Krista's Dream Journal

Dream - Lucid

I was at the house I grew up in. My family was there with me, my mom, dad, and brother. It was, once again, the zombie apocalypse. I remember being in my old bedroom with a family member, and them opening the door to check if the coast was clear. They freaked out as they saw a bunch of zombies coming towards the door. If I am not mistaken, through the doorway, I saw that same ponytailed zombie from my last apocalypse dream first before the horde. I went to the door in a panic to shut the zombies out.

Then, we were all packing up to leave, to go somewhere safer. Similar to Fear the Walking Dead, we had a huge boat in the garage we were going to escape on. I was packing my things quickly, trying to only take what I needed, but I was throwing lots of extra things in there; I felt bad leaving anything behind, though I knew I couldn't take everything. I remember putting a lot of clothing in the suitcase.

I then overheard some guys that were doing some landscaping work on our house discussing our boat. I was afraid they were planning to steal it, so I started to frantically hurry my family along in packing up. They didn't seem to get my sense of urgency, but I kept urging anyway. My brother had no clean clothes to pack, so we got his dirty clothes hamper and we started to pack dirty clothes in his room. It didn't matter that they were dirty; we needed to get out of there ASAP.

I wanted to take at least one of our cats. The cats that were there were Pounce (deceased IWL), Ziggy (also deceased IWL), and my current IWL cat, Belle. I wanted it to be Pounce that we took. I saw her sitting under the kitchen table. I pictured myself putting her in my current cat's cage to take her along. For some reason though, we weren't going to take the cats with us.

We then were putting the packed suitcases into the back of the boat, which was now a huge van-like vehicle. In the garage, the landscapers drove by on this huge white cherry-picker-type machine. They said something to us, hi maybe, not sure. But it made me feel more urgent in packing. I stuck my suitcase in the back. All the suitcases fit nicely. I remember someone putting some 12-packs of Coke in the back as well.

I then was getting in the van to sit down. Inside, I saw Jarrod and another person getting things ready to go.

~

I was at the house I grew up in. I was in my room, which was dark save for the closet light. I was lying on the opposite side of the bed from what I normally used to sleep on, and I was giving birth. I was alone. The baby was born, and I cut the cord myself. It was a girl. I then gave birth to many more babies, two who were still-born. The still-born babies didn't seem to bother me, I just knew I had to keep birthing babies. I labored and cut all the cords myself, setting the newborns wrapped up in white blankets on a bedside table. They were all so quiet and sleepy. I had I believe 6 in total, but I kept thinking there were only 5 there. Most were girls and only 2 were boys. The two girls born first I named Alana and Alyssa. I named one of the boys Michael, but I don't think I named the rest.

I then started breastfeeding each baby. I would take them in either the cradle hold or football hold and bring them to my right breast first (the one my daughter IWL preferred). I would them pull my lips over my teeth to simulate some sort of latch? I don't know why I did this, but it made sense in the dream that I had to do it so the baby would latch. The babies succeeded and didn't succeed. There were some attempts that were great, and the baby got some colostrum, and others the babies had trouble latching, but there was never any crying or screaming from them. I remember for one baby, I had to brush my nipple to their cheek so they would root that way to get to the milk. They were all so mild-mannered and sleepy. When I finished the feeds, I would put the babies back onto the bedside table.

I was then explaining to someone in the house that 2 babies were still-born. Again, it didn't seem to bother me, as if it was just a natural thing that happened (which it is, I guess).

I then remember something about a huge dental needle. My mom I think was going to give it to me in my cervix so I'd have more babies. I was done for the day though. I had so many babies to care for already.

I never felt tired or overwhelmed from all the babies either, just a sense of duty and a neutrality that kept me going.

~

This dream was sort of a pick up from the last dream. All the babies were there. I was with my family and some others I believe. Alana was still just a newborn, but she looked like a toddler. She said she wanted to eat some apples and apple juice. She didn't want anything else. I wasn't sure she was old enough for that, but she insisted. I figured I'd get her a bag of pre-sliced apples. Alana looked like she was related to this girl I know IWL, Alicia; she looked like one of her IWL daughters. I believe Alicia was also there.

