One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy

Auditory hallucinations draw me into this WILD.

I hear voices to my right. It sounds like my old roommate Hugh. There's another unfamiliar voice. I guess that Hugh is giving this other man a job interview, something about accounting. Then I hear voices to my left. I conjure the feeling that I am in my bedroom in the Daisetta house. The voices outside are talking about... Led Zepplin? I dunno. I focus on the voices and they draw me into the dream.

Bam! I'm outside in a bright and vivid summer day. I'm in a suburban backyard. The grass is a brilliant shade of green beneath my feet. The house is somewhat like Daisetta. Around the yard are trees and power lines. There are three people around me. I intuit they were the voices outside. They are two boys and a girl. They look high school age and are dressed in gym clothes with blue shirts and white cotton shorts. I look down and see I am wearing the same thing. They are looking at me like I'm their teacher. But I'm not really interested in them. I had a plan in mind but this environment doesn't suit it. So I decide to just have some fun.

I look up. Time to fly. I now become aware of a few flying objects. They look like flying cars. I jump and zoom up to the nearest one. It seems to be an unmanned drone, about the size of large trash can. It has a Star Wars Tatooine look to it; futuristic but at the same time rusted and worn. I grab it and spin and throw it up toward another drone and the two crash and fall. Ha!
Then I am distracted by an unpleasant feeling in my throat, like a dry heave. I snap back to my waking body. At least I think this portion was waking, but I might have been still dreaming. I feel the urge to cough. I swallow and move my neck slightly and I feel okay. I DEILD back into the dream.

I fly up higher and look down to get a sense of the landscape. I'm hovering over a wide dry riverbed that is overgrown with moss and small bushes. On either side of the riverbed there's suburban homes. This reminds me of the creek behind the Redmond house. Down in the riverbed I see a large creature. About the size of a walrus but more like a beached whale in appearance. It is very blubberly. I zoom down and try to lift it. It is heavy but I manage to get it over my head. I throw it up into the air and hovers for a bit, then slowly and gently falls back to the ground. I then take a closer look, trying to figure out what exactly this creature is.

I snap back to my waking body again. I'm either still dreaming or in some deep hypnopompic state. I hear voices to my right, as I had in the earlier hypnogogia. It's Hugh again. I intuit that he is talking on the phone to his boss about the job interview candidate. He says, "He had the three wisdoms but didn't know his mathematical formulas. That's just memorization though. He's a bright candidate." I'm listening to this while remaining still, hoping to DEILD again. He ends the phone call and I hear footsteps toward my bedroom room, which is to the right, like my current apartment. I hear the door open and Hugh says "Are you there?" I feel the weight on my bed shift and a foot near my head. I think, maybe Hugh has something urgent so I should wake up.

I snap out of hypnopompia and realize I don't live with a roommate anymore. D'oh.

I'm getting a little annoyed with my mother and sister appearing in my dreams lately. They are boring and annoying.

I'm in an unfamiliar bedroom. I see a strange machine in the room. I intuit that it was installed over night as I slept. The machine is mounted on the wall at eye level. It looks like an X-ray machine in a doctor's office. It has an arm that extends out in any direction. At the end of the arm is something that looks like a camera, but it blows out air. I examine the controls and figure out that it's a heater/air conditioner. I turn it on and learn that it has a motion sensor. It detects me and the arm extends and follows me around the room, blowing cold air on me to cool me down. I think this is quite ingenious except that the air follows too close for comfort. Like a person staring too close.

Then I notice that the machine is mounted on a chest of drawers. The chests seems damaged under the weight of the machine and the mounting is blocking the drawers from opening. The furniture is painted white with bright red drawers and round metal handles. I remark that the workmen must have been sloppy to install the machine where it is blocking the drawers. I move the machine off so that I can open the drawers.

Inside the drawers I find a bunch of old stuff; bools, journals, and trinkets. I suppose it belongs to the family but I don't recognized any of it. I sift through it, reading some of the journals. Then my mother and sister enter (groan). They start going through the stuff as well. The sunlight is brighter now. I see a hot dog covered with mayonaise. I think to take it to the kitchen to add ketchup and mustard, but I'm hungry so I just chow down on it right there. My sister and I exchange some passive-aggressive banter per usual. She calls herself a "life-ist." I call her judgemental.

Now it seems it's getting dark. My mother and sister leave. I find on the other side of this bedroom a door to the front porch. It looks like the door of a convenience store. All glass and a wide bar handle that you push to open. Since it's getting dark, I look for the lock to secure the house for the night. There's a odd metal basket near the door lock. I intuit that it is to hold keys and change. Then a see a man just outside the door. He runs to the door and starts banging and screaming. I'm startled and wake up.

Working on getting my recall back up. I think I had at least 3 dreams this night. The lucid is the only one can recall now.

Flying, Office, False Awakenings
Method DILD (false awakening)
Lucidity C
Vividness B
Control B
False awakening. I hear the voice of Collin, an old friend who I haven't seen in years. That can't be. I sense that I am in my bedroom from the Daisetta house. I must be dreaming. It's dark. I try to get up but my body seems paralyzed. I can tilt my head enough to look at my hands. I can rub them. I still seem paralyzed, but then dream time skips a few seconds. Now I'm standing in the hallway outside the bedroom and I can move freely. I walk toward the living room where some lights are on. I hear my mother's voice. Wait. I realize my vision is blurry. I turn back toward the bedroom with the intent of finding my glasses. Collin is behind me and he is holding my glasses. I take them from him, put them on, and now my vision is clear (I love that trick).

