Krista's Dream Journal

Dream - Lucid

I dreamed a little more than this last night, but I really felt the need to record these, as they were quite vivid, the second one also being very intense.

I was teaching at a summer school/camp with my friend Rachel, who is also pregnant. Her baby had a rare birth defect where its heart was developing outside the body (this is a real thing btw for those who aren't aware). She and I were sitting together and she started crying. I closed my eyes and felt so sad for her. I put my hand on her leg. I believe I may have even shed a tear. I asked her about the operations they would have to do on the baby. The sadness I felt for her was very intense.

We were all assigned one child for the program. They would actually live with us (and apparently I lived at my parents' old house with them). Mine was a little blonde girl in the 5th grade.

The program's classes were divided into grade levels. Both Rachel and I's kids were in the 5th grade level. The classes were held outside in these station/kiosk type things. I saw my child playing there. I then had to pee so I went to the bathroom. The stall was like a port-o-john but only had a small, narrow place to sit and a narrow hole to go in. It was built for kids, and I "remembered" this from when I was at this same school as a child. I started to go but was peeing on the floor. I adjusted and peed on my underwear. They were soaked by the time I was done so I took them off and threw them in the garbage. I then heard people outside. A young female teacher saw the pee on the floor coming out from underneath the stall. She assumed the toilet had been backed up and overflowed and I let her think that, as I didn't want to tell her that I peed everywhere. She got a plunger-type thing and started to plunge it. Dirty, poopy water came out and splashed me in the face; I guess it was backed up.

I then was walking back to the play areas outside with the teacher; it looked to be evening outside. I was telling her that I had never planned on becoming a teacher, but I was excited to start my real teaching job in the fall.

~

I was in what was my mom's car in a parking lot at night with my brother. We were parked but I'm not sure why. Both of our parents were dead; they had died not long ago in the dream, maybe days or weeks prior. We now were using their car.

These two college-aged white guys came up to the car and started trying to harass us into letting them in. They wanted to rob us. We locked the doors and wouldn't let them in. They started to laugh and got an ax and baseball bat and took them to our tires. Whatever, we were still safe. I saw and heard glass breaking as they did this, but I wasn't sure what it was coming from. We watched these douche canoes fuck up our car. I kept thinking about our parents, and how empty it felt without them.

I then decided to call 911. My brother was just going to call the police, but I felt we needed urgent help. I misdialed it at first, dialing 912 or something instead, and then redialed and was given hold music. I didn't care, I'd wait if I had to.

My brother then had to get out of the car for some reason; I think the cops were there. The guys saw the opportunity and tried to get in the unlocked door, but I locked it and the back door (which was also unlocked for some reason) quickly, before they could get in. They were mad, and I gave them two birdies, one with each hand. This infuriated them, and one pulled a gun on me and started to shoot. He hit me in the neck multiple times. I saw the hole in the barrel light up with each shot, and felt the shock of being hit. I was in shock, surprised that he had actually opened fire. He seemed surprised as well that he had actually shot me. I was holding my neck and saw a cop in the back window. I held my hand out to him and he reached back to me.

I then was out of the car, I think with my brother, walking to an ambulance. I was getting dizzy and woozy from loss of blood. We walked by the guys who tormented us; they were sitting on a curb smoking (at least one was smoking) while police searched their car. I hoped they were going to get arrested. I was then laid on a gurney on the back to the ambulance, which was actually on an open trailer being pulled behind it. I heard them say they could see my bone and my heart, which is how bad the wound was. I was then being driven with my neck wrapped up tight in a scarf. No one was back there with me.

Dream - Lucid

I was at work. Everything seemed quite dark. It was very early in the morning. I was working with this guy that came from another department to learn the bakery IWL. I was filling all these drawers that filled up this tall cabinet-looking thing with things we would need for the day. I was trying to go fast because I had a certain amount of time to be finished with it.

I then had to take a break. I went and laid down in a bed for my break. I think I was talking to the guy who was still working as I was falling asleep.

I looked at the clock to check the time, and break was about over. I got out of the bed and continued what I was doing. I then had to go do something else, so the other guy had to take over.
"You know what to do, right?" I asked.
He nodded a yes in response. I hoped he wasn't insulted by my question. I then "remembered" that he did that all the time, so of course he knew how.

I woke up and it was weird; I didn't feel like I had fallen asleep at all. It was only an hour or so later than when I went to bed. I was burning up, so I turned the heat down and went back to sleep.

~

I was in this area, I believe it was a basement, that had these small cages filled with, what I called, "chinchillas", though they looked more like small white mice. There was also one with white cats in it. The chinchillas and the cats were all different sizes; some were big, others were quite small.

I saw that a medium-sized chinchilla had escaped. I went to scoop her up to put her back in the cage. She bit my palm pretty hard, and it hurt! I carried her over the the cages regardless. I then noticed how small the cages really were; they were small and narrow, and the chinchillas were shoved in there so crowded up. There were two cage doors that would slide open and closed, one on each side of the cage. The chinchillas in the cage were trying to escape by sliding the doors open. I put the one back that I had gotten back inside the cage. The others kept trying to escape. I didn't blame them, but I didn't want them to die out there either. I thought about using different primary colored wooden building blocks (ones I had when I was young IWL) to build on some more room. I laid down a few blocks for a foundation when I noticed that another had escaped, this time a much smaller one. I couldn't find where she went, but then, I saw that a medium-sized white cat had also escaped. She was stretching, as cats do. I hoped that the cat didn't eat the chinchilla.

~

I was getting up for work. I was in my room in the house I grew up in. Ugh so early...

I was then at work. I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to be helping with. Shannon was there, this other woman, a tall, kind of fat Indian woman, was also there; she was also supposed to be a manager. Christian was there as well, an assistant manager from another store. There were also a couple of regular employees there as well. I knew there was this new thing where I was supposed to move these racks over to this certain area for the managers to transport to another store via driving this weird, short truck. I moved the things that needed to be moved.

