Thread: Ask Me/ Tell Me About Social Dynamics

I know what you are saying.
I dont ever have a loss of words to that extreme but it happens.
I normally just give the person some weird look, like "are you crazy!" Or ill shake my head like "wow..." Or ill (sarcasticly) look up and rub my chin like i am over dramatizing thinking, normally you get a laff out of the person.
Sometimes after im like wow, i should have said "this" but nevertheless, im glad i didnt something and didnt just stand there and look akward.

Hmm, me typing it and reading it, it sounds pretty dumb, but its what i do.

Meaning, instead of looking like im stumped, and looking stupid.
I make them feel like "Well, that was a dumb question"

Ehh, best i can explain. Its always better to have someone think they did something dumb then thinking you did. If you did, they might think you arnt worth their time. But if they do something dumb, that makes them all the more want to impress you.

Haha, I like that chin thing, that sounds pretty good. Thanks.

I totally relate.

I'm following juggler's system of conversation. I agree with asking questions or making statements that are more open ended- that lead somewhere.

egs "tell me about yourself? i want to hear everything!"

"Tell me a joke"

"what do you like about living here?"

"what cool places have you been in the world?

"Are you into art of any kind?"

Basically they are questions that allow her to reveal something unique and interesting about herself. If they give too simple of answers. i ask what specific things about it.

eg. "How'd you get your hair to look so colorfull like that?"

her: I dyed it.

ask what products she used or what method.

If she gives a good answer or has a story about it. relate it toa story about you. this should at least geta good convo flowing. BUT what you sometimes run into is non responsive women. And yes there are some women that are TERRIBLE conversationalists.

Or if she doesn't ansewr right off the bat and ignores the first question - keep quiet until she answers. The pause will create a vaccum and she will answer.

for example i was talking to some cutie in a bar. her friend talked to her for a few minutes. I went on talking to other people while she did this. when her freind left her alone. I sat quietly, i didn't try to re-initiate the convo. In a minute she pulls out her purse and starts showing me pictures about her trip.

See, desperate guys will do anything to keep a convo going. If you pause and wait for her to reveal something intetresting about herself, it can be VERY powerfull.

How do i get a mormon chick to like me. I think she does but she's just so predudice against non mormons, its crazy. Im catholic, shes mormon- so she needs a guy who can give her 'priesthood', mormons correct me if im wrong.

Originally Posted by Riff

How do i get a mormon chick to like me.

convert.

Hyptnotise her!

I don't specialise in mormon women. I hardly specialise in women in general, Like i said I'm am a newbie to this stuff myself (practicing it anyway.).

I would just ask her out. This thing could work to your advantage. since you're somewhat taboo - if she already likes you, she might even more if you advance. I would use it to create some sexual tension. Create irresistible temptation! and remember the only way to kill temptation is to yeild to it.

i wouldn't know any specifics but keep this principle in mind.

eg from last night (for creating sexual tension)

Me: I want to do bad things to you... but i don't see how It's goin to work with a guy in his clothes and a girl in a dress.

Her: you're right! we'll have to take those off!

hmmm... this is a good thread. I don't have anything myself to add to the social dynamics topic, but I did find this great site a couple months ago. Check it out if you're into this sort of thing.

http://members.aol.com/nonverbal2/diction1.htm

By the way, I don't really know how to make links so I hope I did it right.

So, I'm about to head to Sacramento to go to a club, for the first time by myself since I moved here to the Bay Area... should be interesting.

"I just wanna dance man! I just wanna dance!"

No matter what happens. Don't be a wallflower. Chances are you'll get rejected a lot. I suggest you get use to it! beside the successes you DO have you will tend to remember more and more, that will slowly build a powerfull confidence!

I'm a freshman in highschool and my friend has the hottest freakin chick in world for his sister (who is a junior in highschool) and she always has her super hot friends over for weekend parties. I just went up to one hot-ass chick who was totally drunk and said "wow, you're really hot." She was wasted as hell and she just hugged me. I found this to be a great opportunity to grab her ass

Moral of the story, don't be a shy little bastard or worry about her "feelings" and shit. We are men. Leave that crap to the little middleschool girls. I'm so F*cking tired right now that I don't even know where I'm going with this. Peace

haha. that's direct. I could see how that might work on drunk girls. BUt me personally what i am after, is women who have more going for them than their looks.

to each his own.

