ok, so ive been going at lucid dreams for a few years now and a few things have happend that i would like to share, but first i have a few questions that i need answering before i continue messing with what i have found. first, how closely related are lucid dreams and out of body experiences? can they be dangerous or fatal? death or coma is what i fear most and here is why. please hear me out and take the time to read what happened, i can really use any type of advice, comfort, warnings, anything would be great because the latest exp was terrifying.
ive had a few lucid dreams, some where i go into the dream with the intention of being lucid while in it, and others where i realize im dreaming mid dream and go from there. these have not been completely lucid to the point where i can do anything i want but to an extent, enabling me to have some influence on what is going on. later, and lately i have found something new, instead of laying to down to sleep as i normally would i lay on my back with my hands at my sides. from here i try to just head towards sleep while catching myself at the moment it happens, usually just before it feels like my ears either plug up or get muffled sounds become distorted or soft. i can see whatever i would see if i would open my eyes from that position, wall, ceiling fan ect. it feels like my body is unresponsive or paralyzed. depending on how deep it is i can either (with great amounts of will) move say my arms around but they move little and once the start moving (if they do) i can shake out of it, this state is uncomfortable for me and before i was doing it intentionally, i would do so to wake up and shake out.
i finally got brave enough to just ride it out, or try to one day when i was staying at my parents. i was looking up and the fan and just kinda hanging there, then i felt a sinking feeling, like i was starting to fall through my bed, i fell faster and things grew dark and i kept falling, dark and darker and then it felt like i hit something. when i did, i felt a strong buzzing sensation, almost like being shocked without pain? (at the time i thought i was dying) i was shocked out of said state and woke panting and fearful.
this last experience the one that is the reason for me finally asking about it, has a bit to do with that last exp at my parents. i was in a trailer where i work (its where i stay at the yard while im working for the week) and i let the same thing happen, after my body turned off or whatever and i knew that i was in the state i was aiming for (still unsure whether its a dream, pre dream hallucination, or obe before you go out) and i did a check by trying to put my arm in front of my eyes. (or what i could see) once i felt like my fingers and hand were in front of my face (or should be if i was awake) and saw that i could not see them, i knew for certain that i was dreaming, or at least not normally awake. from here i looked around (not turning my head) with just my eyes saw the cupboard above me and the window at the end of my bed and at that point, things got a bit crazy. i began to feel the same sensation i felt at my parents, sinking and sinking, but this time i fought it (associating it with death, i didn't really want it to happen) i began to will my self back to being level and back to where i felt i was (laying on the bed) and i eventually got there (matter of seconds) from there i tried to sit up, normally when i try to sit up like this i can't, it feels like it is extremely difficult to do so, but this time after a short delay i started to come up, too fast and too easily for comfort, i started to panic again because i had never been able to sit up before and this time i felt as if, once started i was being sucked or pulled up and or forward. i felt about a foot off the bed (all this time i never saw any part of my body, arms legs, anything) and i began to turn as if to be on my side in the air so i could try to grab ahold of something so i wouldn't be pulled away, i saw a chair near my bed and went for it and then thought that if i was being sucked away from my self or my body, going for a physical chair was absurd so i forgot about it and just tried to force/will my self back to where i was , all the while i was still being taken from where i started, in and up and forward motion from where i had lain. i started to try and scream my name, thinking that reminding whatever and or myself that i was me and needed to be where i should be would help, then i began to start saying my girlfriends name, hoping the same, trying to just be me instead of whatever else. i eventually got back to where i lay and panicked my way back to reality or consciousness, and from there i sat terrified, thinking, and amazed. during all this, and when i am just in that state, it either isn't a dream or it does not feel like one in the least. i believe that if it is a dream (i hope it is) it feels real enough because im in it while completely aware and the logic part of my brain which doesn't function in dreams does function when you have a completely lucid dream. i understand that my fears can be completely unnecessary, but when it feels that real to you, and you have a thought that it could be possible for you to die or not be able to get back to your physical self, its hard to keep fear away from it.
im not sure how to explain my relationship or belief in or of god, im still not sure if i do think theres a god or not probably more towards believing, but while all that was happening (matter of minutes i think, or at least it felt) a thought came that i was going to die or had died and was going to hell. i also was thinking, man it sucks that im going to hell but wtf? im not supposed to be dead yet, i did this to my self. then i leveled and started going up and forward and thought, thats great and that im going to heaven now and not hell but still, i don't really want to go there yet either, im NOT supposed to be dying this isn't my time, im just messing with dreams and the like. please please please ect, and i will tell you, i am 21 years old, i have been around the block at least once in my time, im not a mind expanding drug user or anything but i have never been that terrified in my life. the sheer will it took to stop falling and then to not go up and forward (unnecessary or not) almost brought me to tears later when i thought about it and tried to explain it to my best buddy and girlfriend.
im sorry if this is in the wrong part of the forum and thank you so much if you took the time to read it, im not looking back to check grammar or anything i just want to get it out there for some response, it shakes me up to talk about it and even type about. but i am highly interested in lucid dreams, and obe if thats what its coming to. i have a great love for the abilities of the human mind and i think that even with the 4-6% of brain power we should be able to learn how to do as we will in dreams. i can conquer fear of death in dreams, i just want a few facts or some comfort or any type of info on the matter to help me along. let me know what you guys think.