I then realized I really needed to pee. There was a bathroom "stall" that looked like the tall racks, only hollow on the inside with a toilet. You could see right into the stall. Ugh...I really needed to go. I made sure no one was paying attention, and I went into the stall. It was very small and cramped, and I could see outside (it was like looking through open blinds). I then saw Christian was there. I quickly pulled up my pants and exited the stall so he wouldn't see. I talked to him for a bit. He was about to drive one of those weird trucks. I had a nervous feeling while talking to him (he is actually pretty attractive IWL [yes I know I'm married; I have no intentions of getting with him], and I can tell he finds me attractive too). He then got in his short little truck and started to drive away. I waved, and another man in another similar looking truck that looked like it had a green interstate sign for the side of the truck waved back. I waved again as Christian's truck went by.

Then, Shannon and the Indian woman pulled up slowly in their truck, very close to me, then drove away. The Indian woman looked at me as they went.

I then wanted to try to pee again. There was this box next to the rack/bathroom stall that looked a little bigger than the rack/stall. I had a feeling you were supposed to push it in there when you wanted to use the bathroom, because then, no one could see you. Someone had already done that, I think it was Nicky. They were in the now covered stall. I still had to pee.

Dream - Lucid

I just recalled a bit of something...another dream about not attending a class that I was enrolled in. I think it was math again. I only remember this detail, all others are very vague pictures. Some kind of ceremony, I think? Maybe graduation? Not entirely sure.

~

I'm not sure where I was, but it was daytime. Dallas was texting me. He was in Oregon. He was saying he may fall down this huge hill. I guess he was hiking and close to a steep hill/ledge. I was worried for him; I hoped he didn't fall. For awhile, I was then not getting any responses from him, and when I'd text him, it would have trouble going through. He must be in a bad reception area. I then tried to call, and it wouldn't go through. I was really starting to get concerned.

I was then in the car, sitting on the passenger's side. Dallas was in the driver's seat, but there was no wheel on his side. I guess I was driving. Anyway, Dallas was sitting there completely naked. He had fallen down the steep hill/ledge. His body was turned in a way where I couldn't see any of his junk. I looked at him, and he looked relatively normal, aside from his front teeth looking like they got banged up, his lip was half normal colored and half a little dark. I was talking to him about us taking him to the hospital, letting his mom know, etc. I also commented on how quickly he got from Oregon to here (it's literally across the country!); I said something about it taking him an hour.

He then told me he didn't think I could handle seeing his injuries. I was talking to him about something when he said this. He turned his body all the way around and...his penis and testicles were completely gone. I tried to keep talking and ignore it, but I couldn't. I was then thinking about some IWL conversations we had about penectomies and how Dallas would fall into a huge depression if that happened. He was telling me it got cut off in the fall, but he couldn't go back and get it. He seemed to be in shock about the whole thing right now, like it wasn't affecting him that badly. I was wondering what they could do for him at the hospital.

I then saw him again at some point, a side view, and it looked like his penis was there after all. It was a very brief view though. I think we were in the hospital.

~

I was going down through the floor, down, down, down into darkness. I realized this wasn't waking life, but it didn't feel like a lucid dream, it honestly felt more like an OBE (for convenience purposes, I'm going to use the color code for my LDs, even though I genuinely do not believe it was a regular LD). I decided that I wanted to see what Hell looked like (I do not believe that heaven and hell are real places, but states of mind and being). In a previous experience some years ago, I was going down into the ground in a similar fashion in an LD, but I was too afraid to see hell, so I went back up. This time, I said to myself that I could handle it; I was ready to see it. I was concerned about waking myself up, but I held it together very well. I then looked down at my body and saw I was naked in the darkness as I descended. Interesting.

I then was in hell. I was in a room where there were these long tables all around the perimeter of the room. There were children who were supposed to be getting their faces painted by adults, but the adults were cutting their faces and painting them with blood. The children were scared and upset. There was a doorway leading into another room. I went into that one. I don't remember what was specifically going on in there, but there were more scared and upset children.

I then was in blackness again, and this feeling of fear and despair came over me. I knew they were not my own feelings, but the feelings pervading this hell. I saw vague shapes in the blackness.

~

I woke up from that last dream and fell asleep again, fully aware that I was going to enter a dream. I was out of my body again. I was in the house I grew up in. I don't remember many details about being in the house, but I then went outside and floated into the air. It was a bright and sunny day. I decided since I had seen hell, it was time to see heaven. I went up, up, up into the air. I then was in this tube that was very vivid. It was covered in light blue squares that had some Disney character's face on them. I went further into the tube and the color changed to yellow with more characters. It kept changing like this until I emerged on the other side.

I was in what looked like the exact same face painting room from hell, except for this time, the kids were really getting their faces painted. They were not scared or sad, but it was a much more calm atmosphere.

Unfortunately, I don't remember any more from this experience. I don't think much happened after that.

I then was back on Earth, outside in the daytime. I was floating, working on the effortless method of just letting it happen, but then I started to go down towards the Earth. I started to make myself float up again, and started to "swim" through the air. I knew that this was not what I had been working on, and it felt like I had more resistance, but it was working. I was swimming upwards and to the left towards the house.

There was a point where I looked in a mirror slightly above me and at an angle, and wanted to make angel wings appear on my back (something I tried to do in a previous LD not long ago), and lo and behold, there they were on my back. They were white and feathered. I smiled; they were beautiful.

~

I was again entering a dream. I felt like I was leaving my body, but appeared in a different room. I saw my sleeping body laying on the bed. It was naked, but in the same position that I fell asleep in. I seemed to be in what looked like a hotel room. Someone else was in there too, though I'm not sure who. They could see me though, which was kind of surprising. I went into the bathroom and floated. Someone else came in, my CS assistant manager, C. She could see me floating in the air! I was surprised that she could see me! I started to do these flips between the walls by the toilet, and she was laughing. I loved it!