SOI, sexual escalation and sexual barriers explained!

There is a magic point in the interaction when you know you need to escalate and don't know how to do it. The first part is of course using the word 'Sexy' in an SOI (Statement of Intent). However, once you have made a statement of intent, how do you escalate the interaction further The secret is push pull and sexual barriers. I have already outlined push pull in an earlier blog, so now I want to talk about sexual barriers.

Sexual barriers are amazing; they let you get away with saying the most over the top things but do it in a way that makes it easier. Sexual barriers tend to work really well when you do push pull. I always wondered how some of the naturals got away with saying some of the explicitly sexual things they said to women without being slapped. Now I understand so much better. It really is about using push pull to introduce an idea into a woman's head but then taking away the shock of it.

'I really just can't stop thinking about my tongue running up the inside of your thigh, however I just met you and I really can't tell you that.'

I watched Life is Beautiful this weekend and I realized how amazing his seduction of his wife was. He was fun and interesting and at the end of his date he says something to the affect of:

'I want to make love to you so badly, however I realize if I told you that it would be completely absurd and I absolutely wouldn't tell you that. In fact it would take an army to torture me before I told you how much I want to make love to you. I definitely couldn't tell you that.'

What a great line. This is the essence of a sexual barrier. You tell her what you would like, whether it is a kiss or wanting to make love to her, and then you put up a small speed bump like barrier as to why that can't happen. You want her to break down your barrier. If you leave it just saying what you want, you put so much pressure for her to have to accept it or deny it, she won't commit to accepting it. However if you put it out there and almost pull it back, she doesn't have to commit to it. It does put the idea in her head and make it known that is what you want.

The same thing goes with push pull as sexual barriers, you don't want to end on a push or make the barrier so high she won't try to overcome it.

'You are really sexy; if I had my way I'd take you home right now, but since I just met you I absolutely can't. Not in a million years would I sleep with you the first night I met you.'

That isn't a sexual barrier, it is the Berlin wall; she will have to change an entire political regime just to try to scale it. Try something like this:

'You are really sexy, I honestly can't stop thinking about taking you back to my place, even though it seems like we know each other so well, I have to remind myself we only met tonight.'

This lays down the idea of coming home with you tonight, but also sets a small barrier that makes her want to overcome her own worries about not knowing you well enough and seeming desperate. You just showed her you are worried about the same thing so she won't feel so bad revealing to you how much she wants to go home with you as well.

Sexual barriers are powerful from the beginning of the interaction to the end. When you want to kiss her you can use this:

'Honestly I have been looking at your lips for the last ten minutes and can't stop thinking about kissing you, but all these people are watching so it might have to wait till later.'

All the way to her having last minute resistance to sex:

'You're right, we shouldn't do this. Honestly, it would probably be too much for us both if you felt my hand skirting the top of your jeans sliding down to feel the warm wetness inside your legs. It might just drive us both crazy as I slip my hand inside you and you arch your back writhing in pleasure as you feel yourself getting closer to orgasm.'

Sexual barriers increase the sexual tension in an interaction. They also create a fun flirty vibe that is so important in escalation. Remember that unlike men, women are turned on by the idea of sex much more than the visual component of seeing a hot guy. Most men are turned on instantly if they see a hot woman. Women need the mental component to turn them on. Sexual barriers do that. If you are looking to learn how to escalate an interaction faster, take a risk and start introducing sexual barriers.

So, let me ask you this, Guru: Do you think it's a realistic notion that some one could fall in love online? I realise it takes time and patience but, do you think it's even realistic at all?

First of all! I'm not a guru. I'm still figuring a lot of this stuff out! i still get nervice when approaching women. and sometimes my interactions are less than ideal.

For the online thing. While i don't reccomend it. it IS possible. It has been known to happen. When i was in ontario one day on my way home from work. I was on a city bus and struck up a conversation with a construction guy sitting next to me. We got talking about women, and he told me he was married to an australian woman that he met in a chatroom. They chatted a while. he asked for her number. And since it was in his financial bracket. they visited eachother and got married!

So, If you like her and she likes you. i suggest meeting her. Don't waste time!