I then was at the store with my husband, one of my best friends IWL Cherie', and a girl named Meghan that I don't hardly talk to IWL. The store resembled a "super" Kroger that I don't frequent IWL because I don't know where everything is there, as it is so big. I was not shopping with them I don't think, but waiting for them to finish. When they came back to me, I was standing in this lobby-type area on the second floor of the building. Apparently, the grocery store was not the only thing this building had. It was kind of like a huge shopping center with different stores and activities on different levels. They came to me and they hadn't gotten apples or apple juice. They had gotten cheese though, which I thought Alana wanted. I forgot if she wanted cheese, apples, or apple sauce, but I KNEW she wanted apple juice. I got pissed that my husband had picked out all the wrong things. I headed down to go shopping. I had to go down this weird, metal, roller slide thing. If you ever went to Discovery Zone as a child, picture the rolly slide they had there, only silver metal instead of multicolored plastic. There were areas on it that were bigger, darker rollers and you had to do something to put more of your weight down on those, and they would lower you to where you needed to go. I remember sitting on it backwards and not being sure how to trigger the big rollers to let you down. I did it though.

We were then shopping again, and this time, we STILL didn't get apple juice. We walked down the aisles looking and my husband picked out these canned mandarin oranges in a sugary juice. We checked out and I was, once again, so pissed that we still didn't get apple juice. We were on the second floor lobby again, and I asked my husband if he was stupid and went back down to the store with Meghan and Cherie to actually finally get apple juice. We wandered around the store, and I went to the aisles that I thought for sure the apple juice would be on, but nothing. We finally asked an employee, and she pointed down an aisle and told us it was there, and at the end of the aisle. Well, we went down the aisle and it was just these big containers of I think cereal, no juice of any kind. I was getting frustrated and worried about Alana, as she was back home and needed to eat. I came to the end of the aisle, and we were at the back of the store where they keep a lot of cold items in coolers and freezers. I didn't want frozen apple juice, but I didn't know that we had another choice. I opened a cooler and there was unfrozen, refrigerated apple juice in a HUGE container. The container had written on it on the left-hand side: "0% orange juice, 100% apple juice, 0% (some other fruit) juice". I thought about how much juice Alana really needed, and pictured her actual size. She was as tiny as a fairy and was floating around, but still looking and acting like a toddler. She definitely didn't need a lot of juice, but this was the only container I could find, so I put it in the cart and we started heading back to the check out. We ran into a girl I knew when I was going to school named Kris. She and Meghan exchanged a greeting, as they had been best friends apparently at some point. They called each other their apparent old high school nicknames, one had something to do with the name Jasmine. We passed them and went on to this weird, almost blacklight looking area in the store.

We then were at checkout. We were going to this line where you had to get this weird machine with a long cord so people would check you out. There was a big, younger black man there with the machine wrapped around him, which he had apparently broken. The cashiers or someone was getting onto him a little for it.

~

Now THIS is the recall I'm talking about! Hell yeah. I woke from my first dream and immeditely took notes in my phone. The second two I didn't take notes for. Getting that recall back up to par! Yay! Also, the hormones during pregnancy really drive up the vividness factor in my dreams so that is a HUGE plus to being pregnant, you know, besides the obvious growing a new life thing.

Dream - Lucid

I was watching something that looked like Pokemon with Jake on the TV in the living room of my house. It was nighttime, and I was gonna try to sleep, so I paused the show. Then, Jake unpaused it. We kept going back and forth like that, until I got irritated and told Jake I was trying to sleep, and that's why I was pausing it.