~

Caved and took a whole Ambien again last night. -_-; I'm going to take a half tonight, otherwise I'll never get off this stuff. Though the experiences I had were very cool. I never felt like I was lucid dreaming; I felt out of body. It really did feel different. It was quite fascinating!

Dream - Lucid

I was in the guest bathroom. The light was on. The counter was covered in colognes and stuff, but I also noticed that Dallas had put his brush in there for me to use. He must not have seen the new brush I bought for myself. I also guess he didn't want me to wake him up using our bathroom.

~

I was at Target, though I'm not sure if I was working there or not. I may have just been shopping. It looked as if they were completely remodeling the front of the store; I saw a lot of white walls and boxes. It didn't look like the Target I was used to at all; it really caught me off guard.

Cherie' was there at some point. Someone called her name, and she had been kinda close to me. She stopped and looked in the direction of the voice who called her. I only saw the back of her head, not her face. Her hair looked darker and wavier, but I knew it was her.

~

I was getting ready to go to school at the high school I attended. I was running behind schedule, however, and I was going to be late. I was at the house I grew up in looking in the pantry for something to eat for breakfast really quick. I found some Fig Newton cookies, two packages of them in fact, but they were being saved by someone else in the house, one of my friends who was also there though I can't recall who they were right now. Other than that, there wasn't anything I could eat for breakfast really quick.

I kept getting upset at my mom and whoever else was there, saying that I needed to find a place to write this paper that was due in my second class of the day, so I needed to get to school ASAP. I was telling them they didn't understand, and was starting to be a smartass. My mom was getting mad at me for getting so upset and being smart with her. I kept looking at the clock and seeing how late it was; I would never get to school on time.

When I finally got to school, the first class had already started. I saw people walking in the hallway from their lockers heading to their first class. It was weird though; not everyone was attending school that day, only the people who had a later start day for classes. The rest of the people had the day off, the ones who had started school at an earlier date that year.

I then had a thought about skipping class, that once people missed one class they could say "Fuck it" and just not go and not care. I didn't want to do that.

I kept stressing myself about the paper. I knew I needed to get to a computer quickly to write it up before the next class began.

Dream - Lucid

I was in a kitchen that was very cluttered with dishes and such on the counters, which were black. Dallas was with me. I picked up this small silver fairy figurine that was encased in a glass bubble. There were water droplets on the glass, as if it had just been washed. I knew someone else had washed it. I asked Dallas something and turned around and saw him. For some reason, I was afraid he'd get upset with what I asked him. He didn't, however.

The washed figurine had something to do with this Smash Brothers-like adventure/fighting game. The game also had something to do with real life. I saw what was like a cut scene, where all these previously unplayable and evil characters were joining with their friends to join the fight. I remember seeing one that was a blind ant. He had a cane and his eyes were grey. He was with his other ant friends saying he was going to join the fight in more or less words. The ants were "bad", but they were joining forces with the good because there was a greater enemy. I figure it was close to the end of the game.

Then, I was in the bathroom at our apartment. Mk was there too, but she was much taller and had lots more hair, which was all pulled up in a messy ponytail/bun. She was also wearing this multi-colored robe/towel thing. She was reaching into the shower to turn it on when I stopped her, saying
"I need to take a shower. I have to work at 10."
I thought about the current time. It was 8:34am. I was afraid she'd be annoyed or upset, but she turned around, smiled, and stepped away from the shower.

~

I know that I dreamed before this, and I swore I'd remember it, but no dice. Maybe I'll remember later.

Dream - Lucid

I was doing laundry at the house I grew up in, but the washing machine was in the middle of a room. I just needed to wash a pair of blue jeans and two other things. The two other things were white. I wanted to use bleach for some reason. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. A middle-aged lady then came up to me and showed me what to do. The wash cycle started. I hoped that my pants wouldn't get bleached out. I pictured them being completely bleached out.

Then I was somewhere else, like an airport or a shopping mall, not sure which. I was sitting down somewhere at a high-top table, and this kid, a boy of about 9 or 10, came up to me and tried to plug something into my iPod. I took it away before he could. Wow, what a rude kid! Soon after, I discovered he was doing this to everyone. He was also telling some people he needed to charge his phone or iPod or something and that's why he needed to do it. In reality, he was trying to steal music and files off of people's devices. His mom was the middle-aged woman, and she had told him to do it. It was some kind of scheme.

Then, I was at home with Dallas, though the apartment looked way different. I saw that there were some kittens there. What?? How did those get there? They were tiny and adorable, as kittens tend to be. I bent down to pet them, asking Dallas where they came from. I don't remember his response. They all looked different. I named off all the different types there were. The only one I remember is the last one, though, which was a Russian Blue-looking cat.

The kittens also had cages. I saw them stacked in the bathroom. I think there were some in some of the cages as well. I then saw my cat, Belle, who hates everyone and everything (except me ). The mother cat, a fluffy, grayish cat, came up to Belle. I thought for sure they would fight, but Belle seemed to like her.

I then saw Dallas trying to give the kittens to the lady from before. He had some kittens in his hand that he was trying to pass over to her. Apparently, the kittens were hers and they had gotten away from her. I came up to them and held back Dallas's hand from giving her the kittens.
"No, you can't have them," I said, "I know what you were doing, you were trying to steal."
She seemed taken aback, but I did not let her have those kittens. Who knows what she was trying to scheme with them, poor little babies.

