Thread: Ask Me/ Tell Me About Social Dynamics

k I found some basic material via. Youtube.

Some may have already seen this. This is pretty basic social skills getting instilled into clueless guys.

Seduction school:

Pt1.: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DYn4-h3Cnk
Pt.2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_C4ELcauk4
Pt.3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39S_Z3R4KWg
Pt4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFIlBT_T0d8
Pt5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KI3f4Z0ybis

Starting Lucid Dreaming actually made me less shy, I have more distance on real life...but still only a bit of alcohol can make me move my ass...

lol alcohol can be good for eliminating fear. I have a tendancy to get TOO drunk. Alcohol slows your reaction time down and you will mis out on the subtle cues you are recieving.

I've analysed myself a bit: rare are the women I'm attracted to, and if I see one I tell myself "I'm not up to it..."
Suggestions?

This stuff really dose work guys, i used to be really into it, it really helped me break through my shyness, now i can pretty much approach and talk to anyone, and have converstaions with anyone while holding eye contact.

I used to turn red everyever i talked to anyone superior over me, or any pretty girls unless i was very comfortable with them. You could call it "proformance anxiety"

Originally posted by techboy
In all seriousness, what made me less shy was... growing up.

well, techboy! Understand that not everyone is you! And you're right! you gotta be a man, grow up. not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.

But those statements "grow up" and "be a man". are vague and really don't say anything about how to grow up. The easiest way is to confront your fears. Step outside your conditioned
behaviors and replace them with other Behaviors.

Krookedking- simply tell yourself a different story. Instead of "I'm not up to it". Replace it with "I'm made for this". It's the same affirmations you use to remember more dreams and become lucid. After a while something sinks in.

You generally want a positive internal state. Notice from the videos i posted. The guys that were extremely nervice - It showed in their body language. They didn't smile, they were leaning in, the one guy was mumbling. If you have a powerfull and positive internal state, with a bit of sexuality, will automatically take care of all those non-verbal things that are cockblocking you. And notice how after a while in the videos, the students appeared more confident - less tension in their face, voice tone, they were smiling. All these things communicate more than a pickup line, or routine will ever convey. And they had a right to those things because they had EXPERIENCE.

So krooked king, keep these things in check. replace or shut off that internal diologue by ACTION. Just do it anyway. Don't try to be anything, just be natural.

There's a saying in Therapy, about resistant clients. The resistance is not a statement about the client, but really, a statement about what the therapist is doing. in essence: The response you are getting is the meaning of your communication.

Sucky Posts Removed, lets try and avoid senselessness outside the Senseless banter forum.

Here's an interesting article i found on Eye contact. Shyne123 mentioned holding eye contact.
I have already field tested this stuff tons of time at bars, malls, etc. having the right EC, with the right wak/style of clothing etc. can eliminate some of not having to approach strangers, if your uncomfortable with that, and get them to approach you.

Eye Contact Pickup Theory -- David Shade

Eye Contact Experiment

I asked one woman friend of mine "why did you go out with him?"
and she replied: "because when I looked at him he kept eye contact with me."

When I recall the very successful people I have had the pleasure of working for in the corporate world, I remember that they all maintained eye contact while speaking to me. When you watch somebody successful being interviewed on TV, like Scott McNealy of
Sun, you notice that they never look away from their interviewer's eyes and they rarely blink.

You are approaching a chick in the hall as you walk towards each other. When should you look at her? (Her eyes, silly. If you look at anything else, it's over.) I have tried all combinations. If I wait until the last instant, I either find she is not looking, or, if she is
looking, she quickly looks away. If I look at her and she looks at me and I look away, then she never looks again. Then I tried something bold and decide I will look at her eyes the entire time. To my amazement, she gazes like a deer into headlights. Never
breaks eye contact. So I decide to try this little experiment.

Recently I spent a week attending meetings in one of our buildings filled with educated successful professional women in their 20's and 30's. Most are definitely doable. Some are gorgeous. Some are married, some are not. I spent my time between meetings trying
this: I would pick a different floor and I would walk down each hall, walking just slightly to the right of center. When I saw a woman walking towards me, I maintained looking at her eyes. Only the heavy ones did not keep looking. But for all the others, including the
gorgeous ones, they maintained eye contact the entire time. I never blinked. They never blinked. They broke eye contact only when we were just about next to each other. I broke eye contact only after she did. What really amazed me was that by the time we
passed, almost every chick had broken a smile. Some even said "Hi." I did not smile or say Hi until they first did.

These halls were not long. Each woman was no farther than 30 feet away when I first saw her. But what if it had been a very long hall? How far down the hall should I start looking at her eyes? I certainly don't want to scare her. I look straight ahead, and then
when she is about 30 feet away, I start looking into her eyes.

