Originally Posted by archaic
I lucid dream every night, but I always end up in these bizarre settings. They are not at all like reality. I can manipulate them and have total knowledge that I am dreaming, but my thought process while in these spaces is very much like the thought processes of a non-lucid dreamer all the same. As in, my logic is very twisted and not like waking logic. I tend to find myself in a place which, while dreaming, I seem to identify as "the non-existence." It's the nothing that is before life and after life. I know it sounds weird but I always end up there because I always start out in scary settings and have to setting change, but for some reason my mind always chooses to go there in the end. And then I worry, in the dream, that I won't be able to get back out. Which in the dream feels very real.
Not that "out" is much better, because the surrounding dream space is quite frightening. It's like dream layers where each time I setting change I go to a worse "level." I can't stop choosing these when I'm dreaming. And I can't choose NOT to lucid dream, because it happens whether I want it to or not.
Advice on controlling your mind's decisions in dream state? Sometimes half of me will know I'm making a choice conscious me wouldn't like, but I do it anyway and go into negative dreamspace.
It's also worth mentioning that I do not feel rested by these dreams. I always wake up exhausted.
Explain the nonexistence more... I've had many bizarre dreams that cause creepy, odd, and outright strange thought patterns, feelings, beliefs, and experiences, but all are non-lucid. However, I have had a lucid dream in which I existed in nonexistence. I was within pure black, but it was not a color. I could both feel and not feel, but what I felt was everything. I was the all encompassing ever massive expansion and infinitesimally pin-point dot that was all and nothing. I simply was. I was in the dream for about five minutes, and I experimented with making myself feel various things, but not for very long, because I figured I could get into a dream this way. I willed myself to be falling rapidly through the all-nothingness that was me in hopes I would brake through a plane and land in a dream, but instead I woke up, lol. Was that anything what your nonexistence feels like? If so, I actually liked it a lot. What is so scary about it to you?
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