Things to Run Away From Really Fast

★★★★☆

...or "Taking Over a Country in Five Easy Steps".

09/27/10



"Your son, your majesty, is a psychotic despot who's been running your country into the ground."

"And you have a solution?"

"Your youngest child went missing several years ago. You should inform your court that I have returned."

Johanna swings the sword furiously at her attacker. Her blonde hair, braided into a plait, sweeps through the air as she ducks his return attack. She's on the defensive, frantically blocking his sword, barely avoiding being cut. The man's face is expressionless as he forces her into a corner.

A slow clapping starts up from across the room. The attacker stills, and Johanna steps away, keeping her sword ready.

"Bravo," says the man on the other side of the room. "You've done extraordinarily well, getting this far."

"I'll kill you," she hisses back, not taking her eyes from the bodyguard, "For destroying my family."

"With that sword?" asks the prince, "I think not."

"I've fought my way through your legions," she pronounces, "Decimated them."

"Yes," says the prince, "But then, you had someone to protect, which is the purpose of your enchanted sword. Tell me, where is your brother?"

"He's dead," says Johanna, "Murdered by your men!" On the last word, a knife materializes in her other hand. She rushes the bodyguard, swipes down, slicing at his face.

Blood splatters against the wall, and Johanna clutches at her throat in surprise. She falls to the ground, aware that she's bleeding out. From the corner of her eye, she can see another man emerge from the shadows. Stupid, she thinks, should have realized he would have backup...

She's standing on a stone bridge, which spans the entirety of a mountainous valley. At the end of the bridge is a city. Blue spires reach up into the sky, and Johanna is dimly aware that she's looking at the Capitol City. This was her home, before everything. It's still peaceful. The sky is blue, and sunlight shines down, lighting up the valley and the mist with an ethereal glow. The valley is lush, full of greens and grains and enough food keep most of the kingdom from growing hungry. It's almost unbelievable, that such an awe-inspiring sight could hide such a great evil.

"I brought you back." I tell her.

Johanna turns to look at me. "Why?" Her face is blank, but I can hear the anguish in her voice.

"I don't think you understand," I say slowly, "I brought you back. Nothing you've endured has happened yet. Your family is still alive."

She's quiet for a moment, looking out over the blue lustre of the city in the distance. "What's the catch?"

I have to smile at that. "You can prevent all of this from happening," I say, "If you do exactly as I say."

plots to pacify the population with the latest crop of sweet potato, wading through water fields under the bridge

I'm standing in a stone building (opulence, splendor) at the centre of the city. I know the precise moment that it happens, because it feels like a string is being cut. And just like that, destiny has been rewritten. The prince is dead, long live the prince.

A cell phone chimes in my pocket. I answer on the third ring.

"Hello, 'Father'," I say, irony in my tone. "So, when is my coronation?"

Scare Factor: 3/10

Wait, wait. Your crown prince is an evil sociopath, so you want my dream self to rule instead? Good luck with that.

1. Establish yourself as an heir to the throne.
2. Find someone who wants the prince dead.
3. Bring them back in time.
4. Assassinate the prince.
5. How old was the king, again?

Kill them! Kill them all! BWAHAHAHA! Ooh, pretty flowers.

My partner and I are divvying up guns and ammunition from a trunk he brought with him. The pistols are old-style revolvers that take forever to load, so I grab two, stuffing one each down the front and back of my jeans. Which is probably a bad idea, but hey, we're in a hurry.

Our team is comprised of settlers - space explorers even. I think we've decided that we want the planet, and we're going to kill all the people in the compound ten feet away. I don't know; I haven't been paying much attention. I just want to fight.

Vicki hangs a flare gun over one of my shoulders, and I'm smoking a cigarette, for some reason. There's a fuse on the end of the flare, and I accidentally light it with my cigarette, which is now a lit match. Hurriedly, I aim over the wall of the compound and fire, starting off the battle.



