...from the dark corners of my mind...

DJ Log: February 13, 2011 – 7:15AM (USA Eastern)
Text color legend: · NON-DREAM · NOTES · DREAM · LUCID ·

(Note: During WBTB, I smoked 2 cigarettes of my usual herbal blend; Calea Zacatechichi, Mugwort, Damiana, Wild Lettuce, and Wild Dagga. I took 300mg Alpha GPC, a B-Complex, and 200mg L-Theanine with 2 glasses of apple juice. Immediately before returning to bed, took 8mg Galantamine+Choline. I attempted a WILD, and had some interesting results.)

I climb into bed and put my flashing LED glasses on. I set the brightness very low and set the speed to approximately 12Hz. I slowly turn up the brightness to a comfortable level. At first, geometric patterns begin to form in a chaotic fashion. The patterns slowly move around and form into structures. They are becoming well organized, sliding around and fitting together like puzzle pieces. Once the puzzle completes the assembly of itself, the texture of the patterns melt into a solid white plane that seems to maintain sync with the flashing. As my brainwaves try to stay in sync with the flashing, small corrections cause the flashing to become very apparent for split seconds until my brain corrects the synchronization. In my experience of electronics, it seems that my brain was functioning like a PLL (Phase Locked Loop) circuit, making minor real-time corrections to maintain a frequency lock with the reference source, the LED glasses. After about 5 minutes, I remove the LED glasses while keeping my eyes closed.

I decide to try my first waking attempt at a WILD, so I relax fully and perform the stop-drop-roll technique I read about in one of the DV forums. This felt pretty good, as all the tension builds up in my arms, then shoots out of my fingers when I drop my arms. While remaining entirely motionless, I begin my mantra, “I will do a reality check and become lucid” with my internal voice to help reduce and eliminate the internal chatter. Within a couple of minutes, my fingers and toes start to vibrate and the waves slowly travel up my legs and arms. The vibrations are out of sync at first and collide with each other, but they slowly get in sync as the vibrations approach the center of my body and intersect with each other. This vibration intersection and synchronization process is quite uneasy, as I have to override multiple extremely strong impulses to move my body. I read about this several times, so I feel that I am well prepared to handle it. After what felt like 30 minutes, my dream eyes opened by themselves and I can see a deep tunnel full of thick glowing white spider webs. I attempt to find my hands so I can count my fingers to confirm my lucidity, but I am tangled in the web. There is absolutely no doubt that I am fully lucid, but I have poor control. I pull at my arms a bit harder and the vision went black.

A false awakening (FA #1) put me back in my bed where I could feel my body vibrating again. I keep my eyes closed and clear my vision canvas. I focus on my past memories of the Arizona White Rock Canyon, which I had visited about 6 years ago. I would really like to try and accomplish one of my dream goals by flying through the deep canyons. I start to form a clear and detailed vision of the rocks, but suddenly the vibrations come back and crumble the rocks. A large fissure develops in the ground and I am free falling into near darkness. I try to jump and fly, but the gravity in the fissure is Jupiter-strength and I cannot fight against it. At the end of the fall, I crash into the ground quite hard and a lot of rocks and debris fall on top of me. (Note: This is the first time I recall potentially being killed in a dream.)

Once again, an FA (#2) into my bed and I can feel my body vibrating, quite a bit less than before. This time I make no attempt to steer the dream nor open my eyes. After a brief moment, I find myself laying in my bed with my winter boots and a heavy coat on. My right hand is in my coat pocket, trying to pull out a plastic box about the size of a 25-CD storage case. As soon as I pull the box out, strong vibrations travel up my right arm that create an intense wave that rolls through my body and bounces off the opposite end, my left leg, then make a U-turn and travel back out my right arm. After the vibrations stop, I hear a loud pop sound.

