Thread: Ask Me/ Tell Me About Social Dynamics

Can anyone tell me the best way to deflect pepperspray? What? We were talking about dating and such, right?

HAHAHAHA, SO FUNNY.

Ok I am sorry. However, this topic can be quite interesting. A sausage-fest, but interesting nonetheless. I personally am as social as a rock, a rock that can talk and isn't a total loser, but isn't mr-popular. Basically, I have a few friends, bunch of semi-nerds, and I aint gettin' laid.

But I don't really care, just getting better every day.

So.

SEX IS BAD, MKAY

I really hope ill never need to deflect pepper spray Lol.

Originally Posted by Neruo

Can anyone tell me the best way to deflect pepperspray?[/b]

Deflect? I'm not sure... but as far as dodging:

1. Quickly pick one side (right or left)
2. Jump in a clumsy manner toward the side picked on number 1
3. Fall down while everyone stares at you, after you still failed to dodge the pepper spray

Before attempting to dodge the pepper spray, its best to read this tutorial.

Hope this helps.

Kino is great. you can even get playfull with it from the get go. With one girl the other night, i shook her hand. then i stuck my hand out again as i was talking to her, she shook it. then i stuck my hand out again. after a while she's like "LOL OMG I'm dumb or something, i just realised i shook your hand 3 times lol". I give chicks noogies! I did this at a rave last weekend and me and the chick almost got in a wrestling match!

I'm gonna upload an ebook by Juggler. his stuff will give you a good idea of how to have good convo's and key things you can apply to any conversation to escalate the interaction.

pickup lines will never get you laid. They're good ice breakers, but will start you off in the interaction from way back there! the Kino is good with a "hello" or you can give her an intereesting compliment.
eg from the video

Juggler: I really like your shoes! I bet if you tapped them together you would go to OZ!

Her: haha blah blah blah:

Juggler: I'm wayne

Her: I'm x name.

Juggler: Oh come on! what's your real name?

Her: Dorothy haha.

I thought this article was rather funny and profound and thought i would share it here:

Dimitri:

Explosions, Fast Vehicles, Money, Violence, and Some Sex (Real or Imaginary) posted on Thursday, April 19, 2007

Refusal to be entertaining is important.

When a man with worse-than-average communication skills meets a woman he finds attractive, he of course wants her to reciprocate. Nothing wrong with that so far. But he neglects the fact that the woman he is interested in had done absolutely nothing to create the attraction in him! He is attracted to her just the way she is, without her investing any commitment into the interaction, just for her looks. By the same token, the self-esteem of that man is relatively low, so he believes that just the way he is he is absolutely unattractive to her. So he figures out what he needs now is to be entertaining.

And he begins telling stories he considers spectacular. Those stories typically include explosions, fast vehicles, money, a doze of violence, and a few sexually explicit moments from his past, real or imaginary.

Sort of like a typical Action/Adventure Hollywood summer blockbuster.

I seriously suspect that most of modern Hollywood screenwriters and directors battle some serious self-esteem issues. It looks like those guys believe that without explosions, fast vehicles, money, violence, and a few sexually explicit moments their works would be boring. That is why there is almost nothing else in the movie theaters except explosions, fast vehicles, money, violence, and sex scenes. Such is my theory.

The problem is, the woman whom our guy tells about explosions, fast vehicles, money, violence, and past sexual experiences, has heard it all before. In fact, if she fits the current social model of female beauty, she has already heard from men who tried to pick her up all about explosions, fast vehicles, money, violence, and their real or imaginary past sexual experiences, and that might have happened a few thousand times. But that woman is also polite. So she goes, oh, how exciting. Then she yawns.

There might be some exceptions of course. If that attractive woman have been struck with a sudden amnesia, she might not feel familiar with male stories about explosions, fast vehicles, money, violence, and past sexual experiences, real or imaginary. Or she might be from Siberia where men in such situations talk about vodka and bear hunting. In these two rare cases a woman might actually be impressed, even if slightly confused, as in: Why is this man telling me about all those things?

Then a moment comes when she inevitably asks herself another question: What am I so impressed with? Women check on their emotions at random intervals usually no longer than a minute. Then she answers: Oh, I see! I am so impressed because that man tells me about explosions, fast vehicles, money, violence, and his sexual experiences, which are probably imaginary. Got it! So I am not actually impressed with him as a person at all. Neither am I impressed with him as a man, because he is obviously trying to entertain me to get into my pants. I am just impressed by his stories. What a drag. But she is also polite, so she goes, oh, how exciting. Then she yawns.