A man inside the compound aims some kind of explosive firework at the rest of the team, but I'm not concerned, since I'm not part of the big group standing together like bowling pins. Morons. Things explode, and we rush the compound.

I'm behind the rest of my team, so I don't get to shoot many people. I'm a little nervous about it actually. By the time we've cleared most of the place out, most of my team members are down.

We're only shooting the people with guns, which happens to be the men, mostly. Men and women and children are all standing together, and if you would take cover, I wouldn't be shooting you! I'm holding dual pistols, sending twin shots into the chest of a man that just. won't. die. Never mind, he's down.

I get a message over the radio, saying that some kind of failsafe has been activated. Plant life is withering around the ship, and it's going to kill us, too. The ship is about to evacuate the planet, and I have to run if I don't want to be left behind.

I take off down a grassy path, trying to run as fast as I can. Quickly, I realize that I can pull in more speed, and my surroundings simultaneously blur and come into sharper focus. I was just talking about running really fast in dreams, with Puffin, and it really is the best feeling - wait a minute.

I'm lucid. I stop and look around, urgency of the Run Away task starting to dissipate. I look around at my surroundings, which are very green and very floral. It's beautiful, really.

I wander back to the landing site just because I can. The plants are dead all around the ship, and nothing's left but mud. Most of the crew are off to the side, away from the ship and avoiding whatever deadly contagion plagues the soil.

I walk right through, calling up plant life as I go. I want to talk to one of the DCs, but I'm being pulled back into the dream plot.

Suddenly, we're all peaceful and getting along with the inhabitants of the planet. I'm talking to Johanna, who's playing one of these people. I'm given a tour of the compound, and I make ivy spring up along the walls, which starts flowering immediately. It should start growing fruit within a few days (you know, since we destroyed their supplies and all).



***

Wandering around an RV, which seems to fit an entire house in it. Linkara's giving me a tour, and I'm still making flowering ivy grow along the walls. I wonder what it's feeding on.

***

My brother is driving the same car we crashed into the harbour last night. We're driving along a road that's made entirely of ice, and he's going way too fast. We're driving into an underground castle-like structure where his music lessons take place. There's a steep downward slope, and PEDESTRIANS! LOOK OUT! SLOW DOWN! And a sharp turn right after a quick ramp THAT SENDS US FLYING into the air and we're going to crash and I telekinetically shove the car back onto the road.

We come to a stop.

"Okay," says Ben, catching his breath. "Maybe I'll go a little slower next time."

Border Skirmishes. Scare Factor: 3.

New rule: DCs aren't allowed to drive. Ever.

Two girls hide in a closet behind the bathtub. The dream has been third person for a while now, focusing on the girls, who are part of a super-secret experiment involving clones or superpowers or whatever.

The Matron is walking into the room, and the pre-teen girls - Rae and Johanna - are hiding from her. Rae is about to leave the room and face her, hoping that she can still save Johanna from a horrible fate. Rae takes a deep breath and steps out into full view of the office -

Only to be blocked from sight by an adult stepping in front of the door. It's me. The Matron is coming in behind me, and I'm distracting her from Rae.

"It's always an... experience, hosting a representative of Cypher Industries." The Matron says, ushering me toward one of the chairs facing her desk.

"I've no doubt," I say, sending a wink at the girls hovering at the bathroom door. No doubt the Matron knows they're there, but she's ignoring them so far.

"If I may ask," she says, sitting down, "What brings you here? Our corporations have not been on the best of terms, as of late. Your safety is not assured."

"I'm supposed to give you this." I throw a sheaf of papers onto the desk in front of her.

She doesn't touch it. "And this is?"

"Oh," I say, rolling my eyes, "Roundabout legaleze that doesn't mean much. It's basically demanding access to what we consider to be our property."

"Really?" says the Matron icily, "And what property would this be?"

"You are in possession of two very special little girls. We want them; I'm taking them."