Once again, I FA (#3) into my bed. Opening my eyes, it appears that I am actually awake. I stare at the ceiling for a moment, trying to recollect my thoughts and figure out what I want to do with this dream. I climb out of bed and go into my bathroom. I try to turn on the light, but it won't turn on. I exclaim, “Shit! I can't believe that FA got me! That's bullshit.” I look in the mirror and my face starts to melt, then turns sideways in the reflection. I float off the floor and my feet are almost touching the ceiling, as if I'm being steered by my reflection. I look into the mirror again and there is a vortex with bright streaks of lightning swirling around in it and my reflection is gone. There is a rumbling noise in the background, resembling the sound of a large waterfall from a distance. I try to move myself toward the mirror, but I am suspended in the air and unable to move. A person approaches from the vortex in the mirror and starts to reach a hand out toward me. I was a bit unnerved that I could not move, so I closed my eyes and pushed as hard as I could with my legs. As I am pushing, I hear a sound that resembles squeaky brakes on a train in the distance.

I FA (#4) back into my bed again. The vibrations are faint and move slowly down my legs and disappear off the tips of my toes. I can feel myself floating off the bed, so I try to turn it into flight, but I fall through my bed and roll out from under it. I try to stand up, but end up floating instead. I can see myself in the bed. I look at my hands and I have at least 7 fingers on each hand. I can feel the texture of the blanket and hear the computer fan running. I turn to look at the window and fall backwards.

Once again, I FA (#5) into bed. Getting a bit frustrated after 5 FA's, I decide to wake up. I just told myself to wake up, and I sat up in bed. A nose pinch and finger count confirm that I am awake, then a follow-up RC with the light switch for a triple-check. I sit down at my PC and write my log up to this point. I intend to go back to bed in a bit and see if I can WILD again, but I think I'm way too awake now.

I get back into bed and squirm around a bit until I find that comfortable position. It's that magic position where the blanket is not pulling in any direction and the pillow is no longer making that scrunching sound. My legs are relaxed and the toes are hanging just off the edge of the mattress so they're not cramped up. This time, I change my mantra to, “I have control of everything” which I hope will work towards rectifying the control issue that I had earlier. I lay motionless for about 30 minutes and I can feel the vibrations of SP coming on again. The vibrations start from the center and work their way out to the ends of my fingers and toes, then slowly disappear. I see a bright flash of light and hear a burst of TV static sound.

I find myself in yet another FA (#6) on the couch at a friend's house. My friend and his girlfriend are both standing there, looking at me like I have two heads or something. I look at them for a second, then I look at my hands and count 3 fingers on my left hand and 8 fingers on my right hand. I am already lucid, but this reinforces it. I look back at them and say, “Buzz off” as I wave my hand at them. They both walk away and leave me alone. I get up off the couch and walk over to one of the many windows in the room. I raise the blinds, revealing a crowded shopping mall outside the window. I think about climbing out for a second, then decide that I'm at the wrong window. I close the blinds and move to the next window. The second window reveals a stormy, choppy ocean with lightning streaking across the sky. I can see the flashes from the lightning reflecting off the floor and walls of the room. Being uninterested in diving out into the middle of a storm, I close the blinds and move to the next window. The third window shows a mountainous terrain in the background and a rich green meadow full of flowers in the foreground. There is a stream winding its way through the meadow and there are birds flying all around. I thought to myself that this is way too peaceful of a scene and I absolutely must inject some havoc.

I do a quick nose pinch and shove my finger through my hand twice to make sure I'm good to jump out of a window. I take a step back, kick the glass out of the window effortlessly, and then jump out. Just as I am starting to gain flight control, I suddenly land on something. I look down to find that I just landed on Falkor's back right in front of Atreyu from the first Neverending Story.

Atreyu grabs my shoulders and says, “Hold on!” Falkor makes a quick turn and starts flying high into the sky. I thought for a second that this was kinda cool, but it definitely not what I had in mind. I jumped off Falkor's back and did a nose-dive straight into the ground. This was the dream's exit.

I woke up kinda mad that I jumped off and lost the dream. I should have just went for the ride, but whatev...