Originally Posted by ranma187

So, If you like her and she likes you. i suggest meeting her. Don't waste time!

Well, that's not exactly an option. But, it's always encouraging to hear that it's possible. I'm only trying to feel things out. It's confusing for me (well, all involved). I wouldn't jump into calling anything "love". That's certainly not the case but, you never know what the future may hold. If the fates happen to cast fortune upon me I hope to be prepared. And I can't ever hope to be prepared for something that's so improbable that it's a mere wisp in the breeze.

No, I take that back. That's all I can do. After all, even love in person is improbable and fleeting. If you let it slip away it will. The mere thought of the possibility is intriguing though and worthy of my attention, regardless of the outcome. Damn, I'm making less and less sense with every word I type.

Wait, who ever said I was talking about myself?

There's a lot of tips and advice for people who have a problem with actually approaching people and talk to them, but the area where I really need help is actual conversation. I can never think of anything to say to people and conversations that I have usually last about ten sentences if I'm lucky. The rest of the time someone tries to start a conversation with me and I usually reply once and the conversation is over because I've got nothing to say.

I didn't used to be like this though I used to be constantly saying stupid stuff that made people laugh and I was never serious. I actually made a concious decision to change my personality when I realised that the way I acted annoyed/embarrased my friends. Now I never have decent conversations with anyone other than my best friend, my sister and my cousin (pretty sad right). Despite what you probably think from what I've said so far I have load of friends and go out every Friday drinking and having a laugh with my friends (when I'm drunk there's probably another 5 people that I find I can talk to but not for long before I run out of stuff to say). Really I just need to know how you actually keep a conversation going or start a conversation with someone without sounding totally random and stupid.

I have the same problem some times. THe point is to keep yourself commited to an interaction. i have already posted a quick guidline for conversation:


egs "tell me about yourself? i want to hear everything!"

"Tell me a joke"

"what do you like about living here?"

"what cool places have you been in the world?

"Are you into art of any kind?"

Basically they are questions that allow her to reveal something unique and interesting about herself. If they give too simple of answers. i ask what specific things about it.

eg. "How'd you get your hair to look so colorfull like that?"

her: I dyed it.

ask what products she used or what method.

If she gives a good answer or has a story about it. relate it toa story about you. this should at least geta good convo flowing. BUT what you sometimes run into is non responsive women. And yes there are some women that are TERRIBLE conversationalists.

Or if she doesn't ansewr right off the bat and ignores the first question - keep quiet until she answers. The pause will create a vaccum and she will answer.

for example i was talking to some cutie in a bar. her friend talked to her for a few minutes. I went on talking to other people while she did this. when her freind left her alone. I sat quietly, i didn't try to re-initiate the convo. In a minute she pulls out her purse and starts showing me pictures about her trip.

To give a further analysis: Use anything to open the conversation. this can be "hi", something situational : "wow i saw how fast you grabbed that drink! you get what you want often dont ya?". A compliment on something she's wearing.

When you've opened. she will either respond positively. or she won't at all. I prefer openeers with a question that i want an answer to. If she doesn't answer right away, i wait. This creates a vaccum where she HAS to answer.

then you can make open ended statements, or questions. avoid questions that lead to yes/no answers but rather something she can describe. then you LISTEN to what she says and use whatever information she gives you to respond with a story about yourself. Don't ask her things that you already don't have a story prepared for. When she says something that's unique to her that you like. STATE it. a statement of intent (SOI)

for example: "not only are you sexy, but also a great conversationalist."
"wow, you pay attention to detail, where have you been all my life."

when you run out of things to say. WAIT until she continues the convo (vacuum).

Now, if you can tell she likes the interaction. LEAD. say on a high point when she accepts your SOI. if you can't think of anything to say. Do a close or venue change.

from the video's i put on the first page. they describe how to close.

you can venue change by saying "let's talk someplace a little more quiet." then you take her hand. and LEAD her to another part of the bar. or you say "I'm hungry let's go to a 24 hr resteraunt". and take her somewhere else. You can do this a couple times in one night and it will give her the feeling of having known you for longer than she actually has. creates Rapport. Also notice the statements aren't questions. You are the man and leading her. not asking her permission!