Damn it, sounds like a no-win situation!

Now what if we imagine an alternative reality in which a woman is approached by a man of a very different kind. This new man is normal, and he also has a secret, which tremendously boosts his confidence.

So he walks up to her and starts a conversation. What do you think he talks to her about?

Explosions, fast vehicles, money, violence, and past sexual experiences?

Hell no!

He makes sure to secure her attention, introduces himself calmly, and then says something along these lines:

You know, today is Thursday, and every Thursday morning I do my laundry. Through the week I collect quite a few items I need cleaned. It has become a ritual. Watching them all tumble in the washer give me incredible peace of mind, it tells me the world is still a very safe place. What about you, what makes you feel safe?

And thus it continues. The man escalates subtly, and as he does, he progresses from boring topics to really boring to extremely boring one:

I am addicted to brushing my hair. I actually have a favorite hairbrush I would never share with anyone. Every time I run it through my hair it sends shivers down my spine. Tell me, what has a similar effect on you?

And the woman asks herself: Why do I feel so attracted to this man? He talks about unbelievably boring stuff, and yet I feel like I know him so well. He is so real. I like his lips. What is going on?! This guy is so fascinating. Not his stories, because he sure is not like all those other guys who just try to entertain. The man himself is so interesting. What is his secret? Oh. I get it. It must be chemistry. So this is how it feels to be in love at first sight!

And then our man shifts to the highest gear of escalation, and deploys the heavy artillery of boring:

POLITICS.

Politics works wonders when delivered with the proper vibe:

I feel particularly fascinated with the female members of the Parliament of the United Kingdom. I must admit, I do not understand British without the closed captions, but even just by looking at them, those gals totally kick ass. I mean, arse. What a style. I think the Brits should start distributing the videos of their Parliament sessions, now those would raise huge enthusiasm of the electorate!

:-)

And so on, all the way to the weather talk, tell me, what does the shape of that cumulus cloud make you think of?

Definitely not the Action/Adventure genre. Probably more like a Romantic Comedy.

Just the kind of genre that brings men and women together.

So what is the secret that has made that man so different? Well, the secret is simple. He spent his last weekend hanging out with a few new friends from Charisma Arts posse, in New York or in Boston, or may be in Washington, D.C., or in any other place where we run our bootcamps. And here is one of the things he learned:

Dare to be boring!

That's a pretty good article... really interesting, but makes me wonder up until what degree it works. I guess the only way to find out is to try it.

I think there probably needs to be a balance though. This is just a complete speculation, and I would want to hear the opinion of the more experienced type like you guys. But... wouldn't a girl start looking at a guy funny if all he talked about was boring things? I mean, he is definitely different than all the other guys that talk about explosions, fast vehicles, money, violence, and past sexual experiences, real or imaginary, but wouldn't a girl think it weird if a guy only talked about laundry, weather, hair brushing, and the way a cookie crumbles? Doesn't the guy also need to create a feeling of happiness and well-being on the girl, so that she sees the guy as being the stimuli for that feeling?

I guess through the conversation you need to figure it out "what makes her feel that way" to really see what type of person she is. One thing I agree though, is that talking to a girl about explosions, fast vehicles, money, violence, and past sexual experiences, real or imaginary, is probably more boring than the other really boring topics.

I don't know where I'm getting with this post, but just wanted to throw my opinion out there and see if you guys think anything of it.

yeah it is a bit ridiculous. But i think the guy has a point when he says "Talk about something else wither than violence, sex etc". You'd be suprised how people react differently when you say the same thing a different way.

I noticed particular lulls in conversations, when you talk to a lot of people you realise how much of conversation is just a conditioned response.

eg." hi, how are you?, what do you do? where do you live".

Dimitri is just saying "Break the usual pattern."

one thing i tried and failed at was being ridiculous. when i was asked what i did for a living "Drywall" sounds boring. so i said dumb things like "I'm an ass model. you know that scene in pearl harbor where you seen ben affleck's ass? that was really mine".

Now some women will laugh at that, and go along with it. they might look at your ass or say something like "WEll, I'm a photagrapher, you and I should arrange something :-)"

If they ask again what your job is just tell them. Some guys say never answer a question seriously but be cocky and funny. Unfortunately, in my experience, those answers are ok and fun, only if you give them a real answer later on. I've been blown out too many times by being too much of an ass. if you can't give a straight answer ever People will assume you are being evasive. Not too say that being mysterious isn't attractive. But if she's already attracted, you want to build rapport, so answer better.