I then went to the mall a few times to try the experiment there. Most did not look at all. Of those who did look, most only looked for a second. Only about a third locked on. Of those, about half broke a smile or said Hi. A couple of them where so moved that they
almost tripped.

Do you have to be walking? I tried the experiment while sitting. Almost none maintained eye contact. Do they have to be walking? While I was walking I would look at any chicks who were sitting. The results were the same as if we were both walking.

If I was approaching two chicks, and looked from one to the other, I lost them both. So, if I am in such a situation, I lock onto one and I don't change my mind.

If I smiled or said Hi, while she was still looking at me, but before she smiled or said
Hi,
it would usually result in my loosing her. On rare instances did it make her smile and say
Hi with enthusiasm. So, I never smile or say Hi until she first does so, and I smile if
she
smiles and say Hi if she says Hi.

If she did not lock eye contact with me, I would go ahead and say Hi when she got close to me. In many instances she would then enthusiastically turn to me and smile and say Hi.

I would also look at chicks who were with a man if he was not looking in my general direction. I was surprised at the number of times that she would lock on and actually smile.

I noticed that the better I dressed, or the sexier I dressed, the better I did. I noticed that the women who looked where better dressed then those who did not.

Eye contact in a bar is an entire science in itself. When done correctly, it can be fucking lethal.

Real men never stare. They lock eye contact. There is a difference between staring and locking eye contact. They are two totally different things.

When you look at a woman, here is what you do. Lock eye contact with her. Don't blink. Don't look at her friend. Pick one eye and don't let go. You only get one chance at this. Don't give up. Don't smile. Don't say anything. You are telling her that you are
interested in her and you are not intimidated by her. Then leave it up to her. You will be amazed at the staring capability that women posses.

She is thinking "Who is this guy to be so bold as to continue looking at me while I look at him? Now this is interesting. He is different." She knows that if she lets go now, she will loose you. She will go one of two ways. If she wants to loose you, she will break
eye contact and look away. If she does not want to loose you, but is instead intrigued by what you are doing, she knows that she has to eventually end the stare down and she will have to make the move. She will have to either smile or say Hi.

If she smiles, you smile. If she says Hi, you say Hi. Don't say Hello. Then you reward her and make your move.

Of course, you don't always have to wait for eye contact to make your move.

David Shade[/b]

Originally Posted by Aphius

Sucky Posts Removed, lets try and avoid senselessness outside the Senseless banter forum.[/b]

booo!

Originally Posted by ranma187

k I found some basic material via. Youtube.

Some may have already seen this. This is pretty basic social skills getting instilled into clueless guys.

Seduction school:

Pt1.: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DYn4-h3Cnk
Pt.2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_C4ELcauk4
Pt.3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39S_Z3R4KWg
Pt4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFIlBT_T0d8
Pt5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KI3f4Z0ybis[/b]

Watched the first one out of curiosity and ended up watching all of them in a row... very helpful information. I've been living near San Francisco for 3 months now, and the couple of times I went out by myself, I was pretty terrified... not knowing how to approach women basically. I should make a goal of going out this Friday and seeing how things go...

Do you have more insights on how to approach women? What are some good open ended questions that help get the conversation going? How would I go about approaching a group of 3 or more women?

EDIT: very interesting theory on the Eye Contact Pickup. One question though... you start walking towards a girl, lock eye contact with her, but as you get near her, she looks away. Would you still approach her, or just go for someone else? Or am over analyzing and should just approach more women regardless, to get the hang of it (like on the seduction school vids)?

Originally Posted by ranma187

k I found some basic material via. Youtube.

Some may have already seen this. This is pretty basic social skills getting instilled into clueless guys.

Seduction school:

Pt1.: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DYn4-h3Cnk
Pt.2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_C4ELcauk4
Pt.3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39S_Z3R4KWg
Pt4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFIlBT_T0d8
Pt5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KI3f4Z0ybis[/b]

Thanks for all this.
Appearently I need it since I can barely watch when these guys approach strangers. I feel really uncomfortable unless I've got alchohol in my body. Going to watch them all now!

Originally Posted by tyrantt23

Watched the first one out of curiosity and ended up watching all of them in a row... very helpful information. I've been living near San Francisco for 3 months now, and the couple of times I went out by myself, I was pretty terrified... not knowing how to approach women basically. I should make a goal of going out this Friday and seeing how things go...

Do you have more insights on how to approach women? What are some good open ended questions that help get the conversation going? How would I go about approaching a group of 3 or more women?