OK: i found a good addition to go with the video's i posten on the first page. they are Podcasts for the seduction school videos. They have good examples of conversations with REAL people.



http://forum.charismaarts.com/podcas...apodcast12.mp3

Wow, that's some great advice, ranma187. Thanks a lot, I think this'll help me out a lot.

As promised. here's some ebooks based around Juggler method.

Why do i choose Juggler? because a lot of other Pick up methods focus on being a jerk, hyptnotising a woman, and lines/routines. Although this stuff can be usefull, it is a very limiting approach to what you can do. I want to have options when i meet people. Most methods only give you one way of dealing with a situation. In my opinion JM (juggler method) teaches you a. how to be a good conversationalist. Gives key points to any interaction and not only that, gives a variety of things to do in any of those situations.

To elaborate Further: For those of you who've read "The Game" by Neil Strauss. Remember the part where the whole communit has used all the same routines EVERYWHERE. Neil was running into women that had already heard his stuff a dozen times from other people. In those situations, he was stuck and wasn't able to adapt. And he dare claims himself one of the greatests pickup artists in the world!

How to use JM: if you REALLY want to get good at being social and having lots of women in your life. wether you want a lover, or just the ability to meet new people, possibly sleep with them. If you are shy and have trouble, than i suggest you dedicate yourself. This means getting out 2-3 times a week. don't limit yourself to bars or clubs. Malls, Dancing Classes, Yoga, parks etc. are all great places to practice.

Practice it systematically. first focus on opening. then, go onto conversation and SOI. Then practice closing. you can do one each on a different night. If you practice this sytematically every week. within 6 months to a year, you will be amazed at how easily you will be able to do this. You will run into people you haven't seen in years and they will literally not recognise you!

here are the books: http://rapidshare.com/files/36440976...ethod.rar.html

Originally Posted by tyrantt23

So, I'm about to head to Sacramento to go to a club, for the first time by myself since I moved here to the Bay Area... should be interesting.

"I just wanna dance man! I just wanna dance!"

Originally Posted by ranma187

I know you mentioned in the social dynamics thread about this. Keep us appraised on your developing social skills!

I meant to give an update of that bar night, but never got around to it. I still have some lingering questions though, so I'll give a little rundown of how my night went, and what my questions are:

So, I started out by driving 45 minutes to Sacramento. I was mainly interested in dancing, but also ready to engage in a few quick conversations. When I was walking towards the club I was going to, I met another group of 2 guys and one girl that were going to the same place. There was a big line and a cover charge, so we smoked a cigarette and talked for a bit. The conversation went alright, no awkward silence, no signs of them thinking I'm weird for being by myself. They decided to go back to the bar they were at before instead of waiting in line, and since I said I was new to the area, they asked if I wanted to come along. The two guys were very drunk, but a friendly drunk, the girl didn't seem so, but she was sexy and I was still trying to figure out if she was single, so what the hell, I went along for the walk.

Once we got at the bar, I was introduced to 5 more of their friends, and hung out there listening to some live music. Now, at times like that when I'm around complete strangers, I tend to be a little lost in the conversation and feel a bit out of place. They are talking about things that I don't know, and I'm trying to listen to all the separate conversations at the same time to hopefully find a topic that I can relate to and then comment on it. What usually happens though is that I end up looking from conversation to conversation, not really knowing what they're talking about, and trying to look interested by giving smiles/laughing... when a topic does pop up that I may have something to comment, then I'm reluctant to say anything, because I wasn't paying much attention to that particular conversation in the first place, so I don't know if what I think is relevant really is. Does that make any sense?

Anyway, I went to get another beer, it was just me and the other two guys I met earlier were talking, the conversation was going good. Then they saw another friend, and introduced me to her. She was alright-looking. I'll call her Sara. Now, I'm not trying to be shallow, but by her looks, I didn't have much interest in Sara. I went out for a cig and she came along. We were talking for a little while, again, the conversation was going well, no awkward pauses, I tried to be funny a few times, but since I wasn't really interested in her, I didn't KINO, and didn't SOI... just chatted.

