The Labrynth of the Mind

The Drinking Contest

I am in a Dairy Queen. They are having an advertizement for new treats in their freezer (I mean the advertizement is in the freezer; it's a live action commercial).

"You've seen all these old treats" says the narrator. "Remember when this was new?" They show some things like an ice cream cake and a Dilly Bar, as well as some frozen canned whipped cream I have never seen before. "But now it's just the same old same old. Well, there's a new treat in town!" The other things are pushed aside, and a giant cake is dropped down, taking their place. It is green, and covered in lots of icing. Upon it's being sliced open, it is found to be filled with frozen coconut filling.

"Just in time for the Super Bowl, it's a -- Day Cake! [the -- was some name like McNabb, I don't think it was him but it was a celtic name famous in football] It is now being offered at a great price. Or, you can win this cake for free! All you have to do is be here on McNabb's Day (I guess it is some sort of holiday) and drink beer! That's right, you drink beer for 13 hours. Here's the thing - you have to be drinking beer the whole time, and no bathroom breaks can be taken. If you're still here at the end, you get the cake for free!"

A few people seem to be interested in this deal. Next to me is a table of really good looking girls.

"Heck," says one of them, "We'll just wait here until McNabb's Day starts. It's just an hour or so."

I sit down next to her, and put my arm around her. For some reason my mother shows up and sits on the other side of her. The girls begin talking about how much they like to drink, and how great it will be to have free beer all day long. They seem to think drinking constantly for 13 hours is easy.

I start talking to my mother, loud enough so that they can overhear. "What do you think would happen to someone who drank beer constantly for 13 hours?" I say.

"I don't know," says my mother, "but it can't be good".

"I would think you'd get alcohol poisoning," I say. The girls seem to take no heed. I pull the girl next to me a little closer, and give her a hug. I am honestly worried about her. "Here is my prediction. By this time tomorrow night there will be at least one alcohol related death because of this contest."

"I think you're right," says my mother.

I now see in my mind's eye the scene of an accident, and someone being loaded into an airplane.

Strange Goings-on at my Grandparents'

We are having a family get together at my grandparents' house. It is getting to be late at night, and my brother goes back to bed. My aunt decides to play a trick on him, and changes into a bikini top. She undoes the strings at the bottom, so it looks as though she is in the process of taking it off. Then she goes into my brother's bedroom, pretending to be a strange woman who wandered in from the street.

Fixing the Computer

(This may have been a continuation of the last dream, or not. I don't quiet remember. It's one of those that isn't so coherent.)

Bobcats never let go once they have hold of you. My little cat thinks it's a bobcat at times, but at other times it is just like a kitten. I pet it, but then someone makes it think it's a bobcat. It grabs my hand with it's teeth and claws, getting a wild look in its eyes. I start singing to it, treating it like a little kitten again. It let's go of my hand.

Now somebody has the cat on his shoulder, and is climbing and running along the top of a moving train. It is a daredevil.

Now I am in a room somewhere. There are lots of children walking by on a field trip. They have to line up at the door, and they set their books down in front of me. I look at them, and see they are doing the same thing I did when I was their age.

A telephone rings in the room I am in. A woman answers the phone. "It's for you," she says, "it's Client #9".

"Client #9?" I say, "uh, that doesn't sound right." I pick up the telephone. I should have known. It's my uncle, who likes to pretend he is weird people when calling family and freinds. He asks if I'm busy, and if I can help work on my Grandfather's computer.

Now I am at my Grandfather's house with his computer. It has a small problem, but Dell wants over $1,000 to fix it.

"$1,000?!" I say, "at the most, you'll just have to get a new CPU, or maybe just a new motherboard."

Now my brother goes to bed. I have my laptop running, and it's been running all day. I decide I had better shut it down.

Working for Rush

I get a new job, working for Rush Limbaugh. He is explaining how the job works.

"When I'm on the mic," he says, "I don't know whether someone is doing their job or not. I don't go around and see how much or how well people are working. What I do is look at their desk. If your desk is clean, you are a good employee."

I look around the office. Everybody has a nice, perfectly clean desk. I sit down at my desk, and try to organize my things to look nice as well.