I walk out to the backyard, ignoring my mother and Collin. It's dark and very foggy outside. I hop up on the picnic table and launch into the air. I fly straight up about 20 stories and then stop hover and look down to get my bearings. The many houses and street lamps glow dimly in the dense fog. I want to fly to my office. I look south-east to the horizon and see dim lights of a large building. That must be it (IWL, it's much further than that) I fly Superman-style toward the buliding, willing myself to go as fast as I can. I arrive, land outside, and burst through the door with great momentum.

I slow down to see where I have arrived. Entering the main door, the interior doesn't look like my office as I expected. It just looks like a long corridor with generic office suites on either side. More like a prison (which, actually, is still an apt description of work). Not discouraged, I wander down the corridor and follow it a few turns. I turn one corner and am surprised to see my office lobby. Cool! Now I follow the real layout of the office toward RH's room. The office furniture looks very different. The chairs are dark brown wicker and there are big leafy fern plants. It's looks like the decor of a hotel in the Caribbean. RH isn't in her office. Next door, I hear her neighbor's voice saying that RH left.

I give up on RH and look through the rest of the office. I peek over the cubical walls, looking for someone I recognize. Then I jump and balance on top of the cubical wall for an easier view. "Where is BG?" I say aloud. She isn't at her desk. I hear a voice say, "She moved to a new seat." I turn around and see a reception desk that doesn't exist IWL. BG is bent over under the desk, pulling out something. "I'm here!" she says. She stands up and I jump from the cubical wall to land in front of her. It doesn't really look like her, which is a bit disappointing. She is wearing a black dress and her hair is black and styled up. I say hello and grab her hand, so as to lead her around the office as I look for more recognizable people.

Now the dream changes abruptly into another false awakening. I'm laying on a bed. It's light. I look down and I am naked and with no blanket. In the room I see four people who look like old hillbillies. They are dressed in plaid shirts and denim overalls. They look at me and start to walk toward me, very slowly like zombies. Ugh, I don't want to be here.

Dream skips again into another false awakening. I am in my own bed. I tilt my head back and my body starts to sink into the bed.

One more awakening, this time for real.

I'm still sick so I've been less diligent about taking notes. On the flip side, I'm getting a bit better at remembering dreams without notes.

Waves
Something about oceans waves. I think I'm discussing the science of waves with my sister. And the difference between waves and tides. Or something.

fragment
I know there was a dream in here. Maybe something about my sister.

Summer School
Why is this a recurring dream theme for me? I never took summer classes in my life. I've returned to my mother's house for the summer and I am attending classes in my old high school. I only have two changes of clothes, so I wear them over and over again. I am in a classroom with many of my high school classmates and my high school US history teacher. We are all seated at computers like a computer lab. I am and the end of the back row, at the farthest point in the room from the teacher. I'm trying to change the desktop background on my computer.

Then I am back at my mother's house, looking at my clothes in the closet. I think to go back to my apartment downtown for the weekend so I can pick up so more clothes and collect the mail.

Action Figure Fragment
Something about dolls and action figures used to annoy people. Like people would pass by on the street and I would hold out a doll and pretend to speak in its voice. For some reason, I think this is popular on the Internet.

"Hello, Dream!"
Method DILD (?)
Lucidity B
Vividness B
Control C
Not sure about the beginning. I recall being in a dark room with my eyes closed, trying to sleep. I hear an Indian man's voice. He is talking on the phone to his son. The son is asking for something. The father is saying something like "If you paint the lawn, then I'll get you what you want" and "Ask your mother what she thinks." I think: Paint the lawn? Do they paint their lawns in India?

But so I'm laying with my eyes closed and I feel like I'm falling asleep. I am trying to incubate a certain dream. But in my vision I see a different scene start to materialize, so I switch to concentrating on that scene. At this point, I might have really been awake, like a DEILD. Or I might have been dreaming of WILDing, but really a DILD. Either way, I transition into a new dream scene like a WILD.

I snap into the scene and I am lucid. I am in the living room of the Daisetta house, looking out the sliding glass door to the backyard. My vision is a bit blurry. I reach next to me. There is an ironing board randomly in the middle of the room. There are my glasses. I put them on and my vision turns sharp and more vivid. The colors outside also change slightly from bright blue daylight to an almost surreal yellow-orangeish sky. I step outside to the backyard.

I look around. The scene seems familiar, but it's actually nothing like the real backyard of the Daisetta house. The backyard is small and surround by a fence. There are tropical plants everywhere. It's beautiful. There are no people. Not sure what to do, I speak loudly: "Hello, dream!" There's a slight echo. Nothing happens, but it feels good to yell and hear my voice so clearly. Then I think of something from Waggoner's book: "All thought-forms must disappear!" Nothing happens. Hmm, maybe these aren't thought-forms?

I look around again. One corner of the backyard has changed. Now it's open. I hop over a small planter where there is a gap between two bushes. Now I seem to be in the open parking area of an apartment complex. This reminds me of SAV, where I lived in my childhood years. I wake up.

Transformer Fragment
I'm some kind of robot. My ex-girlfriend Jen is also a robot. We are on some special mission together where I have to protect her.

Had other dreams but didn't write them down because I was focusing on the WILD.

Edit: I now recall more of dream before the incubated scene.

Flying, Teleporting, Hot Tub Revisited
Method WILD
Lucidity C
Vividness B
Control B
Once again, I visualize the hot tub scene. I plan to return to this scene several times as I practice my first few WILDs. It's such a vivid memory for me. I visualize being in a friend's backyard a few steps from their hot tub. It's a party with a bunch of high school friends but mostly I am focused on the two girls in the hot tub who waiting for me. I concentrate on the blueness of the water and the silhouettes of the two people sitting in the hot tub.