~

I was watching some movie, or was involved in some movie-like situation, where the woman who plays Dr. Cameron on House was a photographer, though she looked like the character she played briefly on How I Met Your Mother, Zooey. Yes, that's right, I was in the band again at my old high school. My old band teacher wanted some photos of apartments made. Apparently, this got done every year. My band teacher really liked her photography for some reason. She was supposed to be taking pictures of apartments for him. He started to look at them, and they were obscure pictures. Like weird pictures of inside the apartments. I remember one being of right outside the apartment, the stairs leading up to it and the sign above the door which read "APARTMENT".

Well, the band teacher didn't like that. He was looking for pictures of the apartments from a bird's eye view, not this weird abstract stuff. He fired her, and then, someone told her she was going to die at 25. She didn't believe it, since she was 24, but apparently, she did end up dying.

Leonardo DiCaprio was in there somewhere too, but I'm not sure where he came into play.

I was going to some high school reunion thing (IWL a couple of weeks ago I went to a brief choir reunion to sing the National Anthem at my old high school's 10 year anniversary, where they named the football stadium). I remember Kayla being there. I put my purse in a locker in the girl's locker room, which, in the dream, was underneath the stadium. Many other people were there as well. The lockers were very tiny, and I didn't have a lock, so I just put my things in a locker in the middle of the wall of tiny lockers and hoped for the best.

I also saw a girl I knew of in high school and actually met and had classes with in college, Megan H. In IWL, she's very conservative and Christian. In the dream, she was a photographer, and only put on the front of being very conservative and religious, though I seemed to be one of the only ones who could see that. She had apparently gotten in big trouble with the law at some point, like gotten arrested, but I'm not sure why. She still acted like her bubbly, Christian self in the dream, though it seemed almost strained. She came up to me with a smile and started talking to me. She was holding a camera.

Megan, Kayla, and I all went up into the stadium, which was HUGE and very packed with people who had gone to the high school in the past 10 years. It was nighttime outside. As we were walking, I heard the brass players that were on the field play this one chord, and I got annoyed, because they were going to start playing some silly song that they always played in high school (the brass sections were such goof-offs in high school IWL -_-). They were a few of the brass players that went to high school with me. I remember specifically a trumpet player named Micheal being down there. They were wearing their high school band uniforms.

We sat down on the far right edge towards the top of the stadium. Megan sat behind me, and I think Kayla as well. Megan started to talk and talk and talk to us. I turned around to listen. She started talking about weaves, and some black guy with, and I quote, "plastic in his hair". A big black girl with a weave and a white V-neck shirt that was sitting next to Megan (who btw is very white haha) turned to her and said "Mmmhmm!" as if she was agreeing. I then turned back around, and everyone around us was quiet and turned around staring at us, as if they were waiting for us to shut up so they could do the National Anthem or something. I felt a little embarrassed at first, but Megan kept obliviously talking, and I just ignored the stares since I had barely said a word; it was all Megan. I then thought about a waking life memory, how the choir alumni had been down there a couple weeks prior doing the National Anthem instead of the band alumni.

Then, I wanted to check my phone for the time or something, but it was dead. I would hold down the button, but it wouldn't turn on. I had had a feeling it was going to die, since when I had gotten there the battery was so low. I got up to leave during this part for some reason, when everyone was waiting quietly for the National Anthem. I was the only one getting up to leave. I started to go down a stairway that lead to underneath the stadium, but the dance team was under there doing some slow, almost interpretive dance, and then behind them, I saw pom-poms and only a little bit of the cheerleaders. I went down another way.

I was then back at the lockers, and lots of people were there again. Part of the wall and lockers had been removed, and you could see to the other side of the wall, which was the guy's locker room, I believe. It reminds me now of Minecraft; it looked as if "blocks" had been removed from the wall. I asked someone who did this, and I think they said some Freshman girl did it or something. At any rate, my locker was still there. As I opened it to grab my purse, I hoped no one had stolen anything. I felt the bottom of my purse to see if I could feel everything that was in there. I was especially checking for my wallet. At first, I didn't feel it, but then I did. Thank goodness!

I checked my phone again, and it was still dead. It came on very briefly, and then died again.