The guys I had met earlier (and the girl) all left while I was smoking the cig because one of the guys had to go be the DJ for some other club. $20.00 cover charge, so I stayed talking with Sara. Back at the bar, she brought me to her table... 8 other friends that I met. 7 girls, and one guy that I'm 99% sure was gay (I have nothing against gay people by the way). Yeah, I was under a bit of pressure there, and feeling a bit out of place once again, but I just tried to keep some sort of conversation with the girl I'd just met, without closing ourselves from the table. It was a large group of people I didn't know, so the same thing also happened a few times, where I just looked from person to person, trying to capture the conversations and trying to comment on it. At the same time, I was trying to figure out which girl was good looking, which girl was single, which girl looked interested in me... yes, a task that's pretty much impossible, especially considering I never asked any questions regarding that subject. lol.

Fast forward a bit, the bar was closing down. "What now?" was the mutual concern... some of the girls were planning on going back home. Sara and her brother, came up with the idea of buying some liquor and going to the park in Sacramento to drink. Sara lives in San Francisco, but was in Sacramento for the night, so everyone thought "alright" to the idea of hanging out and drinking a bit more. Sara rode in the car with me. We all got to the store a few minutes late, and they weren't selling alcoholic beverages anymore. Her friends decided to go back home, and Sara asked if I could drop her brother at his place, and her at her parent's place (where she was spending the night at). Shurrr... why not?

On the ride back, turns out that she and her brother are huge fans of Bossa Nova type of music, so I scramble through some CDs and end up finding some, which happened to be her favorite song. Hah, bonus points for me... lucky draw. After dropping her brother off, she asks if I was ok to drive 45 minutes back home, or if I wanted to stay at her parent's house for a bit. Now, like I said, I never made any advances on her, and I wasn't all that interested in her, but she had a pretty nice body (not as much on face), and I have a real hard time saying no to advances from women 1 on 1 like that. So when I dropped her off, I asked if I could use the bathroom.

After getting out, she asks if I want to hang out for a bit. She was supposed to sleep on the couch in the living room that night, her parents already asleep on the room close near the living room. I thought it might be a bit difficult to do anything, but what the heck, I'm already there, so why not hang out for a little bit. We tried to pick out a movie to watch, and she says Elizabeth might be nice to watch because of all the pretty colors, so I was down with it. We sat down and the first scene of the movie was some people getting tortured and burned to death... ah, so romantic! She said she forgot how violent the movie was, but I didn't really care, I knew where this was going already.

We talked a little bit as the movie was playing, and after rapport was pretty built up, I turned my head and we started kissing. Kissing went to me being on top of her, to some mutual masturbations, to orgasm, to her giving me oral. She seemed very little experienced in it... just very plain, up and down motion kind of thing.... but its still not that bad right? Eventually I get another orgasm, and well... she keeps on with the oral. So, the scene at that time started getting a little awkward and funny to me. I had already had two orgasms, had the small little TV playing that intense movie in front of me, her parents are asleep next door, and her head is going up and down like a yo-yo on crack. I was already feeling very satisfied, but how do you go about telling a girl that "hey, can you stop giving me oral now?" If you know, please tell me. Instead, I just sat back and let it happen... just examined everything and found the whole situation very funny. After a few more minutes I actually had a third orgasm to my own surprise.

To wrap up this huge story of that night, we sat for a little while longer in the living room, with not much to say other than being polite and commenting that "wow, that was good." Then I suggested a cigarette and we both went outside, smoked, and that was my exit plan. When we got done smoking, I said I should probably head back home, I got her phone number, and drove the 45 minutes back home.

That was a week and half ago... and I haven't called her.

So, first of all, I'm really sorry for the huge story. Now, I just have a few questions and wanted some opinions from you all... am I too shallow for not being interested on her based on her looks? What is a good way to go about when meeting a large group of people, like the table with the 7 girls? Also... are there any etiquettes that most people follow for a one night stand like that? Am I an ass for not having called her? She said she would show me around San Francisco, but that would mean I would be with her, and not really be meeting other people/girls... so, I just never called. What do you guys think?

Once again, sorry for the huge post, hopefully whoever reads at least parts of it will find it a bit entertaining. That's all folks... I'm heading to bed now. Nite.

EDIT: OMG! After posting it I can see how huge my post really is. Damn... I don't blame you guys if you don't read any of it. hehe.

Yeah i woulda spent soem time circling the bar. Push yourself to approach wether or not you think they look friendly or not. This is very hard to do. but trust me once you do it enough, doors will open!