"Why shouldn't I kill you right now?" Her hands are folded on the table, her head tilted to the side.

"Oh, that's easy," I say, leaning back in my chair. "The term is 'Tactical Nuclear Missile Strike'."

"Excuse me?"

"My team is currently flying directly overhead," I say, leaning forward, "If I flatline, then they will immediately make the entire island -" I wave my hands, "Explode."

There is a beat of silence.

"Get out."

"I'll be taking the brats, then." I jump from my seat, smiling widely, and make for the door. "Pleasure doing business with you!"

Rae and Johanna are right behind me. The three of us run down the glass staircase, laughing, as the world unravels around us.

Corporate Sabotage. Scare Factor: 2.

...I am a psychopath.

I'm having multiple writing-things-down-in-my-journal dreams (in one night), which is really annoying when I actually wake up and find it blank. Occasionally I can remember bits and pieces of what I wrote, but still: irritating. Apparently I'm going to have to RC more while I'm journalling.

In one of my fragments, Neil Gaiman was trying to take over the world. Apparently he's on Time Magazine's Most Influential People list, so this wouldn't be too surprising. Oh, and he's capable of adding to historical mythology.

Be afraid.

The Heist:

I'm robbing an art gallery. This is the easy part, casing the place, looking for details that might assist us in our escape. It's near closing time, and we need to know exactly how the staff shuts the place down - so we're posing as tourists, waiting to be shuffled out of the building.

The place is huge, large enough to have their own conservator on staff, a woman that I'm talking to right now. I'm pretending to be a collector, probably talking about donating a piece to the public collection. We're discussing the minutiae of restoring a particular piece, a thirteenth-century painting that I actually have no interest in (ie: we're not stealing it).

"Where are the security cameras?" I ask her. After all, I want my donation to be safe. I've spotted one camera in the entrance lobby, but none in the main areas or at the employee exits.

"Oh," says the woman, "We don't have any."

I look at her blankly for a second. "Well," I say, "That's stupid."

I look over the woman's shoulder at Johanna, the blonde ghost girl from #59, Ghost Ship. My accomplice is decidedly un-ghostly today. She's with a tour group, examining the high-tech vault that our prize is locked in. The metallic display swivels around, forms a coffin-like shape, and seals itself away, fitting like a puzzle into the tile floor. The rest of the group applauds enthusiastically, but Jo limits herself to a small smile, eyes glittering with anticipation of the challenge.


Jayne Wisener Johanna

I signal Johanna and say goodbye to the conservator. We shake hands and she tells me to contact her if I have any questions. I assure her that I will, and I slip away into the back hallways of the art gallery, off limits to the public.

Jo meets me at our planned escape route, one of the employee exits that requires a code to leave without setting off the alarm. I notice the visible red laser line over the floor, which could be stepped over easily, but the door is alarmed as well. I hear a voice over the intercom, saying that the museum will be closing in a few minutes.

There's a keypad beside me. I enter the code, which I gleaned from the mind of the conservator when I shook her hand. This is why Jo and I work together well: I get the information and she steals the priceless artifact. We split the danger and the cut. And I do my job well - the outer door swings open, and the alarm switches off.

"All guests have two minutes to exit the building," says the intercom. Jo and I grin at each other and step out into the alley. We pile into a small green car with a few other girls. This was our test run. We'll come back tomorrow night and pull the real heist.

We've stopped at a hostel/diner/convenience store. While waiting in line, I'm looking through the racks for a pair of sunglasses that don't make me look like a girl. Everything's sold out though, and apparently I already bought the last pair of sunglasses, which are either broken or missing.

DCs have been telling me, for the last few minutes, that I'm late for the Evil Meeting of Evil. This is, apparently, not a good thing, as the meeting is headed by one of the organization's scariest members. I remember being appropriately terrified earlier in the dream, but now, semi-aware, I can't see why I should be afraid of a DC. When I step outside, I see minions of the League on rows of fold out chairs, under a bright blue sky. Odd.