I was then riding home with Megan's family. Megan's dad was driving. We got into my neighborhood, and he dropped me off at where my street starts so I had to walk a couple houses down to get to my place. I got out, and was holding this blue notebook. Papers and folders were crammed into it and falling out. I was trying to get it all together, when I said to Megan's dad
"I've been unemployed for 9 months," and I said other things as well, but I can't remember what. We had been talking about how I'd been, I guess.
He responded with
"Good morning, Superman." He smiled when he said this.

I then woke up.

~

I was at my college again, but it was like it was mixed with Minecraft. I remember going through some caves, seeing obsidian and torches and some wooden doors. I saw lots of zombies too, and they would change appearance randomly with the light levels. I killed them.

Then, I was heading out of the cave and onto the campus. A tall, handsome, kind-looking Arab man then approached me. He didn't speak English very well. He offered me a single pink rose, and asked me to walk him to class. He told me his name, but it was something really complicated, so I can't remember it, and couldn't throughout the dream. Anyway, I took his hand, and I walked him to his class. We were walking over blocky, stone Minecraft terrain that was imposed on the campus. It was daytime outside. We talked while we went to his class.

This happened again too, where he found me standing at another cave entrance, and asked me to walk him to his class. He gave me another single pink rose, and we walked around campus to his class. He was so kind, a very sweet person whom I really enjoyed being around. This time, before we parted, I gave him a big hug. It was so warm and loving, a beautiful embrace. We lingered for a while, just hugging.

For a little bit, I thought about how JP had been represented in some of my dreams as an Indian or Middle-Eastern man. I then thought that this man was nothing like JP or the character that represented him, and carried on, walking by myself now that the Arab man was gone to class.

Then, he stopped showing up. I was really upset, because I knew it was because the dean of the school, who looked like my old high school principal, Mr. Nolan, didn't like him because he was Arab, which automatically made him "suspicious", as if he were a terrorist or something. I was absolutely furious. The area I was in at this point was cave-like, and had another, older looking Arab guy around, and some other people as well. I think I asked him where the other guy went. When I asked, I simply referred to him as Ahmed, because I couldn't remember his complicated name. I don't remember what he said, though I already knew what happened. I was going to take action; this was absolutely disgusting and ridiculous.

I went into the dean's office. Apparently, Mr. Nolan wasn't there that day, and the guy standing in for him looked kind of like an old assistant principal, Mr. Lichens, except for he had a bowl cut and was much skinnier than the real Mr. Lichens. He had the same color hair, red, and glasses though, as the IWL Lichens does. He looked up as I entered. I immediately started to go off. I began by throwing a small object, and yelling, filled with rage, (this isn't word-for-word, but it's as close as I can remember it)
"I quit this school! You bastards, Ahmed is not a terrorist! He is a nice person who just wants to learn! You're just afraid! Not every Arab is like Osama bin Laden!"
I'm sure I said some other things too. Lichens lookalike started to look angry the second I started to yell. I stormed out, and he immediately got on the phone with Mr. Nolan, telling him that I just quit the school, which I could hear through the door I had come through. God damn, I was angry. I was so very, very angry. It was so unfair that they did this! I turned around and yelled at the door, hoping he could hear me through it as I could hear him. I think I called them bastards again.

I was then standing with some people, one I remember being a girl named Melissa that worked at the job I recently quit. She was standing with another girl, apparently her partner. They were so in love, it was so sweet. I hugged Melissa, and she was whispering to me about how happy and in love she was with this other girl. I was very happy for them.

I was then getting some things out of a cubby in the band room from high school. My tennis shoes were in there. I thought about all the high school band kids there.

Dream - Lucid

I was at my house, in the living room. It was morning, and the room was dimly lit. My mom had just gotten back from Oregon. My brother, Blake, and his girlfriend, Sarah, were there too, but they were in his room, asleep still. My mom came in and started to bitch about Blake's girlfriend. I disagreed with her about what she was saying.

Then, I was in the kitchen with Blake's girlfriend, Sarah. She was getting something from the cabinet under the sink. She was talking to me as she did, I think trying to give me advice or help me with something.