I then had all the kittens in the bathroom together. They were laying down in two lines. I counted them in twos. I came up with 12, but realized I missed two and got 14. 14 kittens! I was very surprised, since they were all from the same litter. That is a lot of kittens to be born to one cat at one time! I also had no idea how we were going to take care of these kittens. We were going to give them away anyway, but until then, I had no clue. I remember, at some point, making sure they had food and water. I saw the kibbles in a food dish, and the water in a white water bowl like the one I use IWL for my cat. I was using the food I give to Belle, my grown cat, because it's what we had. I said something to Dallas about how we needed to get kitten food.

Then, something about work, but it was at Kohl's. Then something about this video game-type thing where you were in some virtual reality world where your face was projected onto this weird robotic-looking, floating body. It was something that I had to do. I was there with many others, and we were at a long conference table for some meeting. My brother was there too, and so was the lady. I hoped the lady didn't see me. I floated to the other side of the table.

Then, I was talking to my friend Caitlin. She was telling me how her review went with our high school band director. She had gotten a 19 cent raise. We were in school still apparently, but were getting paid to be. It's hard to explain; it was weird. I pictured her in the office with him as he read off her review that determined how much of a raise she got. There was one thing that she said she got a lower score on. It was something about attending LSU, which she had no interest in doing so had made no effort to. She still got a "+5" out of a possible 15, so it didn't affect her too bad. I saw the +5 written in a blank spot to the left of the LSU question. I also saw her raise at the bottom of the page; she was now making $9 and some change. I was seeing it from the band director's POV.

~

I was walking home. I was walking downtown when it started to rain. It was slow at first. I could feel the drops very vividly. It then started to get steadier and a bit heavier. I was crossing the street.

Then, all the sudden I was home, though it didn't resemble our apartment at all. Dallas was laying on the couch. I noticed that we didn't have as many kittens. I said
"Dallas, did you give those kittens back to Blake and Sarah (my brother and his fiance')?" He didn't answer, so I knew he did. I was also referring to a different set of kittens; we still had the ones from the lady. I continued.
"Why???" I asked. Again, no answer. He was getting up from the couch.

~

I was at a gay dance club. I went in and bought a ticket at a ticket booth to go to the dance floor. It was still quite early, so no one was dancing yet. I went through the doorway beside the ticket booth anyway. This is what I always did when I went; I always got there early and was always the first to be on the dance floor. The lights were still on on the big dance floor. There was a stage in the front as well where the DJ was. I don't remember if there was music or not.

I then was going to leave for the night, just as it was starting to get busy. I walked out to where the booth was. I was now standing beside the booth, and felt the need to fart. I meant to keep it quiet, but it was super loud and gross. No one laughed, but a lady in the ticket booth asked if I was alright.
"I hope so," I replied.
I then went into the bathroom and into a stall. I don't think there was a door on the stall.

I then was at home in the bonus room, but it was at the house I grew up in. It was quite late at night, probably about 4am. Dallas was there and was still awake. He was on the computer. I saw a kitten run by that looked just like my cat, Belle. I pet her as she ran by. I thought about how she had Belle's personality. I then saw another cat that was slightly bigger, but also looked just like Belle. At first I thought it was her, but I saw her next to the cat that had just run by me and saw that they were relatively the same size, but, like I said, the other one was just a tad bigger. I pet that one too. That one also reminded me of Belle.

My phone then rang. I saw on the caller ID that it was Brittany, a butch lesbian that I hung out with at the club a lot (I don't know this person IWL). I was hesitant to answer, but picked up and started to talk to her. We talked for a bit, and then I had her talk to Dallas while I got ready for bed. I did some other things as well. I had hoped that maybe she would have hung up by now, but she hadn't, and Dallas gave the phone back to me. We talked a little bit more. I tried to steer the conversation to an end, but she kept talking. I really needed to get some sleep...

I then was in my room at the house I grew up in. I was standing by a chest of drawers with a TV on top of it. My bed was across from it, against the wall that it was against when I was in elementary/middle school. It was morning now, about 7am, and I still hadn't gone to bed. Laying in my bed who also hadn't slept yet was Brittany. I felt a little uncomfortable about sleeping next to her, especially since I was married, but I didn't think she'd try anything. I was talking to her about how tired I was going to be at work. She then said
"Crap."
"What?" I said.
"I left my thumb drive." She had left it at the club.
I don't remember my response. I doubted that it was still there unless someone had turned it in, but I think she doubted that as well.

I still hadn't gotten into bed. I was stalling. I thought about me sleeping next to her. I'm sure it would be fine, but I was still uncomfortable.

Dream - Lucid

I was looking into my room at the house I grew up in. It was full of spider webs. There were also 4 huge spiders in the webs, one closer to the doorway and three off to the left. There was no way I was going in there. There was then a guy standing next to me. He said what he would do if he felt a spider crawling on him, (when he said that he crawled his fingers on my shoulder), he would just let it crawl until it started to make a web, then he'd take it off, letting the string of web carry the spider somewhere else. I pictured myself freaking out if there was a spider on me, like I've done before. Yeah, no spiders are gonna crawl on me for that long if I can help it.

There was more to this dream, something about a wedding ceremony. I think it was Dallas and I's wedding, even though we were already married. It was like something to make it more "official", even though we were already legally married. There were many people. I thought about my name changing. I feel like we were outside in the daytime.

~

I was with my old supervisor, Laura. We were wandering around to different places. We were playing softball in one of the places. She was telling me about how in high school everyone thought she was dumb, and she didn't really have many friends. I then thought about this. I wondered about her boyfriend in high school. I pictured her in high school walking on a softball field. I said something to her about how I used to play softball, but she said she knew I didn't play for school, because she was on the school softball team and I wasn't. No, I didn't play for school, that was correct, but I don't think I said anything back to her after that.