I transition into dreaming but I am not in the incubated scene. I am outside and it is very dark. I think I am in an alley surrounded by tall buildings. I start flying to figure out where I am. I slowly float up above the buildings and see the cityscape around me. It's still almost pitch black. I see the outline of buildings as faint silver lines. I also see a few spots of color of neon signs. I practice flying a bit. I try to fly standing upright instead of laying out with my arms stretched, Superman-style. I don't see any people or movement so it feels kinda lonely. I practice throwing fireballs and sonic booms. They seem dim and silvery, like the outlines of the buildings.

Now I look upward, hoping to see stars or the moon. But there is just empty blackness. This disorients me and, when I look down again, the city is gone and I am surrounded by blackness. It's not scary though. I think to just fly to a new scene. I recall my visualization of the blueness of the hot tub. I think of that and start flying forward. Soon it seems I am going through a tunnel with the scene at the other end.

Then tada! I am there, in my incubated scene. It's still dark of night, but somewhat lit. It seems to be lit by some of those tiki torch things that people put in their yards. Once again, it's my own backyard instead of the girl's who is hosting the party. I look at my hands. The fingers on the right hand are long and distorted. Cool. I step down into the hot tub and sit between the two girls. I look to the one on my right, Sara. I put my arms around her and appreciate how real she feels. I look at her face. She gives me a big smile. She actually looks like someone else that I recognize, not Sara. I start to turn to look at the other girl but my body goes stiff. I try to look at my hands but the dream quickly fades. Tried to DEILD but no luck this time.

This was last Thursday while I was out of town. This was my first successful WILD using the common sleep paralysis technique. I've had DEILDs and I think an accidental WILD once. But this was the first using this technique. Some interesting notes:

- I've been attempting WILD on and off for about 3 months. Probably about 20-25 attempts.
- I was out of town in a hotel room instead of my normal bed. It's the first time I've slept in a different bed in quite some time.
- This was the night of Thanksgiving holiday, so I had a very large meal for dinner, but no alcohol.
- I went to bed early, compared to my normal schedule.
- The WILD happened after about 7 hours of sleep.
- I had other dreams before in the same night, but I didn't have my dream journal with me so I couldn't write them down or recall them.

The Hot Tub
Method WILD, DEILD
Lucidity C
Vividness C
Control C
Awoke naturally after a dream around 7am, decided to try to WILD. I lay still on my back for about 10 minutes and felt some sleep paralysis. Changed position to my side and let my mind wander. After a few minutes, I felt sleep paralysis again and then a strange feeling in my head. It's like when you are really really tired and you feel a swell of tiredness in your head that makes you close your eyes and droop your head suddenly. This was my cue to start visualizing. I had a scene in mind, one that I've been trying to incubate for a long time.

This is real memory from when I was about 15 years old. I'm at a party with a bunch of high school friends in a girl's backyard. They have a pool and a hot tub. I visualize standing a few feet from the hot tub, looking down into the blueness of the water. There are two girls in the pool wearing bikinis. Mostly, I am trying to focus on the blue blob of the water and the dark silhouettes of the two people sitting in it. I start to see the blueness in the hypnagogic hallucination.

I transition into the scene as if through a tunnel with a blue light at the end. I am in the scene and I know I am dreaming. The scene is a bit wrong. It's my own backyard instead of the girl's. And the girls are sitting in reversed positions as compared to how I visualized it. But it's pretty much what I was trying to incubate. I can't move though and I still feel my physical body. I wait patiently and the dream gets a bit clearer. I look at the two girls, now on either side of me. I am excited that I've gotten this far. But now the two girls start arguing with each other. Something about getting your own job instead of working for your father. I'm surprised. I don't know where this dialogue came from. The dream fades.

Now awake, but I can DEILD. I try to visualize the blue water again for a few moments. Then I am reminded that I am laying in bed, so my hallucinations change. I am in a bed with white sheets with the two girls instead of in the hot tub. It's pleasant but I try to concentrate back on the blueness of the water. I re-enter the hot tub scene and wait for it to solidify. I am calmer now. I am able to look around and appreciate the scene. It's bright daylight. I look at one girl and feel her skin. I look at the texture of her brown hair. I am aware that I am sitting in the water, but I don't quite "feel" the wetness. I try to focus on my body to feel the water. The dream fades again.

Decent night. Working on building my recall and discipline back up.

The Girl Moves Out
1122: A very emotionally charged and memorable non-lucid. I live in the Daisetta house. My roommate is S, a former coworker girl from real life, with whom I had a very brief and destructive romantic relationship. That experience was about a year ago and we've never spoken since. So in the dream, she lives in my house. Her room is next to mine. It's nighttime. I walk into her room. She is watching TV. There are a a few piles of laundry waiting to be folded. On top of the clothing, a couple of cats are hanging out too. I sit and watch TV with her for a while. Her and I seem to quietly accept each other's company. She doesn't freak out or act upset like I am afraid she will. We are actually having a good time hanging out together.

Then she leaves the room, I expect her to be right back. Maybe she went to the bathroom or to the kitchen. But time fast-forwards an hour or so and she hasn't returned. I walk out of the room and around the house looking for her. I run in to a strange man who startles me. I ask: "What are you doing here?!" He replies: "I'm one of the movers." Oh. I realize that S is moving all her stuff out. I walk out and find her in the backyard. We have this exchange:

Me: What's going on?
S: I'm moving out.
Me: But I thought things between us were just starting to be okay again.
S: (shakes her head)
Me: So you're really leaving? You know I'm sorry....