And no matter what you do, you can make your job sound interesting. Now i just say "You know when you walk into a brand new home, the walls are so smooth and flat that it just makes the paint glisten?... That's what i do!". A statement like that is probably not what she usually hears. plus it shows that you have a personality, and you might be passionate about something. just a thought.

Juggler claims he can make reading his grocery list an epic tale. So it wouldn't hurt to try it. just don't go overboard like the guy from The 40 Year old virgin. When h tells his friend what he did for the weekend, LOL.

Statistically, speaking if you ask enough losers out, one will yes. Well, seduction wise if you're having trouble stop being such a chump. Giving a highly competive thing like dating, pattarns emerge. The old T.V. brain wash romance getting replaced by warped NLP. I would say people with NLP don't get laided, however most people are stupid, and among the stupid people their are some who will say yes to you're stupid advance.

Don't be a loser.
Wendy

Well, I think my don't be a loser is good advice.

umm excuse me. but can you quote exactly where i say to use NLP to pick up women? in this thread?

Just ignore Wendy, i think she is slightily insaine.


You can always read her posts..but like she skips words and stuff occasionally. -A little nuts. lol.

Originally Posted by wendylove

Giving a highly competive thing like dating, pattarns emerge. The old T.V. brain wash romance getting replaced by warped NLP. I would say people with NLP don't get laided, however most people are stupid, and among the stupid people their are some who will say yes to you're stupid advance.

Don't be a loser.
Wendy

Well, I think my don't be a loser is good advice.

Wendy is giving advice on social interactions???

Besides, like Ranma said, this thread has nothing to do with NLP.

Originally Posted by wendylove

Statistically, speaking if you ask enough losers out, one will yes. Well, seduction wise if you're having trouble stop being such a chump.

Yeah, I'm sure if I went around spouting some stupid pick up line to 100 girls, at least one of them would get interested. However, I already know this is nowhere near the type of girl I'm wanting to talk to. "Losers" isn't my goal... if that's what you're shooting for, then whatever floats your boat...

You really should read a couple of posts in a thread before you start jabbering your (questionable) opinions.

Originally Posted by ranma187

I noticed particular lulls in conversations, when you talk to a lot of people you realise how much of conversation is just a conditioned response.

eg." hi, how are you?, what do you do? where do you live".

Dimitri is just saying "Break the usual pattern."

Yeah, I see what you mean. It seems that when the conversation starts out like that, there's not much place for it to go, and if keeps going that direction, the awkward silence is coming up pretty quickly.

Originally Posted by ranma187

Unfortunately, in my experience, those answers are ok and fun, only if you give them a real answer later on. I've been blown out too many times by being too much of an ass. if you can't give a straight answer ever People will assume you are being evasive. Not too say that being mysterious isn't attractive. But if she's already attracted, you want to build rapport, so answer better.

That makes sense... if you never give the real answer, I guess she also won't have much to relate to you. I'm the other way usually, just give the plain answer which isn't helpful either. I have a hard time being loose/creative/funny with people I have just met... something I've been trying to work on through people I already know (if that makes any sense).

Originally Posted by ranma187

Juggler claims he can make reading his grocery list an epic tale. So it wouldn't hurt to try it. just don't go overboard like the guy from The 40 Year old virgin. When h tells his friend what he did for the weekend, LOL.

Took me two seconds to remember the scene, but then I laughed out loud... really. Haha, that's such a great movie!

Hmmmm, interesting,

Ill try this out and see how I go.

If I can get a girl to smile or say 'Hi', or even stop to talk then I'm happy.

Sorry I lable all crappy psychological advice as NLP.

Okay the thing is only loser or whores will sleep with you, if you want a relationship cut out the bullshit and be yourself.

If they ask again what your job is just tell them. Some guys say never answer a question seriously but be cocky and funny. Unfortunately, in my experience, those answers are ok and fun, only if you give them a real answer later on.

Be yourself, not a annoying prick. Come on only morons go for a cocky idiot, most relastionships that last are people who are friends first. If you have to put on a act, then you're a loser.

I've been blown out too many times by being too much of an ass. if you can't give a straight answer ever People will assume you are being evasive. Not too say that being mysterious isn't attractive. But if she's already attracted, you want to build rapport, so answer better.

Rapport equals parrot the person, I don't know if someone would like to go out with a puppet, but I don't.