Then, we were somewhere else, in some building. My nephew, Gary, came up to us and asked if we'd take him to the bathroom. I asked someone who was there with him if that was ok, and they said yes. We then went to take him in the bathroom. I asked him if he had to pee or poop, and he said poop. The "bathroom" was just a wooden room with a wooden seat with a hole cut out, There was no drain or water or anything; the waste would just go onto the floor. I started to tell him maybe he shouldn't go there, but it was too late. He was pooping. I saw it on the floor. Another kid had done it close to us too, a little to the back left of us, so I guess it would be fine.

Then, it was like I was playing Nintendo Nightmare, only with much better graphics due to a setting on there that I or someone else had turned on. It was like I was playing it in an arcade. I was in the Legend of Zelda world the whole time I was playing. I gathered some rupees and killed some enemies.

~

It was like I was playing Tomodachi Life. It was like viewing one of the islander's drams. There was a pickle and a banana standing on a grey concrete brick surface beside a lava pit. I said to them
"Pickle, you're a dork! That's why you and banana get to have lunch."
I guess "get to have lunch" meant "jump in the lava". It could have gone more than one way. They could have jumped over the lava pit or into it, but it was randomized which one would occur.

My alarm then went off and woke me up.

Dream - Lucid

I was dreaming of playing Tomodachi Life, and Dallas kept saying "Ooooooo" and I kept saying "What?????". He would never reply.

I woke up and he was snoring. I felt as if I had only been half asleep during this whole thing.

~

I had just had a baby, but the only thing I remember is I had been bottle-feeding it. I felt as if I should be breast-feeding it. I was in the piano room at the house I grew up in, and looked down at my breasts. I was wearing a solid-colored shirt, and my breasts looked swollen, but I wasn't lactating for some reason.

~

I was in marching band, marching a show. It was dusk. Not sure if it was a competition or a football game. I couldn't remember where I was supposed to go, so I tried to just follow the people around me. I knew it probably looked terrible to anyone who was watching.

Then, I was sitting at a computer in a house. I was in a chat room with some other people. Jake was one of them. He kept on posting pictures and videos of him and his new girlfriend. One of the videos was of them in the bathtub. I saw her boobs. I also saw him carrying a bottle of some kind of booze at some point. I saw by one of the pictures "Kristnnnnnn". At first, I thought it said "Kristaaaaa", and thought to myself he would date someone with the same name as me, but then saw that it was an N instead. She was actually a pretty girl. She had long, straight hair, big eyes, and was a tad bit chubby. In all the pics and videos, they looked happy. I was quite uncomfortable seeing all of this, especially since he's my ex. I wanted to tell him that I was uncomfortable with it, and that we needed to not talk anymore. I made a more private chat with both him and a few other people. I was trying to talk to just him.

At some point, I did get to talk to him, but I think it was in person. I talked to his new girlfriend, and said to her
"It's not you, I promise!" referring to the fact that I didn't want to talk to them anymore. She smiled and said she knew. She seemed quite understanding about it.

After speaking with them, I felt a sense of closure.

~

I was working at the bakery. I was packaging some things when I wandered off to the front of the store by self-checkout. I saw on a table there that there was some bread on sale, the brand that we usually buy, Arnold. It was a buy one get one sale. I was looking at the different types of bread and saw one that had a yellowish tint. It was potato bread. I had never tried it before, and wondered if Dallas would be ok with it too. I picked up a loaf and started to scan it, but then realized that I was still on the clock and I probably shouldn't be shopping on the clock. I abandoned my efforts and started to walk back to the bakery.

Before I got back, though, I went towards the bathroom, which was on the way; I really had to pee. I briefly heard Shannon, my manager, page me over the intercom, but I ignored it and kept going into the bathroom. I opened the door and noticed it was a men's and women's restroom. I walked by some stalls, and saw some toilets that still had pee in them. I wanted to find a clean one. I walked into one with a really big toilet. There was a brown tint to the drain in the bowl. Blech. But I needed to go. I then noticed that there were small brown cardboard scraps flying out of the air vent. That can't be healthy. They were landing in the toilet. So that's what was causing the brown tint. I then noticed another air vent on the wall of the stall above the toilet paper dispenser doing the same thing.

I left the stall and went further into the bathroom. Some women came into the restroom at some point. I saw a gross urinal-looking thing with some pee on or around it. At the very back of the restroom, there were showers. I assumed it was for employees who needed to shower. There was a line of showers heads and some stalls towards the back. The floor was tiled in a dark blue and some faded green color. I peeked around the corner, and saw that one of the showers in the stall was running. I turned away so I didn't see whoever was showering in there. For some reason, I believed it to be one of the old men who works there.

I then left the bathroom, preparing myself to face being yelled at for wandering off, when it dawned on me that it was ok, I was dreaming. Woot! I'm dreaming! I exclaimed to someone in a white uniform
"I'm dreaming!"
I then saw that it was my husband. He was smiling and seemed happy. My focus was then shifted to my mom, who was also there. She gave me a hug and was so happy for me. She said
"I'm so glad you can lucid dream so much! I wish I could eucid dream more!"
No, that isn't a typo. She really did say "eucid dream". I noticed that in the dream, but didn't say anything to correct her.

I then decided to fly. It had been awhile since I had. I took off and flew high in the air. I was flying down an aisle in the store. I started to float downwards, but used my thoughts to go back upwards, gently concentrating on floating up instead of trying too hard to do so. It worked like a dream . I then started to float down again, and was having trouble going back up. I felt this weird sensation when I thought about going back up, I assumed because I was trying too hard. It was like a buzzing sensation, one I've experienced in meditation before IWL. I was then on the ground on my stomach. I do believe I finally got back into the air.

I then woke up, and was working on packaging things in the bakery again. Shannon was putting things in the cooler. I saw some round bread that looked crusty, like the pizza dough we make looks if you freeze it for too long, on a rack. I was telling Shannon about lucid dreaming. She told me she had tried it, but she always felt this ringing in her ears. I thought I knew what she was talking about, and tried to relate with what happened with the buzzing in the lucid I had just had, but she said she had no idea what I was talking about.

