Timothy Paradox

Really harrowing dream. My dad was doing something, maybe something violent, and he was a threat to my other (forgotten and likely fictional) loved ones in the room/house. I pointed my Glock at him, hoping he'd stop. He didn't. He came straight at me. I pulled the trigger, and as usual that was almost impossible to do. It did go off, sort of, hitting him. It didn't seem to do much. I ran away and grabbed my shotgun from the locker. The fight continued, and I think I got a couple of good hits in. The whole thing was adrenalin-fueled survival, I didn't really *want* to do any of this. Dad ran outside. I ran after him. It was night, dark and rainy. I lost track of dad. Finally, I calmed down and emotion overwhelmed me. I was crushed by regret. I'd shot my own father. I literally broke down into tears, crying "papa, papa". Then I woke up. What a great night that was.

Notes say 'heroes in city', not sure what that refers to. I do vaguely remember some kind of 'time portal' in a wall (an ancient Japanese wall, with gorgeous paintings). There was a soundtrack. At some point Hiro Nakamura shows up (comes back from the past or future), but with prosthetic limbs, and a coffee machine on his head?

Second dream. Dad being a dick again and talking shit about me because the model airplanes I made as a child look like shit in his opinion. He says I'm as lazy as my "good-for-nothing brother". I feel powerless and enraged by it. I fantasized about murdering the shit out of him by ripping off his head. That's what tends to happen when I feel powerless. It's like I become a cornered wild animal. I get really, really mad. I woke up breathing rapidly, still upset. And disturbed by the level of imaginary violence I just unleashed on someone who did nothing to me in real life, and I'm supposed to love.

I was on a 'bus' with a guy from work (Eddy). I sad down in the 'forbidden seat'. Someone immediately pointed out I wasn't supposed to sit there. Notes also say "very bright ceiling tile"? Not sure what that means.

I had a fight with my dad again. I got emotional because of an old picture of my mom. I thought it was recent birthday picture at first. My dad saw something was up, but decided to be an insensitive dick and make me feel like shit. He said, in Dutch: "Ge zit daar te trillen als ne halve gare", meaning: "You sit there, shaking like a moron" and a lot more rude BS. Really summarizes how I see my dad. Incapable of dealing with emotions.

I was in Barcelona with my class from school (an event that actually happened twice, in 2007 and 2008). The weather was really sunny and warm, and it was winter. I met a cute girl and we had sex. There was some foot fetishism going on, nothing too extreme. Afterwards, we were outside and I kissed her goodbye. My "friends" (at the time, now mortal enemies) were there too, watching. The girl was taller than me, by the way. I noticed that because I'm always super insecure about my pitiful height for a male. Anyway, we had to leave (get on the plane to fly back home), but bullies hid my shoes so I couldn't leave. I found some dirty shoes at a place we came through before, thrown away by those fucking bullies. On my way back through the city (a ruined house?), I saw some landmarks I hadn't photographed yet (the Sagrada is one of them), and it made me wish I had more time. I could technically leave whenever I wanted, so I could maybe visit the girl again first.