She walks away and back to her room. I stand still for a moment. I am crushed. But at the same time I realize this was inevitable. I probably deserve it. I follow her back to her room. She is packing up things. I start to help her. We have this quiet moment where I sense we are both sad but also realize this is for the best. Soon, she's ready to go. I walk with her to the front door. At the last moment, she turns to me, looks me in the eyes and asks: "Why?" I know what she means. All I can say is: "I don't know. I guess... I just really really really liked you. Too much, I suppose."

She gives me an understanding smile. She lets me kiss her on the cheek. We have one of those I-can't-believe-this-is-really-goodbye-forever moments. Then she turns and walks out to the street where a taxi is waiting. I close the door and reflect on what happened.

Then I think I wake up for real. But my mind is still really wrapped up in the dream, so I continue in a daydream, which seems obvious because of how the plot changes from something natural to something artificial and movie-like. I'm still standing just inside the front door, reflecting on all that is happened. I miss her. I don't want her to go. But I also feel guilty and ashamed. Then I hear the door bell ring. I open the door and there is S. Her face is full of anticipation, like she's about to burst. She says "I really really really like you too!" And she kisses me passionately. End. I suppose that's how I'd like it to end, but it didn't seem satisfying. It didn't seem genuine.

fragment
School field trip to a secluded private park. Trying to watch birds mating. Most people are off playing football. I ask if they are playing a real game but they are just tossing the ball around like 3-flags up. I join and throw a few times. My throw is really weak.

Umm... Yeah... I think I'm dreaming
Method DILD (absurdity)
1237: I'm coming home from work. I'm walking along a bike path. I stop at a public restroom. I walk up to a urinal. I look down and I have two penises, one lined up above the other. Oh, I really must be dreaming. I nose-pinch and I can breath. But I wake up immediately.

Dysfunctional TV Family
1346: Watching TV show on VHS tapes, on the big screen TV from the Daisetta house. The show is about a family with 2 daughters and a son. I think the parent is a single mom. The oldest daughter just finished high school. She had to take summer school classes to finish. The son drinks. The youngest daughter is a bratty and rebellious teen. In one scene, I sense I am in the car with the mom. We are in a grocery store parking lot. She backs out and then goes in reverse all the way out to the street. So we're driving down the street in reverse. Then she brakes and turns hard. The car starts to skid around and ends up going straight forward on the street. But it's a one lane street in both directions and we narrowly miss hitting an oncoming car.

Now I'm back in the house, watching the show again on TV. I am worried that it's getting late and I need to leave soon. I look and see several clocks. On on the TV, one on the VCR, and a couple other alarm clocks on top of the TV. They all show different times. I don't know which one to believe. So I leave the room to find a clock I can trust. End.

Been out of practice for most of the week. I can see my dream recall suffering. This was a good night though.

Practice RCs, Dream Guide
Method DILD (prospective memory)
Lucidity B
Vividness C
Control B
0626: I don't recall the beginning very well. I'm laying on a bed. My roommate is in the room. I push off a bunch of small wood blocks from the bed and they fall on the floor noisily. Then I pull the covers over me and my roommate leaves the room. I don't know why, but I remind myself to do a reality check. I nose-plug once and don't believe it. I do it again and now realize I am lucid. I remember my plan: do nothing, practice reality checks, let my dream guide find me.

I walk out of the room. I now seem to be in the Daisetta house. I walk out to the backyard and then around to the side of the house. I try a list of RCs. Many of these I've rarely or never done so I wanted to experience what they were like in a dream:

Nose-plug: I can breathe.
Count fingers: I have double-vision as I look at my hands but I still count 10 fingers.
Finger through palm: doesn't work.
Memory: I couldn't recall how I got to this house.

The next few needed some objects, so I walked back inside the house to the kitchen.

Clock: numbers were changing crazily, and I could will them to change.
Text: for double-spaced lines, the text seemed normal. Fsingle-spaced lines, it started to dance and look crazy. But for both I don't recall actually reading or remembering the words.
Light switch: I notice the light turn on and off but the light level doesn't really change. But there was also sunlight coming through the window so I wouldn't expect a lamp to make much difference.

Cool, that was interesting. Now what. I notice my roommate in the house, so I decide to will him to leave. I look at him and imagine that he is about to leave for work. He does starting moving toward the front door and out to a car in the driveway. I follow him with my eyes and my will all the way until he is gone.

Then I recall the bit about letting my dream guide find me. On cue, the door bell rings. I open it and a man enters. He's maybe 35, slightly overweight, with tan skin, black hair, and a goatee mustache. I don't recognize him, nor is he very impressive. He just looks like a random guy. In his hands, he has a brown paper bag. From the bag, he pulls out a candle which he presents to me like a gift. He says something like "Here's something that helps others in your situation." I try to interpret what that means but don't get it. He opens the bag and shows me what else is in there: a bottle of sake and a fried rice cracker treat that you might get at a Japanese restaurant or market. I'm trying to figure out what these things could mean and I wonder if this guy is really my dream guide.

The door bell rings again. This time, it's another man, a bit older than the last, with pale skin and a cleanly shaved face. He's wearing a blue business casual shirt and slacks. I imagine he is an accountant and I vaguely recognize him as a type actor who plays small parts in TV shows and commercials. He doesn't say anything. I look at him and back at the other man. Confused. Not sure what to make of this. Dream ends.

New AA At Work
1207: Living with my mother. New work office. I sense that my work is a TV show and we've started a new season with some new characters and a new setting. There's a new administrative assistant who is an attractive blond woman who reminds me of an actress. I need to fill in a overtime paycheck request form. I do this and give it to the woman. She checks and and sees I forget the date at the top. I take it back and realize I've filled the whole thing in pencil but it should be in pen. I feel embarassed.