At some point, I thought I was getting a hug from Shannon, and she was saying something about how she really likes me, but I then realized it was Dallas. I also went back to the front of the store and saw that someone had halved all the bread loaves that I had been looking at.

~

I was, yet again, working in the bakery. Some little black boy came up to the counter, and I asked him what he needed. He said he needed 50 "ham and cheese bites" on these small crunchy bread chips that we bake. I told him to wait while I asked if we could do that. I had a feeling that we couldn't, since we couldn't really price that. I asked Shannon if we could, but instead of bread chips, I said pita chips. She started to show me all these weird computer screens of blank, pale blue menus with a turkey leg-type cartoony outline in the background. It was like she was showing me that we had no way to ring up meat items, at least that's how I understood it. But she then started to talk about the pita chips and how we couldn't do it because of their shape. I then realized my error, and told her that I meant bread chips. Apparently, that changed everything, and we could do it. I went to tell the little boy. I told him it would be a few minutes. He had "2 minutes" written on a paper in marker that I noticed as I was telling him this. I hoped he didn't think it was only going to take 2 minutes. However, he seemed alright about it, though a little nervous and hesitant because his mom probably told him a time they needed it by.

I then walked in the back and heard a sizzling noise, and some weird music. I looked at one of the prep tables, and saw that some ham was cooking on two small hot plates.

I then was behind the counter again, and some little girl, a toddler, was wheeling a small stroller behind the counter. There was a boundary between where the counter and the floor ended and the employees only section started, and it was marked by navy blue tile. The girl was on the tile. I gently guided her and the stroller around behind the counter and back onto the sales floor.

I then was somewhere else, and realized I was dreaming again. I was outside on a sunny day by some small tower-type thing. I started to climb it. As I was climbing, I said to myself, out loud,
"I'm dreaming, so I can do whatever I want, see whoever I want, feel whatever I want..."
There were square steps made out of a metal grating. I felt them underneath my palms. God, they felt so real. I got to the top, and was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with what was left of the dream. I decided to try to summon Dreamer. As I made this decision, however, I noticed a white, oily-looking aura around my hand. I tried to examine my hands to stabalize, but it didn't seem to be doing much good. The vision in my right eye then went out. I started saying out loud,
"I want to see Dreamer! I know that the dream is ending, but still, if it works, I'd like to see her!"
I saw these rainbows that the reflections of the sunlight was making off of objects. I saw one in particular in a corner on the ground (yes, a corner outside). It was making some purple-type reflection. I thought for a brief second that maybe Dreamer was coming, but nothing happened. The dream was way too unstable at this point. I fought it for as long as I could, until finally, I succumbed to waking up.

Everything went black, and I felt this weird sensation in my body. I felt as if I was changing vibrations. I then woke up on the top bunk of a bunk bed. I climbed down the ladder and saw that my sheets were navy blue. There were two q-tips covered in ear wax stuck between the headboard and the mattress. Gross! I wondered how long those had been there. I knew they were Dallas's, since he cleans his ears out with q-tips all the time. I then noticed, in the corner of the room, a white 3-ringed binder with writing on it in purple marker. I made the connection with that and the dream I had just awoken from, thinking that my subconscious must have pulled that and put it in my dream.

I then heard what sounded like the coffee maker making coffee. Dallas doesn't drink coffee, so for some reason, I thought it must be Shannon making coffee.

I then woke up for real.

~

Here's an interesting side note, and I was wondering if anyone else (ladies) had noticed the same thing. I tend to be more likely to become lucid the week before I start my period. I've noticed this for a long time now. It is a week before my period starts, and I am having lucid dreams. It was like this last month too, when I had all those LDs. This has happened many, many times before, and I was curious if any other ladies have noticed that as well, or if I'm just the odd woman out.

Also, sorry CanisLucidus, I completely did not remember the lucid dare at all during these dreams.

Dream - Lucid

There was a girl with glasses that a very deformed neck. It looked like a huge mass of melted skin was on the back of it. She had to have it on this thing with wheels, kind of like a walker, to get around it was so big. She had a tattoo on it. She was showing it to us.

I was in high school marching band again. I remember saying something to someone about it, telling them I couldn't wait until I didn't have to be in it anymore. We were on the asphalt practicing. The sun was setting.

~

I was living in a neighborhood instead of an apartment complex. Two people I know IWL, Meg and Alicia, were moving into these tiny, studio apartment-type houses. Alicia's husband was also moving in with her. The houses were right next door to one another. I saw them moving in, and the apartment was so small, when you opened the front door, you could see the bed right there. Alicia's sister and her husband, Andrew, were somehow involved in this as well.

I knew they both smoked weed, and I knew that now that they lived there, the second we hung out again, I'd be smoking again too. I wasn't worried about it though. I thought that I could control my habits now. In the back of my head, I knew that I wouldn't be able to in reality, but I didn't care. I just didn't want Dallas to find out. I was really excited about smoking and having such easy access to it.

I was then hanging about with Alicia. Her husband wasn't there. I don't remember where we were, but we were just chatting, when she asked if I wanted to smoke. Hell yeah! I really wanted to. She went and grabbed a bong from somewhere inside I think. She then was asking me about having sex while high. High sex is good, but I'd never done it with a girl. I thought about doing it with Dallas, but didn't know if I would be able to get away with it without him knowing I was high.

I think we smoked, but the only thing I remember about that is thinking that my eyes were red. I was hoping we wouldn't get caught smoking since the house was so small. I didn't want to get arrested or in trouble in any way.

Then, I was talking to someone else about weed. She pulled some weed out that was a light green with white on it. She said it was hydroponic. I smelled it. It smelled good, but not like super good weed. She then was talking about putting it on chapstick and rubbing it in your eye to get high. I then thought that if I did that, my eyes would be really red.

