solaetia

I worked in cafe but it was a different building than in waking life, a nice big space. It was evening or late at night and we were getting ready to close. I was attempting to make vegan cookies and trying to find some vegan chocolate I could add. I remember seeing a Christmas tree that was in an adjacent room, and I unplugged, or plugged the lights in, I can’t remember. A lingering customer was remarking about how slow I drove my car, and I had an image of my [dream] car, with the entire front smashed, like a memory of a crash. I told him I drove slow because I had once crashed my car, and I showed him a fading bruise on my right inner bicep.
Outside, me and co-worker (old friend?) were going to our cars when we noticed two suspicious men on the roof of the cafe. We ducked down and tried to hide behind some structure. I think the men could see me, and I decided instead of remaining in hiding that we needed to distract them. I made an urgent look to a customer that was also outside- some man- and he seemed to get it and we both loudly talked about something and started to go back into the cafe.


Fragment: Editing some trailer or excerpt of a movie. Lots of problem solving dreams last night of this kind. Designing, editing, creating. Left me feeling tired when I initially woke up.

Wrote down notes on dreams, read a little and went back to sleep. More dreams below.

I was in my front room with my husband. We were sitting on the couch and a giant black bear was excitedly trotting back and forth between the couch and the front door, like my dog does when she wants to go out. In fact, the bear completely had my dog’s essence. I jokingly asked my husband, ‘Want to let her out?’ I got up and walked on the couch to reach for the front door, realizing that the bear could attack me at any moment. I opened the door and watched the bear run out and run down the street. I briefly wondered if I should warn the neighbors that a bear was running around.

I was making a movie with some people- maybe I was related to the director? We were hanging out on an urban street sidewalk, in an area that looked like an east coast city. An old male actor was standing next to me, and a slightly chubby man (my relative?). After a few minutes of discussing the movie or something else, we went inside a door behind us and it was this old man’s apartment. The carpet was old and stained and there were various rugs around. He mentioned something about liking my dog, or enjoying having her there, and he had a large dog that came in and tried to get near my dog but she seemed defensive. In the kitchen on the counter there were 3 bubbling pots- one was a tea kettle I think, the other perhaps coffee? And the third was apparently and experiment I had going on in a giant mixing bowl. It looked like bread dough in water with cayenne pepper, and I added something like apple cider vinegar. I have the idea that it was fermenting, not boiling.

I felt like an outsider. My mom and my brother were there. They each got a text from my aunt asking if they were going to the annual family boat reunion. I never attended this (dream event) but I was slightly hurt that I didn’t get this text as well. I was playing on my iPad/iPhone, editing movies or watching clips of a movie I was working on.

I was catching rides on large cruise-like boats by walking into the center of a bridge and stepping out as the boat passed under. I was able to step directly onto the boat without jumping using this method. Soon though a boat came and I wasn’t able to get on, but I notice a crowd of people, including an attractive woman around my age, were able to get on that boat in a way I couldn’t access. Then another series of boats show up, these are smaller, and several groups of teenage girls are on the bridge with me. They are dressed like they are on a sports team, mostly red and white colors, and they jump into the water next to the boats, or jump directly on the boats themselves. I contemplate doing this and then decide those boats aren’t for me and I think it’s too dangerous to jump anyway. An old school friend is near me and she agrees. I decided to wait for the next boat.

Thoughts:
A lot of this seems mundane. Bears are a common theme for my dreams, they used to be nightmares, now they just show up randomly. Im not sure why this one seemed like my dog, if that means anything to me. I think bears mostly symbolized anxiety for me in the past, or my father…now they seem to symbolize something that I am slightly afraid of, but think I can get around.
Boats and water are reoccurring a lot lately. These definitely seem symbolic, perhaps of subconscious emotions, or finding ways to navigate those emotions.
I live far away from my family, and have for a long time. I love them but I don’t want to live where they are, and it’s hard for me to travel to see them very frequently. I suppose I do feel left out, and although I talk to several of them frequently, I worry if I will regret this one day. Or if they think that I don’t care about them as much as I do. I am very introverted and could go days without talking to any human and be fine. I often realize that I have gone a while without reaching out, and wonder if I’m more oblivious than others when it comes to maintaining relationships.