Complaining About The Team
0144: In a dark office with Lance. It's raining outside. We are talking about the company football team. The quarterback was replaced by C and we are joking about how bad he is. He can't throw a spiral. Lance finds a radio broadcast of the game on the internet. Our team is losing. Now it seems to be college football instead of the company. We talk about what are team should do. Now it seems to be Starcraft instead of football. Lance says all they do it mass tier one units. I suggest something tricky like a DT rush.

Didn't write any notes but have some recall from memory. Before bed, a hot bath and 3mg melatonin.

Pizza Craving Fragment
I am in the Daisetta house. It's very early morning and everyone is still asleep. I am craving pizza. I get up and find 3 odd pieces of pizza, all different kinds and brands. I stick all three in the microwave, being careful not to make any noise.

College Library, Lame Pick-Up
Method DILD (spontaneous)
Lucidity D
Vividness C
Control C
I'm in a nice building with marble walls and floors. I want to find the bathroom. I'm in a lobby, waiting for the elevator to take me to the ground floor where I believe there is a bathroom. There's a security guard here in the lobby. A man in a wheelchair comes out of a room and moves toward the elevator. The security guard says something really rude to this man about not taking the stairs because he is in a wheelchair.

I get on the elevator and there are a few other DCs in there. I ride it up and down a few floors. It never stops at the floor I want it too. Then some young DC hits the sideways button and the elevator goes sideways. Frustrated, I get off. I seem to have forgotten about the bathroom. Now the building I am in seems more like an old college library. The walls are wood-paneled and the lights are dim. There are many DCs here who look about the age of college students. There's a line of people at a customer service desk. At the desk is an old librarian lady who points me out and says "Excuse me, have you been helped?" I don't want to talk to her so I just walk away toward a wide stairway. I overhear a conversation between two girls. They are trying to decide on a book that interests them to read.

I walk up the stairs and into a big room full of bookcases. The walls are all full-length windows so the whole room is lit by the afternoon sunlight. It's a pretty cool looking room. There are a few DCs sitting quietly at tables around the room. In one corner is a bed. So I lay down to sleep. Maybe I have a false awakening. The next thing I know, a doctor and a nurse are standing over me. The doctor is a middle-aged balding man with a while lab coat. He asks "Have you been treated? What is the problem?" I say there's nothing wrong and I just wanted to sleep. Then then start tucking in my blankets. I close my eyes again and maybe have another false awakening.

When I open my eyes, I'm in the same library but the doctor is gone. Very close to my bed is a table with some DCs, studying I suppose. Then there is a commotion as people rush to one of the windows. I get up and look too. Out the window, I see that I'm on about the third floor, looking down over the center square of a college campus. There's a grassy lawn and some walkways and more brick buildings. There are lots of DCs walking every which way. The people who rushed to the window are pointing out "The Fat Man" who is a really fat guy known throughout campus. I see him and he's quite obese but not as fat as I expected.

Unimpressed, I step back from the window and think for a moment, starting to become pre-lucid. I have this little dialog with myself: Hmm, what should I do now? I feel like having sex. If I were dreaming, I could have sex with anyone with no consequences. So I have to find out if I am dreaming. I nose-plug RC and confirm I am dreaming. So now I'm lucid but don't stop to stabilize or remember my goals.

I run down the stairway and out the building into the square. I approach the first girl I see. She is bonde and about 18 years old. She's not super attractive but I'm not choosy at this point. I grab her hand and start leading her off to the left. "Do you like to party?" I ask (what a stupid line...). She says something to the effect "Umm, yeah I guess." I'm leading toward another building. I say "We're going to this party and all my friends are there and you'll have so much fun and meet some cool people." Just before we reach the building, she stops and pulls her hand back. She says she changed her mind and doesn't want to go with me. I am disappointed. Dream ends.

I think I actually had 9 dreams or more. Late in the night, I was having really short cycles, about 15-30 minutes each. After a few, I realized I should try to DEILD chain them and then succeeded in having 2 lucids. But I didn't write anything down so my recall of the lucids to spotty and some of the non-lucids in between are lost.

Also, one of my best nights on Zeo. Scored 92. 8h 54m total sleep with 3h 37m in REM.

The Pink Dress
0914: C. Cycle 3 dream. It's Halloween or close to it. I'm in the Daisetta house. I'm arguing with my sister about something. I walk outside and lay on some couch cushions at the street curb. One of the neighbors is a an attractive young woman. An ex-girlfriend? She's dressed in a hot pink party dress with black trim and sunglasses. I thought of Marilyn Monroe. I guess it's a Halloween costume. She's walking around me, as if trying to arouse me or make me jealous. She has a younger sister of about 10 years who is also in a dress and is mimicking her older sister. The little girl is stumbling around in high heels and it's kinda funny. At one point, the little girls says "I just ate my burning bush." The older girl and I both laugh.

WBTB, 10 minutes

Family, TV Show
1025: D. Jumpy. Not sure of the order here. Sharing a room with my sister. I am folding laundry. She has written on a dry-erase board: "DO PIANO." She says something to my mother about Tai Chi. Watching the Jay Leno show. In the audience are a bunch of women from the army. They play 20 questions with the male actor guest. I recognized him but can't think of his name. In the dream, they call him "Clausen."

Sleazy Game Show Director
1111: C. No dreambody for me. Just watching like a movie. Two twin teenage girls wandering in the middle of nowhere. They hear voices coming from an abandoned warehouse. Inside, they find what looks like the filming set of a television game show. But all the people are just cardboard cutouts. There's only one real man who is "directing" this strange show. He's really sleazy. The girls approach him and he tries to convince them to appear on camera.

fragment
1130: D. This is where the really short dreams started. Man has a book of jokes. He's reading them aloud and laughing. In the floor are grooves on in the grooves are marbles. So you can place a chair on the marbles and slide it around.