~

I was outside of some store at nighttime. I was writing to my first crush/first kiss, Nick. It was nighttime outside. I typed him a letter, and put three fingerprints on it. It told him to email me at a new email address, and also told him to listen to a particular song. I think my mom helped me type it. I read it over to make sure there were no mistakes. Instead of "Dear Nick," it said "Dear D____", with the spaces being something I can't remember, but it looked like the new email address that I gave to him. The fingerprints were below that, shaped like a pyramid, with two on the bottom and one on top.

After it was sent, I wondered whether or not he would even acknowledge my new email, or if he would just write back saying he had already heard the song. The point wasn't whether or not he'd heard the song, it was the lyrics that I wanted him to listen to.

I was then sitting outside of a public bathroom. It felt like I was at Disney. It was still nighttime. There was a little blonde girl of about 5 and her mom also sitting outside the bathroom on a bench attached to the wall. The blonde girl then started to talk to me. She said
"In my country (she said the name of the country but I can't remember), we can play in the bathroom."
She then was asking me if there were things in the bathroom she could play with while she went. At her feet, there were many children's books. I told her she could take a book in the bathroom to read, and she got excited. She went in and forgot the book. I went over to the stall, which was unusually short, and handed it to her over top of the door.

Dream - Lucid

I was reliving my past, though it was an alternate version. Honestly, I'm not sure where I was, I just know I was inside somewhere. I was watching the guy that I first kissed, Nick, taking these girls into the bathroom with him. I was jealous because I really liked him. I think at one point I went in there with him, but we didn't make out or anything. He was showing me something in there.

This alternate past went on for quite awhile, mostly it was me watching Nick, wishing he would be with me. There was a brief point of lucidity, though it was hard to grasp. It was like I was having trouble letting go of the dream plot. I finally grasped the idea that I was dreaming, and started trying to do other things, when I woke up.

~

I was in Nick's house, though it was a weird house; it was like a mixture between a house and another location. I saw that Nick was in his room, though I did not go in there. I was in a dark, basement-like part of the building, but I could clearly see the entrance to Nick's room, and I could see the kitchen. We were older now. I had been in this building with him for quite awhile, it seems like years, and he had been in his room for mostly the whole time. I did not see him come out. I didn't want him to see me.

I then had to go in there to give him something. I was afraid he wouldn't talk to me. I believe we did talk, but I can't remember for sure.

I then was "remembering" a part of my alternate past again, though it was when we were older and in college. We were talking and having a great time. We weren't together as a couple, but we were quite close with one another, closer than we ever were IWL. We were sitting on some stairs, just talking and having a great time. I looked into his eyes, and saw him for who he was; his light brown eyes were quite happy.

I then was "remembering" us writing letters to each other. At some point during this, I started to "remember" the past more as it really happened IWL, though not to a T; I wrote him a letter that upset him, and he never spoke to me again. I was now back in the present moment. I then had another "memory" of me in a dark room that was lit with starlights, and it was full of small models of the orbiting planets. There was also a picture on the wall of all the planets that apparently I had made. It looked very realistic, as if it were a computer rendered image or a very realistic painting. It wasn't accurate as far as their orbits went, and I had more on on there than the ones we know, but still, it was really good. It was really quite beautiful. I tried to telekinetically take control of Neptune, which looked like a grey rock with an indentation in the middle. I was not doing a great job at it. As this was happening with the planets, I was thinking about Nick and how close we had been and how upset he was at me.

Then, I was back in the present moment, considering whether or not I should write him more letters, though I was receiving no response. I wanted to write poetry to him, but I then thought about how inappropriate that would be since I'm married.

Dream skip, though the Nick thing was still relevant somehow. I was working at a grocery store, the same one I work at now, though I was not in the bakery, but I was doing something else. I was in a different section. It looked like produce, but was not all produce; there were other things besides fruits and veggies, like rice and such. I was working on setting up a display, when a woman approached me, an older, Asian woman with glasses. She asked me about a bag of rice that she had that was slightly opened. I told her I'd get her another one. I took the one from her and gave her another one. She examined it very carefully to make sure it wasn't opened. The bag was VERY slightly torn, and she noticed. I told her it was fine, it wasn't opened like the other one was. She still needed another one, however. Before I left, she told me she needed a 1-pound bag because the one she had was 3 pounds, and she wanted 4 pounds of rice. She was holding up two bags and showing me how one said one pound and the other said three pound. I took them from her to look, one at a time. For bags of rice, they were extremely lightweight. I gave them back to her. As I was leaving to go get one from the back, she shouted after me
"One pound!" as if I didn't hear her the first time.

I went and found one, I think asking someone about it on the way. I made sure that it said 1 pound on the bag. I went to bring it to her, and she swore it said 3 pounds. -_-'

She then directed my attention to another woman, a customer, who looked like she had chain smoked all her life, who was standing at a microphone at a podium to make an announcement. Only associates were supposed to use those. I saw some smoke trickle from between her lips. She was announcing something. The customer then asked me
"What's your joystick policy?" she asked as if she was quizzing me; she knew the answer, but wanted to see if I knew.
"I don't know," I responded. I had never heard of a "joystick policy" before.
She then directed my attention to an associate, a girl wearing the uniform we have to wear, who was standing behind a different podium with a microphone, but she was standing a bit further a way. The customer asked her to tell me what it was. She started to speak into the microphone, but her voice was no clear at all and I could not understand a word she said. I told the lady I couldn't understand what she was saying.

~

On average, I dream about Nick 1-3 times a year. It's usually something vivid too.

Dream - Lucid

I was inside some building at night. I don't know for sure what it was, but I was inside a bathroom in this building. Inside the bathroom was me, a police officer or some kind of law enforcement officer, and Doug Funny, who was the criminal. It was like he was trying to escape. He had a mean, angry look on his face, and had blood on his shirt. I remember the police saying something to him. They left me with him so I could detain him.