The terrifying speaker is a black woman with straight, shoulder length black hair, who bears a remarkable similarity to Zoe from Firefly. This, of course, means she's a badass character who I should probably Run Away From Really Fast, but instead I pretty much ignore her as she yells at me and tells me to sit down.

Not!Zoe continues her pep-talk, and I wander back into the building, finding myself in a hostel-style dorm room filled with bunk beds.

The first person I notice is a Legion-style, long-limbed teenager. I'm fascinated by how tall he is, and by the way he's swinging from what are effectively monkey-bars suspended by the bunk-beds. Apparently, the boy can't support his own weight. He stumbles into the diner/convenience store area, and his mom snaps at me not to stare.


What are you looking at?

I turn around, and suddenly there's a high speed bundle of white lace crashing into my arms. I catch the little girl as she throws her arms around me, demanding a hug from a complete stranger. I stand there awkwardly, regaining my balance.

The mom rolls her eyes when I look at her, and tells me that the girl used to suffer extreme pain when anyone touched her. Now she's cured. Okay...

I leave the strange family behind and go back outside to deal with my fellow villains. Who want me to become Doctor Insano. I tell them that I really would (I have my lab coat on and everything), but I can't find my swirly goggles - I only have a set of pink ski goggles, and those just aren't the same.


So yeah.

Johanna and I are back in the art gallery, along with another girl, Macy, who's actually outside. Macy was with us in the getaway car, and she's possessing her pet cat (her spirit animal) so we can have another set of eyes on the inside. The cat is darting through the gallery's hidden places, under tables and behind exhibits, practically invisible unless you know what you're looking for. Jo and I are about to split up, while I keep the entrances clear, when we're interrupted by the most ominous sound I have ever heard.

"KITTY!" shrieks a delighted, childlike voice. This is followed by a chilling snarl from Macy's cat.

I turn around to see that the cat is a charred pile of fur and skin on the floor, and the little girl from before looks absolutely stricken. I look upward and sigh, knowing that we won't have a chance at the painting at this point.

I'm waving at the little body, willing it up from the floor, and slowly toward the side door. At the same time, Jo and I are having a heated discussion over who gets to take care of the girl without making a scene. More so than the fireball and the crying child already have, anyway.

"Me?" I ask incredulously, "I'm not a Meta!" (I don't have superpowers.)

Jo sends a significant glance at the cat magically floating out the door, and looks back at me with a raised eyebrow.

Well, I can't argue with that.

I go over to the little girl and ask if she remembers me. She nods her head and I hold out my hand, and we all go outside.

Jo is over with Macy, who's a sobbing wreck on the ground, leaning against one of the tires of the car. She's looking at her cat, lying on the dirt a few feet away from her. Apparently, her experience was slightly traumatizing.

I lead the girl over to the cat, and kneel down beside it. I give a heartwarming speech involving the importance of responsibility and compassion, and tell her how important it is that we keep our powers under control. Then, waving a hand over the cat, I tug at it's life energy, and the cat gets up and wanders over to Macy.

"There," I say, getting up and dusting myself off. "No harm done."

An alarm starts to blare from within the gallery.

"Son of a bitch!"

All of us pile into the backseat of the car, which is suddenly filled with half a dozen girls, and we speed away.

The Heist. Scare Factor: 3.

I'm alone on a ship - all of the crew have succumbed to... something. Another ship is attacking mine, full of spirits. I swing over onto the enemy ship and rescue a girl, who turns out to be another ghost. She's my ally in the dream.

I've had visions throughout the dream of the final battle against my enemy. I've lost every time. Now, the time is really here. My enemy taunts me, tells me that there's no way I can win, but I've seen how he won before and I know I can beat him. I meet his attack with a wave of blue energy that knocks him away and destabilizes the dream.

shift

Human survivors terrorize each other post-apocalypse, forcing their views on the weaker individuals.