Some more happened at the house, but I can't remember what.

~

I was at my old college, in the building that the job I recently quit was in, though it looked different. I was there to vote for the President. It was very crowded. I think I was there with someone too, but I can't remember who.

We walked up some very crowded stairs to a table where you voted. It was much different than in waking life; it was just a fold-out table with some pieces of plastic or cardboard set up on it as "walls" to separate the voters. I got up there, and took a piece of paper. It was like a checklist of the candidates. I don't remember who I picked, and then, I realized that I wasn't really paying much attention when I voted. I got up and looked at my ballot. I was making sure I at least didn't vote for Romney, and checking for an "x" marked by Gary Johnson's name. I saw his name, simply "Gary" on the sheet, but I hadn't marked it. I had marked one below it, some female candidate from an off-the-wall party. I wanted to change it, but obviously, I couldn't. Someone in charge of the voting then took my ballot and put it with all the other ballots. I thought to myself that at least I didn't vote for Obama or Romney, but that didn't make me feel any better about it.

Then, I was walking by some restaurants in the same area of the building. I spotted someone working at what looked like a Pizza Hut booth who looked familiar. He was tall, thin, and had glasses, though I couldn't see his hair because of his Pizza Hut hat. He looked at me and said something like
"Oh, it's just you."
I asked him
"Are you mad at me?"
"Yes," he responded, "you just quit!"
He then looked away, and continued doing what he was doing.
I was still trying to place him in my mind. Was he a Pizza Hut employee? I was never friends with anyone who worked there...

Then it hit me: He was the supervisor of the whole restaurant area, Toby. He was the one who put my name in the system and such. Shit...well, I'm here, better try to make this right.
"Let me explain to you what happened," I said.
He agreed to let me explain myself, and came to sit with me at a table.
"Listen," I started, "I have depression, and it got really bad...that's why I quit."
"Depression?" he said, a bit skeptically, but he was listening now, at least.
I talked to him about it, saying it was hard to explain. He had to get up and go take care of something at the Pizza Hut real quick, but came back. He talked to me about how he had to work at Quarto's (what he called the Pizza Hut) since they were understaffed, and told me they hired someone else where I used to work named Wilma. He also told me that Mallisha, a girl that I worked with there, had her baby. He seemed a lot less angry now. He looked at me as we talked with kind eyes, trying to understand.

I thought to myself afterwards how I had resolved the issue. I felt good about it.

~

I was again at the college, but the area looked different. I was sitting down talking to my old manager, Gloria. She was being very kind to me, and seemed happy. I think she was so happy because it was the end of the workday on Friday, and she didn't work on the weekends. She asked me how I was, and we talked a bit. She never asked about how I quit, she never asked about any of that stuff. It was like I had never left.

I then saw some people I worked with there, the one I remember for sure being Gwen. She was with someone else, another girl. They were about to go shoot this movie or something, that was supposed to be what would happen during a real bomb threat. I then pictured them dressed as zombies, wandering around this tent set up in a gymnasium. I then pictured an above view of them laying on a gurney surrounded by other gurneys with people on them, all naked except for plastic wrap covering them, so you could only see outlines of their nipples...it was weird, but apparently, that was part of the shoot they were doing. Gwen is also black, but her body was white in this part of the shoot. I thought I was supposed to help with that somewhere in there. I pictured myself in the middle of the craziness, with zombies walking around in the tent, and tons of people calmly filing out. There were different tents set up in there as well, and the same thing was happening in all of them.

I then saw what looked like a Pizza Hut commercial. Mallisha, some other employees, and Gwen all filed out of what I assumed was Pizza Hut, in slow motion. They all appeared to be in what looked like Pizza Hut uniforms, with red shirts and black pants. It was nighttime. I got excited, and got chills because I knew these people, and was happy for them that they were on TV! Mallisha, who looked thinner than IWL, I assumed it was because she had her baby, led the line, as if she was the boss or manager, and looked back at Gwen, who had lighter skin than IWL, who was in the back of the line. It showed Gwen doing the same to Mallisha. They were heading towards a bus. The whole thing was in slow motion. There was a male voice narrating in the background the whole time, but I can't remember what it said.