And no matter what you do, you can make your job sound interesting. Now i just say "You know when you walk into a brand new home, the walls are so smooth and flat that it just makes the paint glisten?... That's what i do!". A statement like that is probably not what she usually hears. plus it shows that you have a personality, and you might be passionate about something. just a thought.

If someone told me that I would run the other way, if you want the crazy award do the above. Passion comes from passion not following someone idea of pulling.

Juggler claims he can make reading his grocery list an epic tale. So it wouldn't hurt to try it. just don't go overboard like the guy from The 40 Year old virgin. When h tells his friend what he did for the weekend, LOL.

Seriously do you get you're techniques from films. Has anyone calling themselves Juggler ever got laid?

Be yourself, that means cut the rubbish and the crappy techniques, come on their has to be one person who will be with you for who you are.

Ramma the anwser to you're help question is to be more forceful, take control or you will be controlled. Not listening to Juggler would help too.

[quote=wendylove;422763]Sorry I lable all crappy psychological advice as NLP.

Okay the thing is only loser or whores will sleep with you, if you want a relationship cut out the bullshit and be yourself. [/ quote]

Again Wendy.... actually read what it says in the thread. This is not crappy psychological advice. This thread is for How to be yourself, and not "manipulate". or whatever you think.

I don't know what kind of CRACK you must be smoking... but it must be good shit.

Be yourself, not a annoying prick. Come on only morons go for a cocky idiot, most relastionships that last are people who are friends first. If you have to put on a act, then you're a loser.

Again READ the fucking thread! I never said be a cocky idiot. I've tried that stuff and it doesn't work for me, personally. This is not about "putting on an act". It's about how to take control of your love life, wether you want relationships, one night stands, or just the ability to get out and socialise.

I don't know if you've noticed this phenomena. It states that: So many guys were raised by their mothers with no father figure. These guys learn basically all the wrong things when it comes to learning how to get along with the opposite sex. These are the guys who stare creepiliy at a woman, or buy them things and give them attention without deserving it. These types creep women out a lot. some are stalkers, some commit violent crimes, because of their frustrated drives, this includes rape and pedophelia. By teaching guys of this type the skill to take control of themselves and handle their love lives, a lot of this shit can be prevented.

Besides, i agree with the "be yourself bit". But here's the thing. Most guys who are themselves, have no confidence, most of these guys don't take care of themselves in this this area. to alot of these guys, if being themselves was the answer, they wouldn't have these problems. But, by having someone help point out in themselves, what's good about them and attractive. They can incorporate and build new things on being themselves, better.

Rapport equals parrot the person, I don't know if someone would like to go out with a puppet, but I don't.

Again WHAT CRACK HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING????? Rapport is just a word, that describes a feeling of closeness with someone. it could be that feeling of closeness that you have with family. Or like 2 people in love. Rapport has nothing to do with being a puppet.

If someone told me that I would run the other way, if you want the crazy award do the above. Passion comes from passion not following someone idea of pulling.

Can you please rephrase that in a dialect of english please?

Seriously do you get you're techniques from films. Has anyone calling themselves Juggler ever got laid?

Not that i know of. But i Do know I have Woman that I am fairly happy with, and it wouldn't have been, if not for his "advice".

Be yourself, that means cut the rubbish and the crappy techniques, come on their has to be one person who will be with you for who you are.

Again, for some guys to be themselves is a dangerous thing. About techniques: Is touching someone on the shoulder lightly when you first meet, as a way to help someone get comfortable with them a crappy technique?????? this only goes on in practically every social interaction?

Doy you even know what a technique is LOL? when i first learned guitar, i used "techniques" and i used them until it was no longer a tehcnique... it became natural. You can take ANY human behavior, put it into a technique, and teach that technique to them. And they'll repeat it until it is natural. This includes social dynamics.

Or have you ever watched a movie or, read a fictional story? and it gave you a feeling, or could relate to it? It's all just fake isn't it? yet you felt something?

Not listening to Juggler would help too.

I'm going to be giving a link to one of his ebooks. I suggest you read before you bash something.

and again READ BEFORE YOU BASH.

I don't know if you've noticed this phenomena. It states that: So many guys were raised by their mothers with no father figure. These guys learn basically all the wrong things when it comes to learning how to get along with the opposite sex. These are the guys who stare creepiliy at a woman, or buy them things and give them attention without deserving it. These types creep women out a lot. some are stalkers, some commit violent crimes, because of their frustrated drives, this includes rape and pedophelia. By teaching guys of this type the skill to take control of themselves and handle their love lives, a lot of this shit can be prevented.