Instead of detaining him, I spoke with him calmly. I looked for the wounds that were causing him to bleed, and saw two areas that looked like a bunch of raised blisters, one of the back of his head, and one on his stomach, but the one on his stomach was just a bunch of nutshells. I brushed off the nutshells. I told him I would bandage up the back of his head. He asked me to wrap some gauze around it. I told him I would.
"Let me go look in the first aid kit," I said.

I looked for the first aid kit, and couldn't find it.

I then was in a room in the same building that had some long cafeteria tables in it. There were a few people at the tables eating, one being one of my managers from my old job, Laura. I think Doug Funny was also sitting there. I was worried that he would get in trouble for being there. I sat at a table that had someone else at it, but I sat alone. I was looking at my phone; I knew the sun would be up soon (I think this was bleeding in from having to be up early for work this morning). I remember talking to Laura at some point.

I then went looking for another bathroom, because I had to go. I found two bathrooms, and instead of being marked "Men's" and "Women's", they were marked "Physical" and "Spiritual". I knew it was referring to physical families and spiritual families, and it had something to do with the Muslim faith. I went inside the one that said spiritual. Inside, there were these huge, luxurious stalls. I went into one that was close to the back. No one else was in there, but I felt more comfortable there. I sat on the toilet, and an oriental woman came up to me and started setting up this station for a foot massage. I quickly told her
"No thank you, I don't need a foot massage!"
She promptly left. I didn't want a foot massage while I was pooping.

I remember having flesh-colored feces in a plastic Ziplock bag. I had to hold them in place while I tried to go to the bathroom? Didn't really understand this part too well.

Then, as I was leaving the bathroom, I ran into a young Middle Eastern couple, maybe in their 30's or so. The man started to speak with me about Muslim spiritual families, using all these terms that I did not understand. His wife then said
"Honey, she has no idea what you're talking about."

~

I know I had a dream before this one, but again, insomnia kicked my ass for half the night. Getting pretty fed up with this sleeplessness stuff. I guess I was spoiled for awhile and was getting plenty of sleep. Now, I just can't seem to catch more than a few hours. Bleh.

Dream - Lucid

I was standing in the kitchen at my house. My brother and my mom were there, and outside, it was evening. My brother was standing at the open back door, talking to my mom. I then caught a glimpse of Austin, an ex, walking in the back yard towards the house next door. He was wearing a muted yellow hoodie that looked hippie-ish, similar to the clothing he wears IWL. He stopped for a second, and kept walking.

What?! Austin? Weird. I thought I was imagining things at first, but no, he had been there, plain as day in the back yard. Doesn't he remember that I lived in that house? Did he see me too?

I was then out in the front yard. The sun was going down. I saw that next door, in the driveway, there was a party. I assumed that's where Austin was. His girlfriend was probably there as well. I didn't go over. Instead, I sat/laid in my front yard. I was sure they noticed me there, so I felt a little weird about just lying down in the yard alone.

I then was at Jake's apartment, spending the night. My brother was there too. We were all sleeping in the living room. I was on the big chair, Jake was on the couch, and Blake was on the floor. It was nighttime and dark in the room; no lights were on. Jake had this black camera with a red light set up on a tripod in the middle of the living room. It was a security camera that scanned the room, back and forth, and also, it could move around the room on the tripod. You could either arm it or not. Either way, if it saw you or a target, it would sound an alarm, and, depending on whether or not it was armed, it would either not hurt you at all, or it would shoot rounds and rounds of bullets at you. Jake was out of the living room and in his room, while I was still in the living room on the chair, when he told me that he had it armed. He said it like it wasn't a big deal. At this point, the camera was pointed away from me, looking in the opposite direction. I thought about if it saw me, I'd be instantly killed; this was no joke. I would die. But as long as I didn't move, I'd be fine.

Then, I decided I needed to get up for some reason, and had to walk past the camera. I somehow got past it and back without getting shot at. Whew. That was close.

Then, Austin and his girlfriend were there...and Jake hates Austin (true IWL, even though they've never met). But at this point, Jake was asleep on the couch. I was really baffled about Austin being there...it was weird. He seemed fine though. He was being his kind self, and his girlfriend, whom I've never met IWL, was being very sweet to me.

I then started to talk to him about Jake. I think we were doing something with the camera at this point, or at least talking about it. That's when Jake woke up and started to freak out, telling us to shut up and to get out. Blake was still fast asleep on the floor throughout all this mess. I was worried the camera would start to shoot us, but it didn't. Jake was so angry, but he didn't hurt us or anything. He was just really pissed that Austin was there, and that we'd been talking about him. I guess he hadn't been asleep after all, but listening in to what we said. Or, I thought, maybe the camera had recorded us, and while we had our backs turned, he watched the recording of us talking about him.

~

I was at my house, and Jake was there too, still pissed from the Austin thing. I don't know why he was there, I think to pick up some of his stuff. I remember him asking where one of his things was in my room. Whatever. I wished he wasn't so mad, but he was, and I guess there wasn't anything more I could do about it. I think we were talking about the camera too.

I then walked into the bathroom. The light was bright in there. I used the toilet, flushed it, and it proceeded to overflow all over the place. I felt the cold water on my feet as it continued to pour out and flood the bathroom. It was coming out at a pretty fast rate. I tried to block the flow from getting much further into the bathroom with a dark blue rug we have by the toilet. It kind of worked, and the flow had also slowed down, but the toilet made a noise, and a fresh wave of water started to pour out. I called for someone, I think Jake, who was in my room. I opened the door that connects the bathroom to my room, hoping the water wasn't going to get in and onto the carpet. It wasn't yet, but if it flooded much more, it would spill over. I told him what happened. I think I also told my mom, because I needed help getting the toilet to stop, and also, cleaning up the mess.