EDIT: very interesting theory on the Eye Contact Pickup. One question though... you start walking towards a girl, lock eye contact with her, but as you get near her, she looks away. Would you still approach her, or just go for someone else? Or am over analyzing and should just approach more women regardless, to get the hang of it (like on the seduction school vids)?[/b]

generally i don't approach them if they don't hold it. You can tell wether it works or not. some girls look away defensively - stay away from those. some won't say "hi" but it will seem like your look almost hits a sweet spot, when they suddenly squint their eyes and smile sheepishly, at that point say "HI."

And yeah get the hang of it. you'll crash and burn at first but if you keep at it, you'll hit the right place eventually.

remember- not all women are available.

some women are already in a happy relationship.
Some women are lesbians and have no interest in men etc.

take none of these things personally. if you get blown out. just get into another interaction right away.

also do a "newbie mission" for warmup. when you pass any stranger on the street - smile and say "hi". when you get used to that, then do the KINO opener.

KINO opener?

ahem it's on the video's. touch them on the arm/shoulder when you approach...

Originally Posted by ranma187

Here's an interesting article i found on Eye contact. Shyne123 mentioned holding eye contact.
I have already field tested this stuff tons of time at bars, malls, etc. having the right EC, with the right wak/style of clothing etc. can eliminate some of not having to approach strangers, if your uncomfortable with that, and get them to approach you.[/b]

That guy is probably attractive getting all those positive responses... If a fat guy would do the same thing he'd be ignored for sure.

Watch the video lol, girls love kino, they normally dont care, and most of them arnt as vein as us men.
We only think they are because most people that arnt confident with their looks dont approch.

I kino peoples moms lol, especially dates mothers.
They love it too.

(touch their shoulder, or instead of shaking hand putting their hand inbetween both of mine and waiting a second, while smiling and saying "hello!")


It might seem like you are hitting on them, but they dont care mothers love it too

Any tips on how to get a conversation started on the right foot? Any good approach methods after the "hi" along with the KINO opener?

I read of a pretty good icebreaker that I plan on trying tomorrow night... I hope its not overused:
"Who's the creep who left you alone with all these men?"

Any opinions? Anything else along those lines? Anyone would like to set a goal on how many women I should approach tomorrow? :sweat1:

I'll be by myself at either a bar or club, and probably pretty terrified since I'm really not used to going out without some good friends around me. Any remarks or last words of wisdom?

Don't use pick up lines?

--Send you a pm about this tyrant.

And i do manily agree with Jess..i normally just like the "hello" with kino, or asking a opinion about something stupid, and of course, with kino.


But pickup lines i guess can be helpfull.

My fav is "what do you think about my hair? Im growing it out."

From that the conversation can lead to fashion, anything really...even music. -> Easy to keep up that convo for most people.

Also it can lead to what a girl likes/dislikes about that hair, what she generaly infers about guys with longer hair that she likes, or dislikes about it. Then you can alter your personailty to be perfect for her.


For instance if she were to say, "I dont like guys with long hair becuase they are generally feminen" "But i do like it because they arnt cheep?" (Lol im just making stuff up, i cant think right now)

Then you alter yourself (deepen your voice, be masculen, and buy her something dumb lol)


I actually dont do that stuff, i like to be myself. Im not sure why i even typed that lol its called "elicting values" Im going to sleep.

GL Tyrant.

Originally Posted by Jess

Don't use pick up lines? [/b]

I know... I've read a lot about using pick up lines. I'm just looking for some witty lines; things I can say that could break the ice or renew the conversation if need be.
The "did you just fall from the sky? cause you're an angel" kind of thing is pretty ridiculous though.

Originally Posted by Jess

--Send you a pm about this tyrant.

And i do manily agree with Jess..i normally just like the "hello" with kino, or asking a opinion about something stupid, and of course, with kino.
But pickup lines i guess can be helpfull.

My fav is "what do you think about my hair? Im growing it out."

From that the conversation can lead to fashion, anything really...even music. -> Easy to keep up that convo for most people.[/b]

Thanks for the advices ShYne123... haha, great thing to ask. lol... very unexpected thing to say. As far as changing the way I act... that would definitely not fly with me. I don't like trying to act like something I'm not, and I'm sure it would fall through sooner than later... then I'd just look stupid.

The eye contact article is quite interesting. I remember whenever we would have guest speakers in school, I would always keep my eyes focused on the speaker's eyes and they would seem to pay more attention to me and I would get the feeling they were speaking to me.

I know we have some awkward teens in here, so I am going to do them a favor and ask: how would this work in a school situation? I am also a teenager but I am not asking for myself.

Originally Posted by CymekSniper

how would this work in a school situation? I am also a teenager but I am not asking for myself.[/b]

Are you talking about the eye contact thing? My guess is "Hey, that kid is creepy. He stares at everyone." That's about it.

No, not the eye contact thing, the whole hooking up with chicks deal. I think if you employ eye contact correctly, then it can be a powerful tool/