Mocking Note-Taking
1145: C. I'm in my own bedroom with friends H, B, and D. H is explaining something. My television screen has been unplugged and moved on to my desk. I have a pen and am pretending to take notes on what H is saying on the palm of my hand. I'm trying to make B and D laugh. The conversation gets sidetracked by my prank and H is interrupted.

First Lucid, Angry
Method DILD (prospective memory)
Lucidity C
Control D
Vividness C
I am in the bedroom of the Daisetta house. H is also here with a bunch of other DCs who I suppose are his friends. I don't know them but we are all hanging out and it's cool. I am wearing pajamas and at some point I rip my pants. The DCs all tease me and I get really embarrassed and angry. I storm off to the kitchen and sit in a chair to stew in my anger. Occasionally, the DCs would pass by on their way to the fridge and would tease me more. As I'm thinking, I remember my intention to become lucid and become lucid. I nose-plug RC. Then I grab one of the mean DCs, lift him up, and throw him out the front door. I do this with a couple other of the DCs. Now everyone is upset at me. I walk outside. It's dark of night. The street is lit with the red and blue flashing lights of police cars. Dream fades.

there were some short non-lucids in between here, but I can't recall any details

Second Lucid, Task Attempts
Method DEILD
Lucidity C
Control C
Vividness C
From a non-lucid, I DEILD into this one. I was trying to re-enter the scene from the earlier lucid. The scene ended up being similar but not the same. I'm on a dark street in a residential neighborhood. Across the street is a gas station. I try to remember my goal for today. I was actually summon a bunch of my friends and have a party. But in this dream, all I remembered was to try summoning. So I try summoning S from work with the turn-around technique. I try and fail several times. Then I think to call her. I don't have my phone. I walk to the convenience store in the gas station, hoping to buy a prepaid cell phone. There are two attendants inside. They are arguing over something. I'm reminded of a scene from the movie Encino Man (wow that was a long time ago). I get impatient and just steal one of their personal cell phones. I don't actually know S's phone number so I just dial a bunch of random numbers. It rings and goes to her voice mail. Her outgoing message is weird. Half way through it, I start to will the message to be more personal. At the end she says "I love you." Not very satisfying.

I decide to do something else. Many of my recent lucids have been kinda weak and unfocused like this. I walk through the neighborhood and find a group of DCs sitting in what looks like a line of roller coaster cars. But they are just on the ground on the sidewalk. I talk to one pair of women. I think they are in their 30s. One has long black hair and is wearing a blue blouse. I don't remember what we talked about. Here, lucidity fades and I don't recall any more of the dream.

a few more short non-lucids that I don't recall anything detail about

Was exhausted this night. Got home and took a hot bath. I don't even remember laying down in bed. Apparently, I went to bed without my Zeo, eye mask, ear plugs, and without setting my dream journal next to my pillow. So I didn't write these dreams down and didn't note the times.

Internet Cafe
I'm in a quiet room filled with desks and computers. It seems like a library or internet cafe. The desks are cheap plastic and the chairs are folding chairs. My roommate is here and there are maybe just 2-3 other random DCs. I brought my roommate here because he needs to use a computer for something. He was skeptical, but now that we are here, he's finds it useful. Meanwhile, I'm on a computer browsing forums. I stand up and go to a different computer so I can read a different forum. I think that this place could actually make money if it advertised itself as an internet cafe.

Trains, Sex
Method DILD (dreamsign)
Lucidity C
Control D
Vividness C
I'm near a train station. It's reminiscent of the ones I used to use around Los Angeles. I'm in a hurry, running toward the station. I notice the stairways are changing color. The one I'm running toward turns blue. I interpret this to mean the train is arriving soon. I'm just in time and the train arrives. I hop on without buying a ticket. (I once did this by accident, got caught, and had to pay the fine) But I see an attendant checking tickets. She is an old lady. I hop off, buy a ticket, get back on and show it to her. I have to sign my name on it for some reason. Then I drop it in a shoe box with the others.

So now the train is moving. I'm sitting facing inward. The train is about a quarter filled with DCs. I look around and try to imagine what the people are thinking, like I used to do to past the time when I rode the train. I notice several young women on the train staring at me seductively. This has been a fairly reliable dreamsign. OK, I'm lucid. Oops, no reality checks or goals. My control is low. I get up and approach the woman sitting across from me. She is attractive with reddish-brown hair, a red sweater, jeans, and obnoxiously large sunglasses. She gets up too. We have sex. At one point, I put my hand on the back of her head and feel that her hair is now a very short buzz cut. The sex lasts for a satisfying few minutes until the dream fades.

Summoning, Flying, Legos on the Moon
Method DEILD
Lucidity B
Control C
Vividness B
I think this was a DEILD from another non-lucid that I don't recall. I was lucid from the beginning. I start with a false awakening. I'm in the family room of the Daisetta house. It's a large room and I'm alone, laying on the carpeted floor under some bed covers. I think of what to do. I still have sex on the brain so I decide to try summoning a girl. Rachel is the target. My mother walks in to tell me that someone has come to visit. I ask who. I don't recall who she said, but it's not Rachel. I try to roll with the punch. I say to my mother "Oh, will you tell me when Rachel arrives?" She acknowledges and leaves. Moments later, my mother walks back in to say someone else has arrived. "Is it Rachel?" "No, it's your friend from work." I stand up and walk out of the room toward the entryway. It turns out to be Nate, a former coworker. Ugh, this isn't working.