I was then outside in some closed-in concrete porch area with a bunch of people who worked at the restaurants on campus. It was nighttime. They were all working on some big event, which I'm assuming had something to do with the movie shoot or the commercial. I was sitting all on my own, feeling like I didn't really belong there since I had quit, when someone called my name.
"Krista! Come sit with us!"
I wasn't sure who called me over, but I went towards the direction of the voice, and sat down on the ground with a group of girls that contained some Latino girls and also Gwen, who finally looked exactly as she does IWL, though she wasn't the one who called me. I was sitting next to her. She was wearing a tight grey dress.

Gwen then started to talk to me. Her voice sounded exactly how I remember it.
"Let me update you on what's happened since you've been gone," she said. "They wanted to promote me to manager, but I declined. (insert some things I can't remember here). Next to that one restaurant, you know, Seaweed or something."
IWL, the "Seaweed" place she was referring to was really Pizza Hut.
She was very kind and informative.

I then was in some hallway, which wasn't nearly as crowded as everywhere else had been, and I saw Toby again. I got his attention, because I wanted to talk to him some more about the whole mess. I took his hands, and led him to a wall. His back was facing the wall. Then, there was a door there, and someone started to come out. I led Toby away from the door. The red-headed guy who came through the door looked at us. I felt like he must think something funny is going on between Toby and I. Toby was then against the white-painted concrete cinder block wall. I started to talk.
"I've been having more bad days than good," I said.
"Bad days? Everyone has those," he responded.
I then went on as I was looking down, trying to adjust our position again,
"But I think I've forgotten how to have good days," I said to him.
He seemed very understanding to my plight. His eyes spoke volumes to me. I again went on.
"I'm sorry for quitting like that," I said, "it was very unprofessional of me."
We then hugged. We hugged for quite some time. It was a nice embrace, very comforting.
As he pulled away he said
"We might have a meeting on Monday." He then walked away and through a door, not looking back at me. Maybe he was embarrassed for showing so much emotion and understanding, I don't know.

At any rate, I guess I still had my job there, though I honestly didn't want it back. I thought to myself that I better tell my mom when I get up for work on Monday. I was also proud of myself for resolving the problem, and how it didn't go over nearly as bad as I thought it would.

Dream - Lucid

I was in what appeared to be a cave system, but it was supposed to be at the restaurant I recently quit. The manager was evil, and was turning all the employees into zombies. I refused to let that happen to me. As the zombie workers tried to attack me, one by one, I fought them off. I remember them having red, glowing eyes.

~

I was asleep on our neighbor's front porch, underneath my sleeping bag. It was nighttime. I rolled over, and the door opened. Lisa (the neighbor) checked on me, and then went back in. I rolled back over. I wondered how I was sleeping out there and not being freezing cold.

I then remember going inside, I guess it was time to get up. The sun was just starting to come up. Lisa came down the stairs. Something about the cat needing to go outside.

Then, I was sitting on the porch with Lisa and her husband, Steve. One of her sons, Kael, was there briefly as well. He walked up to us for a little bit. He was smiling and gently swaying from side to side.

An owl then flew by, and I held out an orange prescription bottle of assorted pills, one Lisa had put together, of some antibiotics and antidepressants. The antibiotics looked like some I took last year IWL for an upper-respiratory infection. They were large green and blue capsules. The owl landed and took a beakful of the pills, and flew away. Apparently, Lisa did this all the time, fed the animals pills. It was supposed to help them. I was worried, though, since the owl had taken so many. He took quite a few of the antibiotics, which I felt like we needed for some reason. No one else really seemed all that concerned.