WEll i think she gets the message if you haven't called her. But if she wants to show you around and stuff.. and maybe she ahs girlfriends that are better looking than her. As for asking wether a girl is single. Just ask right off the bat, or into the convo later if she's single. "what's your relationship situation like?" If she has a bf, that doesn't mean she's off limits. just continue on like nothing. In the ebook i uploaded juggler talks about what specifically he does in that situation.

For group dynamics. Just walk in. Talk to everyody and be friendly. Don't just approach one girl in the group because that would be too obvious. Talking to everyone BUT your target would also be too obvious. find out ways to address them as a group. If there are guys in the group, talk to them first and ask them if any of the girls in their group are the girlfriends. etc.

anyway in my above posts i provided some links to material. These should answer a lot of questions.

No bother about the long post. When i finally get off my ass and go socialise I'll probly post a few field reports as well.

This is a very complicated issue, and there is no single formula that works universally. I don't claim to be a player king, but I think I understand things from a coach's standpoint, and that sometimes helps me when I try to play the game myself. In other words, my ability to understand how all of this works and to explain it exceeds my ability to put it into practice, but my understanding sometimes helps my practice. I'll tell you what I have observed and learned.

The first thing to consider is that there are all kinds of women, and each woman requires a different approach. There is no universal formula. However, you can put the different types of women into major categories. I put women into two major categories, each of which has subcategories. You have to understand the natures of the categories to make things work effectively. Also, there are categories of men, and the only relationships and even one night hook ups that can work involve the correct matches of types, with the extra clause that there is an acting factor that works into the equation.

The two major types of women (None of this is meant to be insulting. It is just a matter of nature that has to be dealt with. Both major categories have their good aspects.):

1. Women with strong integrity and emotional and intellectual depth-- These women are usually very relationship oriented and are looking for men who are genuine and nice and who show that they are capable of loyalty and lasting romance. With these women, games don't really have to be played, although some flirting is welcomed and helpful to some extent, but it is not what is really important to them. Don't worry about games with them. You can be yourself around them, and connecting with them is what it's all about. But still try to not show much weakness. Backbone and responsiblility mean a good bit to them, usually. Every man has his type, and if this is not your type, then don't waste your time. If this is your type, you have the gift of being capable of a very good relationship that can last as long as the rest of your life. True romance happens with these women and the men that end up with them. Excellent situation, if you are into that type of woman. Unfortunately, many men don't have the right chemistry for them. But be careful. This category has a large faction of women who are seeking out men they think they can control. The control tactic is mainly about making underhanded insult comments while giving a playful smile so the demeaning will stick. The goal of that is to slowly reduce your self esteem so much that you feel like they are fit to control you and are justified in doing so. Don't ever fall for that. It will destroy your soul. But the ones who are not into control and instead respect your humanity are the greatest women in the world.

2. Women who are more concerned with the security that comes with a man's level of power or at least appearance of power. They are wired to put that way above loyalty and kindness. In fact, most of them don't really hold loyalty and kindness on any kind of pedestal romantially, although most of them appreciate it in terms of the friendship potential it offers. Beware of being used. The men who are made for category 1 usually don't have a prayer with this kind of woman. These are the rock star groupie types, the bimbo cheerleaders, the bar sluts, and the unstable and whorish wild women who have no interest in Mr. Nice Guy. None of these women even notice Mr. Nice Guy until they need somebody to listen to their problems and have a buddy. These women are looking for gladiators and rock stars and often are very sickly turned on by disrespect toward them. If you are not a gladiator (football player, male dominance obsessed redneck, etc.) or a celebrity or rock star, or at least in a rock band at all, your only hope is to play games. Act cocky and funny the best you can, and do it like you MEAN it. That goes very far with those women. Put on the illusion you are something big, but you have to be very convincing that you are sure of what you are saying. Never let your face show the first sign of doubt.

