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    FallenAwake

    1. He was Jealous, I had Mild Fear and (Pity or Shame)

      by , 04-16-2011 at 09:02 AM
      WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID
      BOLD IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT


      Slipping a Picture Out

      A younger man and a man who seemed to be something like his mentor. Doing some organizing or redecorating of some sort. Cleaning? Inside an old, historic feeling building. Many large windows around one end.

      The younger man
      (was it me? I seemed to switch back and forth from third person to somewhat identified with him) had accomplished something, some landmark. He seemed like a learned novice. He had a picture of himself to mark the occasion.

      The older man took a frame off the wall. The frame and its anchoring to the wall was complex, attached to a simple wood rod decoration with a few soft undulances and shallow, smooth, symmetrical crevices. It was dusty. Some old, shriveled cobwebs huddled against it. The frame somehow slid onto this bar to connect to the wall. He told the younger man that he was going to replace the older picture of another of his (students?) with this one. The younger man felt uncomfortable with this, knew it would upset the person who was being replaced. The older man didnít open the frame, just slowly slipped the other picture out of the bottom, surprising the young man, who was me, and then slid the new picture in.

      The new picture looked casual and somewhat professional, but not strong, solid, and fitting like the old picture. It looked too new, too much of a body shot, too bright, not authentic and serious and traditional enough, with muted colors, like the picture that used to be there. But it did look happier and younger.

      The man whose picture had been replaced came over from the dim back of the building, which felt like an old bar. He was somewhat angry and jealous, disappointed, about his picture being removed. He didnít feel positively toward the young man.