Things to Run Away From Really Fast

Hidden in a tiny nook inside the metal walls of the space station, I feel Darth Vader sweep by my hiding place. His footsteps rattle the walls, and I can vaguely hear him giving orders to subordinates.

I am the space station, I chant, blending further into the background. The stark walls are etched by suffering. The station belongs to the Empire—although it masquerades as a lawless refuelling station—and if the Empire's agents make demands, the station management will fall all over itself to capitulate.

"Find her."

I smile.

Then I'm walking through corridors until I reach the outside of the station. The rooms that I walk through are open to vacuum, but I don't bother with a spacesuit. Opening an airlock would be logged on the station's computer, as would removing a spacesuit from storage, and that would tip my hand. Unnecessary, when I can just walk through space under my own power.

It's fucking cold, though. My skin is literally freezing in chunks, but that will go away once I re-enter the living areas of the station.

I can see the stars stretched out in front of me through the transparisteel window, and I step through the glass—

And fall.

I catch myself with a thought. I glide towards the station, where I can see in through the windows and spy upon my quarry. (I wrap myself up in thick blankets as I do so.)

---

The Exile—and administrator of the station—looks enraged.

"These are our people!" he shouts at the officer. "I will NOT allow them to be put in harms way because of political machinations."

---

We're on the surface of a rocky planet, under an orange sky. The other darksider has his lightsaber out, taunting me.

You can't kill me, he says, not bothered by the lightsaber wound jutting through his abdomen. I've upgraded my body: these machines make me invincible.

I charge at him and plunge my red lightsaber into his stomach, psychically forcing lines of corrupted code into his body through the blade. He falls.

★★★★☆

01/12/11

Darth Vader is quite literally on ice, lying frozen in the bathtub. All part of your regular Wednesday morning kidnapping attempt. The plan is to free Vader from the control of the Emporer, and to take our chances with a renegade Sith Lord. (Large-scale mayhem is the most likely outcome, but to Parker, that might just be the most interesting one.)

I'm stripping the Stormtrooper uniform off of some poor, dead bastard when a man in a black flight suit rounds the corner. He freezes for a moment, processing me, half dressed as a Stormtrooper and the body half undressed... I shoot him in the head with a blaster pistol.

"Everything okay in there, Nate?" says a voice crackling through the earpiece.

"Everything's fine, Eliot." I reply, putting a hand to my ear. I scowl at the second, inconvenient body for a moment before a new plan starts to form in my mind.

"Parker, are you in position?" I say, pulling on the gloves of my uniform.

"Nate?" says Sophie, concern in her transmitted voice, "What are you thinking?"

I smile as I slip the Stormtrooper helmet over my head. "We're going to steal a Death Star."

Leverage. Scare Factor: 2.

Fun dream, but the writing's kind of screwy.

Moving out of Saskatchewan! Maybe I'll stop dreaming about "Ixburg".

09/10/10



I've de-aged again. I have the impression of messy black hair, and apparently I'm Harry Potter. Cool.

I'm also trapped in a cave.

"I can't let ya leave, 'Arry," explains Hagrid, turning to a conveniently placed stove to pull a kettle off the boil, "The Ministry won' allow it."

"I see." I'm standing with my hands at my sides, eerily calm. The lack of expression seems to unnerve him.

I'm unconcerned. Hagrid has already given away the secret, and he has his back turned.

I raise my right hand. "Imperio."

I walk out into blue skies.

time skip

In the time since I've left the cave, I've fought off a few extra-inept stormtroopers, easily taken care of. (I actually wasn't sure about one. Thought he might have been a shadow-trooper, but he died easily enough.)

I had another encounter with Berserker!Hagrid. Apparently three layers of Imperius spells don't do anything positive to your sanity.

Beat him.

Now I'm wandering around Ixburg, heading toward the east end of town for some reason.

I'm trying to fly. Annoyed that it's not working. I can manage some of the jumps, but I can't stay in the air.

Standing in the center of an open road, I concentrate on growing red, hawk-like wings. They extend from my arms, so I don't have to concentrate on a new set of limbs. I flap the wings, and take off.

Passing the warehouses on the edge of town, I notice Imperials swarming the place. Apparently it's their base.

I stand across from Darth Vader.

"I am your father."

I'm unimpressed.

We fight, but he fades into the background.

I remember Capture the Flag, from Jedi Academy. That was fun.

A stormtrooper holds the blue flag, and is standing on top of the empty red base. He's waiting for someone to return the flag so he can score.

I force push him off the building, and he goes crashing into the corrugated siding of another warehouse. Dead already. Hn. Blue flag returned.

The blue team scores, and I grab the red flag. Darth Vader's still lurking around here somewhere. Something's glitching on him, maybe? He can't jump onto the roof.

I fly off toward the hospital on the other side of town, the blue base, after sprouting another set of wings. I wonder how I'm carrying the flag without hands. I try not to think about it. Maybe I'm holding it with my teeth.

In another dream, I'm standing in a hallway, looking at the men's and women's bathrooms, which are side by side. I have no fucking clue which one to use.

Scare Factor: 2/10
Rating: 4/10