I march out of the house, determined to do something else but I'm not sure what. I rub my hands and look around the neighborhood. It's bright and sunny and it's at this point that I appreciate the vividness. Cool. I start flying and look at the landscape below. I'm having trouble turning again. (I now realize this is my mind obeying the laws of physics and inertia, I'll have to work on that.) I'm drifting toward a hillside. I try to turn but I keep drifting and bumping into the hill. Frustrated, I think I should try something more specific. The moon! I look upward and start flying straight up. Now I have no trouble getting speed.

I'm quickly out of the atmosphere and the ambient light disappears into a starry universe. This is my first time in outer space. I see the moon. It's gray but on it I can see colorful mountains. I think perhaps the moon has become a giant trash heap? Then I miss the moon. Yup, I'm going so fast that I miss and zoom past it. This is kinda scary for a moment because all I see around me is open space. I manage to turn around. Now I can see the Earth and the moon again. I circle around the moon a bit, carefully trying to line up.

Finally, I land on the gray surface. The colorful mountains I saw from far away are actually buildings made of giant Lego blocks. I look around a bit for people from DV. But I don't see anyone. I find myself next to a gray castle-like building. At the entrance is a metal gate that looks like a jail cell. Inside is a dragon made of Legos. He is gray, like the moon surface, except for the yellow accent of the scales on his back, his wing-like ears, and his nostrils. He says in a deep rumbling voice: "Intruder!" I remain calm. I explain that I'm an explorer. He becomes friendly. I talk to the dragon for a bit. I forget about what. At this point, the dream was fading.

Unusual circumstances on this night. Took B-Complex in the evening, about 5 hours before sleep. Didn't get to sleep until I was really tired. Woke up after just 3 hours of sleep to drive roommate to the airport. Was out of bed for about an hour total. Returned to sleep and had the lucid, technically in my third sleep cycle. The rest of the dreams were all very random, but more exciting then my usual boring dreams.

Rooms, Sprinklers, Flying
Lucidity C
Vividness B
Control D
0730: The beginning is jumpy and difficult to recall. I don't seem to have a dreambody, I'm just watching like a movie. It's in a house at a fancy dinner party. A few old people are talking about arranging to meet at a restaurant or country club. Then it's like a commercial. A young woman in a formal dress and hair styling peeks into the room and recommends watching a TV show. Someone asks, which TV show... Buffy? Then I recognize the girl as Alyson Hannigan from that show.

At some point, I sense that I have a dreambody and I am in the house alone. But maybe it has changed into my work office? I step into a room with tall windows all along the far wall. Sunlight is shining brightly through. The floor is grass instead of carpet! The grass is overgrown and spotted with weeds. I think to myself that someone in the office should maintain the grass. I think the new employee should have to do it as an initiation.

I walk out the side door of this room. It leads outdoors and now I am in the side yard of my old house on Daisetta. It's a narrow concrete strip that leads to the backyard. I walk to the backyard and it's fairly familiar. Except there are a row of short fake palm trees lining the lawn. They have big plastic bananas hanging from them and I think it looks really tacky. The sprinklers are on and they are really strong. The water shoots about 6 feet high and is soaking the whole yard, not just the grass. I start to think this is weird. But I don't want to get wet so I turn and run back into the door I came out of. In the Daisetta house, this should be the garage but it's still the room with grass. I notice the size of the room is about right for the garage though. Now sprinklers are on in here too! Ok, I really must be dreaming and I tell myself to do a reality check. I run through one more door to be out of the water.

I plug my nose and confirm I'm dreaming. Yay! I remember that it's been a long time since being lucid. I had a scene in mind but I'm not sure how to get there from here, so I go outside and just start flying toward the horizon. But my flying sucks! I can only hover a few feet off the ground and move very slow. Then I remember one of my cues to invoke the Superman schema: Lois Lane is in trouble and I have to save her! My flying gets a bit better. I'm flying faster and higher but still not great. I try to focus on where I am going. On the horizon, I see an ominous factory on top of a mountain. Lois must be trapped inside! Smoke is billowing out. Then I see an explosion. I sense the urgency and danger and try to fly faster. But it seems so far away. Discouraged, the dream fades.

Family and Old Acquaintances
0849: C. Very jumpy and random. At Daisetta house with the whole family. Mother hands me a book about politeness and etiquette. She says my father read it but doesn't follow it. I'm supposed to go to work but I'm staying home late. I'm dressed in a blue stripped shirt with matching shorts, which I think is weird. I remind myself to change into pants before leaving for work. Then talking to my sister and one of her friends. Then I get a message on my Xbox from someone with initials C.C. I struggle to think who that is. At first I think of Sean, but that's way off with S.F. The closest I can think is E.B., Erinne from high school. I turn and see her in the room at an impressive desk. She's dressed nicely and looks like a lawyer or executive. I ask if she knows who C.C. could be. She asks me what her own phone number is. I'm confused. Do you mean your non-cell phone number? I pull out my phone to look. See calls her own house and talks to her housekeeper. Then my mother brings a big slice of ice cream cake. My sister and I eat it with our hands.

Saving Private Ryan
1012: C. In a war setting. In a small troop, looking for someone like the movie Saving Private Ryan. We find him and he's really shaken up. He's the only survivor of a big battle. I let him use my phone to make a few calls, but no one answers. Then my phone rings with an incoming call, but it's a wrong number.

