Things to Run Away From Really Fast

★★★★☆

01/16/10

I coax my motorcycle to its maximum speed, streamlining my body as I approach the closing elevator doors. The elevator cab has already left for the top floor, and I strain to hold the metal doors open. In half a second, I'll crash into the back of the open elevator shaft and hurtle half a dozen stories into the secret basement of the compound.

Pause.

No reason for that. I don't have to follow the rules, after all. I stand in the open air, looking up at the elevator cab as it slowly escalates to the top floor. That's where I'll find her.

Go.

I fly through the doors, over the pit below. The front wheel of my bike hits the far wall, and I twist

Speeding up the elevator shaft at maximum, up the vertical wall. Vertigo. Disassociated from gravity and catching up to the elevator cab, about to impact. I jump away from the vehicle; it fades away. Suspended in the air for a moment, and I reach toward the closed doors leading to the floor second-to-the-top. I pull myself in, catch on the small ledge there, hang for a moment, looking at the bottom of the elevator cab. It's moving towards me now.

Jump. Over the elevator, clinging onto the doors leading to the top floor. With a wave of my hand, they're opening...

I wake up. Damn it guys, could you break up a little more quietly?

Action Movie Physics. Scare Factor: 3.

07/12/10

Do motorcycle chases ever end well?

I hop on my motorbike and speed toward the highway, mindful of being chased. It's been far too long since someone tried to kill me.

I pass my exit, turn sharply onto the next ramp. I'm going against the flow of traffic. I don't have time to do an RC, but since this is a dream, it's the perfect time to try out a trick from Saints Row... go against traffic, and it's harder for anyone to catch up to you.

At least, I think it's a dream. I'll risk it.

I'm pedaling my bike up a hill.

I take a sharp turn onto the exit, shift gears and find myself on the open highway. I speed up, watching the colours blur around me, faster, faster! Something's wrong, though. I'm on the right side of the road, going the right way! There goes my advantage.

I'm catching up to a row of semi-trucks. I focus on them, trying to force the images to turn around and come this way -

A truck hurtles toward me. The grill gets bigger, and closer, and I swerve into the far lane. The truck drives by me, honking. I skid over the pavement, tumbling head over heels. When I've stopped, I find myself staring up at the blue sky, trying to calm my breathing.

I get up and pick up my bike. I hop on. It's still running, but it's going really slowly up the next hill.

Someone taps me on the shoulder.

I spin around, catch the faintest glimpse of a man with curly hair before I'm back on my bike and pedaling fiercely down the exit ramp. This feeling is elation; I'm speeding down the steep ramp without a care for the wall that's suddenly appeared before me - what?

I brake and abandon the bicycle on the ramp. I'm inside of a mansion, which I know is the headquarters for my enemy. I peer around the corner, and snap back. There are two guards inside. One of them might have seen me.

"Hey," says a voice from beside me.

I jump and turn around. Shego is leaning on the wall next to me, filing her nails.

"You coming to girls' night?" she asks boredly, "We can get an action movie in if you're there."

"Sure," I say, risking a glance at the guards around the corner.

"I never saw you," she says, rolling her eyes.

I pick up my bike from the ramp. It's a stunt bicycle at this point. I peek around the corner again, looking at all of the interesting obstacles that are in there.

Minutes later, I'm ramping through the lobby of a movie theatre, being chased by out-of-breath security guards.

Zero CCs. Scare Factor: 3.