Spoiler for Expicit content:

Then, it was just me and Steve. On the street, lots of prostitutes filed out of a car. I thought about their jobs for a second, how it must be hard for women to go to work, knowing strangers are just going to fuck them all night. There was a girl who Steve wanted. She told him to take her in the ass. He pulled back her panties and did just that, right there where the street met the front yard.

Then, we were back on the porch. He was smoking a cigarette, and was surrounded by the empty orange pill bottles. I picked one up, took out a pencil, and wrote "STFU" on the white label, and put it down next to him.
"What did you write?" Steve asked.
"Shut the fuck up," I said, and stormed away.

I came back a little later, and that particular bottle was gone. I assumed he got angry and threw it (IWL he has a pretty bad temper).

I was then at home, standing in my mom's office with my mom and my brother. They were on the other side of the room. I opened up the farthest left window and looked out. It was a grey, overcast morning. My brother then said
"It smells like smoke in here."
I then replied with
"I didn't smoke, Steve was smoking a cigarette," or something like that.
He then came back with
"No, not cigarette smoke, weed smoke."
I then turned all defensive and said
"I only had one hit! I'm not even that high!" though I don't remember smoking weed in the dream, unless it was sometime when I was on the porch with Lisa and Steve.

~

I was in a room with lots of people. A man who looked kinda like a guy I knew from my college Swing Dance Club, Alan, came up behind me and gently put his arms around me. I hugged his arms back. I was very comforted by his presence. I was very happy and content being around him, being held by him. At one point, he whispered "I love you" to me. I think he thought I was asleep. I'm pretty sure I said it back. "I love you, too."

I was then sitting on a hospital bed, in what looked like a hospital room. The walls, floors, and sheets were all white. Sitting on two chairs in the back of the room were my old boss from the restaurant in the first dream, and a big, tall black guy who looked kind of like a guy I went to school with when I was younger, and Kenan from the show Kenan & Kel. My old boss asked me
"So why were you in the hospital...?" She named off a few mental illnesses that could have put me in.
I said
"My depression got really bad." A vague statement.
She then said
"Oh I understand, my son deals with that sometimes," and she patted the guy next to her on the back.
I was then handed a form I had to sign. Something on it was highlighted in yellow. I also remembered I didn't have a doctor's note, but no one asked me for one.

As people walked by the room, I scanned for the guy from the beginning of the dream, but I couldn't find him.

I then was following one of the girls I used to work with down a long hallway. She explained to me that since I'd been gone, they had done some renovations, so everything was located in different places now. She then told me that I either need to stay or quit, and to not do what I did again.

As I was walking, I realized that I had no idea how or why I had come back here; I quit for a reason. But I kept on walking.

Then, I was heading to a huge auditorium with quite a few other people. I still couldn't find the guy. The leader of the group couldn't quite decide which way the auditorium was. There were two, actually, and we needed to be at a certain one. We finally decided on one of them, and walked in.

There were blue, auditorium-style seats in the audience and on the stage. The ones on the stage went up very high. We filed in the ones on the stage and sat. I was scanning the room for the guy that held me, wanting to find him again. I scanned in the rows of guys, who all appeared to be in tuxes, but I couldn't find him. I saw one that looked kind of like him with a blue baseball cap on, but it wasn't him. All I could remember about the guy who held me, besides what he looked like, was his last name being "Creech"; I had no idea what his first name was. I remembered this from seeing it written down somewhere.

We were all then watching the opera class rehearse for a show. We were watching from the audience seats now, as they performed in the stage seats. Their costumes were all farmer-ish; one girl looked kind of like she was supposed to be Little Bo Peep.

I then heard my old choir teacher from high school yell out that she needed to see me and Zach, a guy I was in band and choir with in high school. We got up and started to walk upwards (we were in the stage seats again). I then noticed Zach and I were wearing our old high school marching band uniforms, and everyone else was in my old college's marching band uniform. I felt silly, still being in my high school uniform. I guessed it was because we came in late, and had to wear some kind of uniform.

