my power to stay awake, I fall asleep almost instantly. However the nights I genuinely don't care I fall asleep and somehow wake up again and resume my practise.

Not falling asleep: This was something that I noticed when I had meditated and then decided to give up and go back to sleep only to realize, Oh da*n I can't!
So what I did at first was to resist this fact by feeling bad and having a horrible night. But then I accepted it and even used it to my advantage and listened to guided meditations where my problem usually is that I fall asleep too fast. Ironically enough when I did this I fell asleep in a blink. Now I take even more responsability and say "Ok I am resisting the moment, what is beatiful about this moment? What is positive about what's right NOW?" and then I find the joy and the bliss again, but I am still practising this.

You can probably see how the meditation mindset can be a powerful tool for all aspects of life.

So whenever you have a problem, ask yourself: Am I resisting and wishing that reality was different? And if so how do I accept this and move on?

Also about the not knowing who you are. I can relate to that too.

I used to be a whiny negative overthinking weirdo. And I still have some insecurities like I don't watch many movies or am very wellread on music groups, videogames or gossip etc. I do however like philosophy, lucid dreaming, meditation and weird sh*t that most people have no idea about. So I guess that I'm just an overthinking weirdo.. xD

The thing is.. Nobody knows who they are, the only important thing is that you are happy with who you are.

So move with the everchanging world, because if you are not moving with it, you are probably being left behind.

Watch some motivational video to get the right thinking going: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Njc5w1WRzYw