It is also necessary to be a routine bullshitter, and do it with funny cockiness. But try to make a connection, no matter how fake. Keep the cocky humor going, but do it in such a way that you are still connecting and making them smile. Never show any sign that you doubt what you are doing, and don't ever let on that if you are rejected it will be the slightest problem. You want to come off like you have plenty of women and can 't get bent out of shape at all by just one. Act light hearted, but powerful. And again.... Act it out like you mean it. A half job will come across as really cheesy. Do a lot of smiling, and put on the illusion that you are totally comfortable and having a good time. Bring about a lot of laughs, and act as though you and the woman are already friends. Make her feel comfortable with you. You might want to claim that you sing or play guitar for a rock band. Better yet, the be all end all of getting this type of woman is to really be in a rock band. It doesn't have to be a great act. It just has to be one that exists and has some people mentioning you. If she sees you perform in front of an audience, you've practically got a done deal, even if your band isn't very good. And very importantly, don't act submissive. You have to show dominance, but in lovable form. Don't act like you are the applicant at a job interview. Act like you are the boss and she is the applicant. If you act like she is in control and you are anxiously being interviewed, it is over, unless you are in a rock band.

The bottom line: Put on the solid appearance of power, and maintain it while putting on an affect of ease. Keeping ease and connecting eye communication is the most important aspect of that. Keep common eye contact, but don't look like a deer in headlights. Make your eyes at ease and playfully seductive and welcoming with the appearance of surety. You don't have to be confident. You just have to put a full effort into appearing confident. That is what is most important. If you act like a king and act like you mean it, she will think you are a king. Keep the attitude that she is lucky to be talking to you, even if it is just a method acting job.

With that type of woman, don't make the mistake of searching and searching for common conversation ground that will help you hit it off. It will never happen. They are not hit it off types. You have to just B.S. about whatever, and I mean WHATEVER. Just talk about some insignificant bullshit, but act opinionated about it while showing total confidence and use your tone of voice to suggest that it is really a subject that is important just because you found it worth talking about. But switch back and forth between that and maintaining the connection while bringing up subjects that mean things to her and letting her just talk. Pay just enough attention to seem interested and throw in your playfully cocky two cents from time to time. That is your best hope for conversation with that general type.

Because there is a manipulative acting job involved in that, unless you are in a rock band or are a celebrity or very rich, many people are not cut out for it. But practice goes a very long way.

A good preparation is to go out a few times with the intention of getting rejected by as many women as possible as you practice your techniques. Laugh after every time a rejection happens. This will take away your fear of rejection, the ultimate killer of confidence. When you see rejection as something entertaining and have no fear of rejection, you have nothing left but confidence. That will work wonders.

When you succeed, don't think it's time to start showing that you want a relationship. You have to keep playing the same game for a while. It results in arousal, and that is a necessary element for those situations to ever get off the ground before romance can ever start to work. If she starts acting romantic, play back some but take it with a grain of salt.

Like I said, I am more of a coach than a player when it comes to this, although I have some history of both, but I have studied this stuff to the bone and know what generally works. Good luck.

Originally Posted by Universal Mind

1. Women with strong integrity and emotional and intellectual depth-- These women are usually very relationship oriented and are looking for men who are genuine and nice and who show that they are capable of loyalty and lasting romance. With these women, games don't really have to be played, although some flirting is welcomed and helpful to some extent, but it is not what is really important to them. Don't worry about games with them. You can be yourself around them, and connecting with them is what it's all about. But still try to not show much weakness. Backbone and responsiblility mean a good bit to them, usually. Every man has his type, and if this is not your type, then don't waste your time. If this is your type, you have the gift of being capable of a very good relationship that can last as long as the rest of your life. True romance happens with these women and the men that end up with them. Excellent situation, if you are into that type of woman. Unfortunately, many men don't have the right chemistry for them. But be careful. This category has a large faction of women who are seeking out men they think they can control. The control tactic is mainly about making underhanded insult comments while giving a playful smile so the demeaning will stick. The goal of that is to slowly reduce your self esteem so much that you feel like they are fit to control you and are justified in doing so. Don't ever fall for that. It will destroy your soul. But the ones who are not into control and instead respect your humanity are the greatest women in the world.

Sounds like some one has been reading my mind. You describe the woman I want to be with almost perfectly, hopefully sans the whole "destroying your soul" part. And the underhanded comments aren't there either. Nor the control... to my observations. Take away the bad parts and bold the good and you have what I'd like to have some day.

Screw the one-night standers (well, actually, don't screw them). I could never understand wanting or pursuing that kind of woman. It just seems so cheap, like everyone involved is being short-changed.