A group of survivors in some post-apocalyptic world is trying to establish a prohibition on alcohol. The main character (male, short blond hair) is arguing during a town meeting. This is followed by someone accusing, "It's almost like you don't want it gone!" Well, duh.

The main character is female, now. Long, black hair, looks like a character from one of my stories. She's with the blonde (no longer ghost) girl from the previous dream. They're standing in a run-down shack. Then I show up. My dream avatar is some kind of male mythological figure, with long white hair. A conversation takes place. She's accusing me of something.

I laugh and say, "You're more of a Reaper than I am!"

(Unconsciously stepping back and choosing the weapons: a short, hand held scythe for the MC, a sword for the ex-ghost, and I'm somehow fighting with chains.)

I quickly knock the blonde out of the fight, sending her flying toward the wall. I block their blades with heavy metal chains on the defensive, strike barehanded on the offensive. With ghost-girl out of the fight, I renew my attack on the MC, enjoying what - to me - is a friendly sparring session.

Ghost Ship. Scare Factor: 3. [/QUOTE]

Ariel, Samael, Rick.

The group of survivors have made it to an open courtyard surrounded by stainless steel fencing. The entrances are similar to cattle corrals, and apparently zombies aren't smart enough to get in. The horde is separated from us, but a few renegade zombies are still trying to eat us.

"Oh my god, just shoot them already!" shrieks a girl with dark hair. There are probably half a dozen of us, but only two guns. A shotgun blast goes off, taking out the zombie. The man holding the gun starts reloading. The blonde woman with the other gun lays down cover fire.

One of our members is somehow a conscious zombie, fighting off other ones and getting bitten in the process. The bites don't bother him much.

A zombie no one else seems to have noticed is sneaking up on one of the youngest, unarmed, members of our group. I curse, and rush the zombie, blocking the kid from its view. The thing immediately starts in on me, and, stupidly, I let it close enough to get in a bite.

"Fuck!" I shout, calling the attention of the rest of the survivors. I grab the zombie's head and twist the neck, severing the spinal column. The zombie drops limply to the ground.

I put a hand to the side of my neck, wincing when it comes away sticky with blood. I can already feel the wound starting to close. I look up, noticing that the man with the gun is eying me speculatively, his shotgun fully loaded and pointing straight at my head.

"Rick," I say, warning in my voice. "Don't even think -"

He pulls the trigger. My head explodes in a spectacular fountain of red chunks.

I come to some time later. I sit up in the grassy field, and I'm covered in my own blood. I purge the various fluids and chunks of brain matter with a thought, and stand up, cursing Rick's entire family tree as I do.

Already, there are more zombies shuffling toward me.

They scurry away when I send a telepathic, high pitched whine toward them, scrambling what's left of their brains and causing blood to pour from their ears. The closest zombies collapse immediately, the rest stay away.

I head toward the stone building. A school, before the apocalypse hit, and by coincidence, the perfect place for a bunch of insects to make their last stand.

---

The blonde woman is on edge the moment she sees me. "You're dead." she accuses, bringing her own shotgun up to fire. "Sam, I'm sorry, but -"

"You know, Ariel." I say, casually swatting the gun away, "That didn't work last time."

Ariel lowers the weapon when she hears my voice. "How the hell?"

"None of your goddamn business." I say brightly. "Now, where are the others?"

She's suspicious. "You know Rick meant well, right?"

"By shooting me in the head. I know. And I considered slaughtering every one of you without mercy," I say, willfully ignoring Ariel's horrified expression, "But the world would be so boring without any humans to torment."

Ariel makes a choked sound.

"So let's call an end to your little scouting mission," I say, starting down the concrete tunnel, "And go find the others."

If I can't kill them all, I can at least look forward to the expression on Rick's face.

The Devil You Know. Scare Factor: 2.

ETA: It was just like this, actually.[/QUOTE]