MadamAurantia
Member

I don't know if I was lucid or not. But I was watching a TV recording of a freaky ballet based on some kind of 18th Century French Novel. Then there was an ad for a warped Peter Pan sequel, really New Agey. Then I left to go work in a theatre, which had a few levels of basement in descending levels of decay as they went downwards. In the lowest level, I found one of my French profs, my favorite one, also working on the stage piece the theatre was putting on (My old theatre prof was the director of this piece.). It turned out to be the same freaky ballet, and he was consulting on historical accuracy.

We chatted for a while, and we both found out that he's related to my husband's side of the family by marriage. Someone else's, not his, as he's never been hitched. We had a few moments of "Cool, we're kind of maybe related!" before the director sent me to a beauty parlor to get supplies.

I didn't fit in there any better than I do in real beauty places. Someone tried to convince me to cut all my hair off, showing me a wig with "Lesbian Chic" short hair in 5 different shades from yellow to red. I know this hair now; a few years ago I had an erotic dream featuring a chick with this hair. Odd. Sexy, though... I'd forgotten about that dream...

They completely ignored what I was needing, telling me that these colors were no good for me... but I needed them for someone else, I worked in a theatre, but no one even seemed to hear that part. I left angry, and it was dark. Kind of stormy, too, though I vaguely remember seeing stars. Then I woke up, happy because I didn't have to really go back and tell this theatre prof that her favorite salon wouldn't sell me anything basically because I was so ugly they wanted to fix me rather than help me.

This theatre prof's rage is notorious. I don't ever want her pissed at me. Not even in a dream.

Well, I remember discussing family oddities with Fonzie while my little sister did something involving dolls in the other room, then I woke up and crashed again.

Then I dreamed that I was desperate for a place to study, so bad that I broke into the first church I ever went to. Now, this place is a common element in my dreams, but it's always a building with one of those layouts that you can never escape from. Open an exit, it opens to the entrance on the other side of the building, and all that.

Well, I opened a door to one of the classrooms, hoping for a table and chairs to work with, and found a pastor there. He said he was going to call the police unless I watched a video the church had prepared. It seems that they had been having problems with burglars, and even with all my homework on my back I couldn't convince him that I wasn't interested in theft. I just wanted to study. I had homework due.

But he made me sit down and watch a cartoon (with anthropomorphic animals, no less!) about how no matter what my friends thought, breaking into buildings was "not cool." Very cliche.

"Look, Miss. The person breaking into that church is a rat. You don't want to be a rat, do you?"
"You do realize that I'm 26, right? Not 5?"
"This isn't funny, Miss. This is very serious. This is your future we're talking about. You're on the road to drugs and prostitution."
"That's nice. Can I do my homework while I watch this?"

Finally he let me go, so late that not only had I missed my assignment, but the class it was for. I had flunked my class. He asked me if I ever wanted to break into a church again, and I told him that I was never setting foot in any church again. I think I added a "you bastard" to that. On my way out, I found his a woman by the side of the road with a blown tire, and offered to give her a ride. Turned out she was the pastor's wife, come to pick him up from guard duty. I dropped her off back at the church, and the pastor started cheering that he had saved another lost youth. I flipped him off as I left.

Somehow, I wound up neighbors with Duncan McLeod, and he was teaching me to swordfight. I wasn't an immortal, it was just for fun. There was something involving My Little Ponies, and my old church, and of course a fight. I don't think I want any more details, really. This was quite enough 90's flashback for me.

I know it involved a movie theatre, watching Lord of the Rings. Something was far enough off about it that I even noticed it in the dream. Someone had a gun, or the characters jumped off the screen, or something. I remember a lot of action, and blood, and popcorn. It was the same Mall movie theatre that I've seen a few times, with the geography all skewed, but I didn't notice the odd geography at the time.

There may have been kids with me. Whose they would have been is a complete mystery, though.

I was hanging out in the forest with the old Bill Bixby's David Banner. We'd spent a lot of time hiking together since becoming friends. We joined Tyler Durden's Fight Club together, me because I LOVE to fight, and him because after Fight Club he didn't get angry as easily. We had much clean fun in the woods, then this very effeminate dude I knew as a child showed up with an axe and the dream turned into one of those freaky chase dreams. Banner didn't even shift to fight back, since he didn't get angry anymore. Dammit, and I would have liked the Hulk, too.