When we got to the top, my choir teacher talked only to me, and not Zach at all. She said, with a plastered-on smile, as is the norm for her IWL,
"Don't do what you did again. If you're going to quit, then quit. If you're going to stay, then stay. There are plenty of other people who would like to be up there."
Inside, I was very upset that she was saying these things to me. I have depression, and it got really, really bad, and that's why I left. She then asked,
"Can you do that for me?"
I said
"I...I don't know."
I was crying at this point.

I then walked away, planning on just removing my uniform and leaving, never to come back again, when I remembered I wanted to find that guy, "Creech", again. I turned around to go back. People were filing out of the auditorium, including the farmer-dressed opera members, who were talking about singing. I scanned the line for Creech, but couldn't find him.

I then ran into the girl that led me down the long hallway. She said if I was going to quit, to hang up my uniform. Sigh. I didn't even want to give them that.

I was then in the back, and there were some fat, ugly girls in full-length black choir dresses. They were apparently on the "sidelines" of the choir, so to speak; if I quit, one would get to sing. I remember one with curly hair and glasses talking about it. I took off my uniform (no longer the band uniform, though I'm not sure what uniform I was wearing), and was wearing clothing underneath. One of the girls took off some chunky light brown sandals, and asked where her "wide shoes" were. I put on the sandals she took off, first making sure they weren't the "wide" shoes; their size said something like 7/6 or 7/8, but no "W" to indicate that they were wide. They were kind of wide on my feet, but fit well otherwise. I knew that one of the girls was excited to sing; they seemed very happy, and were going on about it.

I was then walking back down the long hallway, free of my uniform. I felt lighter without it on. I looked down at the light brown sandals as I walked.

I was then behind the counter making a sandwich for a little girl. As she came up to me, I didn't say anything. She spouted off her order. I cut the bread pretty easily. This was what I had signed up to do, not run around and do some weird choir thing too; I was supposed to be making sandwiches! But I realized that I didn't want to be there either. I started putting some gloves on; they were small, and hard to get on my hands. I debated just walking out.

Oddly enough, I loved choir in high school, and would love to be in a choir now if I could.

The sandwich job though, I fucking hated it. Just for the record.

Dream - Lucid

I remember being outside at night with my friend Dakota. Someone else was there too, but I can't remember who. We were having to fight zombies. It was like a video game, where we had to kill these different types of zombies in one level to get to the next one. In this level, one of the first levels (there were 1 or 2 before this one), there were 3 different types of zombies to kill, each type deadlier and harder to kill than the last, and we only had a limited amount of ammo.

I remember before we went out into the level (we were just hanging out behind something so the zombies wouldn't see us), I was telling Dakota about what I did in the previous level (Dakota had gone through it already; he was at this level way before me). It had a beach on it, and I told him that after killing a few zombies, I laid down on the beach. If zombies came up after that, I'd just take them out. That level really wasn't that hard compared to the one we were in now.

I remember seeing, at some point, Dakota or the other person that was with us, fighting with someone's mom, I don't remember if it was Dakota's mom or the other guy's mom. But they were arguing about when they had to be home by.

Alright, back to the zombies. First, I remember talking to Dakota about what would happen if we lost all our lives. I asked him something about if we'd just come back or if we'd really die. He said if we lost all of our lives, we'd really die. It was real life, after all.

We decided to go out and kill some zombies. We went out from behind our little area. The zombies started to come out. We were shooting down the easier ones to kill. Not too bad, but then we got to the last ones. They didn't look like zombies, but more like almost invisible aliens with this big blue light streak going horizontally through their mid-sections. Dakota was telling me to shoot them, trying to instruct me what to do. I was trying to take one down, but he kept hitting me. I finally ran out of ammo and then energy, and died. I thought I was dying for real, because I thought it was my last life. But then, I was back where we started, sitting behind something with Dakota. We had been so close to completing the level!

I remember coming out from behind our little area a few times and killing off the easier zombies. Those crazy alien-like ones were really difficult to kill, and were very aggressive. We were trying to prepare ourselves for that.