Speed Racer, Secret Mission, Rugby
1123: C. I start as a racecar driver. Feels a bit cartoonish like Speed Racer. But it's just my cover for a secret spy mission. I'm in a team of spies with me, Hugh, Leonardo DiCaprio, and maybe a couple other people. We are in some third-world country. I am reminded of the movie Spy Game (but DiCaprio wasn't in that one). Leo comes up to a fruit stand to make the secret exchange, pretending to buy a basket of fruit. But something goes wrong and we have to abort the mission and run away.

Then it seems to be years later. Hugh and I have returned to the same place. This time, his two younger brothers are with us. Maybe we have come to avenge Leo? We go to the same fruit stand. Some of our faces and Leo's are on "wanted" posters. So we send in the brothers because they are new. The vendor at the stand starts arguing with them. Things seem to go bad again.

Now I'm in the middle of a game that's a bit like rugby, but not quite. I sense that I am not good at this game. I'm on the team to fill a spot and I shouldn't interfere with my better teammates. But the ball comes to me and a run and kick a field goal. We win and I climb up on the uprights, which look like the big arch in Chinatown.

Stove Fire
0424: C. This was early in the night and my notes aren't clear. Talking to a family of Italians in a kitchen. We're talking about food. One guy is sitting on the edge of the stove even while all four gas burners are lit, each cooking a small pizza. I try to warn him that he should move to another seat. Sister walks away very upset. He brags that a 9-inch pizza is 5 pounds of food. His clothes catch fire. Everyone is yelling at him to move but he seems paralyzed. Father puts out the fire with a fire extinguisher. Sister comes back with an "I told you so" attitude.

Backyard Ninjas
1100: A! Last sleep cycle of the night after 30 minute WBTB with MILD auto-suggestion. This might have been an unintentional WILD because of how the dream started. My plan was to practice teleporting, but I went off the script.

I start in bed, trying to fall asleep. I don't really know if I was really awake or dreaming INRA. Either way, I open my eyes and can see something through my sleep mask. I can still feel it around my head but it's like a hole is cut in it and I can see a blurry scene of what looks like a grand piano from far away. Now I know I must be dreaming but I still feel like I'm in my physical body. I'm not in the scene, I'm just seeing it without a dream body. So I just stay calm and don't try to move or control anything. I just watch what's happening in the scene and gently suggest that the "camera" move and zoom in. Gradually, the scene starts to look like a room with sunlight coming in a sliding glass door. This reminds me of the Daisetta house.

Then, WHAM!, I'm in the scene with my dream body. I'm not sure if this was a sudden change or a gap in my memory. It's the most vivid lucid I've had in a while. I phase through the glass door and out into the backyard which is a fairly faithful recreation of my true memory. There's a swimming pool, a concrete patio, a patio table with a giant umbrella and steep incline of dirt. The yard is surrounded by a tall fence and trees. I just look around a appreciate the vividness for about a minute. It's so calm and peaceful that the dream starts to destabilize and I wake up.

I remain still in bed to DEILD back. I imagine myself spinning in the same scene. And I'm back in the same spot. Phew. I figure I'd better do something but I forgot my plan so I think of any random task from my list. First task, I run and skip across the surface of the pool water with ease. I'm thinking of what to do next but my memory and vividness aren't as good as before. I figure I should stabilize a bit. I see a long garden rake laying on the patio table. I reach to grab the handle but I can't move my arms! I don't panic. I spin and recover my arms. I rub my hand and then grab the rake. All this improves the stability and I decided I'll just do something silly and fun.

I hold the rake like a bowstaff and assume a fighting posture. I suggest to myself, "Uh-oh... ninjas!" I look around and see four ninjas perched on the tress and fence around the yard. They are all in black with hoods and black sunglasses. The pounce off their perches to attack me with short swords. I fend them off with my rake and fight back for a few minutes. Eventually, all four are beaten and laying on the ground. I walk up to one, and snap his neck. Blood flows from his nostrils.

I walk up to another and realize it's a woman. I instinctively tear off her clothes. But I realize that I'm losing control and this will end the dream. I stop myself, stand up, and turn away. I'm now in the side yard and I can see a glimpse of the rest of the neighborhood toward the street. I think of all the houses with their doors and I'm reminded of the lucid dream from the night before. I begin to remember that my plan for today was to practice teleporting through doors. But before I can move, the dream fades away.

untitled
0513: D. Dreaming of lying in bed trying to sleep. Maybe a little INRALD feeling at the very end but woke up.

Too Many Clocks
0852: D. Again, dreaming of lying in bed trying to sleep. I hear Lance's voice as he's trying to have a conversation with me. I don't say anything. I sit up. It's dark. I look at my Zeo which is now hooked up to another alarm clock. I also see my cell phone in its dock. That's three clocks beside my bed. The Zeo has "hacked" the other alarm clock to show the same brainwave data on it's display. I have a pre-lucid moment of thinking that is weird. But dream ends.

Calendar, Closet
1014: C. I'm in a familiar house, probably Daisetta. I'm in my bedroom closet looking for a pair of underwear, but all the ones I find aren't the style that I like. My sister beckons me to come out to the living room. We have cousins in town. In the entryway, there's a giant calendar drawn on an big whiteboard mounted to the wall. Apparently, I drew it as a scheduling tool for the family. (I used this "visual management" device at work about a year ago) My family and cousins are praising me for how effective this calendar is. They ask how they should add something. Apparently the cousins are in town for a funeral and they want to note the day that the person died. I suggest that they draw a colored symbol like a star or circle on that day instead of writing words.

I return to the closet in my bedroom. It's a walk-in, like my current closet, but it shouldn't be for this house. Now I sense that I'm just visiting home but I don't live here. My mother is going to move out of this house soon so I should clean out my closet. I start collecting old pairs of shoes to throw away. On a shelf, I see a rotting box with a trail of ants crawling into it.