Reminds me off the thread with your picture in it.

So many guys were raised by their mothers with no father figure.

Misquoting fight club.

They can incorporate and build new things on being themselves, better.

I.e. changing yourself

You can take ANY human behavior, put it into a technique, and teach that technique to them. And they'll repeat it until it is natural.

Yeah it called brainwashing

Rapport is just a word, that describes a feeling of closeness with someone.

Closeness with a stranger, I have a word for that creepy.

Or have you ever watched a movie or, read a fictional story? and it gave you a feeling, or could relate to it? It's all just fake isn't it? yet you felt something?

No

[quote=wendylove;422830]Reminds me off the thread with your picture in it.['quote]

Yeah that's why several members also said I was cute. not to mention the fact that i get called "cute" everytime i go out.

I.e. changing yourself

yes, or adapting. if an animal can't adapt to it's new enviroment IE. Change itself. It will die plain and simple

Yeah it called brainwashing

brainwashing is when someone's mind gets taken over by somebody else. But if someone lacks a specific skill, and WANTS to change it. And they get the tools and skills necessary, to change it. then I'd say it's a pretty good thing. and not "brainwashing"

Again think before you speak.

Closeness with a stranger, I have a word for that creepy.

No

Well, as much as you have an opinion on this. It's just an opinion. The REALITY is that people, gay ,straight, or lesbian hook up as strangers and fuck for a night and leave it at that. without any part, "buying" or whoring themselves or the other person. That's a social REALITY.

Now if you're not that type of person. That's fine. Just don't post in this thread. 'cause from my perspective it's no different that a jehovah witness coming to my door and trying to "brainwash" me into their cult.

to quote the kickass pantera "Be yourself, By yourself, Stay away from me"

I personally, wouldn't have a relationship with anyone unless i was already sleeping with them. And Ironically The longest relationship I'm having right now, started that way.... go figure.

I didn't make my last quote quite clear. I should rephrase that, if I get the 'technique' to work, then I'm happy and would say it works.

I'm not this low life jerk/weirdo/whatever... (people generalising). You two stop having a go at each other, respect other peoples' values.


Now look into each other's eye...

And apologise!

Originally Posted by person-person

You two stop having a go at each other, respect other peoples' values.


Now look into each other's eye...

And apologise!

Wendy is the source of the problem in this case my friend.

The thread was going perfectly well and on topic until she made a post with nothing to add except call people "annoying pricks" and "cocky idiots" without even taking the time to read the entire thread.

Wendy isnt even worth arguing with, shes prolly just some bitter ugly thing with no personality (which is what really matters) and shes madd at the subject because nobody has ever tryed to pick her up.

EDIT: There was a VERY mean sentence here :-/

Wendy -"No guys have ever tryed to pick me up, , so im just going to make fun of all the PUAs becuase im dumb" Lol

Lol, she isnt worth arguing with at all, her posts arnt worth my time, I should make a thread.

"Does anyone think Wendy is slightily retarded?" Yes or No.
"Can anyone understand 1/2 of what she says?" Yes or No.
"Does anyone think she might be insian?" Yes or No

Lol.

Lol, she isnt worth arguing with at all, her posts arnt worth my time, I should make a thread.

How long did it take to type that post up?
If I'm not worthy of you're time then I suggest not typing anything about me, it would make logical sense.

yes, or adapting. if an animal can't adapt to it's new enviroment IE. Change itself. It will die plain and simple

Well I think the animal environment is different to the human environment. Well, unless you live on a farm or something.

That's a social REALITY.

Yeah, but most people do drugs, drink lots of beer and play football. Do you know that most animals have sex with anything, now do you want to be a animal.

I personally, wouldn't have a relationship with anyone unless i was already sleeping with them. And Ironically The longest relationship I'm having right now, started that way.... go figure.

Sounds boring to me.

I'm going to start ignoring Wendy in this thread, because she's obviously not adding anything about social dynamics. She's just trolling and getting the thread off topic.

Wendy, if you want to keep your conversation going, make a new thread and I'll be more than happy to go there and once again, try to explain to you why you make no sense.

If you plan to keep posting here, then keep it on topic. This is an "Ask/tell about social dynamics" forum. You obviously don't know anything about social dynamics to tell anything, and even if you think you do, we obviously don't want to listen to your (questionable) advices. You're not asking anything, and no one has asked for your advice on anything... so please, stop your random jabbering.

I agree I'll just ignore her from now on.

I will welcome advice from women on here no doubt.

Any questions!! Lol.